ANNE. A DEAD QUEEN
Queen Anne was considered rather a remarkable woman and hence was
usually referred to as Great Anna, or Annus Mirabilis. Besides being
dead she was extremely kind-hearted and had a very soothing Act passed
called the _Occasional Conformity Act_ which said that people only had
to conform with it occasionally: this pleasant trait in her character
was called Queen Anne’s Bounty. (The Occasional Conformity Act was the
only Act of its kind in History, until the Speed limit was invented.)
The Queen had many favourites (all women), the most memorable of
whom were Sarah Jenkins and Mrs. Smashems, who were the first Wig
and the first Tory. Sarah Jenkins was really the wife of the Duke of
Marlborough, the famous General, inventor of the Ramillies Whig, of
which Sarah wore the first example.
SUCCESSION OF WARS
All through the XVIIIth Century there was a Succession of Wars, and
in Queen Anne’s reign these were called the Spanish Succession (or
Austrian Succession) because of The Infanta (or The Mariatheresa);
they were fought mainly on account of the French King L/XIV (le grand
Monomarque) saying there were _no more Pyrenese_, thus infuriating the
Infanta who was one herself.
Probably the Wars could never have been fought properly but for the
genius of Marlborough, who could always remember which side the
Bavarians and the Elector Pantomime of the Rhine were supposed to be
on: this unique talent enabled him to defeat his enemies in fierce
battles long before they could discover which side he himself was on.
Marlborough, however, was a miser in politics and made everyone pay to
go into his party; he was therefore despised as a _turnstyle_.
In this reign also occurred the memorable Port Wine Treaty with
Portugal, directed against Decanters (as the Non-Conformists were now
called), as well as a very clever Act called the Schism Act which said
that everybody’s religion was to be quite different from everybody
else’s. Meanwhile the Whigs being the first to realize that the Queen
had been dead all the time chose George I as King.