_The Etiquette of Wearing Jewels_
The emphasis on “casual living,” in our day, does not destroy the need
for more formal occasions. On the contrary, indeed, the woman who
has been informal in various types of summer apparel may feel even
more thrilled at the opportunity to put on an evening gown, with the
appropriate jewelry. And what jewelry, she may well ask, should be worn
in more relaxed and casual hours?
Misery, they say—or at least Shakespeare said—acquaints a man with
strange bedfellows; and democracy acquaints a woman with strange
costumes. The variety of “casual clothes” is limited only by the panorama
of color and the ingenuity of the designer. Yet, whatever garments a
woman may have chosen to put on, the probability is that she will wish to
add to their harmony the grace notes of a jewel.
Informal clothes are usually worn for informal hours, which naturally
call for a touch of ornament. Festive occasions even more strongly
suggest the glamour of jewels. Yet in no field are women more at a loss
than in the etiquette of jewelry. Few need to inquire about the proper
combinations of outfits and accessories. It is unnecessary to caution the
young girl, putting on her first evening gown, that she must not wear
her sport shoes. No more need her mother be told not to serve canapés
wearing the kitchen apron she put on while preparing them. But when it
comes to jewelry, to selecting the jewels that are appropriate to the
occasion, most women have only the haziest idea. Yet if they discover
that they are not adorned in keeping with the function, their day is
clouded.
_En Route_
In traveling, by plane or even by train for a weekend in the country,
only tailored jewelry should be worn. Large diamond pieces are definitely
out of bounds, even in the subdued hum of a dining car. I repeat that the
one exception, now and forever, is the combination of the engagement ring
and the wedding ring. This is always as appropriate as pleasant.
_Country Weekend_
If the journey takes a woman to be a guest for the weekend, it is wise
for her to ascertain her hostess’s plans. While there may be in store
a restful time of relaxation, when one may make oneself at home and do
as one wishes, it may also be that the hostess has made certain plans.
She may have invited friends for a cocktail party, or a garden party, to
meet the visitor. There may even be a formal dinner party in prospect, in
honor of the guest—who must, of course, be prepared with clothes and with
jewelry to match the occasion, and do her hostess justice.
_The Garden Party_
Given in the summer, usually out of the city, a garden party is a
lighthearted affair. Short dinner gowns, colorful cocktail dresses or
separates are best enhanced by jewels of light texture. Jewelry of
twisted gold wire conveys this effect; or the gold wire used as setting
for diamond or pearls. Like the flowers in colorful profusion around,
jewels with stones of different colors are in good taste, providing
of course that the colors are in harmony. An all-white costume will
not do justice to diamonds; if a woman looks attractive in white, she
should wear with it colored stones or pearls. Sapphires, however, may be
combined with diamonds, most pleasantly with a fair complexion; on a dark
beauty there should be rubies and diamonds set in gold.
A sense of lightness, even of airy delicacy, should be maintained in the
adornment. One’s richest array of jewels should not be worn.
_At the Beach_
If the weekend is at a resort, or includes a trip to the water, another
sort of jewelry comes to mind.
Sunbacks, sports dresses, slacks, accord better with tailored gold than
with diamonds. Massive gold bracelets with charms may be attractive;
but they should be balanced by simpler earclips of the same metal. Hoop
earrings may be worn, if not too large. Large hoop earrings should dangle
only from the ears of an exotic dancer.
On the beach precious stones will seem pretentious. Besides, jewels
should not be subjected to the multiplex dangers of surf and sand. A
bathing suit leaves the body largely to be its own ornament, but may
be charmingly enhanced by such accessories as straw flowers, plastic
ornaments, ivory seahorses and colored seashells.
_On the Golf Course_
On the golf course, whatever a woman’s score for the eighteen holes, she
wants her jewelry to be at par. Diamonds, of course, are not even for
duffers. A golfer may well be wearing a tailored sports ensemble, which
means that gold jewelry is in good taste. It should preferably be small,
however, especially in a mixed foursome, so as to keep the adornment
secondary to the game. It should be smart while seemingly functional.
There may be a neat gold monogram pin on the blouse, tailored gold
earclips, even a fairly heavy gold pinkie ring. No bracelet, to interfere
with or jingle during the swing. Crossed golf clubs might make a gold
brooch. Gold pins may be designed to hold the tees. A gold pin usually
sheds its glow upon the complexion; and it adds highlights to the sports
costume.
A simple gold wrist watch on a leather strap is serviceable, unobtrusive,
and in quiet good taste.
