(_A Story in Scenes._)
SCENE V.--_A General Waiting-room at Clapham Junction._ CURPHEW _is
leaning against the mantelpiece_. Mr. TOOVEY _is seated on one of the
horsehair chairs against the wall_.
_Mr. Toovey (to himself)._ I do wish he'd sit down, and not look at me
in that austere way! (_Aloud._) Won't you take a chair? It would be so
much more comfortable.
[_He shifts his seat uneasily._
_Curphew (stiffly)._ Thanks, Mr. TOOVEY, but I'd rather stand--for so
short a time. (_A pause._) Well, Sir, you have something to say to me,
I believe?
_Mr. Toov. (to himself)._ Oh dear, I'm almost sorry now I--he won't
make sufficient allowances for me. (_Aloud, after another pause._) The
fact is, Mr. CURPHEW, I--I've just made a--a very painful discovery,
which--is there any water in that decanter? because I--I feel a little
thirsty.
[CURPHEW _pours him out a glass of water, which he sips_.
_Curph._ Come, Sir, we needn't beat about the bush. I think I
can spare you the preliminaries. I suppose you've heard about the
Eldorado?
_Mr. Toov. (to himself)._ He knows already! These journalists find out
everything. (_Aloud._) I--I have indeed, but I assure you that, up to
the very moment my nephew informed me, I had no more suspicion----
_Curph._ You naturally consider that I ought to have told you at once,
but the fact is, I--well, I had some reason to doubt whether Mrs.
TOOVEY----
_Mr. Toov._ Oh, you were quite right, it would never have done--never
have done. I haven't breathed a word to Mrs. TOOVEY myself as yet.
I was afraid I might be obliged to this morning. She discovered that
dreadful Eldorado programme in one of my pockets, and was curious,
very naturally curious, as to why I had kept it, but I passed it
off--I managed to pass it off. I--I thought it better, at all events,
till--till I had talked it over with you.
_Curph. (to himself, relieved)._ He takes it wonderfully well. I
shouldn't be surprised if I could talk him over. (_Aloud._) Oh,
decidedly, Sir. And may I ask you what your own views are?
_Mr. Toov._ I--I don't know what to think. For a man in my position
to have even the remotest connection with--with a London music-hall!
Wouldn't it be considered scandalous, or at least indecorous, if it
were to leak out now? Shouldn't I be regarded as--as inconsistent, for
example?
_Curph._ Oh, no one could reproach _you_, at all events, Sir!
_Mr. Toov. (to himself)._ And I thought he was going to be so hard
on me! (_Aloud._) I am glad you take that view of it--yes, I can't be
held responsible for what I did in absolute ignorance; but, now that I
_do_ know, I can't go on, can I?--after a lifetime spent in condemning
such entertainments!
_Curph._ But are you quite sure, Sir, that your condemnation was based
on any real foundation; mayn't you have been too ready to think the
worst? Have you ever troubled yourself to inquire into the way they
were conducted?
_Mr. Toov. (to himself, in astonishment)._ Why, he's actually making
excuses for them! (_Aloud._) I have always been given to understand
that they were most improper places, Sir; that was sufficient for
me--quite sufficient!
_Curph._ I daresay I have no right to speak; but you may not be aware
that all music-halls are now subject to the strictest supervision. And
a body like the London County Council is not likely to sanction any
impropriety in the entertainments.
_Mr. Toov. (to himself)._ If I could only persuade myself that I might
keep the shares with a good conscience! To give up three hundred
and fifty a year, without necessity! I wonder what he would say.
(_Aloud._) True, that didn't occur to me before; and the London County
Council, they wouldn't encourage anything really----If I could only
be sure--and I'm open to conviction--I hope I'm always open to
conviction.
[Illustration: "I drop into a music-hall?"]
_Curph. (to himself)._ He's coming round; he's not such a pig-headed
old Pharisee as I thought. (_Aloud._) I am sure you are. You are not
the man to condemn any form of amusement, however harmless, merely
because you find no attraction in it yourself.
_Mr. Toov._ No, no. And I see the force of what you say; and if I
could only once satisfy myself that the entertainment was really
harmless----
_Curph. (to himself)._ He couldn't very well object to _my_ part
of it--it's an idea, and worth trying. (_Aloud._) My dear Sir, why
_shouldn't_ you? In any case I should terminate my connection with the
music-hall as soon as possible.
