intent to rob an orchard. But one of the day scholars had overheard the
boarders planning the raid, and he informed the farmer whose orchard it
was purposed to rob, and he was on the look-out for the young rogues.
When they arrived he suffered one of them--it was Jemmy--to climb an
apple-tree without molestation, but then he rushed forth from his
hiding-place and laid about him with a carter's whip with hearty
good-will. The boys fled in all directions, except Jemmy, who escaped
further up the tree, and there remained, unable, like a squirrel, to
leap from bough to bough, and so escape. The farmer went under the tree
and shouted to him, "Come down, you young rascal! I'll strap thee!"
"Nay," answered Jemmy, "dost see any green in my eye? It's like I should
come down to get a whipping, isn't it?" And he began leisurely to eat
some of the apples, and pelt the farmer with others. The man, highly
irate, began to climb the tree after him. Jem remained composedly eating
till the farmer was within reach of him, and then he drew a cornet of
pepper from his pocket and dusted it into the eyes of his pursuer. The
man, half-blinded, desisted from his attempts to catch the boy, in his
efforts to clear his eyes, and Jemmy slipt past him down the tree and
escaped. Next day the farmer came to the school to complain, and Jemmy
received thirty strokes on his back with the birch. "Ah!" said Jemmy,
"thou'st made my back tingle, and I'll make thine smart." So he got a
darning-needle, and stuck it in the master's hair-bottomed chair in such
a way that when anyone sat down the needle would protrude through the
cushion, but would recede on the person's rising again.
At school hour the master came in, and seated himself in his chair with
his usual gravity. But suddenly up he bounded like a rocket; then turned
and examined the cushion, very red in the face. The cushion seemed all
right when he felt it with his hand, so he sat himself down on it again,
but this time much more leisurely. No sooner, however, was his weight on
it than up came the needle again, and with it up bounded the master.
"Please, sir," said Jemmy, affecting simplicity, "was there a thorn in
the seat? If so, thou'd better run two or three times round t' school
yard; I did so yesterday to work t' birch buds out o' my flesh."
Jemmy had one day tied two cats together by their hind legs and thrown
them over a rail, when the master, who had been watching him from an
upper window, made his appearance on the scene, horsewhip in hand, and
belaboured Jemmy severely. But little Hirst always retaliated in some
way. The master used to walk up and down in the evening in the yard
behind the school. He wore a foxy wig. Jemmy one evening went into the
study where Mr. Lovell kept his fishing tackle, for he was fond of
angling. The window was open; Jemmy cast the hook, as for a fish, and
caught the little fox-coloured wig. Then leaving the rod in the window,
and the head of hair dangling above the master's reach, he ran down into
the school. The Principal was therefore obliged to go upstairs with bald
head to his study to recover his wig. This final act of insubordination
was too much for Mr. Lovell--it touched him in his tenderest point; and
he wrote to Mr. Hirst to request him to remove the unmanageable boy from
his school.
He was fourteen years old when his father took him away, and was little
advanced in his learning. Every prospect of his going into the Church
was abandoned, but what trade or profession he was qualified for was as
yet undecided. His father wanted to put him to school again, but Jemmy
so steadily and doggedly persisted in his refusal to go to another, that
his indulgent father ceased to press it. The boy showed no inclination
for farming, and no persuasion of his father could induce him to take a
farming implement in his hands to work with. His chief pleasure
consisted in teaching pigs and calves to jump.
Mr. Hirst had a friend at Rawcliffe, a tanner, and this friend persuaded
Mr. Hirst to bind Jemmy apprentice to him; and as the boy showed no
disinclination to the trade, he was bound to the tanner for seven years.
The tanner had a daughter called Mary, a year younger than Jemmy, and a
tender friendship grew up between the young people: Jemmy was softened
and civilised by the gentle influence of the girl; he took willingly to
the trade, became settled, lost his mischievous propensities, and
promised to turn out a respectable member of society. An incident
occurred three years after he had entered the tanner's house which
tended to cement this attachment closer. Mary went one Saturday to spend
the day with an aunt living at Barnsley. Jemmy ferried her over the
river in a boat belonging to the tanner, and promised to fetch her in
the evening. Accordingly, towards nightfall, he crossed the river, and
made his boat fast to a stake, and then walked to Barnsley to meet the
young girl. Mary met him with her usual smile, and tripped by his side
to the boat, but in stepping into it her foot slipped, and she was swept
down by the current. Jemmy instantly leaped overboard, swam after her,
overtook her before she sank, and supporting her with one arm, succeeded
in bringing her ashore, where several persons who had witnessed the
accident were assembled to assist and receive her.
