do to git me off dot shmell. He sait dot de only ding vas to be perried
in de ground till de earth absorp de shmell; und he sait he vould tig
de hole und fix me in, if I vish. Vell, I dink dot is very goot of
Chake, und I tought if I can get me dot shmell off before Katrina cooms
home, I von't say any ding about dot liddle kat to anypody. So Chake
dig de hole, und I sit down in it und vas perried up to de neck; den
Chake sait he vas in a hurry und he must go to de willage, und he vent
avay. Booty soon kwick a fly lite on my face, und I koodn't prush him
off, cos my arms vas perried doo; und booty soon more as a hundret
flies und effery ding vas krawl all ofer my het, und I shpit and plow,
und vink my face dill I tink I vas gone crazy. Bimepy I heart a noise
doun de roat, und I looked und dere vas apoud every man, vooman, und
shildren in de willage, mit shpades, mit bic-axes, mit shuffles, mit
efery dings, und all runnin rite ub de hill to my house; in a minnit
more as dwenty vas in der yart, und ven dey see me perried to de chin,
und vinkin und shpitten at dem flies, dere eyes shtuck oud more as a
half a feet, und Dick Klaus sait, "_Vot vas you doin dere, Sockery?_"
Vell, I see dot dere vas no use drying to keep dot shdill, so I told
dem all aboud dot liddle kat; und, my chimminy cracious! you kood hear
dem fellows laff more as a mile.
You see dot shackass of a Chake Moser run und told dem in de willage
dot dere vas a man perried alive up to Kadahcut's, so of course
eferypody coom to git him oud.
Vell, dey tig me oud, und I trow away dem clothes, und vash, und vash;
but ven Katrina coom ad nide, I shmell so dot she mait me sleeb in de
parn for a whole veek.
I tink I shall moof avay; eferypody vants to know if I vant to py a
kat, und I don'd kan shtand dis much longer yet.
I VASH SO GLAD I VASH HERE!
A HUMOROUS RECITATION.
One who does not believe in immersion for baptism was holding a
protracted meeting, and one night preached on the subject of baptism.
In the course of his remarks he said that some believe it necessary
to go down into the water, and come up out of it, to be baptized.
But this he claimed to be fallacy; for the preposition "into" of the
Scripture should be rendered differently, as it does not mean _into_ at
all times. "Moses," he said, "we are told, went up into the mountain;
and the Saviour was taken up into a high mountain, etc. Now, we do not
suppose either went into a mountain, but went unto it. So with going
down into the water: it means simply going down close by or near to
the water, and being baptized in the ordinary way by sprinkling or
pouring." He carried this idea out fully, and in due season closed his
discourse, when an invitation was given for any one so disposed to rise
and express his thoughts. Quite a number of his brethren arose and
said they were glad they had been present on this occasion, that they
were well pleased with the sound sermon they had just heard, and felt
their souls greatly blessed. Finally, a corpulent gentleman of Teutonic
extraction, a stranger to all, arose and broke the silence that was
almost painful, as follows:--
"Mister Breacher, I is so glad I vash here to-night, for I has had
explained to my mint some dings dat I neffer could pelief before. Oh,
I is so glad dat into does not mean into at all, but shust close by or
near to; for now I can pelief many dings vot I could not pelief pefore.
We reat, Mr. Breacher, dat Taniel vash cast into de ten of lions, and
came out alife. Now I neffer could pelief dat, for wilet peasts would
shust eat him right off; but now it is fery clear to my mint. He vash
shust close py or near to, and tid not get into de ten at all. Oh, I
ish so glad I vash here to-night! Again, we reat dat de Heprew children
vash cast into de firish furnace, and dat always look like a peeg story
too, for they would have been purnt up; but it ish all blain to my mint
now, for dey was shust cast py or close to de firish furnace. Oh, I
vash so glad I vash here to-night! And den, Mr. Breacher, it ish said
dat Jonah vash cast into de sea, and taken into de whale's pelly. Now
I neffer could pelief dat. It alwish seemed to me to be a peeg fish
story, but it ish all blain to my mint now. He vash not into de whale's
pelly at all, but shump onto his pack and rode ashore. Oh, I vash so
glad I vash here to-night!
