"You are slandering me, Magnus! I see that you must have experienced
some very great misfortune, perhaps treachery and----"
"Hold on, Wondergood! I never speak of myself and do not like to hear
others speak of me. Let it be sufficient for you to know that you are
the first man in four years to break in upon my solitude and this only
due to chance. I do not like people."
"Oh, pardon. But I do not believe it."
Magnus went over to the bookcase and with an expression of supreme
contempt he seized the first volume he laid his hands upon.
"And you who have read no books," he said, "do you know what these
books are about? Only about evil, about the mistakes and sufferings
of humanity. They are filled with tears and blood, Wondergood.
Look: in this thin little book which I clasp between two fingers is
contained a whole ocean of human blood, and if you should take all of
them together----. And who has spilled this blood? The devil?"
I felt flattered and wanted to bow in acknowledgment, but he threw the
book aside and shouted:
"No, sir: Man! Man has spilled this blood! Yes, I do read books but
only for one purpose; to learn how to hate man and to hold him in
contempt. You, Wondergood, have transformed your pigs into gold, yes?
And I can see how your gold is being transformed back again into pigs.
They will devour you, Wondergood. But I do not wish either to prattle
or to lie: Throw your money into the sea or--build some new prisons
and gallows. You are vain like all men. Then go on building gallows.
You will be respected by serious people, while the flock in general
will call you great. Or, don't you, American from Illinois, want to
get into the Pantheon?"
"No, Magnus!----"
"Blood!" cried Magnus. "Can't you see that it is everywhere? Here it
is on your boot now----"
I confess that at the moment Magnus appeared to be insane. I jerked my
foot in sudden fear and only then did I perceive a dark, reddish spot
on my shoe--how dastardly!
Magnus smiled and immediately regaining his composure continued calmly
and without emotion:
"I have unwittingly startled you, Mr. Wondergood? Nonsense! You
probably stepped on something inadvertently. A mere trifle. But this
conversation, a conversation I have not conducted for a number of
years, makes me uneasy and--good night, Mr. Wondergood. To-morrow I
shall have the honor of presenting you to my daughter, and now you
will permit me----"
And so on. In short, this gentleman conducted me to my room in a most
impolite manner and well nigh put me to bed. I offered no resistance:
why should I? I must say that I did not like him at this moment. I was
even pleased when he turned to go but, suddenly, he turned at the very
threshold and stepping forward, stretched out his large white hands.
And murmured:
"Do you see these hands? There is blood on them! Let it be the blood
of a scoundrel, a torturer, a tyrant, but it is the same, red human
blood. Good night!"
--He spoiled my night for me. I swear by eternal salvation that on
that night I felt great pleasure in being a man, and I made myself
thoroughly at home in his narrow human skin. It made me feel
uncomfortable in the armpits. You see, I bought it ready made and
thought that it would be as comfortable as if it had been made to
measure! I was highly emotional. I was extremely good and affable. I
was very eager to play, but I was not inclined to tragedy! Blood! How
can any person of good breeding thrust his white hands under the nose
of a stranger--Hangmen have very white hands!
Do not think I am jesting. I did not feel well. In the daytime I still
manage to subdue Wondergood but at night he lays his hands upon me.
It is he who fills me with his silly dreams and shakes within me his
entire dusty archive--And how godlessly silly and meaningless are
his dreams! He fusses about within me all night long like a returned
master, seems to be looking about for something, grumbles about losses
and wear and tear and sneezes and cavorts about like a dog lying
uncomfortable on its bed. It is he who draws me in at night like a
mass of wet lime into the depths of miserable humanity, where I nearly
choke to death. When I awake in the morning I feel that Wondergood has
infused ten more degrees of human into me--Think of it: He may soon
eject me all together and leave me standing outside--he, the miserable
owner of an empty barn into which I brought breath and soul!
Like a hurried thief I crawled into a stranger's clothes, the pockets
of which are bulging with forged promissory notes--no, still worse!
