The Freaks of Phreex

"Well, didn't I take care of you all right?" laughed the Incubator

Baby, leading John Dough from the throne-room and up a broad flight of

marble stairs.

"Indeed you did," he answered, gratefully. "Really, my dear Chick, I

believe that dreadful kinglet would have eaten me but for you."

"'Course he would," said the Cherub, nodding gayly; "and won't he be

wild when he finds there are no pancakes and maple-syrup for tea?"

John stopped short. "Aren't there?" he asked. "Oh, Chick! I'm afraid

he'll punish you for deceiving him."

"I don't mind," declared the child. "No one shall eat a friend of

mine that I've given my promise to take care of. So come along, John

Dough, and don't worry. I've got a lovely room on the top floor of this

castle, and I'll share it with you."

[Illustration]

So John mounted more marble steps, until finally Chick brought him to a

handsome apartment on the third story.

"Here we are!" cried the Baby. "Now, make yourself at home, John, for

we needn't fear the kinglet until to-morrow morning, and then he'll

have forgotten that I fooled him."

Our hero's first act was to take off the Blunderer's heavy armor and

pile it in one corner of the room. When free from the weight of metal

he felt more like himself again, and walked to the window to view the

scenery.

"It's a pretty place, Chick," he remarked.

"Oh, the Isle is all right," answered the child. "It's the people here

that are all wrong, as you'll soon find out. Do you ever eat, John

Dough?"

"Never," said John.

"Then, while you're waiting here, I'll go over to the dairy and get my

milk for tea. You don't mind if I leave you for a few minutes, do you?"

"Not at all," he declared. "But it has just started to rain, outside;

you'll get wet, won't you?"

"That's nothing," laughed Chick. "I won't melt."

"It's different with me," said John, sadly. "If my gingerbread body got

soaked it would fall to pieces."

[Illustration: "HELLO, NEIGHBOR"]

That made the little one laugh again, and it ran merrily from the room

and left John Dough alone to stare out of the window. There was a

projecting cornice overhead, so he had pushed his head well out to

observe the pretty scenery, when suddenly he heard a voice say, in a

tone of astonishment:

"Hello, neighbor!"

Turning toward the left, he saw sticking out of the next window to

his own a long bald head that slanted up to a peak, underneath which

appeared a little withered face that was smiling in a most friendly

manner.

John bowed politely.

"Well, well," said the owner of the bald head. "Here's another

curiosity come to our island! Wait a minute, and I'll run in and make

your acquaintance." So presently the bald head, which was perched upon

the body of a little, dried-up looking man, entered John's room and

bowed politely.

"I'm Sir Pryse Bocks," he said, "and the remarkable thing about me is

that I'm an inventor, and a successful one. You, I perceive, are a

delicatessen; a friend in knead; I might say, a Pan-American. Ha, ha!"

"Pleased to make your acquaintance," returned John, bowing. "But do not

joke about my person, Sir Pryse. I'm proud of it."

"I respect your pride, sir," said the other. "It's bread in the bone,

doubtless. Ha, ha!"

John looked at him reproachfully, and the little man at once grew grave.

"This island is full of inventors," said he; "but they're all cranks,

and don't amount to anything--except me."

"What have you invented?" asked John.

"This!" said the other, taking a little tube from his pocket. "You will

notice that it often rains--it's raining now, if you'll look outside.

And the reason it rains is because the drops of water fall to the earth

by the attraction of gravitation."

"I suppose so," said John.

"Now, what do people usually do when it rains?" asked the little man.

"They grumble," said John.

"Yes, and they use umbrellas--_umbrellas_, mind you, to keep themselves

dry!"

"And that is quite sensible," declared John.

The bald-headed one gave a scornful laugh. "It's ridiculous!" he said,

angrily. "An umbrella is a big, clumsy thing, that the wind jerks

out of your hand, or turns inside out; and it's a nuisance to carry

it around; and people always borrow it and never bring it back. An

umbrella, sir, is a humbug! A relic of the Dark Ages! I've done away

with the use of umbrellas entirely, by means of this invention--this

little tube, which can be carried in one's pocket!"

He held up a small instrument that looked like a tin whistle.