Mary's parents showed Jemmy much gratitude for his courageous conduct in
saving her life, and the girl clung to him with intense affection;
whilst Jemmy, who seemed to think he had acquired some right over her by
his having saved her life, was never happy unless he was by her side.
They were always together. She would steal in to do her needlework in
the place where he was engaged in his trade, and when work was over they
were together walking in the lanes and fields.
But in the midst of this happiness a stroke fell on them which for ever
altered the tenor of Jemmy's life. Mary fell ill with small-pox. The lad
watched by her bedside night and day, giving her medicine, making up her
pillow, tending her with agonised heart, utterly forgetful of himself,
fearing no risk of infection, heedless of taking his natural rest. The
whole time of her illness he never slept, and could scarcely be induced
to leave her side for his meals.
On the fifth day she died. The blow was more than Jemmy could bear, and
he was prostrated with brain-fever.
That the poor boy had naturally very deep feelings is evident from his
having, some few years before, been laid up with fever when his mother
died. Hearing of her death whilst he was at school, he became ill and
was removed home, where it was some time before he got over the shock.
Mary had taken the place in his vacant heart formerly occupied by his
mother, and with years the strength of his feelings had increased.
Consequently the loss of Mary affected him even more than that of his
mother.
In his brain fever he raved incessantly of the poor dead girl, and for
several weeks his life was despaired of. By degrees he slowly recovered;
but for some time it was feared that his reason was gone. At the end of
six or seven months he was able to take a little exercise without
attendance; but, as will be seen, he never wholly recovered the blow,
and his conduct thenceforth was so eccentric that there can be no doubt
his brain was affected.
He left the tanner's, abandoned the trade, and returned to his father's
house, where he idled, preying on his fancies--one day in mad, exuberant
spirits, the next overwhelmed with despondency.
When aged five-and-twenty he took a fancy to a fine bull-calf belonging
to his father, which he called "Jupiter," and he began to train it to
perform various tricks, and to break it to bear the saddle. Jupiter bore
the bridle patiently enough, but plunged and tossed his horns when the
saddle was placed on his back. Jemmy next ventured to mount his back.
The young bull stood for a minute or two, as his father said, "right
down stagnated," and then began to plunge and kick. Jemmy held fast, and
Jupiter, finding he could not thus dislodge his rider, set off, tearing
across the paddock towards a thick quickset hedge at the bottom. But
instead of leaping it, as Jemmy expected, the bull ran against the
fence, and precipitated his rider over the hedge into the ditch on the
further side. Jemmy was unhurt, except for a few scratches and some
rents in his garments, and patches of mud, and picking himself up, raced
after Jupiter, nothing daunted, caught him, and remounting him, mastered
the beast. After this he rode Jupiter daily, to the great amusement of
people generally, especially when he trotted into Snaith on market-days
on the back of the now docile bull.
On the death of his father he was left about £1000. The farm he gave up,
having no taste for agriculture, and he took a house on the bank of the
river, not far from his old master's the tanner. The house had a few
acres of land attached to it, which he cultivated. The old housekeeper,
who had known him since a child, followed him to his new home; and in
his stable was a stall for Jupiter.
He began to speculate in corn, flax, and potatoes, and having
considerable natural shrewdness underlying his eccentric manners, he
managed to realise enough to support himself comfortably. He invested
£4000 in consols, and had £2000 lying at interest in a neighbouring
bank. He rode out with Lord Beaumont's foxhounds, always on Jupiter, who
was trained to jump as well as to run. When he was seen coming up on the
bull, Lord Beaumont would turn to those with him at the meet and say,
"Well, gentlemen, if we are not destined to find game to-day, we may be
sure of sport."
His dress was as extraordinary as his mount, for he wore a broad-brimmed
hat of lambskin, fully nine feet in circumference; his waistcoat was
like Joseph's coat of many colours, made of patchwork; his breeches were
of listings of various colours, plaited together by his housekeeper; and
he wore yellow boots.
