(_From the Note-book of a Male Impressionist_)
_How to represent the Army._--Long skirt of gauzy material, parasol tied
with tricolour ribands, silk blouse with epauletted sleeves and a
Crimean medal pinned on to a bunch of flowers. High-heeled shoes.
Regimental levée scarf worn over the left shoulder. Tiny cocked hat
attached to the hair by two long pins and a small silk flag.
_How to represent the Navy._--Short skirt decorated with brooch anchors.
Garibaldi with naval collar. Bag hanging from waist-belt with silver
letters H.M.S. _Coquette_. Hair built up _à la_ "Belle of New York"
surmounted with a small sailor hat decorated with streamers.
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SOMETHING MILITARY.--The officers of the Blankshire Cavalry possess,
individually and collectively, more money than those of any other
regiment in His Majesty's service. If this be so--we name no
names--these gallant heroes ought to be known as "The Tin Soldiers."
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HOW EFFECTUALLY TO PRODUCE "SILENCE IN THE RANKS."--Use the _Dum Dum_
bullets.
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[Illustration: PAID IN HIS OWN COIN; OR, WHAT WE SHOULD LIKE TO SEE.
_Convicted Contractor._ "Look here! I can't walk in these boots, and I
can't eat this food!"
_Warder Punch_. "Well, you've got to; it's what you supplied to the
troops."]
* * * * *
[Illustration: OUR NON-COMS.
_Orderly Sergeant (to officer)._ "Beg your pardon, sorr, but 'm wan
ration short. Who will I give it to?"]
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[Illustration: THE MILITARY PERIL.
_Old Lady (to member of signalling section, who has just commenced to
reply to a message)._ "Young man, if you think to alarm _me_ by wagging
those flags about, you are very much mistaken!"]
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