cave and found steps at its upper end; so they descended and came to an
underground chamber, an hundred cubits long by forty wide and an
hundred high. In the midst stood a throne of gold, whereon lay a man of
huge bulk, filling the whole length and breadth of the throne. He was
covered with jewels and raiment gold-and-silver wrought, and at his
head was a tablet of gold bearing an inscription. So they took the
tablet and carried it off, together with as many bars of gold and
silver and so forth as they could bear away." And men also relate the
tale of
ISAAC OF MOSUL.
Quoth Isaac of Mosul,[FN#175] "I went out one night from Al Maamun's
presence, on my way to my house; and, being taken with a pressing need
to make water, I turned aside into a by-street and stood in the middle
fearing lest something might hurt me, if I squatted against a
wall.[FN#176] Presently, I espied something hanging down from one of
the houses; so I felt it to find out what it might be and found that it
was a great four-handled basket,[FN#177] covered with brocade. Said I
to myself, 'There must be some reason for this,' and knew not what to
think; then drunkenness led me to seat myself in the basket, and
behold, the people of the house pulled me up, thinking me to be the
person they expected. Now when I came to the top of the wall; lo! four
damsels were there, who said to me, 'Descend and welcome and joy to
thee!' Then one of them went before me with a wax candle and brought me
down into a mansion, wherein were furnished sitting- chambers, whose
like I had never seen save in the palace of the Caliphate. So I sat
down and, after a while, the curtains were suddenly drawn from one side
of the room and, behold, in came damsels walking in procession and
hending hand lighted flambeaux of wax and censers full of Sumatran
aloes-wood, and amongst them a young lady as she were the rising full
moon. So I stood up to her and she said, 'Welcome to thee for a
visitor!' and then she made me sit down again and asked me how I came
thither. Quoth I, 'I was returning home from the house of an intimate
friend and went astray in the dark; then, being taken in the street
with an urgent call to make water, I turned aside into this lane, where
I found a basket let down. The strong wine which I had drunk led me to
seat myself in it and it was drawn up with me into this house, and this
is my story.' She rejoined, 'No harm shall befall thee, and I hope thou
wilt have cause to praise the issue of thine adventure.' Then she
added, 'But what is thy condition?' I said, 'A merchant in the Baghdad
bazar' and she, 'Canst thou repeat any verses?' 'Some small matter,'
quoth I. Quoth she 'Then call a few to mind and let us hear some of
them.' But I said, 'A visitor is bashful and timid; do thou begin.'
'True,' replied she and recited some verses of the poets, past and
present, choosing their choicest pieces; and I listened not knowing
whether more to marvel at her beauty and loveliness or at the charm of
her style of declamation. Then said she, 'Is that bashfulness of thine
gone?' and I said, 'Yes, by Allah!' so she rejoined, 'Then, if thou
wilt, recite us somewhat.' So I repeated to her a number of poems by
old writers, and she applauded, saying, 'By Allah, I did not think to
find such culture among the trade folk, the sons of the bazar!' Then
she called for food" Whereupon quoth Shahrazad's sister Dunyazad, "How
pleasant is this tale and enjoyable and sweet to the ear and sound to
the sense!" But she answered, "And what is this story compared with
that which thou shalt hear on the morrow's night, if I be alive and the
King deign spare me!" Then Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and
ceased saying her permitted say.
When it was the Two Hundred and Eightieth Night,
She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that Isaac of Mosul
continued, "Then the damsel called for food and, when it was served to
her, she fell to eating it and setting it before me; and the sitting
room was full of all manner sweet-scented flowers and rare fruits, such
as are never found save in Kings' houses. Presently, she called for
wine and drank a cup, after which she filled another and gave it to me,
saying, 'Now is the time for converse and story-telling.' So I
bethought myself and began to say, 'It hath reached me that such and
such things happened and there was a man who said so and so,' till I
had told her a number of pleasing tales and adventures with which she
was delighted and cried, ''Tis marvellous that a merchant should bear
in memory such store of stories like these, for they are fit for
Kings.' Quoth I, 'I had a neighbour who used to consort with Kings and
carouse with them; so, when he was at leisure, I visited his house and
he hath often told me what thou hast heard.' Thereupon she exclaimed
'By my life, but thou hast a good memory!' So we continued to converse
thus, and as often as I was silent, she would begin, till in this way
we passed the most part of the night, whilst the burning aloes-wood
diffused its fragrance and I was in such case that if Al-Maamun had
suspected it, he would have flown like a bird with longing for it. Then
said she to me, 'Verily, thou art one of the most pleasant of men,
polished, passing well-bred and polite; but there lacketh one thing.'