Though Jupiter could keep up with the foxhunters for a few miles, his
powers of endurance were not so great as those of a horse, and he began
to lag. Lord Beaumont would pass Jemmy, and say, "Come, Mr. Hirst, you
will not be in at the death."
"No; but I shall at the dinner," was Jemmy's dry reply. Lord Beaumont
always took the hint and invited him to Carlton House to the hunting
dinner.
His Lordship had a nephew visiting him on one occasion, a London
exquisite, who thought he could amuse himself at Jemmy's expense. One
day at the meet this young man said to Captain Bolton, "Let us quiz the
old fellow."--"By all means," answered the captain; "but take care that
you do not get the worst of it."
When Jemmy came up, the young dandy, bowing to him on his saddle, said,
"I wish you a good morning, Joseph."
"My name isn't Joseph," answered Jemmy.
"Oh, I beg pardon. I mistook you by your coat and waistcoat for that
patriarch."
"Young man," said Jemmy, with perfect composure, "'t win't do to judge
by appearances. As I wor a-coming up, says I to mysen, 'You're a
gentleman.' When I gotten a bit closer, says I, 'Nay, he's a dandy.' And
now that I heard thee voice, I knows thou'rt nowt but a jackass."
Jemmy was out with the hounds one day, along with Lord Wharncliffe and
Lord Beaumont and several of the gentry of the neighbourhood. It was
agreed amongst them, unknown to Jemmy, that he should be let into a
scrape, if possible. Accordingly, after the start, Lord Wharncliffe kept
near him, and led him into a field surrounded by a low, thick hedge--low
enough for Jupiter to clear without any trouble. On the other side of
the hedge in one place there was a drinking-pond for the cattle, five or
six feet deep, and full of water at the time. Lord Wharncliffe kept
close by Jemmy, and edged towards where the pond was; and then, putting
spurs to his horse, he leaped the fence, and Jemmy did the same to
Jupiter, and clearing the hedge in gallant style, came splashing into
the water, and rolled off Jupiter.
Lord Wharncliffe, when he saw Jemmy fairly in the middle of the pond,
turned back, and alighted, in order to assist him out of the water. He
found him half blinded with mud and dirt, trying to scramble out, his
clothes completely saturated. Jemmy managed to get out without
assistance, but it was some time before their united efforts could
extricate Jupiter.
Lord Beaumont offered Jemmy a change of clothes if he would go to his
house, but he would not hear of the proposal, declaring he would see the
day's sport over first; and so they rode on together towards the rest of
the party, who were halted near Rawcliffe Wood. The fox had been caught
after a short run, and the huntsmen were already beating after another.
Jemmy was greeted with a general titter. Captain Bolton laughed out, and
said, "Why, Jemmy, you've been fishing, not hunting. What have you
caught?"
Jemmy looked hard at him--he was in no good humour after his plunge--and
said, "I reckon there's a flat fish I know of that I'll catch some day."
"Why, Jemmy," said Lord Wharncliffe, laughing, "I saw you catch a
flounder."
"Ha! ha!" said the captain, "that's good! You've taken the shine out of
your smart clothes to-day, Jemmy."
"A little water will give it back to them," answered Hirst, sulkily.
"Jemmy," asked Captain Bolton, "did you think you were drowning in the
wash-tub? Did you say your prayers in it?"
"No," answered Jemmy, angrily, "I didn't; but what I was doing then was
wishing I'd got a contemptible puppy named Bolton in the pond with me,
that I might kick his breech."
Jemmy soon saw that he had been the victim of a planned trick, and he
determined to have his revenge. "I know very well that Lord Wharncliffe
led me o' purpose into t' pond--I could see't by his manner; but I'll be
even wi' him."
He did not carry his purpose into execution at once, lest he should
arouse suspicion, but about a month afterwards, when in company with
Lord Wharncliffe, he adroitly let drop that he had seen a number of
snipe on Rawcliffe moor. This moor, now enclosed, was then a wide, open
common, full of marshy places, and with here and there bogs covered with
a little green moss, deep holes full of peat water, not to be discerned
except by those who were well acquainted with them and the
treacherousness of their bright green covering. Lord Wharncliffe,
Captain Bolton, and some others, made up a party to shoot on the common
the following day, and met Jemmy, who undertook to show them where the
snipe most congregated.