_At the Races_
A visit to the race track becomes a special event when it includes the
Kentucky Derby, the French Grand Prix or Ascot. Hats and gowns are
often bought especially for these events; they should be accompanied by
accordant jewelry. Here a woman may display her most colorful jewels.
Rubies and sapphires will be resplendent, but colored stones of all sorts
will brighten the scene. A pearl necklace may be becomingly worn. Long
earrings, however, and diamond necklaces should be reserved for the
party that will follow the race. Particularly if the wearer’s horse has
won.
If a horse of one’s own is entered in the race, this may be made a part
of the design of the jewels. An imposing pin may be set with precious
stones in the colors of the stable. Or the horse itself may be designed
in diamonds; such a jewel can be worn proudly even away from the turf.
I once designed a beautiful set of jewelry for the Duchess of S——, whose
stable colors were yellow, blue, and white. Whenever one of her horses
ran, she wore this parure, brooch, bracelet and earclips of canary
diamonds, white diamonds, and sapphires from Kashmir. She told me that
invariably her horses won. “Once,” she said, “I forgot to put on the
jewelry, and my horse finished out of the money.”
Whether she has a horse, or wins her bets, or not, every woman that wears
beautiful and appropriate jewelry has good luck.
_Business Luncheons_
There are occasions when a business woman must pay special attention to
her jewels. She must seek to convey the impression of dignity and good
sense and avoid the frivolous.
At a business luncheon, whether it consists of two persons or a small
group, the business to be transacted is of less immediate significance
than the friendly spirit of good will the occasion should engender. A
woman—with her sex still not wholly accepted as on a par with men in
the business world, especially in what are referred to as the upper
echelons—must feel at ease, and create a good impression. This is made
easier by her knowledge that she is pleasant to look upon, impeccably
dressed and adorned. Simple jewelry is best, with gold plainly visible
though not oversize. A simple necklace of pearls is highly appropriate,
with not more than one precious stone upon the hands.
_The Charity Luncheon_
At least once in every year the woman who does not work—along with
many who do—may be called upon to attend a charity luncheon. The woman
attending such a luncheon may be grouped at table with her close friends,
but she will meet or at least be seen by many others. The occasion,
therefore, calls for a degree of elegance. The jewels should be well
matched; pearls are to be preferred.
If a woman possesses a distinctive jewel, one that might be considered a
conversation piece, this is the occasion for wearing it. Especially is
this true if the entire table is not taken by close friends. There should
be no such display of diamonds as to make distinctions invidious; but a
well-designed jewel or an attractive parure offers a pleasant opening for
conversation, and mutual interest in conversation makes for friendly ease
among strangers at the table.
_Opening Night_
Opening nights at the theatre are always gala occasions. A premiere of a
great ballet company is perhaps even more festive. Most elegant of all is
the first night at the horse show, or the opening of the season at the
opera. For such events, one appears in one’s most elaborate jewels.
The more festive the occasion, unfortunately, the greater the opportunity
for faux pas. Cartoons of the “Keeping Up With the Joneses” variety often
show a woman who does not distinguish between wearing the best jewelry
and wearing the most. An observant eye at the openings will note that
such caricatures have their counterparts in real life.
Every woman of taste—regardless of wealth or social status—is a collector
of jewelry. Whether the pieces she has gathered be costume jewels or
precious ones, each woman who knows the importance of appearance has her
treasure chest. And those who can afford individual workmanship, and
jewels constructed in personal design, select their jeweler at least as
carefully as their decorator or their milliner.
_Matching the Gown_
Among the treasures of her jewel chest, the woman will select with a
discerning eye. If she is to wear a new gown made for the opening, it is
well to try the jewels on, with the gown, in advance. If she finds that
a necklace with a pendant, or pendant parts, graces the décolletage,
even the most beautiful pendant earclips should not tempt her to wear
them. Such earclips are probably adjustable so that the pendants can be
removed, and the upper motifs worn to grace the ear lobes. On the other
hand, if a tiara is in the cherished jewel collection, it may now be
taken forth and worn. Then a brilliant clip may be set directly on the
shoulder, above the décolletage. This skinpin admirably breaks the long
line from tiara to décolleté gown. If the evening gown is embroidered,
however, the clip should be left in the box. The various possible
combinations should be tried, and examined carefully in the mirror,
before the outfit is complete.
