(BY OLD AESOP HIMSELF.)
Once there was a large city that had the same name as the State to which
it belonged. The people of the State made laws for the city, because
some of the citizens of the city had declared that life and property
were not safe unless they did so. But the majority of the citizens
disliked this kind of government so much that they began to find
themselves very discontented and unhappy. At length they decided to pray
to Fate (which meant the Voters of the State) to relieve them from the
burden under which they were groaning, and restore their power. Then
Fate heard their cries and lamentations, and was kind enough to come to
their relief. "Now, why don't you use your power?" she asked. "Oh!" said
the late unhappy, and indeed wretched majority, "we only wanted a chance
to quarrel a little among ourselves, and call each other hard names."
"Couldn't you have done that before?" asked Fate. "Why do you give me
all this trouble?" "To tell the truth," said the Majority, "when we
wash, we like to show our dirty linen; and we couldn't let enough people
see it without getting you to help us." "Well," said Fate, "in future
you'll get no assistance from me in washing your foul linen. If you like
to be known as dirty people, go on being dirty, and every body that has
nose and eyes will finally understand you."
* * * * *
Punchinello in Erie.
In the _Tribune's_ report of the arguments on the Erie case before the
Assembly Committee on Railroads, Mr. BURT is said to have stated his
belief that Mr. CROUCH is a contributor to PUNCHINELLO. Our best
thanks are due to Mr. BURT for his "first-rate notice," though, at the
same time, we wish to inform him that no contributor of the name of
CROUCH has hitherto made his appearance in these columns. To speak
plainly, PUNCHINELLO never Crouches. As he has no "slouch" about
him, so he has no Crouch.
* * * * *
[Illustration: PAT-RATIOCINATION.
_First Political Economist._ "AFTHER ALL, THE BIG MASS OF THE PEOPLE
MUST FORM THE GREAT BULK OF THE POPULATION."
_Second ditto._ "THRUE FOR YOU, BARRIN' THEY GET INTO THE MINORITY BY
THE OVER-WHELMIN' NUMBERS OF THE PRIVILEGED FEW."]
* * * * *
A Rather Flashy Idea.
With regard to heating the Hôtel Dieu Hospital, in Paris, by
electricity, a contemporary has remarked, "Of course, we know nothing of
the apparatus by which this result is accomplished in Paris; but we had
the opportunity of witnessing on Wednesday last, at the Winder building,
the experiments of Dr. LEIGH BURTON in applying electricity for warming
railroad cars, which were entirely successful and satisfactory." Of
course, _we_ know nothing about it either; but we hope the new method is
a great improvement on the old one, as we have several times witnessed
_from_ the Winder, buildings, barns especially, heated by electricity in
a very _un_satisfactory manner.
* * * * *
"On Two, Richmond!"
RICHARD III. fancied that there were "two RICHMONDS in the field."
Singularly coincidental with this, and well worth the attention of
Shakespearean scholars, is the fact that Richmond, Va., is now running
two mayors. Of course, Richmond, Va., cannot now be looked upon as a
"one-horse" town.
* * * * *
Ritualistic.
One of the latest allurements held out by the managers of a celebrated
"high" church in this city, is a "three hours' agony"--which is about
the most appropriate name for a long and tedious sermon we remember ever
to have heard.
* * * * *