the backwoods, half horse, half alligator, a little touched with the
snapping turtle; can wade the Mississipi, leap the Ohio, ride upon a
streak of lightning, and slip without a scratch down a honey locust;
can whip my weight in wild cats--and if any gentleman pleases, for a
ten dollar bill, he may throw in a panther--hug a bear too close for
comfort, and eat any man opposed to General Jackson."
AGRICULTURAL RETURNS.--647.
A farmer in the West once planted his onions close to his poppies, and
the consequence was they grew so sleepy that he never could get them
out of their beds.
FRANKLIN AND HANCOCK.--648.
"We must be unanimous," observed Hancock, on the occasion of signing
the declaration of American Independence; "there must be no pulling
different ways." "Yes," observed Franklin, "We must all hang together,
or most assuredly we shall all hang separately."
HENRY CLAY.--649.
The following description of Henry Clay appeared in the _Knickerbocker
Magazine_; it is needless to say it is by a Western man:--"He is a
man, and no mistake! Nature made him with her _sleeves rolled up_."
NATURAL MISTAKE.--650.
A gentleman at the Astor House table, New York, asked the person
sitting next to him if he would please to pass the mustard. "Sir,"
said the man, "do you mistake me for a waiter?" "Oh no, Sir," was the
reply, "I mistook you for a gentleman."
_LITERATURE._--651.
An American writer says, "Poetry is the flour of literature; prose is
the corn, potatoes, and meat; satire is the aqua-fortis; wit is the
spice and pepper; love letters are the honey and sugar; and letters
containing remittances are the apple-dumplings."
THOMAS JEFFERSON.--652.
Thomas Jefferson, when Minister to France, being presented at Court,
some eminent functionary remarked, "You replace Dr. Franklin, Sir." "I
_succeed_ Dr. Franklin," was Mr. Jefferson's prompt reply, "no man can
_replace_ him."
BORROWING THE BABY.--653.
All owners of interesting children will be amused by the following,
from the _Boston Daily American_:--A gentleman and lady of that
city were blessed with a beautiful child about a year old, which
attracted so much attention from their neighbours, that the young
ladies opposite frequently sent over to "borrow the baby." After being
obliged to send for the child several times, Mr. ----, on coming home
to dinner one day, got out of temper on finding it gone as usual.
"There, Jane," said he, "go over to the Misses ---- and get the baby;
give them my compliments, and tell them I wish they had a baby of
their own, and were not obliged to borrow."
FORCIBLE EVICTION.--654.
Meeting an American friend travelling in the United States, I enquired
whither he was going? "Why," said he, "I guess I'm going to take
possession of an estate of mine, and I calculate I will have to shoot
down my predecessors."
BOXES AND PIT.--655.
Wemyss, a famous theatrical manager in Philadelphia, quitted the
business, and opened instead a large store for the sale of patent
medicines. A friend dryly remarked that he would no doubt be
successful in filling both _boxes_ and _pit_.
A SWIFT HORSE.--656.
The _Maine Farmer_ tells a number of tough stories about a man whom
it calls "Neverbeat." Here is one:--A gentleman was boasting in the
presence of Neverbeat about the speed of his horse, which, he said,
would trot a mile inside of three minutes, and follow it for three
miles. "A mile inside of three minutes aint much to brag about,"
said Neverbeat. "Why, the other day I was up to S----, sixteen miles
distant; just as I started for home, a shower came sweeping on. The
rain struck in the back part of the waggon; and the moment it struck,
I hit old Kate a cut with the whip, away she trotted, scarcely
touching her fore feet to the ground. She kept just nip and nip with
the shower. _The waggon was filled with water, but not a drop fell on
me._"
PASSING THE COW TO THE CALF.--657.
An American dandy who wanted the milk passed to him at an hotel, thus
asked for it: "Landlady, please to pass your cow down this way." The
landlady thus retorted: "Waiter, take this _cow_ down to where the
_calf_ is bleating."
NATURE AND ART.--658.