_Matching the Man_
An opening night is one of the few occasions, in our increasingly
informal times, when the gentleman will embrace the opportunity to
blossom forth in evening clothes, with white tie. The opera opening
recalls the olden grandeur; the diamond horseshoe of boxes still deserves
the name, for accompanying the gentleman in his most formal attire comes
the lady in her most glamorous jewels. These are unquestionably diamonds.
_Some Basic Rules_
If no tiara is worn, diamonds may be used as ornaments in the hair, as
earclips, as necklaces, as bracelets. While the diamond is the basic gem
in the jewelry, other precious stones may accompany it, such as rubies,
emeralds and sapphires. They may be set around a large central diamond;
or they may be the center stones, with smaller diamonds of different
shapes set around—so that the brilliance of the one and the deep color of
the other will interact in a fireplay of beauty. Of course, the stones
must be of a color that will harmonize with the gown—in all likelihood,
the gown was ordered to harmonize with the chosen gems.
It must be repeated that elaborate jewelry does not mean a quantity of
jewels. One brooch, which may be a large rose, will suffice; she may have
other beautiful bracelets, but the discriminating woman will wear just
one, which has been carefully made or chosen for the shape and size of
her arm, to stay precisely where its beauty will most enhance her lines.
The diamond bracelet should not be worn over gloves, unless these are not
removed for the entire evening. A two-piece evening glove is available,
the hand of which may be doffed, so that the remainder becomes a long
sleeve over which the bracelet is worn. Women whose arms taper sharply to
the wrist may find that such a glove helps to maintain the bracelet at
the proper place on the arm.
A diamond clip should not be worn on a fur coat, jacket, or stole. For
then either it is put aside, hanging over the back of the chair at a
restaurant or in a closet at a private home, or when the coat is taken
off the clip must be removed and reattached to the gown. One seems
ostentatious disregard; the other, ostentatious concern.
A proper decision as to what to wear and what to leave at home helps make
the occasion of an opening a source of memorable satisfaction.
_The Dinner Party_
Such a gathering usually brings together a significant part of one’s
personal world. Well chosen jewelry will confirm a woman’s standing in
that community, and it will be a source of gratification to her husband
and to her hosts if she is tastefully adorned. Wearing one’s best jewelry
and finest gown is a gracious way of paying tribute to one’s hostess, as
well as doing one’s duty as a guest, to help make the party a success.
At the dinner party a parure, a matching ensemble, is quite attractive.
At the opera the more elaborate jewels can be enjoyed from farther
away; by most, any one person’s jewels are seen but for a glance or at
a distance. But here, there is opportunity to observe the matching of
stones or of the balanced jewels in a parure. While one jewel may contain
stones of various colors, there should not be such variety from jewel to
jewel; to be avoided, for example, are such combinations as a sapphire
bracelet with a ruby brooch or an emerald necklace with a turquoise
bracelet. And the colors of the jewels, as always, must harmonize with
one’s gown and one’s complexion.
_The Watch_
No woman should wear a leather strap for a wrist watch with an evening
gown. It would completely break the spell of elegance. If no watch with
matched strap of bejewelled metal is in the treasure chest, the watch
should be kept at home or—for sheer utility—in the purse. The watch for
evening wear has its functional aspects concealed. Its face is almost
hidden in precious stones, or may be so encased that the jewel must be
opened. It is worn less as a timepiece than as a bracelet, or perhaps a
brooch.
_The Cigarette Case_
One intrusion on the elegance of a formal dinner is the too frequent
practice by men of offering a lady in evening gown a cigarette from a
crumpled paper package. One might as well offer candy from a subway
stand in its paper container. The hostess has not proffered her food
from the grocery bag. It is expected that the food will be attractively
served; when a dish is a delight to the eye, it is more delectable upon
the palate. Similarly a cigarette should be taken from a case that has
aesthetic qualities.
_The Hostess_
The hostess at a formal dinner has of course greater responsibility than
her guests. She should make quite clear the degree of formality intended,
to prevent the bother and the embarrassment of calls to learn what sort
of clothes one should wear. Beyond that, the hostess should be aware, in
at least a general way, of what jewelry her guests can afford and are
likely to wear, and adorn herself within that range. Above all, she must
be sure not to wear more elaborate jewelry than her most important guest.
The considerate hostess will be in good taste, inconspicuous, content
to have her guests admired. The successful party is that at which the
hostess is most unobtrusive, until everyone realizes what a good time she
has made it possible for them to have.
