It gives us joy to state that the celebrated Dr. MILIO (of whom we have
never heard before) has invented a means of illuminating men's
interiors. The doctor lives in Russia; and he takes you and throws
inside of you "a concentrated beam of electric light;" and then he sees
exactly what particular pill you want, and he gives it to you, and you
go away (after paying him) exultant! This quite does away with the
necessity of a bow-window in the bosom, so much desired by a certain
ancient philosopher.
Mr. PUNCHINELLO begs leave most respectfully to announce that he has
determined to import, at any expense whatever, one of Dr. MILIO'S
Concentrated Electric Beamers. With this Dr. PUNCHINELLO does not intend
to engage in private practice. His purpose is to throw the light
directly into the Body Politic, whether the B.P. requests him to do it
or not. Dr. P. confidently expects to make some most extraordinary
discoveries of various diseases--of greed, foolish ambition, ossification
of the heart, moral leprosy, chronic stupidity, latent idiocy, and that
very common and often unsuspected complaint usually known as Humbug.
(Humbugna Communis.) His fee in no case will exceed ten cents per week;
and patients WILL BE illuminated by the year.
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