"Kinglet, woman!" said the fat man, without opening his eyes.
"Your royal kinglet, I didn't mean to lose a single flutter o' flesh.
But my dog Duo got to quarrelling with himself and I got exercised in
my mind--"
"Oh, the loss is in your mind, is it?" interrupted the kinglet. "I
wouldn't mind the loss if I had not forbidden you to exercise at all,
even in your mind."
"I couldn't help it, your fudgesty--"
"Majesty, woman!" said the fat man, sleepily.
"My dog Duo got to quarrelling--"
"Bring us the dog, varlets, churls, and vassals!" screeched the
kinglet, in his shrill voice.
The guards stumbled over each other to obey; and presently they
returned leading such a curious animal that John Dough stared at it in
amazement.
It was a dog, without doubt; or rather, it was a dog's body with a head
and two legs at either end of it. So that when one end walked forward
the other end had to walk backward, and that made the back end growl
angrily. But the same end was not always the back end of the dog; for
first one head, and then the other, would prove strongest, and drag the
curious animal forward.
When this double dog, which was named Duo, was brought in, both heads
were snarling and barking in a very noisy manner. But however much
enraged they were, they could never get together to do one another
mischief.
[Illustration]
"Be silent!" yelled the kinglet, annoyed at the clamor.
But the dog's heads paid no attention to the command.
"Very well," said his Majesty; "I'll put a stop to your noise for good
and all! Here, you guards, fetch me the Royal Executioner!"
The fat lady began crying anew at this, and presently the door opened
and a young girl entered the hall. She was clothed in simple robes of
pure white, over which her loose brown hair flowed in a soft cloud.
Her eyes were large and dark and very gentle in expression, and her
cheeks were fair as a lily. In one hand the maid bore a long sword, the
naked blade of which shone brightly in the light. In the other hand was
a sharpening-stone, and as she bowed before the kinglet she rubbed the
stone gently against the keen edge of the blade.
[Illustration]
Although the dog's heads were still quarrelling, and Bebe Celeste still
weeping, it was upon John Dough that the Royal Executioner first turned
her eyes.
"I hope it isn't this one, your Majesty!" she said, in a voice of
disappointment; "for he won't bleed at all, being made of cake."
"I beg your pardon," exclaimed John, hastily. "I am not cake, but
gingerbread."
"It's just the same," she answered, sighing; "you wouldn't bleed if I
cut you into bits."
"Why are you so bloodthirsty?" asked John, looking reproachfully into
the girl's gentle eyes.
"Because I'm the Royal Executioner, I suppose," she answered. "I've
held the office ever since my father was destroyed by an earthquake;
but I've never yet executed a single person. The kinglet calls me in
about a dozen times a day, but something always happens to rob me of
my victim. I've worn out three sword blades, sharpening them, but I've
never carved anything yet!"
"Be of good cheer," said his Majesty, "for now you shall see blood flow
like water. This time I am fully resolved to be terrible. Cut me this
snarling cur into two parts!"
"What, the dog?" asked the girl, surprised. And Bebe began to scream
loudly; and the fat man woke up and shook his head, and Chick patted
both heads of the animal tenderly, and a guardsman cried out: "Oh, no,
your Majesty!"
[Illustration]
"And why not?" inquired the kinglet.
"Why, this is the most valuable creature in all your dominions!" said
the guard. "Do you desire to rob yourself of such a treasure, your
Majesty?"
The kinglet hesitated, and then jabbed the fat man with his sceptre.
"Is it so, Nebbie?" he asked.
"It is so, my Lord," answered the fat man. "If you want to butcher
anything, cut up a few of the Royal Guards, or mince the Failings,
or carve Chick, the Cherub. But the dog Duo is one of the remarkable
features of your kingdom, and should be preserved at all hazards. Why,
he's worth more than Bebe Celeste."
"That reminds me of Bebe," said the kinglet, looking at the fat one
sternly. "Take her away, guards, and stuff her with mashed potatoes
and pate de foi gras. If she doesn't regain those two ounces in three
days, she'll disgrace my kingdom, and I'll turn her over to the Royal
Executioner."
So the guards trundled away the platform on which the fat lady sat, and
the dog Duo followed, first one head leading, and then the other. And
now his Majesty threw off his ermine robe and laid down the sceptre and
scrambled out of the throne.
"The royal audience is ended for to-day," he said, "and now I'll go and
see if those cakes and maple-syrup are ready for tea. And see here,
you Incubator Baby, look after Sir John Dough, and mind that nobody
eats him. If there's one bite gone when I see him again I'll turn you
over to the Royal Executioner--and then there won't be any Incubator
Baby."
[Illustration]
Then his Majesty walked away, chuckling to himself in a very
disagreeable manner. At once the fat Nebbie rolled out of his low seat
and stood up, yawning and stretching out his arms.
"Our kinglet is a hard master," said he, with a sigh, "and I really
wish some one would get up a revolution and dethrone him. He's been
punching my ribs all day long, and I'll be black and blue by to-morrow
morning."
"He's cruel," said Chick, patting the fat man's hand, as if to comfort
him.
"Yet he's too tender-hearted to suit me," complained the lovely
Executioner. "If I could only shed a single drop of blood, I'd feel
that I am of some use in the world."
"How dreadful!" cried John, with a shudder.
"Oh, not at all!" said the girl. "For what's the object of being an
Executioner if one can't execute?" And she tucked the sword under her
arm and took out her handkerchief and went away weeping sorrowfully.
[Illustration]