The one exception to this is an occasion at which the party is really
given by the host, to mark an event important in the hostess’s life,
such as a birthday or an anniversary or other time when her husband may
wish to present her with a jeweled token. Then, for the special part of
the evening, she may properly be the focus of attention, the sparkling
cynosure of friendly eyes. But after “For she’s a jolly good fellow!” has
been duly sung, the hostess should gracefully and unobtrusively become
once more the catalyst of the evening, the aid in producing the desired
reaction among the various elements. In recognition of her husband’s love
and thoughtfulness, she should of course have him put upon her the newly
given jewel.
_At the White House_
There are various occasions on which one may be privileged to be invited
to the White House. For all of them, a woman must remember, in selecting
her dress and jewels, that she is a living symbol of her own or her
husband’s significance. Again, her jewels must be unostentatious, but
befitting dignity and position.
For a White House luncheon, the neckline will not be low, hence no
elaborate necklace will be worn. Gold should be seen on the jewels,
accented with a few diamonds. Pearls with diamonds are also effectively
in place. Always there is distinction, as I have said, in one earclip
with a black pearl, one earclip with a white, while a black and a white
pearl are set together in a finger ring.
For a White House cocktail party, jewelry with diamonds and multicolored
stones may be worn. Still more appropriate, with the simple cocktail
dress, is a parure. An especially effective set is a pearl necklace with
a diamond clasp on each side, and matching earclips, bracelet, and ring.
_The President’s Dinner_
For a formal dinner at the White House, marked by the presence of
the President, diamond jewelry is the only kind to wear. The guest’s
prominence and influence may be emphasized to the fullest degree in
the elaborateness of the jewelry chosen. And this is one of the rare
occasions when a woman need not be worried lest she outshine the boss’s
wife. The President, after all, is the servant of the people.
The glamour and the resplendent brilliance of such a dinner must come
mainly from the guests. The President and the First Lady will affect
a more modest attitude, so as to give the guests full opportunity for
display. She is an unusual woman who will not take that opportunity!
The most elaborate of all White House occasions is the Inauguration
Dinner. For this, and for various international balls, to which the heads
of the nations’ embassies are invited, there is an established set of
rules of protocol. One must have these in mind, as well as one’s own
position, before determining what sort of jewels to wear.
_The Captain’s Dinner_
On an ocean voyage, one encounters a ruler as absolute as any throned
monarch. The captain is usually most genial, but he is the man
upon whose shoulders rests total responsibility for the vessel, the
passengers, and the crew. He is an accessible ruler, however, and invites
many in his shipbound world to dine with him.
Cocktails in the Captain’s private suite may precede the dinner. There
will be no time for a change of clothes between, so one must go to the
cocktail party prepared for dinner. And it will be a feast for the eyes
as well, with many parts of the world represented. Each woman will be
adorned in accordance with the customs of her land. And each must keep
in mind that she is, in some measure, an ambassador. Most persons abroad
have no way of judging America save through prejudiced newspaper stories
and flashy Hollywood films. Among the films Hollywood sends abroad are
the grim gangster melodramas and teenage delinquency films and the gaudy
sentimental dream-stories with happy, wealthy endings. Our paintings
and our literature give a truer picture of real Americans and for the
direct, most meaningful impressions on the largest number of people,
there are only our soldiers and our tourists. In spite of spread stories
of military misbehavior (good news is no news) and cartoons of uncouth
tourists, Americans abroad are in the main as good-natured and as decent
as they are at home. The Captain’s dinner is a good place to make the
pleasing first impression.
Women make a spectacle of splendor there. The Maharanees are attired
in delicate draped saris, six yards or more long, with Indian jewels
exquisitely and finely set in bright yellow gold. The Chinese ladies
wear elaborately embroidered mandarin robes, tight-fitting and slit at
the sides, with smooth green jade jewelry worn more smooth by loving
generations. The English ladies will wear many sapphires, that jewel
deservedly popular with them, for it is most becoming to light hair and
fair complexions. The American woman must equally represent the charm and
beauty of her land. A wide range of jewels is appropriate here, within
the limits of moderation and good taste.
_Embassy Parties_
In the capitals of the world, next to the formal functions of the
government itself, come the parties at the embassies. Just as the
embassies in Washington and the Ambassadors at the United Nations in New
York hold festive parties on their national holidays, so in other lands
important American holidays are celebrated by the United States Embassy.
Perhaps the most famous of these is the annual party for that special
American holiday, Thanksgiving.