They had a good day's sport, and when it fell dusk were returning home,
Jemmy beside Lord Wharncliffe, whom he engaged in conversation, and
Captain Bolton, with his gun over his shoulder, immediately behind,
joining in the conversation at intervals. Jemmy led the way direct to
one of these bog-holes, and on reaching the patch of moss adroitly
slipped on one side, and let Lord Wharncliffe and Captain Bolton walk
straight into it. The moss at once yielded, and both sank to their
breasts, and only kept their heads above water by spreading out their
arms on the moss. In this condition they were perfectly helpless. To
struggle was to endanger their lives, for if the web of moss were torn,
they must infallibly sink beneath it.
Jemmy looked at them from the firm ground with a malicious grin.
"Ha, ha! captain," said he, laughing; "art thou saying thy prayers in
yond wash-tub?"
"Go to the devil!" roared Captain Bolton.
"Nay," answered Jemmy, "thou'rt going to him as fast as thou can, unless
I pull thee out."
He held out his gun to Lord Wharncliffe, and assisted him from the hole.
"There, my lord, now you have tit for tat."
"Well, Mr. Hirst, I shall take care how I play with edged tools again.
But I think it is too bad of you to punish Captain Bolton as well as
me."
"Why, my lord, he seemed to enjoy the horse-pond so much that I thowt
I'd let him taste the bog-pit. I've no doubt it gives him a deal o'
pleasure."
"You old scarecrow!" said the captain, angrily. "I've a great mind to
shoot you."
As he was helping Captain Bolton out with his gun he said drily, "Sure
it's a rare funny sight to see a queer sole angling for a flat fish."
The immersed man little enjoyed the jokes at his expense, and he swore
at Jemmy. "Ah!" said that oddity, "I don't think thou'rt a fish worth
catching. Shall I fling him in again, my lord? He's nowt but what folks
would call a little common-place."
Jemmy's old housekeeper died, and he supplied her place by a strange
creature, nearly as great an oddity as himself, called Sarah, who for
many years had kept house for a rag-and-bone dealer at Howden, but who
at his death had returned to Rawcliffe, her native place, and was living
with her brother there when Jemmy engaged her.
Having made money by his speculations in corn and potatoes, he resolved
to retire from business. He invested £4000 in the funds and £2000 in the
bank, and lived on the interest. He was now forty-five years old.
An inactive life, however, did not suit him, so he turned his mind to
mechanics, and made several curious contrivances, some useful. He
constructed a windmill to thrash corn, but for this purpose it did not
answer, though it served for cutting up straw and chopping turnips.
His next contrivance was a carriage, the body of which was made of
wickerwork. It cost him a year's constant application to finish it, and
when completed it was calculated to cause a sensation. It was a huge
palanquin, with a top like an exaggerated Chinaman's hat, supported on
four iron rods, which were screwed into the shafts, the shafts running
the whole length of the carriage, and resting on springs connected with
the axle of the wheels. The sides and back of the carriage were made of
wickerwork matting. The axle-case was faced with a clock dial with
numbers, and hands connected with a piece of ingenious mechanism,
afterwards perfected and patented by another person, which told the
distance the carriage had gone by measuring the number of rotations made
by the wheels.
Jemmy used for his hunting-suit a lambskin hat, a rabbit-skin jacket, a
waistcoat made of the skins of drakes' necks with the feathers on, a
pair of list breeches, yellow, blue, black, and red, stockings of red
and white worsted, and yellow boots. His best room was furnished as
curiously as his person. Instead of pictures, the walls were hung round
with bits of old iron and coils of rope; in one place an old frying-pan,
in another a rusty sword, a piece of a chair, or a jug.
One evening, after a day's sport, he invited the party to join him for a
social evening, and the offer was eagerly accepted, as every one was
curious to see the interior of his house. He gave them a very fair
entertainment, and amused them all the evening with his jokes.
Immediately over Lord Wharncliffe's head was suspended a pair of horse's
blinkers.
"Do you wear these?" asked a Mr. Sadler who was present.
"No, sir, I do not; I keep them for donkeys of a peculiar make, who
stand on their hind legs and ask impertinent questions."
"What do you mean?" asked the young man, reddening. "Is that intended as
a personal remark?"
"Draw your own inferences," answered Jemmy, knocking the ashes out of
his pipe.