An American, fresh from the magnificent woods and rough clearings,
was one day visiting the owner of a beautiful seat in Brooklyn;
and, walking with him through a little grove, out of which all the
underbrush had been cleared, paths had been nicely cut and gravelled,
and the rocks covered with woodbine, suddenly stopped, and, admiring
the beauty of the scene, lifted up his hands and exclaimed: "This I
like! This is Nature--_with her hair combed_."
NEARING IT BY DEGREES.--659.
"Mrs. Green," said a tolerably dressed female, entering a grocery
store, in which were several customers, "have you any fresh-corned
pork?" "Yes, ma'am." "How much is this sugar a pound?" "One shilling,
ma'am." "Let me have," she continued, lowering her voice, "half a pint
of gin, and charge it as sugar on the book."
AN APT PUPIL.--660.
A farmer once hired a Vermonter to assist him in drawing logs. The
Yankee, when there was a log to lift, generally contrived to secure
the smallest end, for which the farmer chastised him, and told him
always to take the butt end. Dinner came and with it a sugar-loaf
Indian pudding. Jonathan sliced off a generous portion of the largest
part, giving the farmer the wink, and exclaimed: "_Always take the
butt end._"
POETS.--661.
I never seen a poet that warn't as poor as Job's turkey, or a church
mouse; nor a she-poet that her shoes didn't go down to heel, and her
stockings looked as if they wanted darnin'; for its all cry and little
wool with poets.--_Sam Slick._
GIN AND WATER.--662.
"Mister, your sign has fallen down!" cried a temperance man to a
grog-shop keeper, before whose door a drunken man was prostrate.
We don't know, says a paper, whether this temperance man was the
same into whose store a customer reeled, exclaiming, "Mr. ----, do
you--keep--a-ny--thing--good to take here?" "Yes, we have excellent
cold water; the best thing in the world to take." "Well, I know
it," was the reply, "there is no one--thing--that's done so much
for--navigation--as that."
THE "STEAL PEN."--663.
A Western editor complains that all the good things in his paper are
cut and inserted in other papers, without acknowledgment of the source
whence they are obtained. He says, "they do not render unto scissors
the things that are scissors'."
A PILE OF JOKES.--664.
Speaking of wags--what is more waggish than a dog's tail when he is
pleased? Speaking of tails--we always like those that end well: Hogg's
for instance. Speaking of hogs--we saw one of those animals the other
day lying in the gutter, and in the one opposite a well-dressed man;
the first one had a ring in his nose, and the latter a ring on his
finger. The man was drunk; the hog was sober. "A hog is known by the
company he keeps," thought we; so thought Mr. Porker, and off he went.
Speaking of "going off" puts us in mind of a gun we once owned--it
"went off" one night, and we have not seen it since. Speaking of guns
reminds us of powder--we saw a lady yesterday with so much of it on
her face that she was refused admission into an omnibus for fear of an
explosion.
OBITUARY NOTICE.--665.
The _Christian Index_ (U. S.) thus prefaces an obituary:--"But a
week since we recorded the death of one who was an old father in the
church, a careful reader of the _Index_, and who paid for three papers
in advance."
AN INFANT TEACHER.--666.
Under the title of "An Odd Advertisement," a New York paper publishes
the following:--"A young lady, perfectly competent, wishes to form
a class of young mothers and nurses, to instruct them in the art of
talking to infants in such a manner as will interest and please them."
QUADRUPLICATED PUN.--667.
A comedian at Boston, by way of puff for his approaching benefit,
published the following lines:--
"Dear Public, you and I of late
Have dealt so much in fun;
I'll crack you now a monstrous great
Quadruplicated pun!
"Like a _grate full_ of coals I'll glow,
A _great full_ house to see;
And if I am not _grateful_, too,
A _great fool_ I must be!"
BUCOLIC STUPIDITY.--668.
We saw a venerable looking cow yesterday, says the _Cincinnati
Herald_, eating pine sawdust, under the impression that it was bran.
She didn't find out her mistake until night, when it was found that
she gave turpentine instead of milk.
LIFE IN KENTUCKY.--669.
The following story of "Life in Kentucky" being in print ought, of
course to be believed:--"Early one morning the shouts and cries of a
female were heard. All ran to the spot. When they arrived they saw a
man and a bear engaged in combat. They had it hip and thigh, up and
down, over and under, the man's wife standing by and hallooing 'fair
play.' The company ran up and insisted on parting them. 'No, no,' said
the woman, 'let them fight it out; for it's the first fight I ever saw
that I didn't care which whipped!'"
AMERICAN PROVERBS AND SIMILES.--670.
AMBITION is as hollow as the soul of an echo.
TIDE, steamboats, and soda-water will wait for no
one.
BIG feet, like a leather shirt, are more for use
than ornament.
MONEY slips from the fingers like a water-melon
seed, travels without legs, and flies without wings.
IT is the lot of humanity to err at times, as
the drunken man said when he mistook the pig-pen for his
bedroom.
A GOOD deed will stick out, with an inclination to
spread, like the tail of a peacock.
YOU might as well undertake to whistle a
grape-vine from a white oak, as to induce a girl to
relinquish her lover.
SIMILES.--671.
AS big as all out of doors.
AS dry as the clerk of a lime-kiln.
AS long as a thanksgiving sermon.
AS crooked as a Virginian fence.
AS straight as a loon's leg.
AS straight as a shingle.
AS sharp as the little end of nothing.
AS slick as greased lightning.
AS swelling as a basket of chips.
AS happy as a clam at high water.
AS tight as the bark of a tree.
AS crazy as a bed-bug.
AS mad as all wrath.
AS wrathy as a militia officer on a training-day.
AS proud as a tame turkey.
AS melancholy as a Quaker meeting-house by moonlight.
AS useless as whistling psalms to a dead horse.
LIKE all nature.
LIKE all fury.
LIKE all possessed.
THRASHING round, like a short-tailed bull in fly-time.
HEAD and tail up, like chicken cocks in laying-time.
INDEX.
PAGE
Absence of Mind, 50, 52, 85
Abstraction, 187
Adopting the Other Course, 158
Advantage of Burning Two Candles, 2
Advice to Doctors, 179
Advice to Parents, 49
After Joining Church, 43
Agreeable Customer, An, 19
Agreeing with all the Girls, 134
Agricultural Returns, 202
Aids to Memory, 184
All-Healing, 200
All Human, 87
All Well, 41
Amende Honourable, 177
American Competition, 152
American Curiosity, 176
American Definitions, 152
American Estimate of their Clergy, 9
American Help, An, 174
American Notion of Villany, 94
American Platform, 86
American Proverbs, 207
American Similes, 207
American Soil, 149
"And That's a Fact", 104
Angler Caught, The, 201
Another Burst of Eloquence, 109
Another Discovery, 96
Answered at Once, 189
Answering an Advertisement, 168
Antediluvian Diet, 61
Any Better than None, 154
Any Relations, 140
Appropriate Gift, An, 115
Apt Pupil, An, 205
Artistic Execution, 146
Awkward Coincidence, 95
Baby Story, A, 16
Bachelorism a Luxury, 22
Backwoods Conversation, 173
Big Puff, A, 67
Billings, Josh., Insures his Life, 83
Billings, Josh., Sayings of, 99, 196
Billings, Josh., on Horses, 175
Billy Bray, 28
Black Bull, A, 160
Blind Phrenologist of St, Louis, 135
Bonnets, 194
Borrowing the Baby, 203
Boxes and Pit, 204
"Braggin' saves Advertisin'", 113
Breakfast in Bed, 129
Brigham Young's Wives, 91
Bright and Blue, 186
Brother of Four Million Children, 63
Bucolic Stupidity, 207
"Bus" in the Cars, A, 132
Business and Affliction, 5
Candid Parson, A, 12
Canine Resemblance, 69
Captain's Pudding, The, 123
Catching, 184
Caught Unawares, 32
Cause and Effect, 182
Cautious Witness, A, 72
Changes, 141
Charged and Discharged, 202
Chasing a Locomotive, 135
Cheap Treat, A, 83
Chickens in Tennessee, The, 21
Citizen of all the States, A, 30
Claiming Exemption, 122
Clay, Henry, 203
Clergyman and the Lawyer, 110
Climacteric Sublimity, 107
Close Witness, A, 88
Cold Picture, A, 37
Colonel answered, The, 12
Colt's Arms _v._ Colt's Legs, 126
Columbus and the Egg, 117
Columbus's Discovery, 106
Complimentary, 168
Conclusive, 114
Condensed Novel, A, 25
Conditional Forgiveness, 87
Confession of a Clergyman, 95
Confidence Necessary, 189
Cool Customer, A, 22
Coolness, 106
Cords of Hymen, The, 82
Corking up Daylight, 16
Critical, 162
Criminal didn't see it, 72
Crockett, Colonel, and the 'Coon, 199
Crockett, Colonel, 202
Crooked Stick, The, 115
Cross Purposes, 20
Couldn't help it, in fact, 43
Couldn't make an Impression, 108
Couple of Reasons too many, A, 3
Cuff's Cabin, 157
Cure for Fainting, 82
Curing Two Afflictions, 164
Curiosities of American Speech, 55
Curious Event, 57
Cute Expedient, 185
Cutting, 168
Damaging the Engine, 128
Darkie's Wish, The, 168
Date Wanted, The, 105
"Dat's de Mystery", 126
Debt of Nature, The, 160
"De Dissolution of Coparsnips", 17
Delicate Cut, A, 128
Democrats _v._ Republicans, 102
Demosthenes not Dead, 33
Diamond Cut Diamond, 54
Didn't care, then, if he did, 140
Dinner, but no Breakfast, 159
Disconsolate, 147
Disinterested Lieutenant, A, 122
Distant Friend, A, 167
Domestic Economy, 50
Double Difficulty, A, 143
Doubtful, 144
Dow, Junior, 84
Do you Smoke?, 78
Drawing the Long Bow, 7
Dying Soldier and his Mother, 68
Dry Joke in a Dry Goods' Store, A, 26
Dull Members, 171
Early Rising in Connecticut, 1
Eclipsing Himself, 151
Editorial Fix, 110
Editorial Horse, An, 102
Editorial Tribulations, 54
Editors Exchanging Compliments, 92
Editors' Wives, 142
Effective Remonstrance, 147
Effect of Eloquence, The, 80
Egg "Brof", 3
Either Way will do, 96
Elbow-Room Scarce, 3
Emerson and Parker, 101
English Grammar, 40
Enthusiastic Newsvendor, 119
Epigram on Lincoln, 149
Everett and Judge Story, 163
Excessive Politeness, 53
Excuse for Drinking, 142
Exempt decidedly, 97
Extraordinary Absence of Mind, 102
Extraordinary Crow, 49
Extraordinary Motto, 52
Eye to Business, An, 130
Failed for a Good Reason, 19
Fair Retort, A, 161
Falling in Love, 171
Familiar Acquaintance, 151
Fancy her Feelings, 85
Feeling her Way, 18
Female Admirable Crichton, 102
Fine Stream, A, 196
Fine Writing, 107
"Fire at the Crisis", 173
Firm Foundation, 187
First Marriage, The, 42
Five Outs and One In, 151
Floating Population, A, 102
Fond of Society, 197
Forcible Eviction, 204
Forensic Eloquence, 18
Forest-Born Orator, A, 70
Forlorn Hope, 146
4-tunate Young Man, A, 2
Four Points of a Case, 2
Franklin, Dr., 161
Franklin and Hancock, 203
Friendly Notice, 185
Gallant Correction, 187