An embassy party, however, is festive rather than official. The key
is color. Diamonds will naturally flash and sparkle, elegance will
prevail; but amid the brilliants there is opportunity for the display of
other precious stones. As always, the central factor from which other
considerations radiate is the wearer’s complexion. This has already
determined the choice of emerald, ruby, or sapphire as the gem around
which to build a parure. The choice of the parure leads to the color
of the evening gown, which, even if mainly white, may well be touched
with the chosen color. A matched necklace of the chosen precious stone
interspersed with diamonds is admirable. Pearls are in place, but
carefully chosen, so that their tint has part in the total harmony.
An American woman may, of course always within the bounds of good taste,
wear somewhat more elaborate jewelry if the party is at a foreign
embassy. If it is at the United States Embassy, she will do better, as an
American citizen, to wear a more modest set of jewels, graciously giving
consideration to the guests from other lands. In a sense, every American
woman at a United States Embassy party is hostess. She has in part
probably been invited for this reason; keeping it in mind will help her
select the right jewels.
_Meeting Royalty_
There has been a spread of royal houses across the continents, in the
tumultuous years marked by two World Wars. It may well be that, in homes
in the United States or abroad, a woman will be invited to a gathering
at which a member of the nobility or of a royal family will be present.
Whether the person is in actual power or dethroned by the vicissitudes
of revolution, there is no need to wear more elaborate jewels than the
occasion in itself calls for. A woman should always be herself, at her
best; there is no need to seek better than that best for any nobleman.
The effort would be undemocratic; the result would be overdone. Good
taste, and the requirements of the particular party, formal or informal,
should reign.
Good taste does suggest one specific warning: under the circumstances,
in deference to the noble guest, a woman should refrain from wearing a
tiara, or any head jewel resembling a coronet.
_Coronation_
A coronation, or a royal wedding—which usually includes the coronation of
the one marrying into the reigning house—is a special function, growing
less frequent in our strangely mixed times. The accession of Grace Kelly,
however, to become Princess of Monaco, shows that these occasions may
still spread their glamour wide.
At such events, the type of diadem or coronet each person may wear is
strictly defined in regulations that for centuries have been built up
around the aristocracy in various lands. Manuals describe the ceremonial
and the regalia in detail. An untitled woman privileged to be present
will wear nothing but diamonds and precious and semiprecious stones;
imitation jewelry is out of place. If she has a large diamond necklace,
with pendants, there will be diamond earclips; if the necklace is a
choker, the earclip may have pear-shaped diamond pendant or emerald or
pearl drops. A beautiful diamond bracelet and ring will complete the
regal costume.
_A Queen’s Crown_
The monarch’s crown, and often his consort’s or his queen’s, has of
course been handed down from the heads of those that ruled before.
Occasionally there is a deviation from the tradition, as at the bridal
coronation of Queen Geraldine of Albania. Geraldine was a Roman Catholic
countess betrothed to a Mohammedan king. A royal crown usually bears a
symbol of the monarch’s faith incorporated into its design; there are
religious motifs in the ornamentation. In this case, naturally, such
motifs and symbolism were not to be involved.
The honor of designing Queen Geraldine’s crown was entrusted to me. My
problem was to establish a royal but not a religious motif. I found
it in the crest of the kings of Albania. This bears the stylized head
of a rare mountain ram, which roams the snowy peaks of the beautiful
Albanian mountains. A sculptured head of the ram I had encrusted with
diamonds and set in the centre of the tiara; this tapered down to a
border of white roses made of diamonds, the leaves fashioned of diamond
baguettes—a decorative and distinctive diamond crown for the decorative
and distinguished Queen Geraldine.
_When Every Woman is Queen_
There is one day on which every woman is queen: her bridal day—the day
when all others yield place and do her deference. And she must remember
that a queen comports herself with dignity, yet is always gracious.
While to the guests a wedding is mainly a social gathering, it is also a
religious occasion, and to the bridal pair a sacred service. The bride
therefore, especially at the formal evening wedding, will wear only
jewelry in white, diamonds or pearls. As the symbolism of the marriage
will be spread with the long veil and bound into the wedding ring, jewels
should be modest and few.
Earclips should be small, and carefully chosen, of diamonds in simple
design. If a bracelet is worn, it should be on the right arm. The left
arm and hand should be bare of ornament, the engagement ring being
transferred, before the service, to stay on the right hand until the
groom has slipped the wedding band on his bride’s finger. No wrist watch
should be worn; on this night the groom is guardian of the hours.
A small pin in appropriate design, with diamonds and pearls, may gleam on
the bosom. A four-leaf clover pattern, flowerets, lilies of the valley,
a small circle of diamonds symbolizing endless love, two hearts of
diamonds: any of these may be wrought, in diamonds or pearls or various
combinations of the two, for an added touch of appropriate beauty.
