As a result of the competition in cheap miniature two-seater cars we
anticipate several interesting developments and take the liberty of
extracting the following items from the newspapers of the future:--
FOR SALE.--Small two-seater car, fit gentleman five feet eleven inches
in height. Forty-two inches round the chest. Only been worn a few
times.
Why pay a thousand pounds for a large car when you can get the same
result with one of our hundred-pound Midget Cars? Our Midgets are
trained to make a noise like a six-seater touring car. We undertake
that you shall get the Park Lane feeling at suburban rates. Write for
a free sample, enclosing six penny stamps for postage.
One great attraction in the Midget Car is that you need not use a rug
to throw over its bonnet in cold weather. A tea-cosy will do.
WHAT OFFERS?--Advertiser, breaking up his collection, will sell his
stud of tame mice, two goldfish and several obsolete silkworms, or
would exchange for two-seater Midget with spanner.
DEAR SIR.--I have a small two-seater car. It is quite a young one. At
what age can I start feeding it on greenstuff? SMITH, MINOR.
PERSONAL.--Will the individual who was driving a Midget Car which ran
over old gentleman in the Strand be good enough to come forward and
pay for the watch-glass which he cracked?
BE ECONOMICAL.--Our Midgets only smell the petrol. It costs no more to
run a Midget than it does to run an automatic pipe-lighter.
_To the Midget Motor Car Company_.
GENTLEMEN,--With reference to the Midget Car you measured me for
recently, I ought to have mentioned that I wanted patch pockets on the
outside, in which to carry the tools. Yours, etc.
FOR SALE.--Owner whose two-seater car is a trifle tight under the arms
wishes to dispose of his pair of white spats.
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"Prince Eitel Fritz has been telling the Germans that his father,
the ex-Kaiser, is now 'legally' dead. We must get rid of that
adjective without delay."--_John Bull_.
"If you see it in _John Bull_ ..." Grammarians please note.
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"CHRIST CHURCH, ----.--Wanted at once, for definitely
Protestant Evangelical Church, light-minded colleague to
share ministry."--_Record_.
A chance for our demobilised humorists.
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[Illustration: THE TRAFFIC PROBLEM. TEACHING THE YOUNG IDEA HOW
TO TUBE.]
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