Helen had no opportunity to decline Gladys Van Duyn's invitation to Dorp
House, the Van Duyn summer place on the Sound, even if she had been
reluctant to go thither, as, in a certain way, she was. She craved
seclusion with her husband, but she also craved a fuller immersion in
that life of ease and art and culture in which she had as yet only
dabbled with her feet. She was a trifle appalled by her own ignorance of
the ways of that life, and shrank a little from it, as one shrinks from
the cold bath while still desiring its shock.
But there was no choice left to her. Gladys Van Duyn was a peremptory
little lady, accustomed to have her own winning way, and moreover, the
whole matter had been arranged between the elder Van Duyn and Braine
before it was mentioned to Helen at all.
Dorp House was within easy reach of the city, so that no business
obstacle interposed. It would be infinitely pleasanter for Helen to rest
there than to swelter in a hotel; Van Duyn and Braine had need of many
and prolonged conferences over the business operations in which they
were engaged, and Van Duyn wished Braine to meet a number of gentlemen
whose connection with that business it was necessary to conceal as much
as possible. These were so often Van Duyn's guests in summer that the
necessary conferences with them could be had at Dorp House without
observation, whereas any meeting in town would have set tongues wagging.
Thus all arguments pointed in one way, and it only remained for Helen to
discover that the change would be beneficial to Braine, on whom heat and
work were beginning to have some effect, in order that she should
dismiss all her little fears and hesitations.
It was not until she had grown somewhat used to the sumptuous but easy
hospitality of the house that she again resumed her diary.
* * * * *
[From Helen's Diary.]
I have had no time to write for many days. I am living in a whirl of
excitement, and yet there is no occasion for excitement, as I am made
to feel that I can really do precisely as I please.
The charm of this house's hospitality is that it sets one free. I need
never go anywhere, or make the least apology for not going. I need not
go to bed or get up till I like. I need never appear at a meal if I wish
to stay away, and I need not wonder what anybody will think. And yet I
feel as if I were in a whirl of excitement, I suppose because all the
people about me are so bright, and the atmosphere so intellectual. Every
species of high thought is represented here. Among the guests are
artists, connoisseurs, musicians, authors, statesmen, financiers, and a
world of brilliant and beautiful women. Good taste seems the only law
existing or necessary in this society. It never occurred to me before,
but good taste seems to be a complete code of morals, whose observance
renders all other statutes unnecessary.
Edgar is ever the lover,--one whose caresses and endearments are never
exhausted, and there is endless delight in the thought that my life
holds nothing but to-morrows with him.
Gladys is altogether such as I imagined her to be at first sight--a
charming, delicate woman, full of affection that never blunders, and is
never lacking in tact. She is the most graceful hostess in the world.
When I see her in this capacity, a sudden longing to have such a home,
and such opportunities to bring about me such men and women, comes over
me. I never mentioned this to Edgar until last night, for I feared he
would think me dissatisfied--and that is impossible. I must always be
happy where he is.
The cottage at Thebes is not forgotten, and at times, amid all this
luxury and charm, I long for it with Edgar all to myself.
Last night I said something that conveyed my thought to him, quite by
accident. I was confused for a moment afterward, and wanted to turn it
off; but a sudden happy light came into Ed's eyes, and he said: "You
would like to live like this?" I admitted it a little reluctantly, but
told him that I would be just as well satisfied, though, when we were
back in Thebes. He said that he was glad to know that this life made me
happy, and that if I had not the ambition for it, at least the life
would not be distasteful to me; that in another year I should entertain
these same people in my own house, and that that house should be where I
wished it to be.
This produced in me a strange emotion. It was one of joyous
intoxication--and regret. I don't know what the regret was for, and it
vanished in a moment.
Every one is very attentive to us. Edgar at once took the reins in his
own hands. There seemed to be no effort on his part. He appeared to be
almost unconscious of it. They are people whom he had never seen before,
but people that every one hears of. There is something almost
aggressively non-aggressive in Edgar's manner. It is impossible that he
should appear in any company or walk through a room without impressing
every one who sees him.