"And now, Mr. Breacher, if you will shust exblain two more bassages of
Scriptures, I shall be oh, so happy dot I vash here to-night. One of
dem ish vere it saish de vicked shall be cast into a lake dat burns mit
fire and primstone alwish. Oh, Mr. Breacher, shall I be cast into dat
lake if I am vicked, or shust close py or near to--shust near enough to
be comfortable? Oh, I hope you tell me I shall be cast only shust py
a good vays off, and I will pe so glad I vash here to-night. De oder
bassage is dat vich saish, blessed are they who do these commandments,
dat dey may have right to de dree of life, and enter in droo de gates
of de city, and not shust close py or near to,--shust near enough to
see vat I have lost,--and I shall pe so glad I vash here to-night!"
DOT SHLY LEEDLE RASKEL.
I kin saw you, you shly leedle raskel,
A-beekin' ad me drough dot shair!
Come here righd away now und kiss me--
You doughd I don't know you vas dere.
You all der dime hide from your fader,
Und subbose he can't see mit his eyes,
You vas goin' to fool me--eh, Fritzey?--
Und gafe me a grade big surprise?
Dot boy vas a rekular monkey--
Dere vas noding so high he don'd glimb;
Und his mudder, she says dot his drousers
Vants new bosoms in dem all der dime.
He vas schmard, dough, dot same leedle feller,
Und he sings all der vile like a lark,
From vonce he gids up in der mornin'
Dill ve drofe him to bed afder dark.
He's der bussiest von in der family,
Und I bed you de louder he sings
He vas raisin' der dickens mit some von--
He vas up to all manner of dings.
He vos beekin' away, dot young raskel,
Drough der shair--Moly Hoses! vot's dot?
Dot "son-of-gun" mit a sceesors
Is cut off der dail of der cat!
A JEW'S TROUBLE.
HURWOOD.
Vot a coundry dot is, anyvays! unt vot a peebles! Ye poor Shews don'd
got some quietness anyveres. Ve vas been persecooted! dot is vot it is.
Yust lisden vonce, vat droubles I haf by mineself.
In the vorst blace my name vos Isaacs--dot is my lasd name: my vrond
name vas Solomon, unt I keeps me a nice leedle cloding schtore in de
Powery. You oughd to seen it vonce! I got me eferyt'ing in dot schtore.
Vell, von day last veek a nice cushdomer, vot liefed in Yarsey, come
in, unt I sells him a peautiful coat very sheep. Von he pud id on, id
vas a leedle, _yust a leedle_, full preasded in de pack; bud I got dot
coat ub in my handt, so he did nod know it vas too pig enough. I dold
him dot vas _peautiful_ fid--yusd like it vas made for him!
"Of you don'd peleef dot," says I, "I galls my vife. Maria, don'd dot
coat fid dot shentlemans?"
"Yah, Solomon, dot vas a loafly fid, for sure!" said Maria.
So dot shentleman buy dot coat, and giefe me yust vot I asked, und
nefer said vonce, "I giefe you hafe of dot brice," or somedings like
dot, und I vas mad yust like a hornet dot I didn'd ask him dwice as
mooch!
But vot has all dot got to do mit my droubles?
Nix!
Veil, go ahade!
Von day I gone me oud for a leedle valk, und vas scmoking von of dose
real Hafana segars vot you buy dree for den cents, ven ub comes a pig,
bulled-headed mans, vot hafe his hair all viled off, und he busds me in
de schnood righd avay quick, pefore I know me some dings; unt, as my
nose don'd vas fery schmall, it hurd me like fury.
"Vot de madder is, ain'd it?" said I. "Vot for you hid me dot vay?"
"Pecause you vas a _Shew_; dot is vot de madder vas!" said that old
fighder.
"Vell, vot if I vas a Shew? I don'd do somedings by you! I don'd know
you anyvays."
Unt den he giefe id do me again righdt in my left ear.
"Dot ish pecause you vas a Shew vot _killed de Saviour_! Dot is vy I
hid you; und I'll busd efery hook nose vot I meed!"
"Vot hafe I got to do mit dot, anyvays? Id vas more ash a dousand years
ago ven dot habbened, und I vas nod borned yet! You pig shackass, vot
you means, anyvays?"
"Vell," says old schwell headt, "dot makes me nod different! I don'd
hear me noding about it _till lasd nightd_, unt I'm going to 'put a
headt' on every Shew I see, for doin' it!"
Vell, dot vas pig fool anyvays; so I left him and gone me home to
Maria, und she pud mustard boultice on my schmeller. I vill sent dot
feller up to blay "scheckers mit his nose," yust so soon as I catch him
again!
