Well, I was pretty tired when I got out, and didn't feel like walking
back.
So I asked one of the drivers to let me hitch behind.
"Where's your fare?" says he.
"Ain't got none," says I.
"Then you can't ride," says he. "But look here, I'll tell you what I'll
do. Take those buckets and go to that well up the road, and water that
horse and I'll let you ride free."
And he pointed to a skinny-looking little horse.
[Illustration]
I got two buckets and the horse drank them off quick as a wink. I got
four, I got six, I got ten, a dozen, always with the same result.
Finally the fellow who owned the well refused to let me have any more
water, and I went back and told the driver that the man who leased the
Great Lakes from St. Peter had locked them up and gone to bed.
"Well," says he, "you didn't fill your contract and I can't let you
ride."
As I was going away, a fellow stepped up to me and says:
"You darn fool, they brought all the horses in the stable out and you've
watered them one by one."
[Illustration]
Say, I don't think I ever told you of the time I went to England. You
see, I arrived at Liverpool and took the train for London.
The train seemed to me to be going remarkably fast for that country and
I got sort of uneasy.
At the first stop, I went to the guard and said:
"Say, this is pretty fast traveling, isn't it?"
"Oh, no, you needn't be alarmed, we never run off the line here."
"Oh, it's not that I'm afraid of," says I. "I'm afraid you'll run off
your blamed little island."
[Illustration]
While out for a stroll the other afternoon, I reached the foot of a
steep hill just in time to see a fellow with an automobile come skating
down faster than he intended.
When he had reached the bottom and the dust had settled, I walked over
and asked him if he was hurt.
He said he wasn't, but looked ruefully at his auto.
"This darned thing cost a cool two thousand the other day, but I'd be
willing to sell it for fifty now," says he.
I looked it over and it seemed a pretty likely sort of machine and not
very much hurt, so I took him up.
He got out of the way mighty quick, and three minutes after he
disappeared two mounted policemen came dashing up.
"Ha!" says one of them, "we've got you. Come right along."
Do you know, I had a deuce of a time in convincing them that it was not
I who had stolen the machine?