Bring a glass of sparkling water,
Fill the goblet to the brim,
Let the microscopic critters
Take in it a harmless swim.
Here are meat and drink united,
_Life_, indeed, in this we see;
Who'd exchange so rich a fluid
For the baser _eau de vie_?
Give us, then, no ale nor porter,
Logwood wine, nor other drugs;
But a glass of sparkling water
Filled with sportive little bugs.
* * * * *
Musical and Mechanical.
The coopers of New-York City intend to start an organ. It will be
a hand-organ, of course, for hand-organs have been Barrel-organs from
time immemorial.
* * * * *
Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1870, by the
PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY, in the Clerk's Office of the District
Court of the United States, for the Southern District of New-York.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "HO! HANGELINA, HANGELINA HADAMS, COME TO THE
HALLEY-WINDOW AND SEE A 'OSS WITH HIS 'OOFS TURNED UP!"]
* * * * *
OUR FOREIGN CORRESPONDENCE.
(BY ATLANTIC CABLE.)
DOWNING STREET, LONDON, April 10, A.M.
I have, as ordered, made extensive arrangements for a world-wide
correspondence for PUNCHINELLO. Knowing your want of confidence in the
party called, so truly and briefly, the "_Press Ass,_" who sends over
accounts of horse-races, etc., with an occasional item of news, I have
wires connecting this office with Paris, Madrid, Rome, and other places
of consequence. A special delegate of PUNCHINELLO has been already
admitted to a seat in the OEcumenical Council. Pope Pius remarked kindly
that he was the only person there who honestly told what he came for.
His Holiness enjoyed, also, a hearty laugh at his first interview; the
subject being the proper title and costume of our delegate. It was
concluded, as he was somewhat dark in complexion, to dub him Bishop of
'Ngami; which, you know, is one of those places that LIVINGSTONE (_is_
he living, though?) found out. When any body questioned him, the said
delegate was immediately to talk 'ngammon Latin; and His Holiness would
interpret it to the council, as being the African for infallibility.
It's wonderful how well this jolly dog gets on, with his dogmas and dog
Latin together.
Now for news. After all, the _most_ remarkable event has happened on
your side of the water; but as Philadelphia is further from New York
than New York is from Philadelphia, (the latter is _so_ slow,) I don't
believe you have heard it yet. There is a railroad, well known
thereabouts, going to _Germantown._ Well, the event is, that the board
of directors of that road have--will you believe it? I hardly
do--ordered a _new car_--a palace-car! The way it happened was that,
owing to the large use of cattle-cars on the Pacific Railroad, no more
second-hand cars could be got for a month or two, bad enough for the
directors to buy; and there wasn't a builder in the country willing to
make their kind of cars to order.
On this side of the "big pond" we have had nothing so laughable as the
MORDAUNT case. The charge of the presiding judge to the Prince of Wales
has not been correctly reported. I am told that he spoke thus: "Your
Royal Highness is advised that, on this occasion, it is not expected
that your Royal Highness should tell the truth, unless your Royal
Highness pleases; indeed, your Royal Highness is rather advised not to
tell the truth. Now, will your Royal Highness, acting under this advice,
please to say, whether he did, or did not, ever do any thing naughty?"
Some one said to me at the time--are there not _some_ mordants that will
dye beyond whitewashing? But I believe that Wales always was moral, is
moral, and always will he moral, (Balmoral!) Now, this last assertion I
call news! Is it reliable?
More about Yokohama. An English sailor, from Captain EYRE'S vessel, is
said to have murdered a Japanese, in cold blood, to rob his house. A
court sat upon the case; and, after trial, pronounced this decision: "We
regret to be obliged to find, that the man, CHAN-JUN, lost his life by
an incision of his throat; and that the knife which made the incision
was in the hand of the sailor called BILL BLINKS, of the Bombay. While,
therefore, it would have been, undoubtedly, much better if the man
CHAN-JUN, and his house, had been out of the way of the said BILL
BLINKS, who by their proximity was placed under a temptation, we are
unwillingly compelled to regret that BLINKS should have made an
unfortunate incision of this kind. We are therefore of the opinion that
the said WILLIAM BLINKS ought not to be allowed to have any grog for at
least six days." This very severe sentence was, we are told, afterward
remitted by request of Captain EYRE.
Our Roman delegate sends me word to-day, that, the Pope's gardener at
the Vatican setting out a variety of early spring plants, every one of
them came up a Hyacinth! One after another was sent to pot; but,
hydra-headed, still they come! By the way, it is said that two newly
noted people in the church are Frère JONQUIL and Soeur DAFFODIL; another
is a negro priest, black as two ravens, and he is called Father CROCUS.
ROCHEFORT, we learn, the other day refused to eat any thing, because his
prison food was at the cost of the Emperor's government. M. OLLIVIER
forthwith sent him a polite autograph note of congratulation; telling
him that this was the first act of his, public or private, of which he
approved; and in the result of which the government, people, and world
would take satisfaction. ROCHEFORT, after reading the note, twisted it
up to light a cigarette, and then told his jailer to bring in his
dinner! You _can't_ please that man.
M. CHASLES has just been appointed _Curator of Autographs_ at the
Bibliothèque Impériale at Paris, with VRAIN LUCAS as his secretary. This
gives general satisfaction.
Miss ANNE B----, of Philadelphia, who lives at Rome, has just written a
charming song, with music for the piano, entitled, "Liszt, O Liszt!"
The most famous _aria_, however, there now, is the malaria. Rome is
sick. The people are sick of the Pope and his priests; the Pope is sick
of the Council; the bishops are sick of each other; and travellers are
sick of fever. _Sic transit!_
Let me tell you of my experience, for one day, with the "Press Ass" of
the Cable. On getting here, finding him to be amicable, I tried him on.
He gave me, for news, to send over to PUNCHINELLO, the following: