SCENE III. _A room in the Garter Inn._

_Enter HOST and BARDOLPH._

_Bard._ Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your

horses: the duke himself will be to-morrow at court, and

they are going to meet him.

_Host._ What duke should that be comes so secretly? I

hear not of him in the court. Let me speak with the gentlemen: 5

they speak English?

_Bard._ Ay, sir; I’ll call them to you.

_Host._ They shall have my horses; but I’ll make them

pay; I’ll sauce them: they have had my house a week at

command; I have turned away my other guests: they must 10

come off; I’ll sauce them. Come. [_Exeunt._

NOTES: IV, 3

SCENE III.] SCENE VI. Pope.

1: _Germans desire_] Capell. _Germane desires_ Ff Q3.

7: _Ay_] om. F3 F4.

9: _house_] (Q1 Q2) Rowe. _houses_ Ff Q3.

11: _come off_] _compt off_ Theobald (Warburton). _not come off_

Capell.

SCENE IV. _A room in FORD’S house._

_Enter PAGE, FORD, MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD,

and SIR HUGH EVANS._

_Evans._ ’Tis one of the best discretions of a ’oman as

ever I did look upon.

_Page._ And did he send you both these letters at an

instant?

_Mrs Page._ Within a quarter of an hour. 5

_Ford._ Pardon me, wife. Henceforth do what thou wilt;

I rather will suspect the sun with cold

Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy honour stand,

In him that was of late an heretic,

As firm as faith.

_Page._ ’Tis well, ’tis well; no more: 10

Be not as extreme in submission

As in offence.

But let our plot go forward: let our wives

Yet once again, to make us public sport,

Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow, 15

Where we may take him, and disgrace him for it.

_Ford._ There is no better way than that they spoke of.

_Page._ How? to send him word they’ll meet him in the

Park at midnight? Fie, fie! he’ll never come.

_Evans._ You say he has been thrown in the rivers, and 20

has been grievously peaten, as an old ’oman: methinks

there should be terrors in him that he should not come;

methinks his flesh is punished, he shall have no desires.

_Page._ So think I too.

_Mrs Ford._ Devise but how you’ll use him when he comes, 25

And let us two devise to bring him thither.

_Mrs Page._ There is an old tale goes that Herne the hunter,

Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest,

Doth all the winter-time, at still midnight,

Walk round about an oak, with great ragg’d horns; 30

And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle,

And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain

In a most hideous and dreadful manner:

You have heard of such a spirit; and well you know

The superstitious idle-headed eld 35

Receiv’d, and did deliver to our age,

This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.

_Page._ Why, yet there want not many that do fear

In deep of night to walk by this Herne’s oak:

But what of this?

_Mrs Ford._ Marry, this is our device; 40

That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us.

_Page._ Well, let it not be doubted but he’ll come:

And in this shape when you have brought him thither,

What shall be done with him? what is your plot?

_Mrs Page._ That likewise have we thought upon, and thus: 45

Nan Page my daughter and my little son

And three or four more of their growth we’ll dress

Like urchins, ouphes and fairies, green and white,

With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,

And rattles in their hands: upon a sudden, 50

As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,

Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once

With some diffused song: upon their sight,

We two in great amazedness will fly:

Then let them all encircle him about, 55

And, fairy-like, to-pinch the unclean knight;

And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel,

In their so sacred paths he dares to tread

In shape profane.

_Mrs Ford._ And till he tell the truth,

Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound, 60

And burn him with their tapers.

_Mrs Page._ The truth being known,

We’ll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit,

And mock him home to Windsor.

_Ford._ The children must

Be practised well to this, or they’ll ne’er do’t.

_Evans._ I will teach the children their behaviours; and 65

I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight with

my taber.

_Ford._ That will be excellent. I’ll go and buy them

vizards.

_Mrs Page._ My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies, 70

Finely attired in a robe of white.

_Page._ That silk will I go buy. [_Aside_] And in that time

Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away,

And marry her at Eton. Go send to Falstaff straight.

_Ford._ Nay, I’ll to him again in name of Brook: 75

He’ll tell me all his purpose: sure, he’ll come.

_Mrs Page._ Fear not you that. Go get us properties

And tricking for our fairies.

_Evans._ Let us about it: it is admirable pleasures and

fery honest knaveries. [_Exeunt Page, Ford, and Evans._ 80

_Mrs Page._ Go, Mistress Ford,

Send quickly to Sir John, to know his mind.

[_Exit Mrs Ford._

I’ll to the doctor: he hath my good will,

And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.

That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot; 85

And he my husband best of all affects.

The doctor is well money’d, and his friends

Potent at court: he, none but he, shall have her,

Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her. [_Exit._

NOTES: IV, 4

SCENE IV.] SCENE VII. Pope.

1: _’oman_] _o’mans_ Q3.

7: _cold_] Rowe. _gold_ Ff Q3.

9: _as faith_] F1 Q3. _of faith_ F2 F3 F4.

11: _as extreme_] F1 Q3. om. _as_ F2 F3 F4.

11, 12: Printed in one line in Ff Q3.

20: _say_] _see_ Collier MS.

_in the rivers_] F1 Q3. _into the river_ F2 F3 F4.

22: _terrors_] _terror_ Q3.

29: _midnight_] F1 Q3. _of midnight_ F2 F3 F4.

30: _great ragg’d_] _ragged_ Pope.

31: _tree_] _trees_ Hanmer.

41: Here Theobald inserts from Q1 Q2, _We’ll send him word to meet

us in the field, Disguised like Herne_ [_Horne_ Q1 Q2] _with huge

horns on his head._ Malone gives the second line only. See note

(VIII).

56: _to-pinch_] Steevens (Tyrwhitt conj.).] _to pinch_ Ff Q3.

_too, pinch_ Warburton.

_fairy-like, to-pinch_] _like to fairies pinch_ Hanmer.

60: _him sound_] F2 F3 F4. _him, sound,_ F1 Q3. _him round,_ Pope.

_him soundly_ Collier MS.

67: _taber_] _taper_ Pope.

72: _time_] _tire_ Theobald.

75: _in name_] _in the name_ Q3.

86: _he_] _him_ Hanmer.

SCENE V. _A room in the Garter Inn._

_Enter HOST and SIMPLE._

_Host._ What wouldst thou have, boor? what, thick-skin?

speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.

_Sim._ Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff

from Master Slender.

_Host._ There’s his chamber, his house, his castle, his 5

standing-bed, and truckle-bed; ’tis painted about with the

story of the Prodigal, fresh and new. Go knock and call;

he’ll speak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee: knock,

I say.

_Sim._ There’s an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into 10

his chamber: I’ll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come

down; I come to speak with her, indeed.

_Host._ Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed:

I’ll call. --Bully knight! bully Sir John! speak from thy

lungs military: art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, 15

calls.

_Fal._ [_Above_] How now, mine host!

_Host._ Here’s a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming

down of thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully, let her

descend; my chambers are honourable: fie! privacy? fie! 20

_Enter FALSTAFF._

_Fal._ There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now

with me; but she’s gone.

_Sim._ Pray you, sir, was’t not the wise woman of

Brentford?

_Fal._ Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell: what would you 25

with her?

_Sim._ My master, sir, Master Slender, sent to her, seeing

her go thorough the streets, to know, sir, whether one Nym,

sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain or no.

_Fal._ I spake with the old woman about it. 30

_Sim._ And what says she, I pray, sir?

_Fal._ Marry, she says that the very same man that beguiled

Master Slender of his chain cozened him of it.

_Sim._ I would I could have spoken with the woman

herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too 35

from him.

_Fal._ What are they? let us know.

_Host._ Ay, come; quick.

_Sim._ I may not conceal them, sir.

_Host._ Conceal them, or thou diest. 40

_Sim._ Why, sir, they were nothing but about Mistress

Anne Page; to know if it were my master’s fortune to have

her or no.

_Fal._ ’Tis, ’tis his fortune.

_Sim._ What, sir? 45

_Fal._ To have her, or no. Go; say the woman told

me so.

_Sim._ May I be bold to say so, sir?

_Fal._ Ay, sir; like who more bold.

_Sim._ I thank your worship: I shall make my master 50

glad with these tidings. [_Exit._

_Host._ Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John.

Was there a wise woman with thee?

_Fal._ Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath

taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my 55

life; and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for

my learning.

_Enter BARDOLPH._

_Bard._ Out, alas, sir! cozenage, mere cozenage!

_Host._ Where be my horses? speak well of them,

varletto. 60

_Bard._ Run away with the cozeners: for so soon as I

came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind one of

them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs and away, like

three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses.

_Host._ They are gone but to meet the duke, villain: do 65

not say they be fled; Germans are honest men.

_Enter SIR HUGH EVANS._

_Evans._ Where is mine host?

_Host._ What is the matter, sir?

_Evans._ Have a care of your entertainments: there is a

friend of mine come to town, tells me there is three 70

cozen-germans that has cozened all the hosts of Readins, of

Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you for

good will, look you: you are wise, and full of gibes and

vlouting-stocks, and ’tis not convenient you should be

cozened. Fare you well. [_Exit._ 75

_Enter DOCTOR CAIUS._

_Caius._ Vere is mine host de Jarteer?

_Host._ Here, master doctor, in perplexity and doubtful

dilemma.

_Caius._ I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tell-a me dat

you make grand preparation for a duke de Jamany: by my 80

trot, dere is no duke dat the court is know to come. I tell

you for good vill: adieu. [_Exit._

_Host._ Hue and cry, villain, go!--Assist me, knight. --I

am undone!--Fly, run, hue and cry, villain!--I am undone!

[_Exeunt Host and Bard._ 85

_Fal._ I would all the world might be cozened; for I

have been cozened and beaten too. If it should come to

the ear of the court, how I have been transformed, and how

my transformation hath been washed and cudgelled, they

would melt me out of my fat drop by drop, and liquor 90

fishermen’s boots with me: I warrant they would whip me

with their fine wits till I were as crest-fallen as a dried pear.

I never prospered since I forswore myself at primero. Well,

if my wind were but long enough [to say my prayers,] I

would repent. 95

_Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY._

Now, whence come you?

_Quick._ From the two parties, forsooth.

_Fal._ The devil take one party, and his dam the other!

and so they shall be both bestowed. I have suffered more

for their sakes, more than the villanous inconstancy of 100

man’s disposition is able to bear.

_Quick._ And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant;

speciously one of them; Mistress Ford, good heart, is

beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot

about her. 105

_Fal._ What tellest thou me of black and blue? I was

beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and I

was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford: but

that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the

action of an old woman, delivered me, the knave constable 110

had set me i’ the stocks, i’ the common stocks, for a

witch.

_Quick._ Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber:

you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content.

Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, 115

what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you

does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed.

_Fal._ Come up into my chamber. [_Exeunt._

NOTES: IV, 5

SCENE V.] SCENE VIII. Pope.

2: _snap_] _nap_ Q3.

17: [Above] Theobald. Enter Falstaff. Rowe. om. Ff Q3.

27: _Master Slender_] Steevens. _my master Slender,_ Ff Q3.

28: _thorough_] F1 Q3. _through_ F2 F3 F4.

39: Sim. _I may..._] Rowe. Fal. _I may..._ Ff Q3. Fal. _You may..._

Collier MS.

40: Host.] Fal. Warburton.

_Conceal them, or_] _Conceal them, and_ Hanmer. _Aye conseil them

or_ Becket conj.

39, 40: _conceal, Conceal_] _reveal, Reveal_ Farmer conj.

42: _master’s_] _master_ Q3.

49: _Ay, sir; like_] Ff Q3. _I tike,_ (Q1 Q2). _Ay, sir Tike,_

Steevens (Farmer conj.). _Ay, sir, tike,_ Collier. See note (IX).

58: SCENE IX. Pope.

61: _with_] _with by_ Collier MS.

71: _Readins_] _Reading_ F4.

80: _grand_] _agrand_ F3 F4.

85: [Exeunt H. and B.] Capell. [Exit F2. om. F1 Q3.

94: [_to say my prayers_] (Q1 Q2) Pope. om. Ff Q3.

95: _repent_] _pray and repent_ Collier MS.

96: SCENE X. Pope.

110: _an old woman_] _a wode woman_ Theobald.

SCENE VI. _The same. Another room in the Garter Inn._

_Enter FENTON and HOST._

_Host._ Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is

heavy: I will give over all.

_Fent._ Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose,

And, as I am a gentleman, I’ll give thee

A hundred pound in gold more than your loss. 5

_Host._ I will hear you, Master Fenton; and I will at

the least keep your counsel.

_Fent._ From time to time I have acquainted you

With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page;

Who mutually hath answer’d my affection, 10

So far forth as herself might be her chooser,

Even to my wish: I have a letter from her

Of such contents as you will wonder at;

The mirth whereof so larded with my matter,

That neither singly can be manifested, 15

Without the show of both; fat Falstaff

Hath a great scene: the image of the jest

I’ll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host.

To-night at Herne’s oak, just ’twixt twelve and one,

Must my sweet Nan present the Fairy Queen; 20

The purpose why, is here: in which disguise,

While other jests are something rank on foot,

Her father hath commanded her to slip

Away with Slender, and with him at Eton

Immediately to marry: she hath consented: 25

Now, sir,

Her mother, even strong against that match,

And firm for Doctor Caius, hath appointed

That he shall likewise shuffle her away,

While other sports are tasking of their minds,

And at the deanery, where a priest attends,

Straight marry her: to this her mother’s plot

She seemingly obedient likewise hath

Made promise to the doctor. Now, thus it rests:

Her father means she shall be all in white; 35

And in that habit, when Slender sees his time

To take her by the hand and bid her go,

She shall go with him: her mother hath intended,

The better to denote her to the doctor,--

For they must all be mask’d and vizarded,-- 40

That quaint in green she shall be loose enrobed,

With ribands pendent, flaring ’bout her head;

And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,

To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token,

The maid hath given consent to go with him. 45

_Host._ Which means she to deceive, father or mother?

_Fent._ Both, my good host, to go along with me:

And here it rests,--that you’ll procure the vicar

To stay for me at church ’twixt twelve and one,

And, in the lawful name of marrying, 50

To give our hearts united ceremony.

_Host._ Well, husband your device; I’ll to the vicar:

Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.

_Fent._ So shall I evermore be bound to thee;

Besides, I’ll make a present recompense. [_Exeunt._ 55

NOTES: IV, 6

SCENE VI.] Ff Q3. SCENE XI. Pope. Theobald continues Sc. 5.

The same] Another room. Capell.

14: _whereof_] _whereof’s_ Pope.

16: _fat Falstaff_] F1 Q3. _wherein fat Falstaff_ (Q1 Q2) Malone.

_fat sir John Falstaffe_ F2 F3 F4. _fat Falstaff, he_ S. Walker

conj. _therein fat Falstaff_ Id. conj.

17: _scene_] _scare_ (Q1 Q2). _share_ S. Verges conj. _scene in it_

Capell.

27: _even_] _ever_ Pope.

39: _denote_] Capell (Steevens conj.). _devote_ Ff Q3.

50: _marrying_] _marriage_ S. Walker conj.

51: _ceremony_] _matrimony_ (Q1 Q2).

ACT V.

SCENE I. _A room in the Garter Inn._

_Enter FALSTAFF and MISTRESS QUICKLY._

_Fal._ Prithee, no more prattling; go. I’ll hold. This

is the third time; I hope good luck lies in odd numbers.

Away! go. They say there is divinity in odd numbers,

either in nativity, chance, or death. Away!

_Quick._ I’ll provide you a chain; and I’ll do what I can 5

to get you a pair of horns.

_Fal._ Away, I say; time wears: hold up your head, and

mince. [_Exit Mrs Quickly._

_Enter FORD._

How now, Master Brook! Master Brook, the matter will

be known to-night, or never. Be you in the Park about 10

midnight, at Herne’s oak, and you shall see wonders.

_Ford._ Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told

me you had appointed?

_Fal._ I went to her, Master Brook, as you see, like a

poor old man: but I came from her, Master Brook, like a 15

poor old woman. That same knave Ford, her husband,

hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, Master Brook,

that ever governed frenzy. I will tell you:--he beat me

grievously, in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of

man, Master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver’s 20

beam; because I know also life is a shuttle. I am in

haste; go along with me: I’ll tell you all, Master Brook.

Since I plucked geese, played truant, and whipped top,

I knew not what ’twas to be beaten till lately. Follow

me: I’ll tell you strange things of this knave Ford, on 25

whom to-night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his

wife into your hand. Follow. Strange things in hand,

Master Brook! Follow. [_Exeunt._

NOTES: V, 1

ACT V. SCENE I.] ACT IV. (continued). SCENE XII. Pope.

SCENE II. _Windsor Park._

_Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER._

_Page._ Come, come; we’ll couch i’ the castle-ditch till

we see the light of our fairies. Remember, son Slender,

my daughter.

_Slen._ Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and we

have a nay-word how to know one another: I come to her 5

in white, and cry, ‘mum;’ she cries ‘budget;’ and by

that we know one another.

_Shal._ That’s good too: but what needs either your

‘mum’ or her ‘budget?’ the white will decipher her well

enough. It hath struck ten o’clock. 10

_Page._ The night is dark; light and spirits will become

it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil

but the devil, and we shall know him by his horns. Let’s

away; follow me. [_Exeunt._

NOTES: V, 2

SCENE II.] ACT V. SCENE I. Pope.

Windsor Park] Pope. [A street. Capell.

3: _daughter_] om. F1 Q3.

SCENE III. _A street leading to the Park._

_Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and DOCTOR CAIUS._

_Mrs Page._ Master doctor, my daughter is in green:

when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with

her to the deanery, and dispatch it quickly. Go before

into the Park: we two must go together.

_Caius._ I know vat I have to do. Adieu. 5

_Mrs Page._ Fare you well, sir. [_Exit Caius._] My husband

will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falstaff

as he will chafe at the doctor’s marrying my daughter: but

’tis no matter; better a little chiding than a great deal of

heart-break. 10

_Mrs Ford._ Where is Nan now and her troop of fairies,

and the Welsh devil Hugh?

_Mrs Page._ They are all couched in a pit hard by

Herne’s oak, with obscured lights; which, at the very instant

of Falstaff’s and our meeting, they will at once 15

display to the night.

_Mrs Ford._ That cannot choose but amaze him.

_Mrs Page._ If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if

he be amazed, he will every way be mocked.

_Mrs Ford._ We’ll betray him finely. 20

_Mrs Page._ Against such lewdsters and their lechery

Those that betray them do no treachery.

_Mrs Ford._ The hour draws on. To the oak, to the

oak! [_Exeunt._

NOTES: V, 3

SCENE III.] SCENE II. Pope.

A street, &c.] [Another street, &c. Capell.]

12: _Hugh_] Capell. _Herne_ Ff Q3. _Evans_ Theobald (Thirlby conj.).

19: _every way_] F1 Q3. om. F2 F3 F4.

SCENE IV. _Windsor Park._

_Enter SIR HUGH EVANS disguised, with others as Fairies._

_Evans._ Trib, trib, fairies; come; and remember your

parts: be pold, I pray you; follow me into the pit; and

when I give the watch-’ords, do as I pid you: come, come;

trib, trib. [_Exeunt._

NOTES: V, 4

SCENE IV.] SCENE II. continued in Pope.

3: _pid_] F1 Q3. _bid_ F2 F3 F4.

SCENE V. _Another part of the Park._

_Enter FALSTAFF disguised as Horne._

_Fal._ The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute

draws on. Now, the hot-blooded gods assist me! Remember,

Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Europa; love set

on thy horns. O powerful love! that, in some respects,

makes a beast a man; in some other, a man a beast. You 5

were also, Jupiter, a swan for the love of Leda. O omnipotent

Love! how near the god drew to the complexion of a

goose!--A fault done first in the form of a beast;--O Jove,

a beastly fault! And then another fault in the semblance

of a fowl;--think on’t, Jove; a foul fault! When gods have 10

hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a

Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i’ the forest. Send

me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss my

tallow?--Who comes here? my doe?

_Enter MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE._

_Mrs Ford._ Sir John! art thou there, my deer? my 15

male deer?

_Fal._ My doe with the black scut! Let the sky rain

potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of Green Sleeves, hail

kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes; let there come a tempest

of provocation, I will shelter me here. 20

_Mrs Ford._ Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.

_Fal._ Divide me like a bribe buck, each a haunch: I

will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow

of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your husbands.

Am I a woodman, ha? Speak I like Herne the hunter? 25

Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution.

As I am a true spirit, welcome! [_Noise within._

_Mrs Page._ Alas, what noise?

_Mrs Ford._ Heaven forgive our sins!

_Fal._ What should this be? 30

_Mrs Ford._} Away, away! [_They run off._

_Mrs Page._}

_Fal._ I think the devil will not have me damned, lest

the oil that’s in me should set hell on fire; he would never

else cross me thus.

_Enter SIR HUGH EVANS, disguised as before; PISTOL, as Hobgoblin;

MISTRESS QUICKLY, ANNE PAGE, and others, as Fairies, with tapers._

_Quick._ Fairies, black, grey, green, and white, 35

You moonshine revellers, and shades of night,

You orphan heirs of fixed destiny,

Attend your office and your quality.

Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy oyes.

_Pist._ Elves, list your names; silence, you airy toys. 40

Cricket, to Windsor chimneys shalt thou leap:

Where fires thou find’st unraked and hearths unswept,

There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry:

Our radiant queen hates sluts and sluttery.

_Fal._ They are fairies; he that speaks to them shall die: 45

I’ll wink and couch: no man their works must eye.

[_Lies down upon his face._

_Evans._ Where’s Bede? Go you, and where you find a maid

That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said,

Raise up the organs of her fantasy;

Sleep she as sound as careless infancy: 50

But those as sleep and think not on their sins,

Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides, and shins.

_Quick._ About, about;

Search Windsor Castle, elves, within and out:

Strew good luck, ouphes, on every sacred room; 55

That it may stand till the perpetual doom,

In state as wholesome as in state ’tis fit,

Worthy the owner, and the owner it.

The several chairs of order look you scour

With juice of balm and every precious flower: 60

Each fair instalment, coat, and several crest,

With loyal blazon, evermore be blest!

And nightly, meadow-fairies, look you sing,

Like to the Garter’s compass, in a ring:

Th’ expressure that it bears, green let it be, 65

More fertile-fresh than all the field to see;

And _Honi soit qui mal y pense_ write

In emerald tufts, flowers purple, blue, and white;

Like sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery,

Buckled below fair knighthood’s bending knee: 70

Fairies use flowers for their charactery.

Away; disperse: but till ’tis one o’clock,

Our dance of custom round about the oak

Of Herne the hunter, let us not forget.

_Evans._ Pray you, lock hand in hand; yourselves in order set; 75

And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be,

To guide our measure round about the tree.--

But, stay; I smell a man of middle-earth.

_Fal._ Heavens defend me from that Welsh fairy, lest he

transform me to a piece of cheese! 80

_Pist._ Vile worm, thou wast o’erlook’d even in thy birth.

_Quick._ With trial-fire touch me his finger-end:

If he be chaste, the flame will back descend,

And turn him to no pain; but if he start,

It is the flesh of a corrupted heart. 85

_Pist._ A trial, come.

_Evans._ Come, will this wood take fire?

[_They burn him with their tapers._

_Fal._ Oh, Oh, Oh!

_Quick._ Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire!

About him, fairies; sing a scornful rhyme;

And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time. 90

SONG.

Fie on sinful fantasy!

Fie on lust and luxury!

Lust is but a bloody fire,

Kindled with unchaste desire,

Fed in heart, whose flames aspire, 95

As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher.

Pinch him, fairies, mutually;

Pinch him for his villany;

Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about,

Till candles and starlight and moonshine be out. 100

_During this song they pinch FALSTAFF. DOCTOR CAIUS comes

one way, and steals away a boy in green; SLENDER another

way, and takes off a boy in white; and FENTON comes, and_

_steals away Mrs ANNE PAGE. A noise of hunting is heard

within. All the Fairies run away. FALSTAFF pulls off his

buck’s head, and rises._

_Enter PAGE, FORD, MISTRESS PAGE and MISTRESS FORD._

_Page._ Nay, do not fly; I think we have watch’d you now:

Will none but Herne the hunter serve your turn?

_Mrs Page._ I pray you, come, hold up the jest no higher.

Now, good Sir John, how like you Windsor wives?

See you these, husband? do not these fair yokes 105

Become the forest better than the town?

_Ford._ Now, sir, who’s a cuckold now? Master Brook,

Falstaff’s a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here are his horns,

Master Brook: and, Master Brook, he hath enjoyed nothing

of Ford’s but his buck-basket, his cudgel, and twenty 110

pounds of money, which must be paid to Master Brook;

his horses are arrested for it, Master Brook.

_Mrs Ford._ Sir John, we have had ill luck; we could

never meet. I will never take you for my love again; but

I will always count you my deer. 115

_Fal._ I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass.

_Ford._ Ay, and an ox too: both the proofs are extant.

_Fal._ And these are not fairies? I was three or four

times in the thought they were not fairies: and yet the

guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of my powers, 120

drove the grossness of the foppery into a received belief, in

despite of the teeth of all rhyme and reason, that they

were fairies. See now how wit may be made a Jack-a-Lent,

when ’tis upon ill employment!

_Evans._ Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your 125

desires, and fairies will not pinse you.

_Ford._ Well said, fairy Hugh.

_Evans._ And leave you your jealousies too, I pray you.

_Ford._ I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou art

able to woo her in good English. 130

_Fal._ Have I laid my brain in the sun, and dried it, that

it wants matter to prevent so gross o’erreaching as this?

Am I ridden with a Welsh goat too? shall I have a coxcomb

of frize? Tis time I were choked with a piece of

toasted cheese. 135

_Evans._ Seese is not good to give putter; your pelly is

all putter.

_Fal._ ‘Seese’ and ’putter’! have I lived to stand at the

taunt of one that makes fritters of English? This is enough

to be the decay of lust and late-walking through the realm. 140

_Mrs Page._ Why, Sir John, do you think, though we

would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the head and

shoulders, and have given ourselves without scruple to hell,

that ever the devil could have made you our delight?

_Ford._ What, a hodge-pudding? a bag of flax? 145

_Mrs Page._ A puffed man?

_Page._ Old, cold, withered, and of intolerable entrails?

_Ford._ And one that is as slanderous as Satan?

_Page._ And as poor as Job?

_Ford._ And as wicked as his wife? 150

_Evans._ And given to fornications, and to taverns, and

sack, and wine, and metheglins, and to drinkings, and

swearings, and starings, pribbles and prabbles?

_Fal._ Well, I am your theme: you have the start of

me; I am dejected; I am not able to answer the Welsh 155

flannel; ignorance itself is a plummet o’er me: use me as

you will.

_Ford._ Marry, sir, we’ll bring you to Windsor, to one

Master Brook, that you have cozened of money, to whom

you should have been a pander: over and above that you 160

have suffered, I think to repay that money will be a biting

affliction.

_Page._ Yet be cheerful, knight: thou shalt eat a posset

to-night at my house; where I will desire thee to laugh at

my wife, that now laughs at thee: tell her Master Slender 165

hath married her daughter.

_Mrs Page._ [_Aside_] Doctors doubt that: if Anne Page

be my daughter, she is, by this, Doctor Caius’ wife.

_Enter SLENDER._

_Slen._ Whoa, ho! ho, father Page!

_Page._ Son, how now! how now, son! have you 170

dispatched?

_Slen._ Dispatched!--I’ll make the best in Gloucestershire

know on’t; would I were hanged, la, else!

_Page._ Of what, son?

_Slen._ I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress Anne 175

Page, and she’s a great lubberly boy. If it had not been

i’ the church, I would have swinged him, or he should have

swinged me. If I did not think it had been Anne Page,

would I might never stir!--and ’tis a postmaster’s boy.

_Page._ Upon my life, then, you took the wrong. 180

_Slen._ What need you tell me that? I think so, when

I took a boy for a girl. If I had been married to him, for

all he was in woman’s apparel, I would not have had him.

_Page._ Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell you

how you should know my daughter by her garments? 185

_Slen._ I went to her in white, and cried ‘mum,’ and she

cried ‘budget,’ as Anne and I had appointed; and yet it

was not Anne, but a postmaster’s boy.

_Mrs Page._ Good George, be not angry: I knew of

your purpose; turned my daughter into green; and, indeed, 190

she is now with the doctor at the deanery, and there

married.

_Enter CAIUS._

_Caius._ Vere is Mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened:

I ha’ married un garçon, a boy; un paysan, by gar, a boy; it

is not Anne Page: by gar, I am cozened. 195

_Mrs Page._ Why, did you take her in green?

_Caius._ Ay, by gar, and ’tis a boy: by gar, I’ll raise all

Windsor. [_Exit._

_Ford._ This is strange. Who hath got the right Anne?

_Page._ My heart misgives me:--here comes Master 200

Fenton.

_Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE._

How now, Master Fenton!

_Anne._ Pardon, good father! good my mother, pardon!

_Page._ Now, mistress, how chance you went not with

Master Slender? 205

_Mrs Page._ Why went you not with master doctor, maid?

_Fent._ You do amaze her: hear the truth of it.

You would have married her most shamefully,

Where there was no proportion held in love.

The truth is, she and I, long since contracted, 210

Are now so sure that nothing can dissolve us.

The offence is holy that she hath committed;

And this deceit loses the name of craft,

Of disobedience, or unduteous title;

Since therein she doth evitate and shun 215

A thousand irreligious cursed hours,

Which forced marriage would have brought upon her.

_Ford._ Stand not amazed; here is no remedy:

In love the heavens themselves do guide the state;

Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate. 220

_Fal._ I am glad, though you have ta’en a special stand

to strike at me, that your arrow hath glanced.

_Page._ Well, what remedy? Fenton, heaven give thee joy!

What cannot be eschew’d must be embraced. 225

_Fal._ When night-dogs run, all sorts of deer are chased.

_Mrs Page._ Well, I will muse no further. Master Fenton,

Heaven give you many, many merry days!

Good husband, let us every one go home,

And laugh this sport o’er by a country fire; 230

Sir John and all.

_Ford._ Let it be so. Sir John,

To Master Brook you yet shall hold your word;

For he to-night shall lie with Mistress Ford. [_Exeunt._

NOTES: V, 5

SCENE V.] SCENE III. Pope.

Enter F...] Enter Sir John with a Buck’s head upon him (Q1 Q2).

22: _bribe_] Theobald. _brib’d_ Ff Q3.

32-34: Printed as verse in Ff Q3.

34: Enter ... tapers] See note (X).

35: Quick.] Qui. Ff Q3.

37: _orphan_] _ouphan_ Theobald (Warburton).

41: _shalt thou leap_] _when thou’st leapt_ Collier MS. _having

leapt_ Singer.

42: _unswept_] _to sweep_ S. Verges conj.

46: [Lies ... face] Rowe.

47: _Bede_] Ff Q3. _Pede_ Theobald. _Pead_ (Q1 Q2).

51: _as_] _that_ F4.

53: Quick.] Qu. F1 Q3 F2. Qui. F3 F4.

57: _state as_] _site as_ Hanmer. _seat as_ S. Walker conj.

58: _and_] _as_ Theobald (Warburton).

63: _nightly, meadow-fairies,_] Capell. _Nightly-meadow-Fairies_

Ff Q3.

66: _More_] _Mote_ F1 Q3.

68: _emerald tufts_] _Emrold-tuffes_ Ff Q3.

_purple_] _purfled_ Warburton.

69: _sapphire, pearl_] Theobald. _saphire-pearle_ Ff Q3.

_and_] _in_ Warburton.

75: _Pray you_] om. Pope.

86: [They burn ... tapers.] Rowe.

90: _time_] _time._ Eva. _It is right, indeed, he is full of

lecheries and iniquity._ Theobald (from Q1 Q2).

91: _sinful_] _simple_ Pope.

93: _a bloody fire_] _i’ th’ blood a fire_] Hanmer.

95: _heart_] _the heart_ Hanmer.

97: _Mutually_] _mutuall_ Q3.

100: The stage direction which follows was inserted by Theobald

from Q1 Q2, with some verbal changes.

101: Enter...] Enter... They lay hold on him. Rowe.

101, 102: Printed as prose in Ff Q3.

105: _these, husband_] _these husband_ F1 Q3. _these husbands_

F2 F3 F4. _these, husbands_ Hanmer.

_yokes_] _yoakes_ F1 Q3. _okes_ F2 F3. _oaks_ F4. _oaks_

[Pointing to the horns. Hanmer.

_fair yokes_] _fairy jokes_ Jackson conj.

111: _paid to Master Brook_] _paid to M. Foord_ (Q1 Q2).

_pay’d too, Master Brook_ Capell.

120: _the sudden_] _with the sudden_ Hanmer.

136: _pelly_] F2 F3 F4. _belly_ F1 Q3.

148: _as slanderous_] _slanderous_ Q3.

152: _sack, and wine_] _sacks, and wines_ Pope.

153: _starings_] F1 Q3. _staring_ F2 F3 F4.

156: _is a plummet o’er me_] _is plummet o’er me_ Q3. _has a plume

o’ me_ Johnson conj. _is a planet o’er me_ Farmer conj.

162: After this line Theobald inserts from Q1 Q2: Mrs Ford. _Nay,

husband, let that go to make amends; Forgive that sum, and so

we’ll all be friends._ Ford. _Well, here’s my hand: all is

forgiven at last._

167, 168: Given to Mrs Ford in Q3. [Aside] Theobald.

169: SCENE VI. Pope.

_Whoa_] _What_ Rowe.

177: _i’ the_] _i’t_ F2.

186: _white_] Pope. _green_ Ff Q3.

190, 196: _green_] Pope. _white_ Ff Q3.

190: _into_] _in_ Q3.

193: SCENE VII. Pope.

194: _un garçon_] Capell. _oon garsoon_ F1 Q3. _one garsoon_

F2 F3 F4.

_un paysan_] Capell. _oon pesant_ Ff Q3.

_boy_] _boe_ F2 F3 F4.

196: _did you_] _did you not_ Rowe.

214: _title_] _guile_ Collier MS.

225: After this line Pope, followed by Theobald, inserts from

Q1 Q2: Evans [aside to Fenton] _I will dance and eat plums

at your wedding._

231: _Let it be so. Sir John,_] _Let it be so (Sir John:)_ Ff Q3.

NOTES.

NOTE I.

I. 1. 41. Master Page is called ‘George’ in three places, II. 1. 135 and

143, and V. 5. 189, but we have left the text of the Folios uncorrected,

as the mistake may have been Shakespeare’s own. It is however possible

that a transcriber or printer may have mistaken ‘Geo.’ for ‘Tho.’

In I. 3. 89, 90, on the other hand, we have not hesitated to correct the

reading of the Folio, substituting ‘Page’ for ‘Ford,’ and ‘Ford’ for

‘Page,’ because, as the early Quartos have the names right, it seems

likely that the blunder was _not_ due to Shakespeare.

NOTE II.

I. 1. 49. Here again, as in line 40, F2 F3 F4 read ‘good,’ F1 Q3 ‘goot,’

but we have not thought it necessary to do more than give a specimen of

such variations. Capell, in order to make Dr Caius’s broken English

consistent with itself, corrects it throughout and substitutes ‘de’ for

‘the,’ ‘vill’ for ‘will,’ and so forth. As a general rule, we have

silently followed the first Folio.

NOTE III.

I. 1. 114. With regard to this and other passages which Pope, Theobald,

Malone, &c. have inserted from the early Quartos, our rule has been to

introduce, between brackets, such, and such only, as seemed to be

absolutely essential to the understanding of the text, taking care to

give in the note all those which we have rejected.

The fact that so many omissions can be supplied from such mutilated

copies as the early Quartos, indicates that there may be many more

omissions for the detection of which we have no clue. The text of the

_Merry Wives_ given in F1 was probably printed from a carelessly written

copy of the author’s MS.

NOTE IV.

I. 3. 95. Perhaps, as in the _Two Gentlemen of Verona_, III. 1. 315, and

other passages, some of which are mentioned by Sidney Walker in his

‘Criticisms,’ Vol. II. p. 13 sqq., this vexed passage may be emended by

supplying a word. We venture to suggest ’the revolt of mine _anger_ is

dangerous.’ The recurrence of the same letters +anger+ in the word

‘dangerous,’ might mislead the printer’s eye and cause the omission.

NOTE V.

II. 1. 5. In the copy of Johnson’s Edition, which belongs to Emmanuel

College, there is a MS. note of Dr Farmer’s referring to Sonnet CXLVII.

in support of the conjecture ‘physician’ for ‘precisian;’ we find there

‘My reason, the physician to my love,’ &c.

NOTE VI.

II. 1. 194, 196. Here again we have followed the early Quartos in

reading ‘Brook’ instead of ‘Broome,’ the name given by Ff Q3. That the

former was the original name is proved by the jest in II. 2. 136, where

the Folios make sheer nonsense.

Mr Halliwell suggests that the following lines, IV. 4. 75, 76,

’Nay I’ll to him again in name of Broome;

He’ll tell me all his purpose: sure he’ll come,’

were intended to rhyme and therefore favour the later reading. But in

this scene there are no rhyming lines except the couplet at the end.

On the whole, it seems likely that the name was altered in the stage

copies at the instance of some person of the name of Brook living at

Windsor, who had sufficient acquaintance with the players, or interest

with their patrons, to get it done.

NOTE VII.

III. 1. 74. 78. Mr Staunton is unquestionably right in supposing that

one part of Evans’s speech is spoken aside to his opponent, and the

other part aloud. It is impossible else to account for the sudden change

of tone. It might have been conjectured that, being a parson, he wished

to appear peacefully minded, and therefore made his offers of

reconciliation aloud and his menaces in an under tone, but Caius’s reply

shews that it was the threat which had been made aloud. Evans’s valour,

it would seem, had already evaporated when he had ‘a great dispositions

to cry’ (III. 1. 20) and, besides, he had just begun to see that he was

being made a laughing-stock. As his former speech (74, 75,) is also

conciliatory, it was probably spoken so as to be heard by Caius only. He

wished to keep up his credit for courage in the eyes of the bystanders.

In the corresponding scene of the first Quartos we have the words ‘Hark

van urd in your ear,’ and the meaning of the text may have been obscured

by some omission in the Folio.

NOTE VIII.

IV. 4. 41. No doubt there is an omission here in the Folio, which may be

partly supplied from the Quarto. But it is probable that Mrs Ford gave a

still fuller explanation of her device and the grounds on which the

disguise was recommended to Falstaff, otherwise Page would not have been

so confident of his falling into the snare.

NOTE IX.

IV. 5. 49. In the edition of 1778 Steevens reads ‘Ay, sir Tike, like’

... but it is clear from Farmer’s note that it should be ‘Ay, sir Tike,’

... and so it is corrected in the later Editions of Steevens. In the

Edition annotated by Fanner, mentioned in note V., we find another

conjecture of his: ‘Ay, sir, if you like,’ ... or it may have been ‘Ay,

sir, an you like,’ for the word preceding ‘you’ has been cut away by the

binder.

NOTE X.

The stage direction of the early Quartos is: _Enter Sir Hugh like a

Satyre, and boyes drest like Fayries, Mistresse Quickly, like the Queene

of Fayries; they sing a song about him and afterward speake._

The Folio enumerates at the commencement of the scene all who take part

in it, including _Anne Page_, _Fairies_, _Quickly_ and _Pistol_, and in

this place has merely _Enter Fairies_. Malone introduced _Anne Page as

the Fairy Queen_, and at the end, _with waxen tapers on their heads_. He

however still assigned the speeches 35-39, 53-74, 82-85, and 88-90 to

_Quickly_. Recent Editors have generally given them to _Anne_, on the

ground that it is proved by IV. 6. 20 and V. 3. 11, 12, that she was to

‘present the Fairy Queen,’ and that the character of the speeches is

unsuitable to Mrs Quickly. It has been argued, too, that the _Qui._ of

the folios, line 35, may be a misprint for _Qu._, i.e. _Queen_. This

however is contradicted by the fact that Mrs Quickly plays the Queen in

the early Quartos, and that the recurrence of _Qui._, line 88, proves

that the printer of the first Folio used either _Qui._ or _Qu._

indifferently as the abbreviation of _Quickly_.

Most likely, in this and other respects the play was altered by its

author, but the stage MSS. were not corrected throughout with sufficient

care. This will account for the mistake about the colours ‘green’ and

‘white’ in the final scene, lines 186, 190, 196.

Or we may suppose Mrs Quickly to have agreed to take Anne’s part in

order to facilitate her escape with Fenton.

* * * * *

* * * *

* * * * *

[Transcriber’s Note:

The following text is reproduced exactly as printed, “taken

_literatim_ from Q1, the edition of 1602”. Spelling and punctuation

are unchanged. In some sections, initial capital letters do not match

the rest of the word: a Roman initial may be used in an italic word,

or the reverse. These mismatched letters are shown in {B}races to

avoid using mid-word _L_owlines.]

A

Pleasant Conceited Comedie,

of

_Syr Iohn Falstaffe,_

and

the merry Wiues of _Windsor_.

_Enter Iustice _Shallow_, Syr _Hugh_, Maister _Page_,

and _Slender_._

_Shal._ Nere talke to me, Ile make a star-chamber matter of it.

The Councell shall know it.

_Page._ Nay good maister _Shallow_ be perswaded by mee.

_Slen._ Nay surely my vncle shall not put it vp so.

_Sir Hu._ Wil you not heare reasons M. _Slenders?_ 5

You should heare reasons.

_Shal._ Tho he be a knight, he shall not thinke to carrie it so away.

M. _Page_ I will not be wronged. For you

Syr, I loue you, and for my cousen,

He comes to looke vpon your daughter. 10

_Pa._ And heres my hand, and if my daughter

Like him so well as I, wee’l quickly haue it a match:

In the meane time let me entreate you to soiourne

Here a while. And on my life Ile vndertake

To make you friends. 15

_Sir Hu._ I pray you M. _Shallowes_ let it be so.

The matter is pud to arbitarments.

The first man is M. _Page_, videlicet M. _Page_.

The second is my selfe, videlicet my selfe.

The third and last man, is mine host of the gartyr. 20

_Enter Syr _Iohn Falstaffe_, _Pistoll_, _Bardolfe_, and _Nim_._

Heere is sir _Iohn_ himselfe now, looke you.

_Fal._ Now M. _Shallow_, youle complaine of me to the Councell, I

heare?

_Shal._ Sir _Iohn_, sir _Iohn_, you haue hurt my keeper, [25]

Kild my dogs, stolne my deere.

_Fal._ But not kissed your keepers daughter.

_Shal._ Well this shall be answered.

_Fal._ He answere it strait. I haue done all this.

This is now answred.

_Shal._ Well, the Councell shall know it. 30

_Fal._ Twere better for you twere knowne in counsell,

Youle be laught at.

_Sir Hugh._ Good vrdes sir _Iohn_, good vrdes.

_Fal._ Good vrdes, good Cabidge.

_Slender_ I brake your head, 35

What matter haue you against mee?

_Slen._ I haue matter in my head against you and your cogging

companions, _Pistoll_ and _Nym._ They carried mee to the Tauerne,

and made mee drunke, and afterward picked my pocket.

_Fal._ What say you to this _Pistoll_, did you picke Maister 40

_Slenders_ purse _Pistoll_?

_Slen._ I by this handkercher did he. Two faire shouell boord

shillings, besides seuen groats in mill sixpences.

_Fal._ What say you to this _Pistoll_?

_Pist._ Sir _Iohn_, and Maister mine, I combat craue 45

Of this same laten bilbo. I do retort the lie

Euen in thy gorge, thy gorge, thy gorge.

_Slen._ By this light it was he then.

_Nym._ Syr my honor is not for many words,

But if you run bace humors of me, 50

I will say mary trap. And there’s the humor of it.

_Fal._ You heare these matters denide gentlemen,

You heare it.

_Enter Mistresse _Foord_, Mistresse _Page_, and her daughter

_Anne_._

_Pa._ No more now,

I thinke it be almost dinner time, 55

For my wife is come to meete vs.

_Fal._ Mistresse _Foord_, I think your name is,

If I mistake not.

_Syr_ Iohn kisses her.

_Mis. Ford._ Your mistake sir is nothing but in the Mistresse.

But my husbands name is _Foord_ sir. 60

_Fal._ I shall desire your more acquaintance.

The like of you good misteris _Page_.

_Mis. Pa._ With all my hart sir _Iohn_.

Come husband will you goe?

Dinner staies for vs. 65

_Pa._ With all my hart, come along Gentlemen.

_Exit all, but _Slender_ and Mistresse _Anne_._

_Anne._ Now forsooth why do you stay me?

What would you with me?

_Slen._ Nay for my owne part, I would litle or nothing with you.

I loue you well, and my vncle can tell you how my liuing stands. 70

And if you can loue me why so. If not, why then happie man be his

dole.

_An._ You say well M. _Slender_.

But first you must giue me leaue to

Be acquainted with your humor, 75

And afterward to loue you if I can.

_Slen._ Why by God, there’s neuer a man in christendome can

desire more. What haue you beares in your Towne mistresse _Anne_,

your dogs barke so?

_An._ I cannot tell M. _Slender_, I think there be. 80

_Slen._ Ha how say you? I warrant your afeard of a Beare let

loose, are you not?

_An._ Yes trust me.

_Slen._ Now that’s meate and drinke to me,

He run yon to a beare, and take her by the mussell, 85

You neuer saw the like.

But indeed I cannot blame you,

For they are maruellous rough things.

_Anne._ Will yo go into dinner M. _Slendor?_

The meate staies for you. 90

_Slen._ No faith not I. I thanke you,

I cannot abide the smell of hot meate

Nere since I broke my shin. Ile tel you how it came

By my troth. A Fencer and I plaid three venies

For a dish of stewd prunes, and I with my ward 95

Defending my head, he hot my shin. Yes faith.

_Enter Maister _Page_._

_Pa._ Come, come Maister _Slender_, dinner staies for you.

_Slen._ I can eate no meate, I thanke you.

_Pa._ You shall not choose I say.

_Slen._ Ile follow you sir, pray leade the way. 100

Nay be God misteris _Anne_, you shall goe first,

I haue more manners then so, I hope.

_An._ Well sir, I will not be troublesome.

_Exit omnes._

NOTES: SCENE I

28: _strait_] _straight_ Halliwell.

85: _yon_] om.

_Enter Sir _Hugh_ and _Simple_, from dinner._ [SC. II.]

_Sir Hu._ Hark you _Simple_, pray you beare this letter to doctor

_Cayus_ house, the French Doctor. He is twell vp along the street, and

enquire of his house for one mistris _Quickly_, his woman, or his try

nurse, and deliuer this Letter to her, it tis about Maister _Slender_.

Looke you, will you do it now? 5

_Sim._ I warrant you sir.

_Sir Hu._ Pray you do, I must not be absent at the grace.

I will goe make an end of my dinner,

There is pepions and cheese behinde.

_Exit omnes._

_Enter Sir _Iohn Falstaffes_ Host of the Garter, _Nym_, _Bardolfe_,

_Pistoll_, and the Boy._ [SC. III.]

_Fal._ Mine Host of the Garter.

_Host._ What ses my bully Rooke?

Speake schollerly and wisely.

_Fal._ Mine Host, I must turne away some of my followers.

_Host._ Discard bully, _Hercules_ cassire. 5

Let them wag, trot, trot.

_Fal._ I sit at ten pound a weeke.

_Host._ Thou art an Emperor _Cæsar_, _Phesser_ and _Kesar_ bully.

Ile entertaine _Bardolfe_. He shall tap, he shall draw.

Said I well, bully _Hector_? 10

_Fal._ Do good mine Host.

_Host._ I haue spoke. Let him follow. _Bardolfe_

Let me see thee froth, and lyme. I am at

A word. Follow, follow.

_Exit Host._

_Fal._ Do _Bardolfe_, a Tapster is a good trade, 15

An old cloake will make a new Ierkin,

A withered seruingman, a fresh Tapster:

Follow him _Bardolfe_.

_Bar._ I will sir, Ile warrant you Ile make a good shift to liue.

_Exit Bardolfe._

_Pis._ O bace gongarian wight, wilt thou the spicket willd? 20

_Nym._ His minde is not heroick. And theres the humor of it.

_Fal._ Well my Laddes, I am almost out at the heeles.

_Pis._ Why then let cybes insue.

_Nym._ I thanke thee for that humor.

_Fal._ Well I am glad I am so rid of this tinder Boy. 25

His stealth was too open, his filching was like

An vnskilfull singer, he kept not time.

_Nym._ The good humour is to steale at a minutes rest.

_Pis._ Tis so indeed _Nym_, thou hast hit it right.

_Fal._ Wel, afore God, I must cheat, I must conycatch. 30

Which of you knowes _Foord_ of this Towne?

_Pis._ I ken the wight, he is of substance good.

_Fal._ Well my honest Lads, Ile tell you what

I am about.

_Pis._ Two yards and more.

_Fal._ No gibes now _Pistoll:_ indeed I am two yards

In the wast, but now I am about no wast:

Briefly, I am about thrift you rogues you,

I do intend to make loue to Foords wife,

I espie entertainment in her. She carues, she 40

Discourses. She giues the lyre of inuitation,

And euery part to be constured rightly is, I am

Syr _Iohn Falstaffes_.

_Pis._ Hee hath studied her well, out of honestie

Into English. 45

_Fal._ Now the report goes, she hath all the rule

Of her husbands purse. She hath legians of angels.

_Pis._ As many diuels attend her.

And to her boy say I.

_Fal._ Heree’s a Letter to her. Heeres another to misteris _Page_. 50

Who euen now gaue me good eies too, examined my exteriors with

such a greedy intention, with the beames of her beautie, that it seemed

as she would a scorged me vp like a burning glasse. Here is another

Letter to her, shee beares the purse too. They shall be Excheckers

to me, and Ile be cheaters to them both. They shall be my East 55

and West Indies, and Ile trade to them both. Heere beare thou this

Letter to mistresse _Foord_. And thou this to mistresse _Page_. Weele

thriue Lads, we will thriue.

_Pist._ Shall I sir Panderowes of _Troy_ become?

And by my sword were steele. 60

Then Lucifer take all.

_Nym._ Here, take your humor Letter againe,

For my part, I will keepe the hauior

Of reputation. And theres the humor of it.

_Fal._ Here sirrha beare me these Letters titely, 65

Saile like my pinnice to the golden shores:

Hence slaues, avant. Vanish like hailstones, goe.

_Falstaffe_ will learne the humor of this age,

French thrift you rogue, my selfe and scirted Page.

_Exit Falstaffe, and the Boy._

_Pis._ And art thou gone? Teaster Ile haue in pouch 70

When thou shalt want, bace Phrygian Turke,

_Nym._ I haue operations in my head, which are humors of

reuenge.

_Pis._ Wilt thou reuenge?

_Nym._ By _Welkin_ and her Fairies. 75

_Pis._ By wit, or sword?

_Nym._ With both the humors I will disclose this loue to _Page_. He

poses him with Iallowes,

And theres the humor of it.

_Pis._ And I to Foord will likewise tell 80

How _Falstaffe_ varlot vilde,

Would haue her loue, his doue would proue,

And eke his bed defile.

_Nym._ Let vs about it then.

_Pis._ He second thee: sir Corporall _Nym_ troope on. 85

_Exit omnes._

NOTES: SCENE III

60: _were_] _we are._

_Enter Mistresse _Quickly_, and _Simple_._ [SC. IV.]

_Quic._ M. _Slender_ is your masters name say you?

_Sim._ I indeed that is his name.

_Quic._ How say you? I take it hee is somewhat a weakly man:

And he has as it were a whay coloured beard.

_Sim._ Indeed my maisters beard is kane colored. 5

_Quic._ Kane colour, you say well.

And is this Letter from sir _You_, about misteris _An_,

Is it not?

_Sim._ I indeed is it.

_Quic._ So: and your Maister would haue me as it twere to speak 10

to misteris _Anne_ concerning him: I promise you my M. hath a great

affectoned mind to mistresse _Anne_ himselfe. And if he should know

that I should as they say, giue my verdit for any one but himselfe, I

should heare of it throughly: For I tell you friend, he puts all his

priuities in me. 15

_Sim._ I by my faith you are a good staie to him.

_Quic._ Am I? I and you knew all yowd say so:

Washing, brewing, baking, al goes through my hands,

Or else it would be but a woe house.

_Sim._ I beshrow me, one woman to do all this, 20

Is very painfull.

_Quic._ Are you auised of that? I, I warrant you,

Take all, and paie all, all goe through my hands,

And he is such a honest man, and he should chance

To come home and finde a man here, we should 25

Haue no who with him. He is a parlowes man.

_Sim._ Is he indeed?

_Quic._ Is he, quoth you? God keepe him abroad:

Lord blesse me, who knocks there?

For Gods sake step into the Counting-house, 30

While I go see whose at doore.

_He steps into the Counting-house._

What _Iohn Rugby_, _Iohn_,

Are you come home sir alreadie?

_And she opens the doore._

_Doct._ _I_ begar _I_ be forget mine oyntment,

Where be _Iohn Rugby?_ 35

_Enter _Iohn_._

_Rug._ Here sir, do you call?

_Doct._ _I_ you be _Iohn Rugbie_, and you be _Iack Rugby_

Goe run vp met your heeles, and bring away

De oyntment in the vindoe present:

Make haste _Iohn Rugbie_. O _I_ am almost forget 40

My simples in a boxe in de Counting-house:

O {I}eshu vat be here, a deuella, a deuella?

My Rapier _Iohn Rugby_, Vat be you, vat make

You in my Counting-house?

_I_ tinck you be a teefe. 45

_Quic._ {I}eshu blesse me, we are all vndone.

_Sim._ O Lord sir no: _I_ am no theefe,

_I_ am a Seruingman:

My name is _Iohn Simple_, _I_ brought a Letter sir

From my M. _Slender_, about misteris _Anne Page_ 50

Sir: {I}ndeed that is my comming.

_Doct._ _I_ begar is dat all? _Iohn Rugby_ giue a ma pen

An {I}nck: tarche vn pettit tarche a little.

_The Doctor writes._

_Sim._ O God what a furious man is this?

_Quic._ Nay it is well he is no worse: 55

_I_ am glad he is so quiet.

_Doc._ Here giue that same to sir _Hu_, it ber ve chalenge

Begar tell him _I_ will cut his nase, will you?

_Sim._ _I_ sir, {I}le tell him so.

_Doc._ Dat be vell, my rapier _Iohn Rugby_, follow may. 60

_Exit Doctor._

_Quic._ Well my friend, _I_ cannot tarry, tell your

Maister {I}le doo what I can for him,

And so farewell.

_Sim._ Marry will I, I am glad I am got hence.

_Exit omnes._

NOTES: SCENE IV

24: _and_] _if._

26: _who_] _hoe._

31: _doore_] _the doore._

_Enter Mistresse _Page_, reading of a Letter._ [SC. V.]

_Mis. Pa._ Mistresse Page _I_ loue you. Ask me no reason,

Because theyr impossible to alledge. Your faire,

And _I_ am fat. You loue sack, so do _I_:

As _I_ am sure _I_ haue no mind but to loue,

So _I_ know you haue no hart but to grant 5

A souldier doth not vse many words where a knowes

A letter may serue for a sentence. _I_ loue you,

And so _I_ leaue you.

_Yours Syr Iohn Falstaffe._

Now Ieshu blesse me, am I methomorphised? 10

I think I knowe not my selfe. Why what a Gods name doth this man

see in me, that thus he shootes at my honestie? Well but that I

knowe my owne heart, I should scarcely perswade my selfe I were

hand. Why what an vnreasonable woolsack is this. He was neuer

twice in my companie, and if then I thought I gaue such assurance 15

with my eies, Ide pull them out, they should neuer see more holie

daies. Well, I shall trust fat men the worse while I liue for his sake.

O God, that I knew how to be reuenged of him. But in good time,

heeres mistresse _Foord_.

_Enter Mistresse _Foord_._

_Mis. For._ How now mistris _Page_, are you are reading Loue 20

letters? How do you woman?

_Mis. Pa._ O woman I am I know not what:

In loue vp to the hard eares. I was neuer in such a case in my life.

_Mis. Ford._ In loue, now in the name of God with whom?

_Mis. Pa._ With one that sweares he loues me, 25

And I must not choose but do the like againe:

I prethie looke on that Letter.

_Mis. For._ He match your letter iust with the like,

Line for line, word for word. Onely the name

Of misteris _Page_, and misteris _Foord_ disagrees: 30

Do me the kindnes to looke vpon this.

_Mis. Pa._ Why this is right my letter.

O most notorious villaine!

Why what a bladder of iniquity is this?

Lets be reuenged what so ere we do. 35

_Mis. For._ Reuenged, if we liue weel be reuenged.

O Lord if my husband should see this Letter,

Ifaith this would euen giue edge to his Iealousie.

_Enter Ford, Page, Pistoll, and Nym._

_Mis. Pa._ See where our husbands are,

Mine’s as far from Iealousie, 40

As I am from wronging him.

_Pis._ _Ford_ the words I speake are forst:

Beware, take heed, for _Falstaffe_ loues thy wife:

When _Pistoll_ lies do this.

_Ford._ Why sir my wife is not young. 45

_Pis._ He wooes both yong and old, both rich and poore,

None comes amis. I say he loues thy wife:

Faire warning did I giue, take heed,

For sommer comes, and cuckoo birds appeare;

_Page_ belieue him what he ses. Away sir Corporal _Nym_. 50

_Exit Pistoll:_

_Nym._ Syr the humor of it is, he loues your wife,

I should ha borne the humor Letter to her:

I speake and I auouch tis true: My name is _Nym._

Farwell, I loue not the humor of bread and cheese:

And theres the humor of it. 55

_Exit Nym._

_Pa._ The humor of it, quoth you:

Heres a fellow frites humor out of his wits.

_Mis. Pa._ How now sweet hart, how dost thou?

_Enter Mistresse Quickly._

_Pa._ How now man? how do you mistris _Ford_?

_Mis. For._ Well I thanke you good M. _Page_. 60

How now husband, how chaunce thou art so melancholy?

_Ford._ Melancholy, I am not melancholy.

Goe get you in, goe.

_Mis. For._ God saue me, see who yonder is:

Weele set her a worke in this businesse. 65

_Mis Pa._ O sheele serue excellent.

Now you come to see my daughter _An_ I am sure.

_Quic._ I forsooth that is my comming.

_Mis. Pa._ Come go in with me. Come Mis. _Ford_.

_Mis. For._ I follow you Mistresse _Page_. 70

_Exit Mistresse _Ford_, Mis. _Page_, and _Quickly_._

_For._ M. _Page_ did you heare what these fellows said?

_Pa._ Yes M. _Ford_, what of that sir?

_For._ Do you thinke it is true that they told vs?

_Pa._ No by my troth do I not,

I rather take them to be paltry lying knaues, 75

Such as rather speakes of enuie,

Then of any certaine they haue

Of any thing. And for the knight, perhaps

He hath spoke merrily, as the fashion of fat men

Are: But should he loue my wife, 80

Ifaith Ide turne her loose to him:

And what he got more of her,

Then ill lookes, and shrowd words,

Why let me beare the penaltie of it.

_For._ Nay I do not mistrust my wife, 85

Yet Ide be loth to turne them together,

A man may be too confident.

_Enter Host and Shallow._

_Pa._ Here comes my ramping host of the garter,

Ther’s either licker in his hed, or mony in his purse,

That he lookes so merily. Now mine Host? 90

_Host._ God blesse you my bully rookes, God blesse you.

Caualera Iustice I say.

_Shal._ At hand mine host, at hand. M. _Ford_. god den to you

God den and twentie good M. _Page_.

I tell you sir we haue sport in hand. 95

_Host._ Tell him cauelira Iustice: tell him bully rooke.

_Ford._ Mine Host a the garter:

_Host._ What ses my bully rooke?

_Ford._ A word with you sir.

_Ford and the Host talkes._

_Shal._ Harke you sir, Ile tell you what the sport shall be 100

Doctor Cayus and sir _Hu_ are to fight,

My merrie Host hath had the measuring

Of their weapons, and hath

Appointed them contrary places. Harke in your eare:

_Host:_ Hast thou no shute against my knight, 105

My guest, my cauellira.

_For._ None I protest: But tell him my name

Is _Rrooke_, onlie for a Iest.

_Host:_ Thy hand bully: thou shalt

Haue egres and regres, and thy 110

Name shall be _Brooke:_ Sed I well bully Hector?

_Shal._ I tell you what M. _Page_, I beleeue

The Doctor is no Iester, heele laie it on:

For tho we be Iustices and Doctors,

And Church men, yet we are 115

The sonnes of women M. _Page:_

_Pa:_ True maister _Shallow:_

_Shal:_ It will be found so maister _Page:_

_Pa._ Maister _Shallow_, you your selfe

Haue bene a great fighter, 120

Though now a man of peace:

_Shal:_ M. _{P}age_, I haue seene the day that yong

Tall fellowes with their stroke and their passado,

I haue made them trudge Maister _Page_,

A tis the hart, the hart doth all: I 125

Haue seene the day, with my two hand sword

I would a made you foure tall Fencers

Scipped like Rattes.

_Host._ Here boyes, shall we wag, shall we wag?

_Shal._ Ha with you mine host.

_Exit Host and Shallow._

_Pa._ Come M. _Ford_, shall we to dinner?

I know these fellowes sticks in your minde.

_For._ No in good sadnesse, not in mine:

Yet for all this Ile try it further,

I will not leaue it so: 135

Come M. _{P}age_, shall we to dinner?

_Page._ With all my hart sir, {I}le follow you.

_Exit omnes._

NOTES: SCENE V

5: _grant_] _grant._ Halliwell.

15: _twice_] _but twice._

31: _kindnes_] _kindness_ Halliwell.

61: _melancholy?_] _melancholy._ Halliwell.

93: _to you_] _t’ e._

108: _Rrooke_] _Brooke._

_Enter Syr Iohn, and Pistoll._ [SC. VI.]

_Fal._ {I}le not lend thee a peny.

_Pis._ _I_ will retort the sum in equipage.

_Fal._ Not a pennie: _I_ haue beene content you shuld lay my countenance

to pawne: _I_ haue grated vpon my good friends for 3 repriues,

for you and your Coach-follow _Nym_, else you might a looked thorow 5

a grate like a geminy of babones. I am damned in hell for swearing

to Gentlemen your good souldiers and tall fellowes: and when mistrisse

_Briget_ lost the handle of her Fan, I tooked on my ho- thou

hadst it not.

_Pis._ Didst thou not share? hadst thou not fifteene pence? 10

_Fal._ Reason you rogue, reason.

Doest thou thinke {I}le indanger my soule gratis?

In briefe, hang no more about mee, I am no gybit for you. A short

knife and a throng to your manner of pickt hatch, goe. Youle not

beare a Letter for me you rogue you: you stand vpon your honor. 15

Why thou vnconfinable basenesse thou, tis as much as I can do to

keepe the termes of my honor precise. I, I my selfe sometimes, leauing

the feare of God on the left hand, am faine to shuffel, to filch and

to lurch. And yet you stand vpon your honor, you rogue. You,

you. 20

_Pis._ I do recant: what woulst thou more of man?

_Fal._ Well, gotoo, away, no more.

_Enter Mistresse Quickly._

_Quic._ Good you god den sir.

_Fal._ Good den faire wife.

_Quic._ Not so ant like your worship. 25

_Fal._ Faire mayd then.

_Quic._ That I am Ile be sworne, as my mother was

The first houre I was borne.

Sir I would speake with you in priuate.

_Fal._ Say on I prethy, heeres none but my owne houshold. 30

_Quic._ Are they so? Now God blesse them, and make them his

seruants.

Syr I come from Mistresse _Foord_.

_Fal._ So from Mistresse _Foord_. Goe on.

_Quic._ I sir, she hath sent me to you to let you 35

Vnderstand she hath receiued your Letter,

And let me tell you, she is one stands vpon her credit.

_Fal._ Well, come Misteris _Ford_, Misteris _Ford_.

_Quic._ I sir, and as they say, she is not the first

Hath bene led in a fooles paradice. 40

_Fal._ Nay prethy be briefe my good she _Mercury_.

_Quic._ Mary sir, sheed haue you meet her betweene eight and nine.

_Fal._ So betweene eight and nine:

_Qu._ I forsooth, for then her husband goes a birding, 45

_Fal._ Well commend me to thy mistris, tel her

I will not faile her: Boy giue her my purse.

_Quic._ Nay sir I haue another arant to do to you

From misteris _Page:_

_Fal._ From misteris _Page_? I prethy what of her? 50

_Qu._ By my troth _I_ think you work by {I}nchantments,

Els they could neuer loue you as they doo:

_Fal._ Not _I_, _I_ assure thee; setting the attraction of my

Good parts aside, _I_ vse no other inchantments:

_Quic._ Well sir, she loues you extreemly: 55

And let me tell you, shees one that feares God,

And her husband giues her leaue to do all:

For he is not halfe so iealousie as M. _Ford_ is.

_Fal._ But harke thee, hath misteris _Page_ and mistris _Ford_,

Acquainted each other how dearly they loue me? 60

_Quic._ O God no sir: there were a iest indeed.

_Fal._ Well farwel, commend me to misteris _Ford_,

I will not faile her say.

_Quic._ God be with your worship.

_Exit Mistresse Quickly._

_Enter Bardolfe._

_Bar._ Sir, heer’s a Gentleman, 65

One M. _Brooke_, would speak with you,

He hath sent you a cup of sacke.

_Fal._ M. _Brooke_, hees welcome: bid him come vp,

Such _Brookes_ are alwaies welcome to me:

A _Iack_, will thy old bodie yet hold out? 70

Wilt thou after the expence of so much mony

Be now a gainer? Good bodie _I_ thanke thee,

And {I}le make more of thee then _I_ ha done:

Ha, ha, misteris _Ford_, and misteris _Page_, haue

_I_ caught you a the hip? go too. 75

_Enter _Foord_ disguised like _Brooke_._

_For._ God saue you sir.

_Fal._ And you too, would you speak with me?

_For._ Mary would _I_ sir, _I_ am somewhat bolde to trouble you,

My name is _Brooke_.

_Fal._ Good M. _Brooke_ your verie welcome. 80

_For._ {I}faith sir _I_ am a gentleman and a traueller,

That haue seen somewhat. And _I_ haue often heard

That if mony goes before, all waies lie open.

_Fal._ Mony is a good souldier sir, and will on.

_For._ {I}faith sir, and _I_ haue a bag here, 85

Would you wood helpe me to beare it.

_Fal._ O Lord, would _I_ could tell how to deserue

To be your porter.

_For._ That may you easily sir _Iohn:_ I haue an earnest

Sute to you. But good sir _Iohn_ when I haue 90

Told you my griefe, cast one eie of your owne

Estate, since your selfe knew what tis to be

Such an offender.

_Fal._ Verie well sir, proceed.

_For._ Sir I am deeply in loue with one _Fords_ wife 95

Of this Towne. Now sir _Iohn_ you are a gentleman

Of good discoursing, well beloued among Ladies,

A man of such parts that might win 20. such as she.

_Fal._ O good sir.

_For._ Nay beleeue it sir _Iohn_, for tis time. Now my loue 100

Is so grounded vpon her, that without her loue

I shall hardly liue.

_Fal._ Haue you importuned her by any means?

_Ford._ No neuer sir.

_Fal._ Of what qualitie is your loue then? 105

_Ford._ Ifaith sir, like a faire house set vpon

Another mans foundation.

_Fal._ And to what end haue you vnfolded this to me?

_For._ O sir, when I haue told you that, I told you all:

For she sir stands so pure in the firme state 110

Of her honestie, that she is too bright to be looked

Against: Now could I come against her

With some detection, I should sooner perswade her

From her marriage vow, and a hundred such nice

Tearmes that sheele stand vpon. 115

_Fal._ Why would it apply well to the veruensie of your affection,

That another should possesse what you would enjoy?

Meethinks you prescribe verie preposterously

To your selfe.

_For._ No sir, for by that meanes should I be certaine of that 120

which I now misdoubt.

_Fal._ Wel M. _Brooke_, Ile first make bold with your mony,

Next, giue me your hand. Lastly, you shall

And you will, enioy _Fords_ wife.

_Foord._ O good sir. 125

_Fal._ M. _Brooke_, I say you shall.

_For._ Want no mony syr _Iohn_, you shall want none.

_Fal._ Want no misteris _Ford_ M. _Brooke_,

You shall want none. Euen as you came to me,

Her spokes mate, her go between parted from me: 130

I may tell you M. _Brooke_, I am to meet her

Betweene 8 and 9, for at that time the Iealous

Cuckally knaue her husband wil be from home,

Come to me soone at night, you shall know how

I speed M. _Brooke_. 135

_Ford._ Sir do you know _Ford?_

_Fal._ Hang him poore cuckally knaue, I know him not,

And yet I wrong him to call him poore. For they

Say the cuckally knaue hath legions of angels,

For the which his wife seemes to me well fauored, 140

And Ile vse her as the key of the cuckally knaues

Coffer, and there’s my randeuowes.

_Foord._ Meethinkes sir it were good that you knew

_Ford_, that you might shun him.

_Fal._ Hang him cuckally knaue, Ile stare him 145

Out of his wits, Ile keepe him in awe

With this my cudgell: It shall hang like a meator

Ore the wittolly knaues head, M. _Brooke_ thou shalt

See I will predominate ore the peasant,

And thou shalt lie with his wife. M. _Brooke_ 150

Thou shalt know him for knaue and cuckold,

Come to me soone at night.

_Exit Falstaffe._

_Ford._ What a damned epicurian is this?

My wife hath sent for him, the plot is laid:

_Page_ is an Asse, a foole. A secure Asse, 155

Ile sooner trust an Irishman with my

Aquauita bottle, Sir _Hu_ our parson with my cheese,

A theefe to walke my ambling gelding, then my wife

With her selfe: then she plots, then she ruminates,

And what she thinkes in her hart she may effect, 160

Sheele breake her hart but she will effect it.

God be praised, God be praised for my iealousie:

Well Ile go preuent him, the time drawes on,

Better an houre too soone, then a minit too late,

Gods my life cuckold, cuckold. 165

_Exit Ford._

NOTES: SCENE VI

7: _mistrisse_] _mistresse_ Halliwell.

8: _ho-_] _honesty._

13: _A_] _I_ Halliwell.

37: _let me_] _I._

_stands vpon_] _that stands on._

52: _they could_] _could they._

58: _iealousie_] _iealous._

72: _bodie_] _booty._

75: _a the_] _ath the._

124: _And_] _If._

_Enter the Doctor and his man._ [SC. VII.]

_Doc._ _Iohn Rugbie_ goe looke met your eies ore de stall,

And spie and you can see de parson.

_Rug._ Sir I cannot tell whether he be there or no,

But I see a great many comming.

_Doc._ Bully moy, mon rapier _Iohn Rugabie_, begar de 5

Hearing be not so dead as I shall make him.

_Enter Shallow, Page, my Host, and Slender._

_Pa._ God saue you M. Doctor _Cayus_.

_Shal._ How do you M. Doctor?

_Ho._ God blesse thee my bully doctor, God blesse thee,

_Doct._ Vat be all you, Van to tree come for, a? 10

_Host._ Bully to see thee fight, to see thee foine, to see thee

trauerse, to see thee here, to see thee there, to see thee passe the

punto. The stock, the reuerse, the distance: the montnce is a dead

my francoyes? Is a dead my Ethiopian? Ha, what ses my gallon? my

escuolapis? Is a dead bullies taile, is a dead? 15

_Doct._ Begar de preest be a coward Iack knaue,

He dare not shew his face.

_Host._ Thou art a castallian king vrinall.

_Hector_ of _Greece_ my boy.

_Sha._ He hath showne himselfe the wiser man, M. Doctor: 20

Sir _Hugh_ is a parson, and you a Phisition. You must

Goe with me, M. Doctor.

_Host._ Pardon bully Iustice. A word monsire mockwater.

_Doct._ Mockwater, vat me dat?

_Host._ That is in our English tongue, Vallor bully, vallor. 25

_Doct._ Begar den I haue as mockuater as de Inglish Iack dog,

knaue.

_Host._ He will claperclaw thee titely bully.

_Doct._ Claperclawe, vat be dat?

_Host._ That is, he will make thee amends. 30

_Doct._ Begar I do looke he shal claperclaw me den,

And Ile prouoke him to do it, or let him wag:

And moreouer bully, but M. _Page_ and M. _Shallow_,

And eke cauellira _Slender_, go you all ouer the fields to Frogmore?

_Pa._ Sir _Hugh_ is there, is hee? 35

_Host._ He is there: go see what humor hee is in,

Ile bring the Doctor about by the fields:

Will it do well?

_Shal._ We wil do it my host. Farewel M. Doctor.

_Exit all but the Host and Doctor._

_Doc._ Begar I will kill de cowardly Iack preest, 40

He is make a foole of moy.

_Host._ Let him die, but first sheth your impatience,

Throw cold water on your collor, com go with me

Through the fields to _Frogmore_, and Ile bring thee

Where mistris _An Page_ is a feasting at a farm house, 45

And thou shalt wear hir cried game: sed I wel bully.

_Doct._ Begar excellent vel: and if you speake pour moy, I shall

procure you de gesse of all de gentlemen mon patinces. I begar _I_

sall.

_Host._ For the which Ile be thy aduersary 50

To misteris _An Page:_ sed _I_ well?

_Doct._ I begar excellent.

_Host._ Let vs wag then.

_Doct._ Alon, alon, alon.

_Exit omnes._

NOTES: SCENE VII

24: _me_] _be._

45: _a feasting_] _feasting._

46: _bully_] _bully._ Halliwell.

48: _gesse_] _guests._

_patinces_] _patients._

_Enter syr Hugh and Simple._ [SC. VIII.]

_Sir Hu._ I pray you do so much as see if you can espie

Doctor _Cayus_ comming, and giue me intelligence,

Or bring me vrde if you please now.

_Sim._ _I_ will sir.

_Sir Hu._ Ieshu ples mee, how my hart trobes, and trobes, 5

And then she made him bedes of Roses,

And a thousand fragrant poses,

To shallow riueres. Now so kad vdge me, my hart

Swelles more and more. Mee thinks _I_ can cry

Verie well. There dwelt a man in _Babylon_, 10

To shallow riuers and to falles,

Melodious birds sing Madrigalles.

_Sim._ Sir here is M. _Page_, and M. _Shallow_,

Comming hither as fast as they can.

_Sir Hu._ Then it is verie necessary _I_ put vp my sword, 15

Pray give me my cowne too, marke you.

_Enter Page, shallow, and Slender._

_Pa._ God saue you sir _Hugh_.

_Shal._ God saue you M. parson.

_Sir Hu._ God plesse you all from his mercies sake now.

_Pa._ What the word and the sword, doth that agree well? 20

_Sir Hu._ There is reasons and causes in all things,

_I_ warrant you now.

_Pa._ Well sir _Hugh_, we are come to crane

Your helpe and furtherance in a matter.

_Sir Hu._ What is _I_ pray you? 25

_Pa._ {I}faith tis this sir _Hugh_. There is an auncient friend of

ours, a man of verie good sort, so at oddes with one patience, that _I_

am sure you would hartily grieue to see him. Now sir _Hugh_, you are

a scholler well red, and verie perswasiue, we would intreate you to see

if you could intreat him to patience. 30

_Sir Hu._ _I_ pray you who is it? Let vs know that.

_Pa._ I am shure you know him, tis Doctor _Cayus_.

_Sir Hu._ _I_ had as leeue you should tel me of a messe of poredge,

He is an arant lowsie beggerly knaue: 35

And he is a coward beside.

_Pa._ Why Ile laie my life tis the man

That he should fight withall.

_Enter Doctor and the Host, they offer to fight._

_Shal._ Keep them asunder, take away their weapons.

_Host._ Disarme, let them question. 40

_Shal._ Let them keepe their limbs hole, and hack our English.

_Doct._ Harke van vrd in your eare. You be vn daga

And de {I}ack, coward preest.

_Sir Hu._ Harke you, let vs not be laughing stockes to other mens

humors. By Ieshu _I_ will knock your vrinalls about your knaues

cock-comes, for missing your meetings and appointments. 45

_Doct._ O Ieshu mine host of de garter, _Iohn Rogoby_,

Haue _I_ not met him at de place he make apoint,

Haue I not?

_Sir Hu._ So kad vdge me, this is the pointment place, 50

Witnes by my Host of the garter.

_Host._ Peace I say gawle and gawlia, French and Wealch,

Soule curer and bodie curer.

_Doc._ This be verie braue, excellent.

_Host._ Peace _I_ say, heare mine host of the garter, 55

Am _I_ wise? am I polliticke? am _I_ Matchauil?

Shal _I_ lose my doctor? No, he giues me the motions

And the potions. Shal _I_ lose my parson, my sir _Hu_?

No, he giues me the prouerbes, and the nouerbes:

Giue me thy hand terestiall, 60

So giue me thy hand celestiall:

So boyes of art I haue deceiued you both,

I haue directed you to wrong places,

Your hearts are mightie, you skins are whole,

_Bardolfe_ laie their swords to pawne. Follow me lads 65

Of peace, follow me. Ha, ra, la. Follow.

_Exit Host._

_Shal._ Afore God a mad host, come let vs goe.

_Doc._ _I_ begar haue you mocka may thus?

I will be euen met you my Iack Host.

_Sir Hugh._ Giue me your hand doctor _Cayus_, 70

We be all friends:

But for mine hosts foolish knauery, let me alone.

_Doc._ _I_ dat be veil begar _I_ be friends.

(_Exit omnes._

_Enter M. Foord._ [SC. IX.]

_For._ The time drawes on he shuld come to my house,

Well wife, you had best worke closely,

Or _I_ am like to goe beyond your cunning:

I now wil seeke my guesse that comes to dinner,

And in good time see where they all are come. 5

_Enter Shallow, Page, host, Slender, Doctor, and sir Hugh._

By my faith a knot well met: your welcome all.

_Pa._ I thanke you good M. _Ford_.

_For._ Welcome good M. _Page_,

I would your daughter were here.

_Pa._ I thank you sir, she is very well at home. 10

_Slen._ Father _Page_ _I_ hope I haue your consent

For Misteris _Anne?_

_Pa._ You haue sonne _Slender_, but my wife here,

Is altogether for maister Doctor.

_Doc._ Begar I tanck her hartily. 15

_Host._ But what say you to yong Maister _Fenton?_

He capers, he daunces, he writes verses, he smelles

All April and May: he wil cary it, he wil carit,

Tis in his betmes he wil carite.

_Pa._ My host not with my consent: the gentleman is 20

Wilde, he knowes too much: If he take her,

Let him take her simply: for my goods goes

With my liking, and my liking goes not that way.

_For._ Well, I pray go home with me to dinner:

Besides your cheare Ile shew you wonders: Ile 25

Shew you a monster. You shall go with me

M. _Page_, and so shall you sir _{H}ugh_, and you Maister Doctor.

_{S. H}u._ If there be one in the company, I shal make two:

_Doc._ And dere be ven to, I sail make de tird:

_{S}ir {H}u_, In your teeth for shame,

_Shal._ wel, wel, God be with you, we shall haue the fairer

Wooing at Maister _{P}ages:_

_Exit Shallow and Slender._

_Host._ Ile to my honest knight sir _Iohn Falstaffe_,

And drinke Canary with him.

_Exit host._

For. I may chance to make him drinke in pipe wine, 35

First come gentlemen.

_Exit omnes._

_Enter Mistresse Ford, with two of her men, and a great

buck busket._ [SC. X.]

_Mis. For._ Sirrha, if your M. aske you whither

You carry this basket, say to the Launderers,

I hope you know how to bestow it?

_Ser._ I warrant you misteris. _Exit seruant._

_Mis. For._ Go get you in. Well sir _Iohn_, 5

I beleeue I shall serue you such a trick,

You shall haue little mind to come againe.

_Enter Sir Iohn._

_Fal._ Haue I caught my heauenlie Iewel?

Why now let me die. _I_ haue liued long inough.

This is the happie houre _I_ haue desired to see, 10

Now shall I sin in my wish,

I would thy husband were dead.

_Mis. For._ Why how then sir _Iohn?_

_Fal._ By the Lord, Ide make thee my Ladie.

_Mis. For._ Alas sir _Iohn_, _I_ should be a verie simple Ladie. 15

_Fal._ Goe too, I see how thy eie doth emulate the Diamond.

And how the arched bent of thy brow

Would become the ship tire, the tire vellet,

Or anie Venetian attire, I see it.

_Mis. For._ A plaine kercher sir _Iohn_, would fit me better. 20

_Fal._ By the Lord thou art a traitor to saie so:

What made me loue thee? Let that perswade thee

Ther’s somewhat extraordinarie in thee: Goe too _I_ loue thee:

Mistris _Ford_, _I_ cannot cog, _I_ cannot prate, like one

Of these fellowes that smels like Bucklers-berie, 25

In simple time, but _I_ loue thee,

And none but thee.

_Mis. For._ Sir _Iohn_, I am afraid you loue misteris _Page_.

_Fal._ I thou mightest as well saie

I loue to walke by the Counter gate, 30

Which is as hatefull to me

As the reake of a lime kill.

_Enter Mistresse Page._

_Mis. Pa._ Mistresse Ford, Mis. _Ford_, where are you?

_Mis. For._ O Lord step aside good sir _Iohn_.

_Falstaffe stands behind the aras._

How now Misteris _Page_, what’s the matter? 35

_Mis. Pa._ Why your husband woman is comming,

With halfe _Windsor_ at his heeles,

To looke for a gentleman, that he ses

Is hid in his house: his wifes sweet hart.

_Mis. For._ Speak louder. But _I_ hope tis not true Misteris

_Page_. 40

_Mis. Pa._ Tis too true woman. Therefore if you

Haue any here, away with him, or your vndone for euer.

_Mis. For._ Alas mistresse _Page_, what shall _I_ do?

Here is a gentleman my friend, how shall I do?

_Mis. Pa._ Gode body woman, do not stand what shal I do, and 45

what shall _I_ do. Better any shift, rather then you shamed. Looke

heere, here’s a buck-basket, if hee be a man of any reasonable sise,

heele in here.

_Mis. For._ Alas I feare he is too big.

_Fal._ Let me see, let me see, Ile in, Ile in, 50

Follow your friends counsell.

_Mis. Pa._ Fie sir _Iohn_, is this your loue? Go too. (_Aside._

_Fal._ I loue thee, and none but thee:

Helpe me to conuey me hence,

Ile neuer come here more. 55

_Sir Iohn goes into the basket, they put cloathes ouer him, the two

men carries it away: Foord meetes it, and all the rest, Page, Doctor,

Priest, Slender, Shallow._

_Ford._ Come pray along, you shall see all.

How now who goes heare? whither goes this?

Whither goes it? set it downe.

_Mis. For._ Now let it go, you had best meddle with

buck-washing. 60

_Ford._ Buck, good buck, pray come along,

Master _Page_ take my keyes: helpe to search. Good

Sir _Hugh_ pray come along, helpe a little, a little,

He shew you all.

_Sir Hu._ By Ieshu these are iealosies and distemperes. 65

_Exit omnes._

_Mis. Pa._ He is in a pittifull taking.

_Mis._ I wonder what he thought

When my husband bad them set downe the basket.

_Mis. Pa._ Hang him dishonest slaue, we cannot vse

Him bad inough. This is excellent for your

Husbands iealousie.

_Mi. For._ Alas poore soule it grieues me at the hart,

But this will be a meanes to make him cease

His iealous fits, if _Falstaffes_ love increase.

_Mis. Pa._ Nay we wil send to _Falstaffe_ once again, 75

Tis great pittie we should leaue him:

What wiues may be merry, and yet honest too.

_Mi. For._ Shall we be condemnd because we laugh?

Tis old, but true: still sowes eate all the draffe.

_Enter all._

_Mis. Pa._ Here comes your husband, stand aside. 80

_For._ _I_ can find no body within, it may be he lied.

_Mis. Pa._ Did you heare that?

_Mis. For._ I, I, peace.

_For._ Well, Ile not let it go so, yet Ile trie further.

_S. Hu._ By Ieshu if there be any body in the kitchin 85

Or the cuberts, or the presse, or the buttery,

_I_ am an arrant Iew: now God plesse me:

You serue me well, do you not?

_Pa._ Fie M. _{F}ord_ you are too blame:

_Mis. Pa._ I faith tis not well M. _Ford_ to suspect 90

Her thus without cause.

_Doc._ No by my trot it be no vell:

_For._ Wel, I pray bear with me, M. _Page_ pardon me.

_I_ suffer for it, _I_ suffer for it:

_Sir Hu:_ You suffer for a bad conscience looke you now: 95

_{F}ord:_ Well _I_ pray no more, another time {I}le tell you all:

The mean time go dine with me, pardon me wife,

I am sorie; M. _{P}age_, pray goe in to dinner,

Another time {I}le tell you all.

_{P}a:_ Wel let it be so, and to morrow I inuite you all 100

To my house to dinner: and in the morning weele

A birding, _I_ haue an excellent Hauke for the bush.

_{F}ord:_ Let it be so: Come M. _{P}age_, come wife;

I pray you come in all, y’are welcome, pray come in.

_Sir Hu:_ By so kad vdgme, M. _{F}ordes_ is 105

Not in his right wittes:

_Exit omnes:_

_Enter sir Iohn Falstaffe._ [SC. XI.]

_Fal:_ _Bardolfe_ brew me a pottle sack presently:

_Bar:_ With Egges sir?

_Fal:_ Simply of it selfe, {I}le none of these pullets sperme

{I}n my drink: goe make haste.

Haue _I_ liued to be carried in a basket 5

And throwne into the Thames like a barow of Butchers offoll. Well,

and I be serued such another tricke, Ile giue them leaue to take out

my braines and butter them, and giue them to a dog for a new-yeares

gift. Sblood, the rogues slided me in with as little remorse as if they

had gone to drowne a blinde bitches puppies in the litter: and they 10

might know by my sise I haue a kind of alacritie in sinking: and the

bottom had bin as deep as hell I should downe. I had bene drowned,

but that the shore was sheluie and somewhat shallowe: a death that I

abhorre. For you know the water swelles a man: and what a thing

should I haue bene when I had bene swelled? By the Lord a 15

mountaine of money. Now is the Sacke brewed?

_Bar._ I sir, there’s a woman below would speake with you.

_Fal._ Bid her come vp. Let me put some Sacke among this

cold water, for my belly is as cold as if I had swallowed snow-balles

for pilles. 20

_Enter Mistresse Quickly._

Now whats the newes with you?

_Quic._ I come from misteris _{F}ord_ forsooth.

_Fal._ Misteris _Ford_, I haue had Ford inough,

_I_ haue bene throwne into the Ford, my belly is full

Of Ford: she hath tickled mee. 25

_Quic._ O Lord sir, she is the sorrowfullest woman that her seruants

mistooke, that euer liued. And sir, she would desire you of all

loues you will meet her once againe, to morrow sir, betweene ten and

eleuen, and she hopes to make amends for all.

_Fal._ Ten, and eleuen, saiest thou? 30

_Quic._ I forsooth.

_Fal._ Well, tell her Ile meet her. Let her but think

Of mans frailtie: Let her iudge what man is,

And then thinke of me. And so farwell.

_Quic._ Youle not faile sir? _Exit mistresse Quickly._ 35

_Fal._ _I_ will not faile. Commend me to her.

I wonder _I_ heare not of M. _Brooke_, _I_ like his

Mony well. By the masse here he is.

_Enter Brooke._

_For._ God saue you sir.

_{F}al._ Welcome good M. _Brooke_. You come to know how matters 40

goes.

_Ford._ Thats my comming indeed sir Iohn.

_Fal._ M. _Brooke_ I will not lye to you sir,

I was there at my appointed time.

_For._ And how sped you sir? 45

_Fal._ Verie ilfauouredly sir.

_For._ Why sir, did she change her determination?

_Fal._ No M. _Brooke_, but you shall heare. After we had kissed

and imbraced, and as it were euen amid the prologue of our incounter,

who should come, but the iealous knaue her husband, and a 50

rabble of his companions at his heeles, thither prouoked and

instigated by his distemper. And what to do thinke you? to search for

his wiues loue. Euen so, plainly so.

_For._ While ye were there?

_Fal._ Whilst I was there. 55

_For._ And did he search and could not finde you?

_Fal._ You shall heare sir, as God would haue it,

A litle before comes me one _Pages_ wife,

Giues her intelligence of her husbands

Approach: and by her inuention, and _Fords_ wiues 60

Distraction, conueyd me into a buck-basket.

_Ford._ A buck basket!

_Fal._ By the Lord a buck-basket, rammed me in

With foule shirts, stokins, greasie napkins,

That M. _Brooke_, there was a compound of the most 65

Villanous smel, that euer offended nostrill.

Ile tell you M. _Brooke_, by the Lord for your sake

I suffered three egregious deaths: First to be

Crammed like a good bilbo, in the circomference

Of a pack, Hilt to point, heele to head: and then to 70

Be stewed in my owne grease like a Dutch dish:

A man of my kidney; by the Lord it was maruell I

Escaped suffication; and in the heat of all this,

To be throwne into Thames like a horshoo hot:

Maister _Brooke_, thinke of that hissing heate, Maister _Brooke_. 75

_Ford._ Well sir then my shute is void?

Youle vndertake it no more?

_Fal._ M. _Brooke_, {I}le be throwne into Etna

As _I_ haue bene in the Thames,

Ere I thus leaue her: _I_ haue receiued 80

Another appointment of meeting,

Betweene ten and eleuen is the houre.

_{F}ord:_ Why sir, tis almost ten alreadie:

_{F}al:_ Is it? why then will _I_ addresse my selfe

For my appointment: M. _Brooke_, come to me soone 85

At night, and you shall know how _I_ speed,

And the end shall be, you shall enjoy her loue:

You shall cuckold Foord: come to mee soone at

at night. _Exit Falstaffe._

_{F}or._ {I}s this a dreame? {I}s it a vision?

Maister _{F}ord_, maister _{F}ord_, awake maister _{F}ord_, 90

There is a hole made in your best coat M. _Ford_,

And a man shall not onely endure this wrong,

But shall stand vnder the taunt of names,

_Lucifer_ is a good name, _Barbason_ good: good

Diuels names: but cuckold, wittold, godeso 95

The diuel himselfe hath not such a name:

And they may hang hats here, and napkins here

Vpon my homes: well {I}le home, _I_ ferit him,

And vnlesse the diuel himselfe should aide him.

Ile search vnpossible places: {I}le about it, 100

Least I repent too late:

_Exit omnes._

NOTES: SCENE XI

[SC. XI.] add _and Bardolfe._

7, 11: _and_] _if_.

49: _euen_] om.

80: _I thus_] _thus I_

88: _at at_] _at_.

_Enter M. {F}enton, {P}age, and mistresse Quickly._ [SC. XII.]

_{F}en:_ Tell me sweet Nan, how doest thou yet resolue,

Shall foolish _Slender_ haue thee to his wife?

Or one as wise as he, the learned Doctor?

Shall such as they enjoy thy maiden hart?

Thou knowst that _I_ haue alwaies loued thee deare, 5

And thou hast oft times swore the like to me.

_An:_ Good M. _{F}enton_, you may assure your selfe

My hart is setled vpon none but you,

Tis as my father and mother please:

Get their consent, you quickly shall haue mine. 10

_{F}en:_ Thy father thinks I loue thee for his wealth,

Tho I must needs confesse at first that drew me,

But since thy vertues wiped that trash away,

_I_ loue thee _Nan_, and so deare is it set,

That whilst I liue, I nere shall thee forget. 15

[_Quic:_] Godes pitie here comes her father.

_Enter M. Page his wife, M. Shallow, and Slender._

_Pa._ M. _Fenton_ I pray what make you here?

You know my answere sir, shees not for you:

Knowing my vow, to blame to vse me thus.

_Fen._ But heare me speake sir. 20

_{P}a._ Pray sir get you gon: Come hither daughter,

Sonne _Slender_ let me speak with you. (_they whisper._

_Quic._ Speake to misteris _{P}age_.

_Fen._ Pray misteris _{P}age_ let me haue your consent.

_Mis. Pa._ Ifaith M. _Fenton_ tis as my husband please.

For my part, Ile neither hinder you, nor further you.

_Quic._ How say you this was my doings?

I bid you speake to misteris _{P}age_.

_Fen._ Here nurse, theres a brace of angels to drink,

Worke what thou canst for me, farwell. (_Exit Fen._ 30

_Quic._ By my troth so I will, good hart.

_Pa._ Come wife, you an _I_ will in, weele leaue M. _Slender_

And my daughter to talke together. M. _Shallow_,

You may stay sir if you please.

_Exit {P}age and his wife._

_Shal._ Mary _I_ thanke you for that: 35

To her cousin, to her.

_Slen._ Ifaith _I_ know not what to say.

_An._ Now M. _{S}lender_, what’s your will?

_Slen._ Godeso, theres a {I}est indeed: why misteris _An_, I neuer

made will yet: _I_ thank God I am wise inough for that. 40

_Shal._ Fie cusse fie, thou art not right,

O thou hadst a father.

_Slen._ I had a father misteris _Anne_, good vncle

Tell the Iest how my father stole the goose out of

The henloft. All this is nought, harke you mistresse _Anne_. 45

_Shal._ He will make you ioynter of three hundred pound a yeare,

he shall make you a Gentlewoman.

_Slend._ I be God that I vill, come cut and long taile, as good as

any is in _Glostershire_, vnder the degree of a Squire.

_An._ O God how many grosse faults are hid 50

And couered in three hundred pound a yeare?

Well M. _{S}lender_, within a day or two Ile tell you more.

_Slend._ I thanke you good misteris _Anne_, vncle I shall haue her.

_Quic._ M. _{S}hallow_, M. _Page_ would pray you to come you, and you

M. Slender, and you mistris _An_. 55

_Slend._ Well Nurse, if youle speake for me,

Ile giue you more than Ile talke of.

_Exit omnes but Quickly._

_Quic._ Indeed I will, Ile speake what I can for you,

But specially for M. _Fenton_:

But specially of all for my Maister. 60

And indeed I will do what I can for them all three. _Exit._

_Enter misteris Ford and her two men._

_Mis. For._ Do you heare? when your M. comes take vp this basket

as you did before, and if your M. bid you set it downe, obey

him.

_Ser._ I will forsooth. 65

_Enter Syr Iohn._

_Mis._ For. Syr _Iohn_ welcome.

_Fal._ What are you sure of your husband now?

_Mis. For._ He is gone a birding sir _Iohn_, and I hope will not

come home yet.

_Enter mistresse Page._

Gods body here is misteris _Page_, 70

Step behind the arras good sir _Iohn_.

_He steps behind the arras._

_Mis. Pa._ Misteris _Ford_, why woman your husband is in his old

vaine againe, hees comming to search for your sweet heart, but I am

glad he is not here.

_Mis. {F}or._ O God misteris _Page_ the knight is here, 75

What shall I do?

_Mis. Pa._ Why then you’r vndone woman, vnles you make some

meanes to shift him away.

_Mis. For._ Alas I know no meanes, unlesse

we put him in the basket againe. 80

_{F}al._ No Ile come no more in the basket,

Ile creep vp into the chimney.

Mis _For._ There they use to discharge their Fowling peeces.

_{F}al._ Why then Ile goe out of doores.

_Mi. Pa._ Then your vndone, your but a dead man. 85

_Fal._ For Gods sake deuise any extremitie,

Rather then a mischiefe.

_Mis. Pa._ Alas I know not what meanes to make,

If there were any womans apparell would fit him,

He might put on a gowne and a mufler, 90

And so escape.

_Mi. For._ Thats wel remembred, my maids Aunt

_Gillian_ of _Brainford_, hath a gowne aboue.

_Mis. {P}a._ And she is altogether as fat as he.

_Mis. For._ I that will serue him of my word. 95

_Mis. Pa._ Come goe with me sir _Iohn_, Ile helpe to dresse you.

_Fal._ Come for God sake, any thing.

_Exit Mis. Page and Sir Iohn._

_Enter M. Ford, {P}age, Priest, Shallow, the two men carries

the basket, and Ford meets it._

_For._ Come along _I_ pray, you shal know the cause,

How now whither goe you? Ha whither go you?

Set downe the basket you ssaue, 100

You panderly rogue, set it downe.

_Mis. {F}or._ What is the reason that you vse me thus?

_For._ Come hither set downe the basket,

Misteris _{F}ord_ the modest woman,

Misteris _{F}ord_ the vertuous woman, 105

She that hath the iealous foole to her husband,

I mistrust you without cause do I not?

_Mis. For._ I Gods my record do you. And if

you mistrust me in any ill sort.

_Ford._ Well sed brazen face, hold it out, 110

You youth in a basket, come out here,

Pull out the cloathes, search.

_Hu._ Ieshu plesse me, will you pull vp your wiues cloathes.

_Pa._ Fie M. _{F}ord_, you are not to go abroad if you be

in these fits.

_Sir Hugh._ By so kad vdge me, tis verie necessarie 115

He were put in pethlem.

_For._ M. _{P}age_, as _I_ am an honest man M. _{P}age_,

There was one conueyd out of my house here yesterday out of this

basket, why may he not be here now?

_Mi. For._ Come mistris _{P}age_, bring the old woman downe. 120

_For._ Old woman, what old woman?

_Mi. {F}or._ Why my maidens Ant, _Gillian_ of _Brainford_.

A witch, haue I not forewarned her my house,

Alas we are simple we, we know not what

_Is_ brought to passe vnder the colour of fortune-Telling. Come 125

downe you witch, come downe.

_Enter Falstaffe disguised like an old woman, and misteris Page

with him, Ford beates him, and hee runnes away._

Away you witch get you gone.

_{Sir H}u._ By Ieshu I verily thinke she is a witch indeed,

I espied vnder her mufler a great beard.

_Ford._ Pray come helpe me to search, pray now. 130

_Pa._ Come weele go for his minds sake.

_Exit omnes._

_Mi. For._ By my troth he beat him most extreamly.

_Mi. Pa._ I am glad of it, what shall we proceed any further?

_Mi. For._ No faith, now if you will let vs tell our husbands of it.

For mine I am sure hath almost fretted himselfe to death. 135

_Mi. Pa._ Content, come weele go tell them all,

And as they agree, so will we proceed.

_Exit both._

NOTES: SCENE XII

[SC. XII.] _Page_] _Anne Page_.

16: [Quic:] from the Catchword.

69: _home_] om.

98: Priest] Hugh.

115: _By so_] _So_.

120: _Come_] om.

123: _A witch._] For. _A witch._

_Enter Host and Bardolfe._ [SC. XIII.]

_Bar._ Syr heere be three Gentlemen come from the Duke the

Stanger sir, would haue your horse.

_Host._ The Duke, what Duke? let me speake with the Gentlemen,

do they speake English?

_Bar._ He call them to you sir. 5

_Host._ No _Bardolfe_, let them alone, He sauce them:

They haue had my house a weeke at command,

I haue turned away my other guesse,

They shall haue my horses _Bardolfe_,

They must come off, He sawce them.

_Exit omnes._ 10

_Enter Ford, Page, their wives, Shallow and Slender, Syr Hu._

[SC. XIV.]

_Ford._ Well wife, heere take my hand, vpon my soule I loue thee

dearer then I do my life, and ioy I haue so true and constant wife, my

iealousie shall neuer more offend thee.

_Mi. For._ Sir _I_ am glad, and that which I haue done,

Was nothing else but mirth and modestie. 5

_Pa._ I misteris _{F}ord_, _Falstaffe_ hath all the griefe,

And in this knauerie my wife was the chiefe.

_Mi. Pa._ No knauery husband, it was honest mirth.

_Hu._ Indeed it was good pastimes & merriments.

_Mis. For._ But sweete heart shall wee leaue olde _{F}alstaffe_ so? 10

_Mis. Pa._ O by no meanes, send to him againe.

_Pa._ I do not thinke heele come being so much deceiued.

_For._ Let me alone, Ile to him once again like _Brooke_, and

know his mind whether heele come or not.

_Pa._ There must be some plot laide, or heele not come. 15

_Mis. Pa._ Let vs alone for that. Heare my deuice.

Oft haue you heard since _Horne_ the hunter dyed,

That women to affright their litle children,

Ses that he walkes in shape of a great stagge.

Now for that _{F}alstaffe_ hath bene so deceiued, 20

As that he dares not venture to the house,

Weele send him word to meet vs in the field,

Disguised like _Horne_, with huge horns on his head.

The houre shalbe iust betweene twelue and one,

And at that time we will meet him both: 25

Then would I haue you present there at hand,

With litle boyes disguised and dressed like Fayries,

For to affright fat _{F}alstaffe_ in the woods.

And then to make a period to the Iest,

Tell _Falstaffe_ all, I thinke this will do best. 30

_Pa._ Tis excellent, and my daughter _Anne_,

Shall like a litle Fayrie be disguised.

_Mis. Pa._ And in that Maske Ile make the Doctor steale my

daughter _An_, and ere my husband knowes it, to carrie her to Church,

and marrie her. 35

_Mis. For._ But who will buy the silkes to tyre the boyes?

_Pa._ That will _I_ do, and in a robe of white

Ile cloath my daughter, and aduertise _Slender_

To know her by that signe, and steale her thence,

And vnknowne to my wife, shall marrie her. 40

_Hu._ So kad vdge me the deuises is excellent.

_I_ will also be there, and will be like a {I}ackanapes,

And pinch him most cruelly for his lecheries.

_Mis. Pa._ Why then we are reuenged sufficiently.

First he was carried and throwne in the Thames, 45

Next beaten well, _I_ am sure youle witnes that.

_{M}i. {F}or._ Ile lay my life this makes him nothing fat.

_{P}a._ Well lets about this stratagem, I long

To see deceit deceiued, and wrong haue wrong.

_For._ Well send to _{F}alstaffe_, and if he come thither, 50

Twill make vs smile and laugh one moneth togither.

_Exit omnes._

NOTES: SCENE XIV

10: and Slender] Slender and.

[Transcriber’s Note:

The number 10 refers to the last line of Scene XIII, carried over

to the “Enter...” line in Scene XIV. In the original text, the two

line 10’s were printed on the same page.]

14: ins. he speakes aboue.

_Enter Host and Simple._ [SC. XV.]

_Host._ What would thou haue boore, what thick-skin?

Speake, breath, discus, short, quick, briefe, snap.

_Sim._ Sir, I am sent from my M. to sir _Iohn {F}alstaffe_.

_Host._ Sir _Iohn_, theres his Castle, his standing bed, his trundle

bed, his chamber is painted about with the story of the prodigall, 5

fresh and new, goe knock, heele speak like an Antripophiginian to

thee: Knock _I_ say.

_Sim._ Sir I should speak with an old woman that went vp into

his chamber. 10

_Host._ An old woman, the knight may be robbed, Ile call bully

knight, bully sir _Iohn_. Speake from thy Lungs military: it is thine

host, thy Ephesian calls.

_Fal._ Now mine host,

_Host:_ Here is a Bohemian tarter bully, tarries the comming 15

downe of the fat woman: Let her descend bully, let her descend, my

chambers are honorable, pah priuasie, fie.

_Fal._ Indeed mine host there was a fat woman with me,

But she is gone.

_Enter sir Iohn._

_Sim._ Pray sir, was it not the wise woman of _Brainford?_ 20

_Fal._ Marry was it Musselshell, what would you?

_Sim._ Marry sir my maister _Slender_ sent me to her,

To know whether one _Nim_ that hath his chaine,

Cousoned him of it, or no.

_{F}al._ I talked with the woman about it. 25

_Sim._ And I pray you sir what ses she?

_Fal._ Marry she ses the very same man that

Beguiled maister _{S}lender_ of his chaine,

Cousoned him of it.

_Sim._ May I be bolde to tell my maister so sir? 30

_Fal._ _I_ tike, who more bolde.

_Sim._ _I_ thanke you sir, I shall make my maister a glad man at

these tydings, God be with you sir. _Exit._

_Host._ Thou art clarkly sir _Iohn_, thou art clarkly,

Was there a wise woman with thee? 35

_Fal._ Marry was there mine host, one that taught

Me more wit then I learned this 7. yeare,

And I paid nothing for it,

But was paid for my learning.

_Enter Bardolfe._

_Bar._ O lord sir cousonage, plaine cousonage. 40

_Host._ Why man, where be my horses? where be the Germanes?

_Bar._ Rid away with your horses:

After I came beyond Maidenhead,

They flung me in a slow of myre, & away they ran.

_Enter Doctor._

_Doc._ Where be my Host de gartyre? 45

_Host._ O here sir in perplexitie.

_Doc._ I cannot tell vad be dad,

But begar I will tell you van ting,

Dear be a Garmaine Duke come to de Court,

Has cosened all the host of _Branford_, 50

And _Redding_: begar I tell you for good will,

Ha, ha, mine Host, am I euen met you? _Exit._

_Enter _Sir_ Hugh._

_{S}ir Hu._ Where is mine host of the gartyr?

Now my Host, I would desire you looke you now,

To haue a care of your entertainments, 55

For there is three sorts of cosen garmombles,

_Is_ cosen all the Host of Maidenhead and Readings,

Now you are an honest man, and a scuruy beggerly lowsie knaue beside:

And can point wrong places, 60

_I_ tell you for good will, grate why mine Host. _Exit._

_Host._ _I_ am cosened _Hugh_, and coy _Bardolfe_,

Sweet knight assist me, _I_ am cosened. _Exit._

_Fal._ Would all the worell were cosened for me,

For I am cousoned and beaten too. 65

Well, _I_ neuer prospered since I forswore

Myselfe at _Primero_: and my winde

Were but long inough to say my prayers,

Ide repent, now from whence come you?

_Enter {M}istresse Quickly._

_Quic._ From the two parties forsooth. 70

_{F}al._ The diuell take the one partie,

And his dam the other,

And theyle be both bestowed.

_I_ haue endured more for their sakes,

Then man is able to endure. 75

_Quic._ O Lord sir, they are the sorowfulst creatures

That euer liued: specially mistresse _Ford_,

Her husband hath beaten her that she is all

Blacke and blew poore soule.

_Fal._ What tellest me of blacke and blew, 80

I haue bene beaten all the colours in the Rainbow,

And in my escape like to a bene apprehended

For a witch of _Brainford_, and set in the stockes.

_Quic._ Well sir, she is a sorrowfull woman,

And I hope when you heare my errant, 85

Youle be perswaded to the contrarie.

_Fal._ Come goe with me into my chamber, Ile heare thee.

_Exit omnes._

NOTES: SCENE XV

81: _bene_] om.

_Enter Host and Fenton._ [SC. XVI.]

_Host._ Speake not to me sir, my mind is heauie,

I haue had a great losse.

_{F}en._ Yet heare me, and as I am a gentleman,

Ile giue you a hundred pound toward your losse.

_Host._ Well sir Ile heare you, and at least keep your counsell. 5

_{F}en._ Then thus my host. Tis not vnknown to you,

The feruent loue _I_ beare to young _Anne Page_,

And mutally her loue againe to mee:

But her father still against her choise,

Doth seeke to marrie her to foolish _Slender_, 10

And in a robe of white this night disguised,

Wherein fat _Falstaffe_ had a mightie scare,

Must _Slender_ take her and carrie her to _Catlen_,

And there vnknowne to any, marrie her.

Now her mother still against that match, 15

And firme for Doctor _Cayus_, in a robe of red

By her deuice, the Doctor must steale her thence,

And she hath giuen consent to goe with him.

_Host._ Now which meanes she to deceiue, father or mother?

_Fen._ Both my good Host, to go along with me. 20

Now here it rests, that you would procure a priest,

And tarry readie at the appointment place,

To giue our harts vnited matrimonie.

_Host._ But how will you come to steale her from among them?

_{F}en._ That hath sweet _Nan_ and I agreed vpon, 25

And by a robe of white, the which she weares,

With ribones pendant flaring bout her head,

_I_ shalbe sure to know her, and conuey her thence,

And bring her where the priest abides our comming,

And by thy furtherance there be married. 30

_Host._ Well, husband your deuice, Ile to the Vicar,

Bring you the maide, you shall not lacke a Priest.

_Fen._ So shall _I_ euermore be bound vnto thee,

Besides Ile always be thy faithful friend. _Exit omnes._

_Enter sir Iohn with a Bucks head upon him._ [SC. XVII.]

_Fal._ This is the third time, well {I}le venter,

They say there is good luck in old numbers,

{[_Ioue_ transform’d himselfe into a Bull,]}

And _I_ am here a Stag, and _I_ thinke the fattest

In all _Windsor_ forrest: well _I_ stand here 5

For _Horne_ the hunter, waiting my Does comming.

_Enter mistris Page and mistris Ford._

_Mis. Pa._ Sir _Iohn_, where are you?

_Fal._ Art thou come my doe? What and thou too?

Welcome Ladies.

_Mi. For._ I I sir _Iohn_, _I_ see you will not faile, 10

Therefore you deserue far better then our loues,

But it grieues me for your late crosses.

_{F}al._ This makes amends for all.

Come diuide me betweene you, each a hanch,

For my horns Ile bequeath them to your husbands, 15

Do _I_ speake like _Horne_ the hunter, ha?

_Mis. Pa._ God forgiue me, what noise is this?

_There is a noise of hornes, the two women run away._

_Enter sir Hugh like a Satyre, and boyes drest like Fayries,

mistresse Quickly, like the Queene of Fayries: they sing a song

about him, and afterward speake._

_Quic:_ You Fayries that do haunt these shady groues,

Looke round about the wood if you can espie

A mortall that doth haunt our sacred round:

If such a one you can espy, giue him his due,

And leaue not till you pinch him blacke and blew:

Giue them their charge _Puck_ ere they part away.

_Sir Hu._ Come hither _{P}eane_, goe to the countrie houses,

And when you finde a slut that lies a sleepe, 25

And all her dishes foule, and roome vnswept,

With youre long nailes pinch her till she crie,

And sweare to mend her sluttish huswiferie.

_Fai._ I warrant you I will perform your will.

_{H}u._ Where is _Pead?_ Go and see where Brokers sleep, 30

And Foxe-eyed Seriants with their mase,

Goe laie the proctors in the street,

And pinch the lowsie Seriants face:

Spare none of these when they are a bed,

But such whose nose lookes plew and red. 35

_Quic._ Away begon, his mind fulfill,

And looke that none of you stand still.

Some do that thing, some do this,

All do something, none amis.

_Hir Hu._ I smell a man of middle earth. 40

_Fal._ God blesse me from that wealch Fairie.

_Quic._ Looke euery one about this round,

And if that any here be found,

For his presumption in this place,

Spare neither legge, arme, head, nor face. 45

_Sir Hu._ See I haue spied one by good luck,

His bodie man, his head a buck.

_Fal._ God send me good fortune now, and I care not.

_Quick._ Go strait, and do as I commaund,

And take a Taper in your hand, 50

And set it to his fingers endes,

And if you see it him offends,

And that he starteth at the flame,

Then is he mortall, know his name:

If with an F. it doth begin, 55

Why then be shure he is full of sin.

About it then, and know the truth,

Of this same metamorphised youth.

_Sir Hugh._ Giue me the Tapers, I will try

And if that he loue venery. 60

_They put the Tapers to his fingers, and he starts._

_Sir Hu._ It is right indeed, he is full of lecheries and iniquitie.

_Quic._ A little distant from him stand,

And euery one take hand in hand,

And compasse him within a ring,

First pinch him well, and after sing. 65

_Here they pinch him, and sing about him, and the Doctor comes one

way and steales away a boy in red. And Slender another way he

takes a boy in greene: And Fenton steales misteris Anne, being in

white. And a noyse of hunting is made within; and all the

{F}airies runne away. Falstaffe pulles off his bucks head, and rises

vp. And enters _M._ Page, _M._ Ford, and their wiues, _M._ Shallow,

sir Hugh._

_Fal._ _Horne_ the hunter quoth you: am I ghost?

Sblood the Fairies hath made a ghost of me:

What hunting at this time at night?

He lay my life the mad prince of _Wales_

Is stealing his fathers Deare. How now who haue we here, what is 70

all _Windsor_ stirring? Are you there?

_Shal._ God saue you sir _Iohn Falstaffe_.

_Sir Hu._ God plesse you sir _Iohn_, God plesse you.

_Pa._ Why how now sir _Iohn_, what a pair of horns in your

hand? 75

_For._ Those hornes he ment to place vpon my head,

And M. _Brooke_ and he should be the men:

Why how now sir _Iohn_, why are you thus amazed?

We know the Fairies man that pinched you so,

Your throwing in the Thames, your beating well, 80

And what’s to come sir _Iohn_, that can we tell.

_Mi. Pa._ Sir _Iohn_ tis thus, your dishonest meanes

To call our credits into question,

Did make vs vndertake to our best,

To turn your leaud lust to a merry Iest. 85

_Fal._ Iest, tis well, haue I liued to these yeares

To be gulled now, now to be ridden?

Why then these were not _{F}airies?_

_Mis. Pa._ No sir _Iohn_ but boyes.

_Fal._ By the Lord I was twice or thrise in the mind 90

They were not, and yet the grosnesse

Of the fopperie perswaded me they were.

Well, and the fine wits of the Court heare this,

Thayle so whip me with their keene Iests,

That thayle melt me out like tallow, 95

Drop by drop out of my grease. Boyes!

_Sir Hu._ I trust me boyes Sir _Iohn:_ and I was

Also a Fairie that did helpe to pinch you.

_Fal._ I, tis well I am your May-pole,

You haue the start of mee, 100

Am I ridden too with a wealch goate?

With a peece of toasted cheese?

_Sir Hu._ Butter is better then cheese sir _Iohn_,

You are all butter, butter.

_For._ There is a further matter yet sir _Iohn_, 105

There’s 20. pound you borrowed of M. _Brooke_ sir _Iohn_,

And it must be paid to M. _{F}ord_ sir _Iohn_.

_Mi. For._ Nay husband let that go to make amends,

Forgiue that sum, and so weele all be friends.

_For._ Well here is my hand, all’s forgiuen at last. 110

_Fal._ It hath cost me well,

I haue beene well pinched and washed.

_Enter the Doctor._

_Mi. Pa._ Now M. Doctor, sonne I hope you are.

_Doct._ Sonne begar you be de ville voman,

Begar I tinck to marry metres _An_, and begar 115

Tis a whorson garson Iack boy.

_Mis. Pa._ How a boy?

_Doct._ I begar a boy.

_Pa._ Nay be not angry wife, {I}le tell thee true,

{I}t was my plot to deceiue thee so: 120

And by this time your daughter’s married

To M. _{S}lender_, and see where he comes.

_Enter Slender._

Now sonne _Slender_,

Where’s your bride?

_{S}len._ Bride, by Gods lyd _I_ thinke theres neuer a man in the 125

worell hath that crosse fortune that _I_ haue: begod I could cry for

verie anger.

_Page._ Why whats the matter sonne _{S}lender?_

_{S}len._ Sonne, nay by God _I_ am none of your son.

_Pa._ No, why so? 130

_{S}len._ Why so God saue me, tis a boy that I haue married.

_Page._ How, a boy? why did you mistake the word?

_{S}len._ No neither, for _I_ came to her in red as you bad me, and _I_

cried mum, and hee cried budget, so well as euer you heard, and I

haue married him. 135

_{S}ir Hugh._ Ieshu M. _{S}lender_, cannot you see but marrie boyes?

_Pa._ O _I_ am vext at hart, what shal I do?

_Enter {F}enton and Anne._

_Mis. {P}a._ Here comes the man that hath deceiued vs all:

How now daughter, where haue you bin?

_An._ At Curch forsooth. 140

_{P}a._ At Church, what haue you done there?

_Fen._ Married to me, nay sir neuer storme,

Tis done sir now, and cannot be vndone.

_{F}ord:_ Ifaith M. _Page_ neuer chafe your selfe,

She hath made her choise wheras her hart was fixt, 145

Then tis in vaine for you to storme or fret.

_Fal._ _I_ am glad yet that your arrow hath glanced.

_Mi. For._ Come mistris _Page_, Ile be bold with you,

Tis pitie to part loue that is so true.

_Mis. Pa._ Altho that I haue missed in my intent, 150

Yet _I_ am glad my husbands match was crossed,

Here M. _{F}enton_, take her, and God giue thee ioy.

_Sir Hu:_ Come M. _{P}age_, you must needs agree.

_{F}o._ I yfaith sir come, you see your wife is wel pleased:

_{P}a._ _I_ cannot tel, and yet my hart’s well eased, 155

And yet it doth me good the Doctor missed.

Come hither _{F}enton_, and come hither daughter,

Go too you might haue stai’d for my good will,

But since your choise is made of one you loue,

Here take her _{F}enton_, & both happie proue. 160

_Sir. Hu._ _I_ wil also dance & eate plums at your weddings.

_For._ All parties pleased, now let vs in to feast,

And laugh at _{S}lender_ and the Doctors ieast.

He hath got the maiden, each of you a boy

To waite vpon you, so God giue you ioy, 165

And sir _Iohn Falstaffe_ now shal you keep your word,

For _Brooke_ this night shall lye with mistris _Ford_.

_Exit omnes._

NOTES: SCENE XVII

59: Tapers] Torches.

79: _so_] om.

93: _and_] _if_.

101: _ridden_] _written_.

131: _that_] om. Halliwell.

138: _the man_] _he_.

140: _Curch_] _Church_ Halliwell.

147: _that_] _then_ Halliwell.

154: _I yfaith_] _I faith_.

161: _also_] om.

_FINIS._

* * * * *

* * * *

* * * * *

Sources:

The Quarto editions of _The Merry Wives of Windsor_ are described in

the introduction to the play.

The general Preface (e-text 23041) discusses the 17th- and

18th-century editions in detail; the newer (19th-century) editions

are simply listed by name. The following editions may appear in the

Notes. All inset text is quoted from the Preface.

Folios:

F1 1623; F2 (no date given); F3 1663; F4 1685.

“The five plays contained in this volume occur in the first Folio

in the same order, and ... were there printed for the first time.”

Early editions:

Rowe 1709

Pope 1715

“Pope was the first to indicate the _place_ of each new scene;

as, for instance, _Tempest_, I. 1. ‘On a ship at sea.’ He also

subdivided the scenes as given by the Folios and Rowe, making

a fresh scene whenever a new character entered--an arrangement

followed by Hanmer, Warburton, and Johnson. For convenience of

reference to these editions, we have always recorded the

commencement of Pope's scenes.”

Theobald 1733

Hanmer (“Oxford edition”) 1744

Warburton 1747

Johnson 1765

Capell 1768; _also Capell’s annotated copy of F2_

Steevens 1773

Malone 1790

Reed 1803

Later editions:

Singer, Knight, Cornwall, Collier, Phelps, Halliwell, Dyce, Staunton

Errors and inconsistencies:

[Text-critical notes]

I. 1. 65: Enter PAGE.] ...

65: SCENE II. Pope. [_duplicate numbering in original_]

I. 3. 95: _the_]

95: _mine_] [_duplicate numbering in original_]

II. 1. 45: [44:]

III. 1. 14: [16:]

III. 1. 37, 65, 105: [, 104:]

V. 5. 97: _Mutually_ [_body text has lower-case “mutually”_]

[Endnotes]

I: ... 134 and 142 [135 and 143]

IV: I. 3. 95. [I. 3. 96.]

VII: III. 1. 74, 78. [74. 78.]