DER MULE SHTOOD ON DER STEAMBOAD DECK.
Der mule shtood on der steamboad deck,
For der land he wouldn't dread.
Dhey tied a halder rount his neck,
Und vacked him over der headt.
But obstinate and braced he shtood,
As born der scene do rule.
A creature of der holt-back brood,--
A shtubborn, shteadfast mule.
Dhey cursed and shwore, bud he vould not go
Undill he felt inclined;
Und dough dhey dundered blow on blow,
He aldered nod his mind.
Der boats-boy to der shore complained,
"Der varmint's bound do shtay!"
Shtill ubon dot olt mule's hide
Der sounding lash made blay.
His masder from der shore reblied,
"Der boads aboud do sail;
As oder means in vain you've dried,
Subbose you dwist his dail.
"I dhink dot dat vil magke him land."
Der boats-boy, brave, dough bale,
Den near drew mit oudstretched hand,
Do magke der dwist avail.
Dhen game a kick of thunder sound!
Dot boy--oh, vhere vas he?
Ask of der vaves dot far around
Beheld him in der sea.
For a moment nod a voice was heard;
Bud dot mule he vinked his eye,
As dhough to ask, to him occurred,
"How vas dot for high?"
ANON.
TEACHING HIM THE BUSINESS.
"Herman," said a Poydras-street merchant clothier, addressing his
clerk, "haf ve sold all of dose overgoats vat vas left over from last
vinter?"
"No, sir; dere vas dree of dem left yet."
"Vell, ve must sell 'em right avay, as the vinter vill not last, you
know, Herman. Pring me one uf de goats und I vill show you somedings
about de pisness. I vill tell you how we vill sell dem oud, und you
must learn de bisness, Hermann; de vinter vas gone, you know, und ve
hav had dose goats in de store more es seex years."
An eight-dollar overcoat was handed him by his clerk, and, smoothing it
out, he took a buckskin money-purse from the showcase, and stuffing it
full of paper, dropped it into one of the pockets.
"Now, Herman, my poy," he continued, "vatch me sell dot goat. I haf
sold over dirty-fife uv dem shust de same vay, und I vant to deech you
de pisness. Yen de nexd gustomer comes in de shop I vill show de way
Rube Hoffenstein, mine broder in Detroit, sells his cloding und udder
dings."
A few minutes later a negro, in quest of a suitable pair of cheap
shoes, entered the store. The proprietor advanced smiling, and
inquired--
"Vat is it you vish?"
"Yer got any cheap shoes hyar?" asked the negro.
"Blenty uf dem, my frient, blenty; at any brice you vant."
The negro stated that he wanted a pair of brogans; and soon his pedal
extremities were encased in them, and a bargain struck. As he was about
to leave, the proprietor called him back.
"I ain't gwine to buy nuffin' else. I'se got all I want," said the
negro sullenly.
"Dot may be so, my dear sir," replied the proprietor, "but I shust
vants you to look at dis goat. It vas de pure Russian wool, und dis
dime last year you doan got dot same goat for twenty-five dollars.
Mine gracious! cloding vas gone down to noding, and der vas no money
in de pisness any longer. You vant someding dot vill keep you from de
vedder, und make you feel varm as summer-dime. De gonsumption vas going
round, und de doctors dell me it vas de vedder. More den nine beobles
died round vere I lif last week. Dink of dot! Mine frient, dot goat
vas Russian vool, dick und hevy. Vy, Misder Jones, who owns der pank
on Canal Streed, took dot goat home mit him yesterday, und vore it all
day; but it vas a leedle dight agross de shoulders, und he brought it
pack shust a vile ago. Dry it on, my dear sir. Ah! dot vas all righd.
Misder Jones vas a rich man und he liked dot goat. How deep de pockets
vas! but it vas a leedle dight agross de shoulders."
The negro buttoned up the coat, thrust his hands in the pockets and
felt the purse. A peaceful smile played over his face when his touch
disclosed to his mind the contents of the pockets, but he choked down
his joy and inquired--
"Who did you say wore this hyar coat?"
"Vy, Misder Jones, vot owns de pank on Canal Streed.
"What yer gwine to ax for it?"
"Dwenty dollars."
"Dat's pow'ful high price fur dis coat, but I'll take it."