The young man was so offended that he demanded satisfaction for the
insult. The company tried hard to pacify him, but in vain. Jemmy then
whispered in Lord Wharncliffe's ear, and the latter immediately rose
from the table, and said, "Now, gentlemen, Mr. Hirst is quite willing to
give Mr. Sadler that satisfaction he desires. He has requested my
services as second. I have granted his wish. As soon as Mr. Sadler can
arrange with any gentleman to act as his second, I shall be happy to
arrange preliminaries with him."
Mr. Sadler having chosen a second, the belligerents were desired to
leave the room for a few moments until arrangements had been made for
the duel.
As they left the room Lord Wharncliffe whispered in the ear of one of
the party, "Follow Mr. Sadler into the other room, and take a bottle of
wine with you; get him to drink as much as possible, and we will manage
to make the affair end in fun."
The gentleman did as desired. Then Lord Wharncliffe and Jemmy, slipping
in by another door, proceeded to dress up a dummy that was in a closet
hard by in Jemmy's clothes.
Mr. Sadler was then told that all was ready, and he returned into the
room rather the worse for the liquor he had drunk.
The pistol was put into his hand, and he was stationed opposite the
dummy, which with outstretched arm pointed a pistol at him. The signal
was given, and Mr. Sadler fired; then Jemmy, who was secreted in a
closet hard by, pulled a string, and the dummy fell with a heavy thud
upon the floor.
Mr. Sadler, who thought he had killed his antagonist, was sobered
instantly, and was filled with remorse and fear. He rushed to the dead
man and then towards the door, then back to the corpse to see if life
were quite extinct. Then only, to his great relief, he found that the
supposed dead man was made of wood. The company burst into a roar of
laughter, and when he had sufficiently recovered from his bewilderment
he joined heartily in the mirth raised at his own expense. Jemmy,
emerging from his place of concealment, apologised for the offence he
had given, and both shook hands. The carouse was renewed with fresh
vigour, and the sun had risen an hour before the party broke up, and its
members unsteadily wended their way homewards.
Jemmy had bought a litter of pigs, and entertained the idea of teaching
them to act as setters in his shooting expeditions, and therefore spent
a considerable time every day in training them. There were only two that
he could make anything of. But he never could induce them to desist
from grunting. It was impossible to make them control their emotions
sufficiently to keep quiet, and this inveterate habit of course spoiled
them as setters.
When the litter was about six months old, one of the little pigs
discovered his potato garden, and that by putting its snout under the
lowest bar of the gate it could lift the gate so that the latch was
disengaged from the catch, and the gate swung open; by this means the
pig was able to get to the roots. Hirst saw the pig do this several
times, and he determined to stop the little game. He therefore ground
the blade of a scythe, and fixed it, with the sharp edge downwards, to
the lower bar.
Shortly after, Jemmy saw the pig go to the gate, but in lifting it off
the hasp the scythe-blade cut the end of the Snout off. Jemmy burst out
laughing, and called his old housekeeper to see the fun; but old Sarah
was more compassionate than her master, and begged him to kill the pig
and put it out of its pain.
The carriage did not altogether satisfy Jemmy; he therefore enlarged it
to double its former size. He made it so that, when necessary, he could
have a bed in it; and then he bought four Andalusian mules to draw it,
and with them he drove to Pontefract and Doncaster races, which he
attended every year, and created no small sensation along the roads and
on the course. Bear and bull baiting were favourite pastimes with him,
as was also cock-fighting. He kept two bulls and a bear for this
purpose. He used to call the bear Nicholas. It was a large savage
animal, and was always kept muzzled at home.
One morning, after it had been baited and had destroyed four dogs, he
took it something to eat, but it would not touch the meat. "Ah! thou'rt
sulky; then I mun gi'e thee a taste o' t' whip." So saying, he struck
the bear over the muzzle with a hunting-whip he carried in his hand.
He had no sooner done so than the bear sprang upon him, seized him, and
began to hug him. Jemmy roared for help, and a favourite dog rushed to
his assistance and seized Bruin by the ear. The bear let go Jemmy to
defend itself against the dog, and Jemmy, who had the breath nearly
squeezed out of him, managed to crawl beyond the reach of the beast. The
dog seeing his master safe, laid himself down by him, facing the bear,
to guard him from further attacks. Sarah found her master half-an-hour
after on the ground, unable to rise, and in great pain. She raised him,
assisted him to the house, and put him to bed. He was confined for three
weeks by the injuries he had received.