'What is that?' asked I, and she answered, If thou only knew how to
sing verses to the lute!' I answered, 'I was passionately fond of this
art aforetime, but finding I had no taste for it, I abandoned it,
though at times my heart yearneth after it. Indeed, I should love to
sing somewhat well at this moment and fulfil my night's enjoyment.'
Then said she, 'Meseemeth thou hintest a wish for the lute to be
brought?' and I, 'It is thine to decide, if thou wilt so far favour me,
and to thee be the thanks.' So she called for a lute and sang a song in
a voice whose like I never heard, both for sweetness of tone and skill
in playing, and perfection of art. Then said she, Knowest thou who
composed this air and whose are the words of this song?'"No," answered
I; and she said, The words are so and so's and the air is Isaac's.' I
asked 'And hath Isaac then (may I be thy sacrifice!) such a talent?'
She replied, 'Bravo![FN#178] Bravo, Isaac! indeed, he excelleth in this
art.' I rejoined, 'Glory be to Allah who hath given this man what he
hath vouchsafed unto none other!' Then she said 'And how would it be,
an thou heard this song from himself?' This wise we went on till break
of day dawn, when there came to her an old woman, as she were her
nurse, and said to her, 'Verily, the time is come.' So she rose in
haste and said to me, 'Keep what hath passed between us to thyself; for
such meetings are in confidence;'"—And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of
day and ceased saying her permitted say.
When it was the Two Hundred and Eighty-first Night,
She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the damsel
whispered, "'Keep what hath passed between us to thyself, for such
meetings are in confidence;' and I replied, 'May I be thy ransom! I
needed no charge to this.' Then I took leave of her and she sent a
handmaid to show me the way and open the house door; so I went forth
and returned to my own place, where I prayed the morning prayer and
slept. Now after a time there came to me a messenger from Al-Maamun, so
I went to him and passed the day in his company. And when the night
fell I called to mind my yesternight's pleasure, a thing from which
none but an ignoramus would abstain, and betook myself to the street,
where I found the basket, and seating myself therein, was drawn up to
the place in which I had passed the previous night. When the lady saw
me, she said, 'Indeed, thou hast been assiduous;' and I answered,
'Meseemeth rather that I am neglectful.' Then we fell to discoursing
and passed the night as before in general-conversation and reciting
verses and telling rare tales, each in turn, till daybreak, when I
wended me home; and I prayed the dawn prayer and slept. Presently there
came to me a messenger from Al-Maamun; so I went to him and spent my
day with him till nightfall, when the Commander of the Faithful said to
me, 'I conjure thee to sit here, whilst I go out for a want and come
back.' As soon as the Caliph was gone, and quite gone, my thoughts
began to tempt and try me and, calling to mind my late delight, I
recked little what might befal me from the Prince of True Believers. So
I sprang up and turning my back upon the sitting-room, ran to the
street aforesaid, where I sat down in the basket and was drawn up as
before. When the lady saw me, she said, 'I begin to think thou art a
sincere friend to us.' Quoth I, 'Yea, by Allah!' and quoth she, 'Hast
thou made our house thine abiding-place?' I replied, 'May I be thy
ransom! A guest claimeth guest right for three days and if I return
after this, ye are free to spill my blood.' Then we passed the night as
before; and when the time of departure drew near, I bethought me that
Al Maamun would assuredly question me nor would ever be content save
with a full explanation: so I said to her, 'I see thee to be of those
who delight in singing. Now I have a cousin, the son of my father's
brother, who is fairer than I in face and higher of rank and better of
breeding; and he is the most intimate of Allah's creatures with Isaac.'
Quoth she, 'Art thou a parasite[FN#179] and an importunate one?' Quoth
I, 'It is for thee to decide in this matter;' and she, 'If thy cousin
be as thou hast described him, it would not mislike us to make
acquaintance with him.' Then, as the time was come, I left her and
returned to my house, but hardly had I reached it, ere the Caliph's
runners came down on me and carried me before him by main force and
roughly enough."—And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to
say her permitted say.