"Herman! here, wrap up this goat for de schentleman and drow in a
cravat; it vill make him look nice mit de ladies."
"Nebber mind, I'll keep de coat on," replied the negro; and pulling out
a roll of money he paid for it and left the store.
While he was around the next corner moaning over the stuffed purse,
Hoffenstein said to his clerk:--
"Herman, fix up anudder vun of dose goats de same vay; and doan forget
to dell dem dot Misder Jones vot run de pank on Canal Streed vore it
yesterday."
DER GOOD-LOOKIN SHNOW.
Oh! dot shnow, dot goot-lookin shnow,
Vhich makes von der shky out on tings below,
Und yoost on der haus vhere der shingles vas grow,
You come mit some coldness, vherefer you go;
Valtzin und pblayin und zinging along,--
Goot-lookin shnow, you dond cood done wrong.
Ofen of you make on some oldt gal's scheek,
It makes notting tifferent, ofer das shendlesom freak.
Goot-lookin shnow, von der glouds py der shky,
You vas bully mit cold vedder, und bully von high.
Oh! dot shnow, dot goot-lookin shnow,
Yoost dis vay und vot you make vhen you go;
Fhlyin aroundt, you got matness mit fun,
Und fhreeze makes der nose of efery von;
Lafein, runnin, mit gwickness go py,
Yoost shtobbin a leedle, den pooty gwick fhly;
Und efen der togs, dot vas out in der vet,
Vood shnab at der bieces vhich makes on dhere hedt.
Der peobles vas grazy, und caddles vood crow
Und say how you vas, you goot-lookin shnow.
Und so gwick you vas dhere, und der vedder did shnow,
Dhey shpeak out in dones so shweeder as low,
Und der shleigh-riders, too, vas gone py in der lite,
You dond cood saw dhem, dill quite out of site.
Schwimmen, shkimmen, fhlirdin dhey go
Rect on der tob of dot goot-lookin shnow.
Dot shnow vas vhite glean vhen it comes der shky down,
Und yoost so muddy like mud, vhen it comes of der town;
To been valked on py more as dwo hoondret fife feet,
Dill gwick, vas yoost lookin so phlack like der shtreet.
Vell, I vas yoost lookin vonce so goot like dot shnow,
But I tumbled me off, und vay I did go;
Nicht so glean, like der mut dot growed on der shtreet,
I vas shcraped von der poots off, of der peobles I meet.
Dinkin und shworin, I like of I die,
To been shtiff like a mackerel mit no von to buy;
Vhile I trink me some lager to got a shquare meal,
I vas afraid von der ghosts mine pody vood shteal.
Got in Himmel! how ish dot? Vas I gone down so low,
Vhen I vonce vas so vhiteness like dot goot-lookin shnow?
Yah, for dhrue, I vas told you, I vas vonce pure like dot shnow,
Mit blaindy of lofe, von mine heart out vas grow;
I dink von dhem efery von, and dhey dink von me too,
Und I vas humpugged mit fhladeries, dot's yoost vot dhey do.
Mine Fadder, Mudder, Gabruder der same,
Vas loose me some sympadies, und forget vonce mine name;
Und dot raskals who comes of me in der tarkness py nite,
Vood gone more as a plocks to got out of mine site,
Der coat von mine leeks und poots of mine toe,
Vas not gleaner as doze of dot goot-lookin shnow.
It was gweer it shood been dot dot goot-lookin shnow
Vood make on a pad mans mit novhere to go;
Und how gweer it vood been, vhen yoost pehindt tay,
Ofer der hail und das vind mit mine pody vood pblay,
Hobbin, skibben, und me dedt like an eel--
Mine mat vas got oop, never a vord could I shpeil,
To been zeen py der peobles who vas valk der town,
Who vas dickled mit pbleasures, of der shnow vas come down,
I yoost lay der ground, und gone died mit a woe,
Mid a pedgwilts und billows, von der goot-lookin shnow.
HOW JAKE SCHNEIDER WENT BLIND.
In Germantown, near Philadelphia, several years ago, a native,
simple-minded Dutchman, named Jacob Schneider, kept a liquor and
lager-beer saloon. Jacob was not only fond of drinking lager with
his customers, but would not refuse either corn-juice, red-eye, or
Jersey lightning, when asked to imbibe thereof in a social way--the
customer, of course, paying an extra half-dime for Jacob's drink. One
would not suppose that this friendly habit could, by any possibility,
bring trouble and vexation upon honest Jacob; but it did, as we shall
presently show.