_Mr. Toov. (disappointed)._ Would you? Then you _do_ think----? But
the sacrifice, my dear young friend, it--it's a great deal of money to
give up!
_Curph. (lightly)._ Oh, that's of no consequence. I shouldn't think of
that, for a moment!
_Mr. Toov. (to himself, annoyed)._ It's all very well for him to talk
like that, but it's _my_ sacrifice, and I _do_ think of it! (_Aloud._)
But--but wouldn't it be a little Quixotic to withdraw from this
Eldorado, supposing I found there was no moral objection to it, eh?
_Curph._ I thought you would be the first to insist that the Eldorado
should be given up! Surely, Sir, when I tell you that I love your
daughter; that I hope, though I have not spoken as yet, to enter your
family some day as your son-in-law, you will look at it differently?
_Mr. Toov. (to himself)._ He does want to marry our THEA? CORNELIA
will he delighted--delighted, but I really can't allow him to dictate
to me whether to sell the shares or not! (_Aloud, with dignity._) My
good young friend, I have lived longer than you in the world, and you
will permit me to say that if, after investigation, I see no cause to
disapprove of the Eldorado, there is no reason that I can discover
why _you_ should hesitate to enter my family. I--I must act on my own
judgment--entirely on my own judgment!
_Curph. (to himself)._ He _is_ an old trump! Who would have thought
he'd be so reasonable. (_Aloud, overjoyed._) My dear Sir, how can
I thank you? That is all I ask--more than I could possibly have
expected. And I was about to suggest that you might drop into the
Eldorado some evening this week and judge for yourself.
_Mr. Toov. (recoiling in consternation)._ I? I drop into a music-hall?
Oh, I couldn't, indeed! Why, I never was in such a place in all my
life. And if anybody were to see me there!
_Curph._ You need not be seen at all. There are private boxes where no
one would notice you, I could easily get them to send you one, if you
like.
_Mr. Toov. (to himself)._ What a power the Press is, to be sure!
I remember CHARLES said that newspaper writers could get seats for
everything. (_Aloud._) Really, I hardly know what to say; it's so very
contrary to all my habits, and then--to go alone. Now if _you_ would
only accompany me----
_Curph._ You forget, Sir, that's quite impossible. _I_ can't come in
the box with you!
_Mr. Toov. (to himself)._ There it is--it's against his principles to
go himself, and yet he expects _me_ to! (_Aloud, peevishly._) Then why
are you so anxious to have _me_ go, eh?
_Curph._ Why? Because there are Mrs. TOOVEY'S prejudices to be
considered, and I'm anxious that you should be in a position to assure
her from your own personal experience that----
_Mr. Toov._ Oh, my dear young friend, if I did go, I don't think I
could ever mention such an experience as that to Mrs. TOOVEY. She--she
might fail to understand that I merely went for the satisfaction of my
own conscience.
_Curph._ She might, of course. So long as you satisfy yourself, then.
And--what night will suit you best?
_Mr. Toov._ You're in such a hurry, young man. I--I never said I
should go. I'm not at all sure that I _can_ go; but if I did allow
myself to venture, it would have to be some evening when my wife--let
me see, on Saturday she's going out to some special meeting of her
Zenana Mission Committee, I know. It had better be Saturday, if at
all--if at all.
_Curph. (making a note)._ Very well. I will see you have a box for
that evening, and I hope you will manage to go. But there's a train
coming in--I must really be off. Good-bye, Sir, and very many thanks
for the kind and generous way in which you have treated me. I am
very glad we have had this explanation, and thoroughly understand one
another. Good-bye--good-bye!
[_He shakes_ Mr. TOOVEY'S _hand with cordial gratitude, and rushes out_.
_Mr. Toov. (looking after him in some mystification)._ A most
high-minded young man, but a little too officious. And I don't
understand why he makes such a point of my going to this Eldorado
_now_. But, if I do go, I mayn't see anything to disapprove of; and,
if I don't, I shall keep the shares--whether he likes it or not. He
may be a very worthy young man, but I doubt whether he's quite a man
of the world!