The corsage or flower arrangement of the bride should be planned with
thought of the jewels she will be wearing.
A morning wedding is less formal than the evening wedding, and one in
the afternoon more informal still. With the informal dress for a morning
marriage, a gold clip and gold jewelry are in place. In the afternoon,
or in the morning if it is planned to depart at once on the honeymoon,
a hat or a cap-like covering may be worn. Precious stones other than
diamonds are suitable with such a garb, but should preferably be of one
color, selected to blend with the wedding ensemble. With a light suit or
long-sleeve dress, no bracelet is desired. An evening marriage is more
formal, more elaborate, but never more festive; at any practical hour
there is joy at a wedding, and there should be jeweled beauty for the
bride.
_The Bridesmaids_
The bridesmaids should recognize that they are present to provide a
beautiful frame for a beautiful picture. When the bouquet and the garter
have been tossed and the toasted couple has gone, the bridesmaids
may have moments of their own; but at the wedding they are charming
accessories. As such, they should blend into the pattern set by the
bride. The bride-to-be, in fact, has selected the color scheme that the
bridesmaids will carefully follow. If they do not all have gowns of the
same design, these should be planned carefully so that no one outshines
the others, or draws attention from the bride.
This balance should be maintained also, in the bridesmaids’ choice of
jewels. It may be that a simple pin or pair of earclips will be a gift to
each bridesmaid; such a jewel should of course be worn. If any necklace
is worn, it should be small. Pearl or gold earclips, without pendants,
should be chosen to blend with the person and the costume, not to stand
out. A small gold clip, with perhaps one precious stone or a small
pattern, will not be too conspicuous. There may be one gold bracelet, not
wide. Such jewels will preserve the individual grace of the bridesmaid
while softening her into the harmony of the whole, as a background of
youth and loveliness for the bride.
_The Mother of the Bride_
As every mother knows, her proudest moment is not that of her own
wedding, but that when she watches her daughter being wed. This is the
altar of her dreams. The mother of the bride symbolizes the continuance
of tradition, the unity of the family, the onward flow of the race.
She will dominate the hour before the ceremony, and she will continue
to receive congratulations and good wishes as she presides over the
festivity long after the bride and groom have slipped away.
The mother of the bride may therefore wear more elaborate and more
colorful jewelry than the bride herself. The bride is adorned for the
occasion, her mother is adorned for the guests. The mother may wear,
then, important and imposing items: earclips, necklace, ring (not too
many rings!), bracelet, and brooch. Equally she may choose among her
jewels those that together show to best advantage, diamonds combined with
rubies, sapphires, or what she will. Good taste will be her criterion;
her desire, to make her daughter as proud as she is happy. There may
perhaps also be the suggestion in her costume that, mother though she is,
she still possesses freshness, vitality, and youth.
Even at the most formal wedding, however, the mother should not wear
a tiara unless it is a treasured heirloom and thus a matter of family
tradition.
What has been said of the mother of the bride holds as well—with a touch
more of simplicity—for the mother of the groom.
_The Wedding Guests_
A late afternoon wedding in a church may be followed by a dinner in a
hotel or hall or home, nearby; or the formal ceremony at night might
be performed in the special room of the hotel at which the dinner is to
take place. Usually the movement is directly from the ceremony to the
celebration.
In Europe, when days were bright and frontiers uncurtained, there was
frequently time allowed after the ceremony for dresses to be changed
before the party. More decorative or elaborate gowns were put on, not
infrequently picturesque local or national costumes—and livelier jewels.
Sometimes this practice is allowed in the United States, especially when
an afternoon wedding in June is held outdoors, on the lawn or in the
garden.
Then the change should be into brighter colors. Each bridesmaid can again
blossom in her own individuality. Gold gleams at the ears, around the
neck. Heirlooms and other special pieces may add to one’s adornment.
There is open field, now, in anticipation of the next wedding. There is
no need to fear outshining the bride; she is already far away, in body
and mind, with the man to whom she is giving her richest jewel.
_The Newborn_
A newborn child should not be presented with an important piece of
jewelry, unless this has been specifically left for that occasion by the
will of a wealthy grandfather or maiden great-aunt.
The babe will smile just as pleasantly at the more appropriate charm
adorned with its birthstone, or a lucky locket, or an amulet to protect
it against evil. The month in which, the day on which, and the star
under which a child is born, all have their special stones. These may be
incorporated separately, according as the donor evaluates their power—or
all together, if the donor wishes to take no chances—in a little jewel.