One eventful night it was observed that Schneider had shut up his
saloon and gone home full an hour earlier than usual. Being asked, next
day, what was the matter, he told the following droll story:--
"I shut up mine blace pecause I vas mat as ter tyfel, and vas humpugged
into der pargain. I'll tell you 'pout it. Yer see, dree or four young
shcamps gomes into mine saloon, and one says to me, 'Yacob, you got
some fresh lager?' I says 'yaas,' and I draws der lager; anoder von
says he vants gards, and I prings de gards, and da blays gards. Pimeby
noder says, 'Yacob, old poy, let's have some red-eye! and mind you,
Yacob, pring an extra glass for yourself.' Vell den, I prings der
pottle of ret-eye, and da drinks two dree dimes, and I drinks mit 'em
two dree dimes; and I gets so tam trunk dat I lies down on der pench
and goes to shleep. Ven I vakes up, der room ish dark as der tyfel, put
I hears der young chaps calling der gards; von says, 'bass!' nodder
says, 'left power!--right power!' den nodder von, he says, 'uker'd!'
and shwears like a drooper. Da vas all blaying at der taple, shust as
da vas ven I goes to shleep, but mine eyes vas nix--I could shust see
notting at all--the room vas bitch dark. So I dinks I vas plind, and I
feel pad, and I cry out, 'Oh, mine Gott! I p'lieve I'm shtruck plind!'
Den der young chaps leaves der taple and gomes vhere I vas, and makes
p'leeve da very sorry. One says, 'Poor Yacob! you can no see--vat
vill der poor man's vamerly do!' Nodder call me poor cuss, and says
I no pusiness to trink noding stronger dan lager. I got mat den--mat
as dunder--and I says to him, 'Vy, den, you vants me to drink it mit
you? I p'leeve you put shtuff in der liquor to make me plind!' Den he
laughs at me, and says I needn't trink if I didn't pe a mind to. Shust
den von little poy gomes to der door mit a lantern, and I finds der
drick da vas blaying me--I see shust as goot as ever! Der rascals had
plow out der lights, and make p'leeve play uker to vool me! I told 'em
'twas all humpug, and they petter glear out, for I vouldn't light up no
more. Dat's vat mine shaloon vas shut up for."
THE DUTCHMAN AND THE RAVEN.
Vonce upon a midnite dreary, as I pondered, veak and veary,
Ofer many a glass of lager, vot I drank in days of yore,
In my bed I vas faschd nabbing, ven I dream I heert some dapping,
As if some von gently drowing brickbats at my voodshed door;
"Dis dot Snyder poy," I muttered, "trying to preak my voodshed door--
Only dis, und noding more."
Yah, disdinctly I remember, it was in dot pleak December,
Und each seberate dying ember vos gone oud long pefore;
Dot nide I felt quoide heardy, for Louise vent to a bardy,
Und of cause I drunk more lager as I nefer did pefore;
But schdill I know dot somedings sthruck my oudside voodshed door--
Only dot, und noding more.
From oud mine bed I makes von jumb, und see vot vos dis drubble,
Mine Got! vot makes mine legs so veak? I feel so not pefore;
I sckarce could valk, I could not talk, mine mind was in a muddle;
But I dought vas Johnny Snyder dryin' to open schud mine door,
Und mit cabbage-sdumps to hit me, as he often doned pefore--
Dis I said, und noding more.
Py und py I vos got praver; den I takes mine gun and sabre,
Und schloly valks, midout mine pants, up to mine voodshed door;
Und dare for von half hour I sdood mitout no power,
So veak I vos I could not lift mine hands up any more;
But at vonce I got more polder, und I opened vide de door--
Plack as darkness, noding more.
Deep into dot plackness peeping, all around mine voodshed creeping,
Dreaming dreams no Dutchman efer dare to dream pefore.
Der silence vos unbroken, und der sdillness gave no token;
But I hear somepody spoken, "You vill vare dem pants no more."
"Vot is dot?" I cried, and someding answered back the vord, "No more."
Merely dis, und noding more.
Back indo my bedroom turning, all mine sole mitin me burning,
Den vonce more I heert a tapping, someding louder as pefore.
Now I cries out, "Dunder vedder! vot the devil ish the madder?"
Surely dis ain't Johnny Snyder hitting cabbage mit mine door?