It is not only uncomfortable attire. It is a low, dark and stifling
jail, wherein I occupy less space than a ring might in the stomach of
Wondergood. You, my dear reader, have been hidden in your prison from
childhood and you even seem to like it, but I--I come from the kingdom
of liberty. And I refuse to be Wondergood's tape worm: one swallow
of poison and I am free again. What will you say then, scoundrel
Wondergood? Without me you will be devoured by the worms. You will
crack open at the seams--Miserable carcass! touch me not!
On this night however I was in the absolute power of Wondergood. What
is human blood to Me? What do I care about the troubles of _their_
life! But Wondergood was quite aroused by the crazy Magnus. Suddenly
I felt--just think of it--! That I am filled with blood, like the
bladder of an ox, and the bladder is very thin and weak, so that it
would be dangerous to prick it. Prick it and out spurts the blood! I
was terrified at the idea that I might be killed in this house: That
some one might cut my throat and turning me upside down, hanging by
the legs, would let the blood run out upon the floor.
I lay in the darkness and strained my ears to hear whether or not
Magnus was approaching with his white hands. And the greater the
silence in this cursed house the more terrified I grew. Even Toppi
failed to snore as usual. This made me angry. Then my body began to
ache. Perhaps I was injured in the wreck, or was it weariness brought
on by the flight? Then my body began to itch in the most ordinary way
and I even began to move the feet: it was the appearance of the jovial
clown in the tragedy!
Suddenly a dream seized Me by the feet and dragged me rapidly below.
I hardly had time enough to shout. And what nonsense arose before me!
Do you ever have such dreams? I felt that I was a bottle of champagne,
with a thin neck and sealed, but filled not with wine but with blood!
And it seemed that not only I but all people had become bottles with
sealed tops and all of us were arranged in a row on a seashore. And,
Someone horrible was approaching from Somewhere and wanted to smash
us all. And I saw how foolish it would be to do so and wanted to
shout: "Don't smash them. Get a corkscrew!" But I had no voice. I was
a bottle. Suddenly the dead lackey George approached. In his hands
was a huge sharp corkscrew. He said something and seized me by the
throat--Ah, ah, by the throat!----
I awoke in pain. Apparently he did try to open me up. My wrath was
so great that I neither sighed nor smiled nor moved. I simply killed
Wondergood again. I gnashed my teeth, straightened out my eyes, closed
them calmly, stretched out at full length and lay peacefully in the
full consciousness of the greatness of my Ego. Had the ocean itself
moved up on me I would not have batted an eye! Get thee hence, my
friend, I wish to be alone.
And the body grew silent, colorless, airy and empty again. With
light step I left it and before my eyes there arose a vision of the
_extraordinary_, that which cannot be expressed in your language,
my poor friend! Satisfy your curiosity with the dream I have just
confided to you and ask no more! Or does not the "huge, sharp
corkscrew" suit you? But it is so--artistic!
* * * * *
In the morning I was well again, refreshed and beautiful. I yearned
for the play, like an actor who has just left his dressing room.
Of course I did not forget to shave. This canaille Wondergood
gets overgrown with hair as quickly as his golden skinned pigs. I
complained about this to Toppi with whom, while waiting for Magnus,
I was walking in the garden. And Toppi, thinking a while, replied
philosophically:
"Yes, man sleeps and his beard grows. This is as it should be--for the
barbers!"
Magnus appeared. He was no more hospitable than yesterday and his pale
face carried unmistakable indications of weariness. But he was calm
and polite. How black his beard is in the daytime! He pressed my hand
in cold politeness and said: (we were perched on a wall.)
"You are enjoying the Roman Campagna, Mr. Wondergood? A magnificent
sight! It is said that the Campagna is noted for its fevers, but there
is but one fever it produces in me--the fever of thought!"
Apparently Wondergood did not have much of a liking for nature, and
I have not yet managed to develop a taste for earthly landscape: an
empty field for me. I cast my eyes politely over the countryside
before us and said:
"People interest me more, Signor Magnus."
He gazed at me intently with his dark eyes and lowering his voice said
dryly and with apparent reluctance:
"Just two words about people, Mr. Wondergood. You will soon see my
daughter, Maria. She is my three billions. You understand?"