"How curious!" said John.

"Isn't it? You see, within this tube is stored a Power of Repulsion

that overcomes the Attraction of Gravitation, and sends the rain-drops

flying upward again. You stick the tube in your hat-band and walk out

boldly into the rain. Immediately all the rain-drops shoot up into the

air, and before they can fall again you have passed on! It's always dry

where the wearer of this tube goes, for it protects him perfectly. And

when it stops raining, you put it in your pocket again and it's all

ready for another time. Isn't it great, sir? Isn't it wonderful? Isn't

the inventor of this tube the greatest man in the world?"

"I'd like to try it," said John, "for no one needs protection from the

rain more than I do. Being made of gingerbread, it would ruin me to get

wet."

"True," agreed the other. "I'll lend you the tube, with pleasure. Stick

it in your hat-band."

"I have no hat," said John; and then he remembered that he had left

both the baker's hat and his candy cane lying on the sands where he had

first fallen.

"Well, carry the tube in your hand, then," said the inventor. "It will

work just as well that way, but it's not so convenient."

So John took the tube; and having thanked the bald-headed man for his

kindness, he left the room and walked down the stairs and through the

big, empty hall, and so out into the courtyard.

The rain seemed to have driven every one in doors, for not a person

could he see.

[Illustration]

Holding the tube upright, he boldly walked into the rain; and it gave

him great pleasure to notice that not a drop fell near him. Indeed,

by looking upward, he could see the falling drops stop short and then

fly toward the clouds; and he began to believe that the bald-headed

inventor was really as great a man as he claimed to be.

After descending the slippery path through the rocks, he crossed the

patch of green, and at last reached the sandy shore, where he found the

baker's hat, soaked through by the rain. As he lifted it he saw the

crooked handle of the candy cane sticking out of the sand, and drew it

forth to find it in excellent condition, little of the dampness having

reached it.

But now, as John Dough began to retrace his steps, he discovered that

his feet were soft and swollen. For he had been walking on the damp

ground and through the wet grass; and although no rain had fallen upon

his body, his feet were getting to be in a dangerous condition, and the

licorice in them had become sticky. After he had recrossed the grass

and come to the edge of the rocks he began to be frightened, for bits

of his left heel now commenced to crumble and drop in the path; and

when he tried walking on his flabby toes, they were so soggy and soft

that he knew they would not last very long.

While he paused, bewildered, another calamity overtook him. For the

tube suddenly lost its power of repulsion and ceased to work, and the

rain-drops began to pelt his unprotected body and sink into his flesh.

He looked around with a groan of dismay, and discovered a round hole,

or tunnel, in the rock nearby. Staggering toward this, he entered the

tunnel and found that now no rain could reach him. The floor was smooth

and dry, and in the far distance he saw a light twinkling.

Not daring to walk farther upon his mushy feet, John got down on his

hands and knees and began crawling toward the farther end of the

tunnel. He made slow progress, in that position; but soon he heard a

noise of machinery, and felt the warm air of a furnace coming to meet

him. That gave him courage to proceed, and he crawled onward until he

had reached a large, circular chamber, where a tall man with whiskers

that resembled those of a billy-goat was busily working among a number

of machines.

"Hello!" this personage exclaimed, as he saw the gingerbread man. "What

have we here?"

The voice and eyes were alike kindly; so John told the man his story

and asked permission to dry his feet at the glowing furnace.

"Make yourself at home," said the man, and turned to his work again.

The place was lighted by electricity, and was warm and comfortable.

John put his feet as near to the furnace as he dared, and soon felt the

heat drying up his soaked feet. It was not long, indeed, before his

entire body was as crisp and solid as ever; and then our hero stood

upon his feet and found that the damage to his heel would not interfere

much with his walking.

[Illustration]

"What are you doing?" he asked the man.

"Making diamonds," replied the other, calmly. "I suppose I am the only

one in the world who ever succeeded in making real diamonds; but

people did not believe in me, you see, so they sent me to the Isle of

Phreex. Here I have manufactured the finest diamonds the world has ever

known, for no one interferes with my work. Look at these."

He threw back the lid of a large tin box, and John saw that it was full

to the brim with sparkling gems of a clear white color.