When it was the Two Hundred and Eighty-second Night,
She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that Isaac of Mosul
continued, "And hardly had I reached my house ere the Caliph's runners
came down upon me and carried me before him by main force and roughly
enough. I found him seated on a chair, wroth with me, and he said to
me, 'O Isaac, art thou a traitor to thine allegiance?' replied I, 'No,
by Allah, O Commander of the Faithful!' and he rejoined, 'What hast
thou then to say? tell me the whole truth;' and I, 'Yes, I will, but in
private.' So he signed to his attendants, who withdrew to a distance,
and I told him the case, adding, 'I promised her to bring thee,' and he
said, 'Thou didst well.' Then we spent the day in our usual-pleasures,
but Al-Maamun's heart was taken up with her, and hardly was the
appointed time come, when we set out. As we went along, I cautioned
him, saying, 'Look that thou call me not by my name before her; and I
will demean myself like thine attendant.' And having agreed upon this,
we fared forth till we came to the place, where we found two baskets
hanging ready. So we sat down in them and were drawn up to the
usual-place, where the damsel came forward and saluted us. Now when Al
Maamun saw her, he was amazed at her beauty and loveliness; and she
began to entertain him with stories and verses. Presently, she called
for wine and we fell to drinking she paying him special attention and
he repaying her in kind. Then she took the lute and sang these verses,
'My lover came in at the close of night, * I rose till he sat and
remained upright;
And said 'Sweet heart, hast thou come this hour? * Nor feared on
the watch and ward to 'light:'
Quoth he 'The lover had cause to fear, * But Love deprived him of
wits and fright.'
And when she ended her song she said to me, 'And is thy cousin also a
merchant?' I answered, 'Yes,' and she said, 'Indeed, ye resemble each
other nearly.' But when Al-Maamun had drunk three pints,[FN#180] he
grew merry with wine and called out, saying, 'Ho, Isaac!' And I
replied, 'Labbayk, Adsum, O Commander of the Faithful,' whereupon quoth
he, 'Sing me this air.' Now when the young lady learned that he was the
Caliph, she withdrew to another place and disappeared; and, as I had
made an end of my song, Al-Maamun said to me, 'See who is the master of
this house', whereupon an old woman hastened to make answer, saying,
'It belongs to Hasan bin Sahl.'[FN#181] 'Fetch him to me,' said the
Caliph. So she went away and after a while behold, in came Hasan, to
whom said Al-Maamun 'Hast thou a daughter?' He said, 'Yes, and her name
is Khadijah.' Asked the Caliph, 'Is she married?' Answered Hasan, 'No,
by Allah!' Said Al-Maamun, Then I ask her of thee in marriage.' Replied
her father, 'O Commander of the Faithful, she is thy handmaid and at
thy commandment.' Quoth Al-Maamun, 'I take her to wife at a present
settlement of thirty thousand dinars, which thou shalt receive this
very morning, and, when the money has been paid thee, do thou bring her
to us this night.' And Hasan answered, 'I hear and I obey.' Thereupon
we went forth and the Caliph said to me, 'O Isaac, tell this story to
no one.' So I kept it secret till Al-Maamun's death. Surely never did
man's life gather such pleasures as were mine these four days' time,
whenas I companied with Al-Maamun by day and Khadijah by night; and, by
Allah, never saw I among men the like of Al-Maamun nor among women have
I ever set eyes on the like of Khadijah; no, nor on any that came near
her in lively wit and pleasant speech! And Allah is All knowing. But
amongst stories is that of
THE SWEEP AND THE NOBLE LADY.
