My Call to the Ministry
When I was about twenty-two years of age, I attended a camp-meeting held by
a number of different denominations. One night, while at this meeting, I
awoke and became conscious that God was calling me to get up and to go
outside the tent to pray. As I obeyed the voice of the Lord, I became
conscious of his awful presence and remembered what he said to Moses: "Put
thy shoes from off thy feet, for the ground whereon thou standest is holy
ground." God then called to my remembrance how he had been leading me for
sometime to pray in secret for many different persons and interests, and
made me to understand that he wanted me to exercise myself in that way at
this time also.
After I had prayed for everything I could think of, the Lord burdened me to
pray again, although it seemed that I had no other language in which to
express my petition. The Lord would in a special manner send down the glory
in my soul and, at every repeated petition, fill me more and more with his
presence. This was done at least three times. Then he confronted me with
this question, "Will you consecrate yourself to go out as a life-worker for
me?" "Lord," I cried, "I thought I consecrated myself all to you when I was
sanctified." "Yes, you did, but not as a life-worker," was his answer;
although, of course, this was included in the "all things" that I
consecrated to the Master.
Although I realized that God was talking to me, yet I began making excuses:
"Lord, I am not talented; my education is so meagre; there is no one to go
with me; and, besides, I have a stammering tongue." God cut my excuses
short with, "Who made man's mouth? I gave Moses Aaron as his spokesman; but
I will do a better part by you, I will go with you myself." Praise the
Lord! Throughout the years that I have worked for him, this promise has
been fulfilled.
Again, when the devil suggested that I had no means of traveling, the Lord
brought to my mind this scripture, "Yea, the Almighty shall be thy defense,
and thou shalt have plenty of silver." For every excuse I made, the Lord
had a scripture, until I felt as did Job, that when the Almighty speaks, "I
will lay mine hand upon my mouth." So I submitted and consented to obey
God.
I now suppose that I was ready to go back to bed; but the Lord began to
talk to me again. He showed me that he wanted me to pray still more. As I
began again to pour out my heart to him, he seemed just to pour the glory
into my soul and to press it down until he saw, I suppose, that I was ready
to hear his plan for me--a plan that I had not yet contemplated. When he
said to me therefore, "Go preach my gospel," I was astonished beyond
measure. Oh, it was all so new! I made excuses; but again he gave Scripture
to offset every excuse--and all so comforting and strengthening--that I
submitted to his will. I went to bed almost overwhelmed by the glory of
God.
Next day I thought that as I had been blessed in learning God's will
concerning me, others would be rejoiced too, to hear me relate my
experience. But when I began to tell publicly how God had talked to my
soul, to my surprise, it stirred up a spirit of jealousy in some and before
night the devil tried to carry out his design to defeat the Lord's plan in
regard to me. The devil began by starting a wicked falsehood against me and
thus, almost crushing the life out of me. I did not understand the devil's
cunning way and did not know how to lean on God, it was a dark hour for me.
I remembered how the enemies of Moses tried to slay him when he was a
child, and how the Jews tried to destroy our Savior when he was a little
babe. God proved himself and protected me; he lifted me above all my
persecutions and made me more than a conqueror. I had learned the useful
lesson to let the Lord be my defense and not to try to defend myself.
On my return home, when I told my class-leader how God had revealed his
will to me concerning my future, he said, "You are a pretty looking thing
to be called to preach." I thought so too; but to excuse myself, for I
hardly knew what to say, I replied, "I do not believe that every one called
to preach will have to stand in the pulpit: a person may preach by his life
and conduct." Mother was the only other person to whom I told the story of
my call, until I began my ministry.