Gem, A, 165
General no Pattern, The, 175
German Wines, 175
Getting down a Ladder, 98
Gin and Water, 205
Gone Home, 137
Good Eyesight, 172
Governor and the Justice, The, 119
Graham System, The, 13
Grandpa's Spectacles, 71
Grant, General, 172
Great Scarcity, 123
Great Traveller, A, 136
Grieving for a Wife, 105
Grim Welcome, 22
Guarded Answer, A, 78
Habitual Thirst, 170
Habits of a Great Man, 28
Half Guilty, 177
Hairs, not Bristles, 60
Happiest of Vowels, The, 117
Hard Feathers, 163
Hard Hearing, 187
Hard Lying, 4
Hard Scrabble, 90
Hard up 73, 144
Having the Coffin Handy, 41
He had him that time, 17
Heady, 172
Heavenly Bodies, The, 117
Heavy Top-Dressing, 60
Height of Meanness, The, 105
Hen Persuaders, 70
Her Marriage Gift, 196
Her Poor Jerry, 130
Highly Probable, 103
His First Step, 64
His Reasons for Leaving, 133
His Wife's Cousin, 66
Holding the Stakes, 74
Homely Flag of Truce, 16
Horrified Dandy, A, 27
Hot Pies, 57
Hotel Accommodation in the South, 81
Hotel Rules at the "Diggins", 79
Household Words, 132
How a "Copperhead" was Shaved, 10
How Ale strengthened him, 67
How Mr. Lincoln shakes Hands, 89
How Sam was Caught, 84
How to do Business, 97
How to get a Seat, 95
How to go Mad, 101
Huggin', 192
Human Nature, 138
Hunting up a Soft Place, 39
I would if I could, 90
Illegible Manuscripts, 88
"I'm the Baggage", 20
In Black and White, 77
In Love with the Devil, 89
Incident and Epigram, An, 137
Inducement to Young People, 102
Inducement Unnecessary, 148
Infant Teacher, An, 206
Infantile Idea of Distance, 126
Inflammable and Dangerous, 51
Ingenious Boot-Black, 35
Inquiring Mind, An, 23
Insinuating Rejoinder, 156
Interesting Announcement, 142
Interesting Experiment, 99
Interesting to the Parties concerned, 14
Interrupting the Sermon, 84
Irish Bull at Bull's Run, An, 131
Irish Exhortation, 89
Irish Negro, 99
It follows, 175
Jefferson, Thomas, 203
Jemmy O'Neil and President Jackson, 61
Jew D'Esprit, A, 157
Job's Patience--as viewed by a Lady, 38
John and the Widdah, 150
Joke by Jenkins, A, 104
Joke by the President, 143
Jonathan's Guess, 178
Jonathan of All Trades, 167
Judge and his Coachman, The, 75
Judgment of Solomon, The, 6
Just got Married, 137
Keen and Significant, 85
Keeping a Secret, 139
Kind and Sympathetic, 138
Kissing by Proxy, 146
Kissing in Wisconsin, 13
Knocking at the Church Door, 24
Knowing and Not Knowing, 197
Knowing Contraband, A, 172
Knowing Juryman, A, 15
Laconic, 184
Lagging Compliment, A, 121
Lapse of Ages, The, 111
Last Compliment, The, 161
Latest Dog Story, 147
Latest Way, The, 136
Law of Compensation, The, 108
Learned Members of the American Legislature, The, 11
Lee, Gen., and a Son of Erin, 125
Lee, Gen., to General Meade, 158
Legal Advice under Singular Circumstances, 79
Legal Toast, A, 86
Legislation, 194
Letter R, The, 130
Letter S, The, 144
Libellous Assertion, 98
Life in Kentucky, 207
Lincoln on Nigger Mathematics, 37
Literature, 203
Littles, 58
Loafer's Hat, The, 160
Lobster Salad, 43
Logs Wanted, 50
Logic of Congress, 126
Lone Nigger, A, 97
Long and Short of it, 106
Longfellow and Longworth, 141
Long Livers, 188
Look on this Picture and on this, 50
Looking for a Situation, 77