No! I dink dis cannot be, for I bet, by geminee!
'Twas the vind, und noding more.
Oben here I flung mine vindow, ven dere all at vonce came into
A ding just like a big plack cat I never saw pefore;
Von fearful vink he gafe me, not von moment sdoped nor sdayed he;
His pack he humped, und den he jumped upon mine bedroom door.
Dare he sat, und noding more.
The air dew vas so funny, for it schmells no more like honey,
Und den I squease mine nose hard until it vas quide sore;
Den vonce I cried mid all my mide, "I vant to vare mine pants to-night,
Und of you dink dot I vos dighd, chust chumped down of dot floor;"
Again I heard it gently say: "You'll vare dem pants no more."
Dis it said, und noding more.
"Profid," said I, "ding of efil; profid sdill, if dorg or devil,
For vot you comes into mine house? I vant you here no more;
Leafe no ding here as a doken of dot lie vich you hafe spoken;
You go home, I vas not joking, for I told you vonce pefore,
Chust dake dot smell frum out mine house, und jump down off mine door!"
But it vinked, und said no more.
THE DUTCHMAN WHO GAVE MRS. SCUDDER THE SMALL-POX.
Some years ago, a droll sort of a Dutchman was the driver of a stage in
New Jersey, and he passed daily through the small hamlet of Jericho.
One morning, just as the vehicle was starting from Squash Point, a
person came up and requested the driver to take in a small box, and
"leave it at Mrs. Scudder's, third house on the left after you get into
Jericho."
"Yaas, oh yaas, Mr. Ellis, I knows der haus!" said the driver," I
pleeve der voman dakes in vashin', vor I always sees her mit her
clothes hung out."
"You're right, that's the place," said Ellis (for that was the man's
name), "she washes for one of the steamboats."
The box was thereupon duly deposited in the front boot, the driver took
his 'leven-penny bit for carrying it, and the stage started on its
winding way. In an hour or two, the four or five houses comprising the
village of Jericho hove in sight. In front of one of them, near the
door, a tall, muscular woman was engaged at a wash-tub; while lines of
white linen, fluttering in the wind, ornamented the adjoining lawn. The
stage stopped at the gate, when the following ludicrous dialogue, and
attendant circumstances, took place:--
Driver--Is dis Miss Scutter's haus?
Woman [looking up, without stopping her work,]--Yes, I'm Mrs. Scudder.
Driver--I'fe got der small pox in der stage; vill you come out and dake
it?
Woman [suddenly throwing down the garment she was washing]--Got the
small-pox! Mercy on me! why do you stop here, you wicked man? You'd
better be off, quick as you can. [Runs into the house.]
Driver mutters to himself--I vonder vat's der matter mit der fool; I'fe
goot mind to drow it over der fence.
Upon second thought, he takes the box, gets off the stage, and carries
it into the house. But in an instant he reappears, followed by a broom
with an enraged woman at the end of it, who is shouting in a loud
voice--
"You git out of this! clear yourself quicker! You've no business to
come here exposing decent people to the small-pox; what do you mean by
it?"
"I dells you it's der shmall _pox_!" exclaimed the Dutchman,
emphasising the word box as plainly as he could--"Ton't you
versteh?--der shmall _pox_ dat Misther Ellis sends to you."
But Mrs. Scudder was too much excited to comprehend this explanation,
even if she had listened to it. Having it fixed in her mind that there
was a case of small-pox on the stage, and that the driver was asking
her to take into the house a passenger thus afflicted, her indignation
knew no bounds. "Clear out!" exclaimed she, excitedly, "I'll call the
men folks if you don't clear!" and then shouting at the top of her
voice, "Ike! you Ike! where are you?" Ike soon made his appearance, and
inquired--
"W-what's the matter, mother?"
The driver answered--"I dells you now onct more, for der last time,
I'fe got der shmall pox; and Misther Ellis he dells me to gif it to
Miss Scutter, and if dat vrow ish Miss Scutter, vy she no dake der pox?"
By this time several of the passengers had got off the stage to see the
fun, and one of them explained to Mrs. Scudder that it was a box, and
not small-pox, that the driver wished to leave with her.
The woman had become so thoroughly frightened that she was still
incredulous, until a bright idea struck Ike.
"Oh, mother!" exclaimed he," I know what 'tis--it's Madame Ellis's box
of laces, sent to be done up."