More specifically religious symbols, or tokens of a saint or a guardian
angel, are of course appropriate. A peaceful animal, such as a lamb, in
enamel outlined in gold, or itself golden, makes a fitting gift for the
newborn child.
Thus the rules of jewelry etiquette begin at the beginning of life.
_The Anniversary_
Naturally, as the anniversaries roll around, adding on new year after
year, a woman wants to continue looking and feeling young. For the effect
of youth, flower motifs in the jewelry ensemble are the most flattering.
When these are made out of diamonds and colored stones, a little
imagination can combine them beautifully in a flower cluster or corsage.
Thus another piece of flower jewelry is always welcome; it may not only
be worn, but most appropriately be given, at an anniversary.
_Table of Anniversary Gifts_
For those who wish to observe wedding anniversaries with an appropriate
gift, they are here listed.
_Anniversary of Wedding_ _Gift_
Third Crystal
Fifth Silver
Tenth Diamond
Eleventh Gold or silver jewelry
Twelfth Pearls or colored gems
Fourteenth Gold
Twentieth Platinum
Twenty-fifth Silver Jubilee
Thirtieth Diamond
Thirty-fifth Jade
Fortieth Ruby
Forty-fifth Sapphire
Fiftieth Golden Jubilee
Fifty-fifth Emerald
Sixtieth Diamond Jubilee
For those who prefer to observe the older, less commercialized—at least,
unmodernized—associations, here is the traditional list:
Fifth Wooden
Tenth Tin
Fifteenth Crystal
Twentieth China
Twenty-fifth Silver
Fiftieth Golden
Sixtieth Diamond
While these associations may help suggest a gift, they should not be felt
as in any way binding. The desire of the woman, the taste of the man, the
discovery of a superb jewel in a shop, or a talk with a designer, may any
of them shape the decision and the gift. A flower design, as I have said,
is always attractive. And if one comes upon a fine one, why wait for an
anniversary? Alice looked up in Wonderland to remark that she preferred
unbirthday presents to birthday presents, because there could be so many
more of them. An unexpected gift can be a bright surprise, and make any
day a rich occasion.
_The More Solemn Time_
A wedding and a christening form occasions when happiness and piety are
intertwined. On other religious occasions, the gaiety gives way to
solemnity, or is overcome by sadness. At these graver times, there is a
concordant change in the selection of jewels.
_Audience with the Pope_
A telephone call and a friendly word may admit one to a group audience
with the Pope. This may be a happy, but it is also an awesome occasion,
for the Pope is the avowed divinely appointed supreme authority of the
longest-lasting institution in human history, the Roman Catholic Church.
The procedure surrounding such an audience is set down and long
established. A woman who enters the audience chamber does not come to be
noticed, much less admired; she is there to participate in a service.
The solemnity and significance of the occasion make all adornment out of
place, with the exception of very simple jewelry of black jet.
_In Mourning_
At funerals and for visits of condolence, dark clothing should be
accompanied by very few if any jewels. It is a gesture of sympathy to the
bereaved to come to them unadorned.
In many countries it is the custom for the bereaved to put away all their
bright gems and colored jewelry, for the entire period of mourning.
Special jewelry is made for the mourning months. This may include a
memorial ring in gold, with some token of the beloved dead. Otherwise,
the jewelry for this period will be limited to pieces made of black
enamel and jet. During the period of semi-mourning, which extends for the
second six months, the more unobtrusive colors may be chosen from the
jewel chest, and begin to reappear. But a full year will pass, save for
most exceptional circumstances, before the bright constellation of jewels
again takes the ascendant.
_Other Observations_
A few more general observations may be made, in the field of the
etiquette of jewelry.
The time of day has a share in the determination of the jewelry. Just
as a gourmet never smokes before the coffee, so a woman of taste never
wears diamonds before lunch. In the evening, conversely, save on the most
informal occasions such as a surprise party or an outing, she will not
wear a tailored piece of leather, silver, or wood.
_Color Combinations_
Gems of various colors may be combined on a single piece, but it is
inharmonious to wear two jewels of differently colored stones. Thus
a tiara of rubies will clash with a necklace of emeralds; a sapphire
bracelet will war against a pair of ruby earclips. The colors may not be
at odds, but the jewels instead of blending will vie with one another;
the effect will be of discord instead of harmony. Sets of matching jewels
enhance one another, and ameliorate the wearer’s measure of beauty.
