Mr. BINGHAM made a speech ostensibly upon the Tariff, but really about
BUTLER. He said that BUTLER didn't take Fort Fisher. This is a favorite
joke of BINGHAM'S. As to Mr. BUTLER'S opinion of his treatment of Mrs.
SURRATT, he didn't care. He should continue to advocate protection to
home industry.
Mr. FERNANDO WOOD paid a beautiful tribute to General HOWARD. He said
that officer had been absorbing public money at a rate far exceeding any
thing even in the municipal annals of New-York. The gentle freedom might
need a bureau, but it certainly was not essential to his happiness to
have General HOWARD enriched by managing it. Mrs. HOWARD was not a
freedman. The idea was absurd. The other members of General HOWARD'S
family were not freedmen. Neither were General HOWARD'S staff. Neither
were any of the people who had benefited by this money.
Mr. BUTLER didn't see the why of this constant row about the misuse of
money. What was the use of a man's having an office if he couldn't make
money out of it? He was proud to say that he entered the army poor and
came out rich.
* * * * *
The "Day" we don't Celebrate.
The Philadelphia one.
* * * * *
"The Man who Laughs."
The man who reads PUNCHINELLO.
* * * * *
Wanted--A Sheriff.
The lovely city of Chicago, which needs about twenty sheriffs to keep it
in order, at the latest date had none at all; for the gentleman holding
that office by law, in sheer despair (and some debt) has absconded,
actually leaving a man to be hung, who was not hung, do you see, because
there was nobody to hang him. Plenty of rope there was, to be sure, and
a most beautiful gallows--but no sheriff! Of course, the thing came to a
stand--perhaps it would not be proper to say a Dead stand--and the
embarrassed Governor was obliged to commute the sentence! The creditors
of the missing officer made a great complaint, but the Man who Wasn't
Hung did not find the least fault. This shows the different views which
the human mind may take of the same transaction.
* * * * *
Municipal Competition.
Poor New-York! We thought that there were some things in which she could
not merely not be beaten, but in which also she was secure even from
competition. But the envious will never allow us to rest upon our
hardly-earned laurels. Will it be believed that they have actually
discovered and inaugurated a Wickedest Man in Cincinnati? He is called
COLLINS, and must be a descendant of the COLLINS who wrote an Ode on the
Passions; for all the bad ones this Cincinnati COLLINS has in great
perfection. His Rage especially is beautiful. First, he knocks down his
fellow-creatures. Secondly, when the police are sent to capture him, he
knocks down the police. He is in jail, however; and we would suggest a
Convention of the Wickedest Men in all parts of the country to take
measures for his release.
* * * * *
Origin of the Mississippi.
The contests for supremacy between Chicago and St. Louis have banished
every particle of modesty from both cities, and each now considers
itself to be the Centre of the Universe. Geographers may not heretofore
have understood the origin of the Mississippi River, but the St. Louis
_Democrat_ throws a great deal of light upon it. "We have been visited,"
says that sheet, "by heavy showers. The rain poured down heavily all
night, flooding the gutters and adding to the volume of the river." It
thus appears that this noble stream depends mainly for its water upon
the gutters of St. Louis. Will these not, however, be rather damp
resting-places for Members of Congress, should the Capital be removed to
St. Louis?
* * * * *
The Repeater's Idea of Voting by Ballot.
All Stuff.
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_Cook_ "HO, HO! THIS HERE PAPER SAYS THE WOMEN OF WYOMING HAS TOOK TO
SITTIN' ON JURIES. LAW SAKES! MARY ANN, WOULDN'T I LIKE TO SIT ON A
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