Love-Letter Ink, 163
Lovers' Leap, The, 168
Low-necked Frocks, 100
Luminous Evidence, 68
Lying at the Top, The, 113
"Mails" and Females, 107
Major Downing in London, 154
Making a Man's Coffin before his Death, 7
Marriage Notices, 16
Marriage and Single Blessedness, 69
Meade, Gen., to Gen. Lee, 158
Meat Baby, A, 110
Mighty Thick Fog, A, 57
Mild Assertion, A, 185
Military Tactics, 145
Military Veracity of the North, 3
Millennium at Hand, The, 195
Milwaukee Eloquence, 60
Minister's Reception, The, 108
Mixing the Babies, 30
Model Advertisements, 111
Modern Definitions, 187
Modest Linendraper, A, 137
Modesty, 199
Monster Punch-Bowl, 188
Mooted Question, A, 97
More Copy, 189
More Laughable than Logical, 107
Most too Sudden, 140
Much Virtue in an "If", 167
My Pew, Sir!, 6
Naming Children in America, 106
Nature and Art, 155, 205
Natur's Balances, 149
Natural Mistake, 203
"Naygers," The, 183
Nearing it by Degrees, 205
Negro Sermon, 71
Nerve of Feeling, 200
Nest Egg, The, 44
New, if not True, 164
New Dish, A, 160
Newspaper Borrowers, To, 34
New Way to affix a Stamp, 115
Niagara Falls from Four Points of View, 126
Nice Girl, A, 48
Nigger Explanation, 157
No Doubt, 38
No Justice in that Court, 140
No Patients Living, 72
No Place like Home, 128
No Vices, 173
Nonsense about Love, 144
Not Exactly, 201
Not for Want, 121
Not Particular, 112
Not so, 47
Not to be Done, 32
Not to be wondered at, 76
Not Willing to Die, 130
Note by the Editor, 147
Novel Commentary by a Parson, 42
Novel Effect of a Second Marriage, 103
Novel Hint from the Pulpit, 86
Novel Proposition, 141
Novel Telegraphic Message, 129
Novel Verdict, A, 94
Obeying Orders, 201
Obituary Notice, 206
Objecting to Missions, 64
Obstinacy Cured, 200
Ode on Gas, An, 54
Odd Excuse for not being Hung, 19
Odd Names, 79
Of course not, 101
Ohio Democracy, The, 48
"Old Brains", 119
Old Hen and Chickens, The, 21
Old King's Arm, The, 89
Ole Harry and Ole Nick, 46
One of the Press, 109
Only the Eleventh, 1
"Open Thy Cupboard to Me", 148
Openness of Countenance, 74
Origin of "Some Punkin", 62
Original Brother Jonathan, The, 116
Other Impediment, The, 178
Other Side, The, 91
Our Bob, 127
Out-Yankeed, 10
Oysters, 186
"Paddle your own Canoe", 34
Painful Necessity, 189
Painting to the Life, 117
Paper Collars, The, 182
Parental Advice, 42
Parting Friends, 97
Passing the Cow, 204
Pay your Postage, 15
Perils of the Fourth Estate, 111
Perpetual Motion, 152
Personal, 95
Pete's Expectations, 77
Pickled Elephant, 183
Picture Dealing, 179
Pile of Jokes, A, 206
Pithy Letter, 13
Plain enough, 109
Plain Spoken, 165
Plump Question, 81
Poetical Editor, A, 72
Poetical Patchwork, 112
Poetry and Prose, 138
Poets, 205
Pointed Retort, 129
Polite Man, A, 106
Politics, 172
Poor Couple, A, 102
Poor Preaching, 169
Popping Corn, 191
Popping the Question, 70, 165
Powerful Sermon, 192
"Preach Small", 4
Precept and Practice, 161
Presented at Court, 162
President Jackson, 61
President Lincoln, Epigram on, 149
President Lincoln on Nigger Mathematics, 37
President Lincoln's First Political Speech, 151
President and the Marshal, The, 156
President's Voice, The, 10
Presidential Puns, 73
Pretence, 148
