AN UNSCIENTIFIC DIALOGUE.

(_On a highly Uninteresting Topic._)

_First Aspiring Political Economist_ (_picking his way cautiously_).

What the Bimetallists maintain is this: that by fixing an artificial

ratio between the relative values of gold and silver, you somehow (_a

little vaguely_) keep up prices; and so, at least,--so I fancy,--assist

the circulation of capital. At all events, that is what I take M. EMILE

DE LAVELEYE to mean. (_Tentatively._) You see that, don't you?

_Second Aspiring Political Economist._ Not a bit of it. Why, EMILE DE

LAVELEYE is an ass. (_Emphatically._) GIFFEN says so. And you can't have

a higher authority than GIFFEN (_clinching the matter_). Why, he's Hon.

Assistant Deputy Secretary to the Board of Commerce; (_with animation_)

in fact, he says that all Bimetallists are hopeless lunatics, and, in my

opinion, he's about right.

_Third Aspiring Political Economist._ I don't see that at all. But if

you are going to settle the matter by merely quoting names, what have

you got to say to FOXWELL, the London Professor? He's a Bimetallist, and

no mistake.

_Second Aspiring Political Economist._ "Got to say?" Why, ask LEVIN of

Cambridge what he thinks of him. LEVIN backs up GIFFEN in every word he

says, and I agree with both of them. How can you have two standards?

(_Explicitly._) The thing is preposterous.

_First Aspiring Political Economist._ It is all very well to lay down

the law in that fashion, but it will not dispose of facts. You may quote

GIFFEN, or LEVIN, or anyone you like, but they will not be able to do

away with the circumstance, that prices are regulated by the quantity of

money in circulation (_with a little hesitation_); at least, that is

what I understand the other side to maintain.

_Second Aspiring Political Economist._ Sheer nonsense. How does the

quantity of money you possess affect the price you pay for a commodity?

The fact of your having twenty sovereigns in your purse won't make your

butcher charge you an extra halfpenny a pound for a leg of mutton! That

must be clear to any fool!

_First Aspiring Political Economist._ But you don't understand. It's

numbers that do it. They mean, if thirty millions of people, each have

twenty sovereigns a-piece in their purses (_doubtfully_), _then_, I

suppose, the butchers would raise the price of their meat. At least,

that's what I fancy they imply when they talk of an "artificial

currency" raising prices (_with some vagueness_), or is it "artificial

prices" creating an increased currency. I couldn't _quite_ follow them

in this. But I am sure, whichever of the two views was expressed by M.

EMILE DE LAVELEYE, that one had, no doubt, a great deal of sound

argument to back it.

_Third Aspiring Political Economist._ I think you miss the point. Take

an illustration. Say you arrive at a cannibal island with ten thousand

complete sets of evening dress clothes, and that another ship, just

before the arrival of yours, has taken the last ten-pound-note off the

island, how, supposing there was to be a native rush to obtain one of

your suits, would the absence of any money to pay for them affect their

market value? I mayn't have got it quite correctly, but this, or

something like it, is one of the cases that GIFFEN brings forward to

prove his point. The matter, however, appears to me to be a little

complicated.

_Second Aspiring Political Economist._ Not in the least. It proves the

humbug of the Bimetallic position up to the hilt. Of course, you must

assume, that the cannibals desire to dress in evening clothes. I confess

that has to be considered, and then the question lies in a nutshell.

There can't be two opinions about it.

_First Aspiring Political Economist._ Well, to me, though, of course, I

am willing to admit there _may_ be something in it, I can't say that the

matter is, at first sight, convincingly clear. (_Candidly._) My chief

difficulty is, I confess, to arrive at any definite conclusion with

myself, as to what "Bimetallism" really means, and what it does not; and

I own I feel still vague as to the two questions of the influence of the

quantity of money on prices, or the price of a commodity on the value of

money respectively, and, though I carefully read all that appears in the

daily papers on the subject, I am compelled to own that I do not seem to

be nearer a solution of the perplexing difficulty. However, it is, no

doubt, a highly absorbing, if not a very useful, subject for

investigation.

[_Left investigating it as Curtain falls._

* * * * *

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, February 1, 1890 · 第 19 / 22 题