To-night there were some strange guests at dinner, and I was seated next
to one of them, while Edgar took in Gladys. My neighbor did not
understand that I was Edgar's wife, and during dinner the conversation
turned on some public question, and some one referring to Edgar for his
opinion, he gave it. He seemed to forget the company after a moment, he
was so deeply interested in the subject, and talked on. Every one at the
table seemed suddenly to cease talking, and to be listening intently to
him. I forgot them, myself, everything but Edgar and his voice. There is
a quality in his voice that I have never known in any other person's. It
is a magnetic quality that compels one, that fascinates one.
When he stopped speaking every one was silent for a moment, and then a
murmur of approval ran round the table.
The man next to me turned and said: "Do you remember the gentleman's
name?" and I said, "Yes, Mr. Braine," and he said with a sudden
surprise, "The man who has just--Why, he is a statesman; I had thought
him only a speculator!"
He said it with a funny little snap of his teeth, and a decisive nod. I
did not dare say that I was Edgar's wife. I felt that I deserved
punishment for daring to be his wife. I cannot be interested in the
conversation of people, unless they are talking of him. Every one seems
to have discovered this, and so they all talk to me a great deal of him.
One or two of the gentlemen here I do not like particularly. I seem to
afford them a certain amusement, and they endeavor to corner me on every
occasion, and talk to me.
One of them said last night: "You are one of the most naive women that I
have ever known." It made me a little angry for some reason, and I told
Edgar about it afterward, and he held my face in his hands and said:
"Well, you certainly are," and his eyes smiled. I seemed to like it when
Edgar said it.
There is a Mr. Everet coming to-morrow. Every one seems to enjoy the
anticipation of his visit. Gladys talks a great deal of him. He is
evidently a very superior man. We leave here to-morrow night, and return
to Thebes. I have a little curiosity to meet the man, and hope that he
will come before we leave.
_August._ We are still at Dorp House, and do not leave for some days
yet. Mr. Everet came yesterday morning. He is a charming man, and
reminds me of Edgar in many ways. He is a dignified man, too. I do not
like men who do not impress me as earnest and grave. He is a courtly
sort of man. I was very anxious to see him, for I desired to
compare--impartially--Edgar and a man who is so much sought after and
lauded for his brilliancy.
Well, I have seen him. Edgar is only the more magnificent. Mr. Everet
and he seem to appreciate each other greatly. They smoke together and
have had a long talk. They seem to have a great respect for each other's
opinions--though they do not agree.
After dinner this evening, Mr. Everet came out on the piazza where I was
sitting, and we had a delightful talk for an hour. I did not feel at all
embarrassed. I have never felt just that since we left Thebes. I feel
often that I am not the equal of many of those whom I meet, in an
intellectual way, and I regret it, but I have the assurance that I am
honest in doing my best for Edgar, and that they will overlook any
mistake of mine, kindly, as I am his wife.
We talked of many things, and finally he regretted that we were going so
soon, and hoped that he would see us in Washington--his interests are
there, and he spends the winters there, and does something politically.
I don't know anything about that. I told him about Thebes, and that we
were to live there; that we had taken a cottage, and that I did not
suppose that we could go to Washington for a long time, as I thought we
should have to be quite economical.
For some reason I found myself talking very confidentially to him, and
we seemed to have known each other a long time. I told him about the
people at Thebes, and the _Enterprise_, and that it was just possible
that sometime we could live somewhere else, and differently--a little
like this.
He listened very attentively and sympathetically. There seemed to be a
puzzled and surprised expression on his face at first, but soon it
disappeared, and he smiled and said meditatively: "Yes, I understand."
After a while I happened to look up, and Edgar stood leaning against the
railing, watching me. There was a beautiful look in his eyes, and he and
Mr. Everet looked at each other and smiled.
I thought they seemed a little amused, but very much pleased. I asked
Edgar afterwards, and he said, he could never look otherwise than
pleased when listening to me, could he?