Pretended Pelham, A, 159
Printers' Mistakes, 108
Printer's Toast, A, 154
Profit and Loss, 182
Profitless Teaching, 120
Prompt Reply, A, 84
Proverbs, 91
Providing for Bills, 125
Putting a Good Face on it, 200
Putting forward his Creed, 47
Pugnacious Ram, The, 27
Puzzled, 181
Puzzled Judge, A, 34
Quadruplicated Pun, 207
Quaker's Excuse for Firing, 62
Quaker Woman's Sermon, 128
Qualifications for a Parson, 103
Queer Cup of Coffee, A, 7
Queer Queries, 78
Question for Astronomers, A, 104
Question for Question, 166
Quizzing a Witness, 155
Quoting his Father, 118
Rare Printer, A, 51
Rat Story, A, 78
Rather Cute, 86
Real Heavy Gale, A, 114
Reasonable Instinct, 162
Reason for Dear Cream, A, 49
Reasons for not Joining Church, 89
Reasons enough, 100
Rebuke, A, 188
Remarkable Chambermaid, 156
Remarkable Dream, 43
Remarkable Man, A, 52
Remarkable Skipper, 188
Remarkable Tenacity of Life, 8
Remarkably Sociable, 180
Receipt in Full, A, 153
Returned Soldier's Letter, 73
Rivalling Nature, 95
Rough Bedfellow, A, 163
Sad Scarcity of Paper, 105
Saddest Sight, The, 38
Salary not so much an Object, 124
Sambo and Cuffee, 54
Sambo's Suspicion, 127
Sam's Soul, 9
Same Drunk, 184
Satisfactory Reason, A, 88
Saved the Leather, 194
Saving the Truth, 156
Sayings Wise and Witty, 195
Scene in an American Court, 24
Schoolmaster Abroad, The, 167
Scientific Agreement, 38
Scipio's Wife, 68
Scripture Names, 22
Securing his Trunk, 26
Self-evident Knowledge, 199
Sensations of a Down-Easter, 141
Sensible Woman, A, 96
Setting the Time, 180
Settling the Wine Bill, 145
Sharp Child, 80
Sharp Shooting, 1
Shedding their Last Blood, 129
"Shell in de Stove," A, 53
Shrewd Nigger, A, 174
Short and Expressive, 83
Simile, A, 150
Similes, 208
Simmons on Life, 185
Simplicity, 15
Slashing Article, A, 94
Slick's, Sam, Description of a Teetotaller, 151
Slick's, Sam, Geology, 172
Slick, Sam, on Happiness, 121
Slick's, Sam, Wise Saws, 143
Slight Difference, 177
Small Loaves, 1
Small Waists and Tight Lacing, 157
Smart Railway _Employé_, 63
Smiles, 146
Snip, 173
Snorers, To, 35
Snoring in Church, 163
Snubbing a Lawyer, 98
So Humane, 113
Soap coming Handy, 25
Soldier's Farewell, A, 76
Solemn Hour, A, 90
Solid Reason, A, 186
Something like a Good Shot, 51
Sonnet instead of a Bonnet, A, 21
Sound Advice, 15
Spare Girl, A, 115
Sparing his Feelings, 101
Speaking his Deep Emotions, 59
Spectacles and Bible Reading, 52
Splendid Firing, 202
Spiritualism Extraordinary, 59
Squashed, 186
Stage-Struck Hoosier, 75
"Steal Pen," The, 206
Steam Defined, 132
Stoning Stephen, 170
Story with a Moral, 18
Strange Peculiarities, 22
Stretch of Imagination, 179
Striking Definition, 103
Striking Effect of a Strike, 28
Striking Lesson, A, 122
Striking Resemblance, 150
Strong Inducement, 131
Stump Orator, A, 12
Styling the Firm, 156
Sublime and Ridiculous, 96
Substituting one Treat for another, 78
Sudden Declaration, 153
Superfluous Testimonial, 73
Sure of it, 179
Suspecting the Shell, 63
Swift Horse, A, 204
Take Care of your Baggage, 152
Taking his Patients for a Ride, 75
Taking the Starch out, 80
Tall Relations, 50
Tall Talk, 130
Talking-Match, 146
Tart, 193
Tearful Response, A, 159