"Take some," said the man, offering him a handful. "They are of no

use to me here, because I cannot dispose of them. But I have the

satisfaction of making them, just the same. Help yourself!"

"No, thank you," said John. "I have no use for diamonds, any more than

you have."

"But the time may come when riches will be a great help to you," said

the man, and picking out three very big stones he began pressing them

into John Dough's gingerbread body, one after the other.

"There!" he exclaimed. "They are now safely concealed, and if you ever

need them you can dig them out and sell them. Those three stones would

be worth several thousand dollars if you ever get into the world again,

where diamonds are valued."

"You are very generous," said John.

"Oh, not at all, I assure you!" said the man, wagging his goatlike

beard with every word he spoke. "In this curious island there is no

value to anything whatever, not even to life. All I can do with my

diamonds here is to stick them into the kinglet's crown and sceptre;

so I'm getting a big stock of them laid by. Very soon I shall begin

studding the roof of the throne-room with diamonds, and it will be a

pretty sight to see them glittering in one mass."

"Well," said our hero, "if it has stopped raining, I believe I'll bid

you good-by."

"Never mind the rain," answered the man. "Here is a winding staircase

that leads directly upward into the castle. If you go that way, the

rain cannot reach you. The tunnel through which you entered is only

used for ventilation."

John thanked the good-natured diamond-maker and started to climb the

stairs. There were a good many steps, but after a while he came to a

gallery of the castle, and had little difficulty in finding the passage

that led to his own room.

[Illustration: THE MUSICIAN THREW HIMSELF UPON THE PIANO]

As he walked along he heard the sound of a piano, and paused at an open

door to peer within the room, for he imagined some one was pounding

upon the keys of the piano with a sledge-hammer. But immediately a

fluffy-haired man looked up and saw him, and the next instant pounced

upon the gingerbread man in much the same way that a cat would pounce

upon a rat, and seized him fast, drew him into the room, and closed and

locked the door.

John was astonished, but the fluffy-haired musician began pacing up and

down the room, swinging his arms and shouting:

"I have it! I have it at last! I am great! I am magnificent! I am

better than Vogner himself!" He paused to glare upon John. "Why don't

you shout, you baked idiot? Why don't you weep with joy?" he cried. "It

is great, I tell you! It is great!"

"What is great?" asked John.

"The symphonie! The divine symphonie, you heartless molasses-cake, or

devil's food, or whatever you are! And I composed it--_I_--Tietjamus

Toips! I am greater than Vogner!"

"I didn't hear it," said the gingerbread man.

The musician threw himself upon the piano, and produced a succession of

such remarkable sounds that John was surprised.

"Did you understand it?" demanded the fluffy-haired one, jumping up

again.

"No," said John.

"No! Of course not! No one can understand it. It is genius! It will be

played at all the great concerts. The critics will write columns in

praise of it. Some folks can understand Vogner a little. No one can

understand _me_ at all! I am wonderful! I am superb!"

"Well," said John, "I'm not a judge. It seemed to me like awful

discord."

The musician threw himself upon his knees and burst into tears.

"Thank you, my friend!--my _dear_ friend!" said he, between the sobs.

"Such praise gladdens my heart and makes me very happy! Ah! glorious

moment, in which I produce music that is not understood and sounds like

discord!"

John left the musician still shedding tears of happiness, and walked to

his room.

"The people of this island are certainly peculiar," he reflected; "and

I am very glad indeed that I am an ordinary gingerbread man, and not a

crank."

He found the bald-headed inventor of the power of repulsion awaiting

him in the room.

"Well, how did the tube please you? Is it not wonderful?" he inquired.

"It's wonderful enough when it works," said John; "but it suddenly

quit working, and nearly ruined me."

"Ah, the power became exhausted," returned the man, calmly. "But that

is nothing. It can be easily renewed."

"However," John remarked, "I think that whenever any one uses your tube

as a protection from the rain, he should also carry an umbrella to use

in case of accident."

[Illustration]

"An umbrella! Bah!" cried the inventor, and left the room in a rage,

slamming the door behind him.

John Dough and the Cherub · 第 28 / 47 题