During the season of the Meccan pilgrimage, whilst the people were
making circuit about the Holy House and the place of compassing was
crowded, behold, a man laid hold of the covering of the Ka'abah[FN#182]
and cried out, from the bottom of his heart, saying, 'I beseech thee, O
Allah, that she may once again be wroth with her husband and that I may
know her!' A company of the pilgrims heard him and seized him and
carried him to the Emir of the pilgrims, after a sufficiency of blows;
and, said they, 'O Emir, we found this fellow in the Holy Places,
saying thus and thus.' So the Emir commanded to hang him; but he cried,
'O Emir, I conjure thee, by the virtue of the Apostle (whom Allah bless
and preserve!), hear my story and then do with me as thou wilt.' Quoth
the Emir, 'Tell thy tale forthright.' 'Know then, O Emir,' quoth the
man, 'that I am a sweep who works in the sheep- slaughterhouses and
carries off the blood and the offal to the rubbish-heaps outside the
gates. And it came to pass as I went along one day with my ass loaded,
I saw the people running away and one of them said to me, 'Enter this
alley, lest haply they slay thee.' Quoth I, 'What aileth the folk
running away?' and one of the eunuchs, who were passing, said to me,
'This is the Harim[FN#183] of one of the notables and her eunuchs drive
the people out of her way and beat them all, without respect to
persons.' So I turned aside with the donkey'"—And Shahrazad perceived
the dawn of day and ceased saying her permitted say.
When it was the Two Hundred and Eighty-third Night,
She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that quoth the man,
"So I turned aside with the donkey and stood still awaiting the
dispersal of the crowd; and I saw a number of eunuchs with staves in
their hands, followed by nigh thirty women slaves, and amongst them a
lady as she were a willow-wand or a thirsty gazelle, perfect in beauty
and grace and amorous languor, and all were attending upon her. Now
when she came to the mouth of the passage where I stood, she turned
right and left and, calling one of the Castratos, whispered in his ear;
and behold, he came up to me and laid hold of me, whilst another eunuch
took my ass and made off with it. And when the spectators fled, the
first eunuch bound me with a rope and dragged me after him till I knew
not what to do; and the people followed us and cried out, saying, 'This
is not allowed of Allah! What hath this poor scavenger done that he
should be bound with ropes?' and praying the eunuchs, 'Have pity on him
and let him go, so Allah have pity on you!' And I the while said in my
mind, 'Doubtless the eunuchry seized me, because their mistress smelt
the stink of the offal and it sickened her. Belike she is with child or
ailing; but there is no Majesty and there is no Might save in Allah,
the Glorious, the Great!' So I continued walking on behind them, till
they stopped at the door of a great house; and, entering before me,
brought me into a big hall—I know not how I shall describe its
magnificence—furnished with the finest furniture. And the women also
entered the hall; and I bound and held by the eunuch and saying to
myself, 'Doubtless they will torture me here till I die and none know
of my death.' However, after a while, they carried me into a neat
bath-room leading out of the hall; and as I sat there, behold, in came
three slave-girls who seated themselves round me and said to me, 'Strip
off thy rags and tatters.' So I pulled off my threadbare clothes and
one of them fell a-rubbing my legs and feet whilst another scrubbed my
head and a third shampooed my body. When they had made an end of
washing me, they brought me a parcel of clothes and said to me, 'Put
these on'; and I answered, 'By Allah, I know not how!' So they came up
to me and dressed me, laughing together at me the while; after which
they brought casting-bottles full of rose-water, and sprinkled me
therewith. Then I went out with them into another saloon; by Allah, I
know not how to praise its splendour for the wealth of paintings and
furniture therein; and entering it, I saw a person seated on a couch of
Indian rattan"—And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to
say her permitted say.
When it was the Two Hundred and Eighty-fourth Night,
She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the sweep
continued, "When I entered that saloon I saw a person seated on a couch
of Indian rattan, with ivory feet and before her a number of damsels.
When she saw me she rose to me and called me; so I went up to her and
she seated me by her side. Then she bade her slave-girls bring food,
and they brought all manner of rich meats, such as I never saw in all
my life; I do not even know the names of the dishes, much less their
nature. So I ate my fill and when the dishes had been taken away and we
had washed our hands, she called for fruits which came without stay or
delay and ordered me eat of them; and when we had ended eating she bade
one of the waiting-women bring the wine furniture. So they set on
flagons of divers kinds of wine and burned perfumes in all the censers,
what while a damsel like the moon rose and served us with wine to the
sound of the smitten strings; and I drank, and the lady drank, till we
were seized with wine and the whole time I doubted not but that all
this was an illusion of sleep. Presently, she signed to one of the
damsels to spread us a bed in such a place, which being done, she rose
and took me by the hand and led me thither, and lay down and I lay with
her till the morning, and as often as I pressed her to my breast I
smelt the delicious fragrance of musk and other perfumes that exhaled
from her and could not think otherwise but that I was in Paradise or in
the vain phantasies of a dream. Now when it was day, she asked me where
I lodged and I told her, 'In such a place;' whereupon she gave me leave
to depart, handing to me a kerchief worked with gold and silver and
containing somewhat tied in it, and took leave of me, saying, 'Go to
the bath with this.' I rejoiced and said to myself, 'If there be but
five coppers here, it will buy me this day my morning meal.' Then I
left her, as though I were leaving Paradise, and returned to my poor
crib where I opened the kerchief and found in it fifty miskals of gold.
So I buried them in the ground and, buying two farthings' worth of
bread and 'kitchen,'[FN#184] seated me at the door and broke my fast;
after which I sat pondering my case and continued so doing till the
time of afternoon, prayer, when lo! a slave-girl accosted me saying,
'My mistress calleth for thee.' I followed her to the house aforesaid
and, after asking permission, she carried me into the lady, before whom
I kissed the ground, and she commanded me to sit and called for meat
and wine as on the previous day; after which I again lay with her all
night. On the morrow, she gave me a second kerchief, with other fifty
dinars therein, and I took it and going home, buried this also. In such
pleasant condition I continued eight days running, going in to her at
the hour of afternoon prayer and leaving her at daybreak; but, on the
eighth night, as I lay with her, behold, one of her slave-girls came
running in and said to me, 'Arise, go up into yonder closet.' So I rose
and went into the closet, which was over the gate, and presently I
heard a great clamour and tramp of horse; and, looking out of the
window which gave on the street in front of the house, I saw a young
man as he were the rising moon on the night of fulness come riding up
attended by a number of servants and soldiers who were about him on
foot. He alighted at the door and entering the saloon found the lady
seated on the couch; so he kissed the ground between her hands then
came up to her and kissed her hands; but she would not speak to him.
However, he continued patiently to humble himself, and soothe her and
speak her fair, till he made his peace with her, and they lay together
that night."—And Shahrazed perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying
her permitted say.
When it was the Two Hundred and Eighty-fifth Night,
She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the scavenger
continued, "Now when her husband had made his peace with the young
lady, he lay with her that night; and next morning, the soldiers came
for him and he mounted and rode away; whereupon she drew near to me and
said, 'Sawst thou yonder man?' I answered, 'Yes;' and she said, 'He is
my husband, and I will tell thee what befell me with him. It came to
pass one day that we were sitting, he and I, in the garden within the
house, and behold, he rose from my side and was absent a long while,
till I grew tired of waiting and said to myself: Most like, he is in
the privy. So I arose and went to the water-closet, but not finding him
there, went down to the kitchen, where I saw a slave-girl; and when I
enquired for him, she showed him to me lying with one of the cookmaids.
Hereupon, I swore a great oath that I assuredly would do adultery with
the foulest and filthiest man in Baghdad; and the day the eunuch laid
hands on thee, I had been four days going round about the city in quest
of one who should answer to this description, but found none fouler nor
filthier than thy good self. So I took thee and there passed between us
that which Allah fore ordained to us; and now I am quit of my oath.'
Then she added, 'If, however, my husband return yet again to the
cookmaid and lie with her, I will restore thee to thy lost place in my
favours.' Now when I heard these words from her lips, what while she
pierced my heart with the shafts of her glances, my tears streamed
forth, till my eyelids were chafed sore with weeping, and I repeated
the saying of the poet,
'Grant me the kiss of that left hand ten times; * And learn it
hath than right hand higher grade;[FN#185]
For 'tis but little since that same left hand * Washed off Sir
Reverence when ablution made.'
Then she made them give me other fifty dinars (making in all four
hundred gold pieces I had of her) and bade me depart. So I went out
from her and came hither, that I might pray Allah (extolled and exalted
be He!) to make her husband return to the cookmaid, that haply I might
be again admitted to her favours.' When the Emir of the pilgrims heard
the man's story, he set him free and said to the bystanders, 'Allah
upon you, pray for him, for indeed he is excusable.'" And men also tell
the tale of
THE MOCK CALIPH.