_Restraint_
Jewels in too many places create a confused rather than a blending
effect. If earclips, necklace and a dress clip are worn, a jeweled comb
or hair-clasp will add an excessive touch, unless the jeweled part is
visible only from the back. An exception to this is the tiara, which
adds regal height and dignity, but of course a tiara is worn only with a
décolleté gown on a most formal occasion. If a tiara is worn, the other
jewels should match it in period design, antique, classical, romantic, or
modernistic.
_Eyeglasses_
I have already mentioned eyeglasses. The simpler these are, the better.
Certainly they should not gleam with gold nor glitter with rhinestones
when one is wearing earclips. The meretricious sparkle of the eyeglass
rims draws attention from the earclips—which is the reverse of the proper
procedure, for well designed clips can lure attention away from the
glasses.
_The Lorgnette_
A woman who wears eyeglasses will be pleasantly surprised if, for more
formal occasions, she tries the effects of the lorgnon or lorgnette.
Whereas eyeglasses, fixed upon the face, tend to fight with the features
or with other accessories, the lifted lorgnette becomes not only an
adornment but a weapon. As much as the once universal fan, it can play a
part in the charms of coquetry, and add to the eloquence of the various
gestures of gay conversation or romance. In itself, the lorgnette can be
a beautiful jewel, in gold or platinum and precious stones. In the hands
of a graceful woman, it can considerably embellish her beauty, and is an
adjunct to an evening’s enjoyment that should be more widely employed.
_The Corsage_
There are many festive occasions on which a corsage is a fit and
flattering decoration. It will, however, weaken the effect of a pin or a
clip nearby. Variations in position, of either the clip or the corsage,
may preserve the full values of each.
A corsage need not always adorn a dress at the shoulder. It may be
fastened at the waist, or on the evening bag, or even, if properly sized,
on the back of the wrist. If it does seem especially becoming at the
shoulder, or if the woman wishes to thank the donor by wearing it thus
prominently, then the clip may be the ornament that is transferred. It
may find a suitable place on the bag, the belt, the veil, the hair. A
band of velvet around the wrist, of the same color as the dress, may have
the clip caught into its bowknot. If the clip is of diamonds, it may be
attached to a pearl necklace or bracelet. In any of these ways, and more,
the clip and the corsage may be made not to clash but to combine for
beauty.
_Embroidery_
On an embroidered blouse it is best not to wear jewelry. Certainly no
brooch. Perhaps a skinpin, judiciously placed above the blouse, can add
to the harmony. This, and earclips, ring, or bracelet must be carefully
chosen, so that their colors and the embroidery do not clash. Plain gold
is best, especially for the bracelet.
_More About Bracelets_
Flexible link bracelets and stiff charm or bangle bracelets should not be
worn together. They battle for predominance.
Many women prize bracelets, and have a large collection of different
sorts. They can be found in innumerable designs, of beautiful antique and
challenging modern, also in many materials and various colors of metals,
and set with a wide range of color in stones. It is a delight to form
and to build such a collection. But in deciding which bracelet to use,
discrimination must be summoned. One or two that harmonize with each
other and the dress, and fit the degree of formality of the occasion,
should be chosen and will catch the admiring eye.
Among current favorites is the charm bracelet. This can be most
attractive, although only a teenage subdebutante will breeze into a room
with a tinkling of several bracelets laden with charms. One such bracelet
can have pleasantly and decoratively dangling mementos of special events
and occasions. I know a well-traveled young woman who adds a golden token
of each new country and important city she visits: among her dangles of
wrought gold and stones are a Mexican peon, a Balinese dancer, a gondola,
the Eiffel Tower, the volcano Fujiyama, and the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
There is also a heart, to indicate another region of her travels.
Queen Elizabeth I had so many dangles that she used not a bracelet but
a girdle, which held keys, a pair of scissors, and even the fork—a new
luxury in her days!—she used at the table. Beside these around the royal
waist, there hung “a round clock fullie garnished with dyamondes,” and
a prayer book two and a half inches long, bound in gold and set with a
cameo.
A pendant birthstone, the three monkeys that see, hear, and speak no
evil, and various lucky charms are also fit for dangles. Such items,
gathered through fortunate finds, add a personal and distinctive touch,
and convert an otherwise common ornament into an interesting jewel.
_More About Rings_
Never should rings be worn on different fingers of the same hand. In
other words, counting the engagement and marriage rings as one, one
should wear one ring on one hand at one time. Have many rings, if you
wish, but wear them in succession.
If the left hand is bound by the wedding pair, the middle finger of the
right hand might be the place for a fine touch of color, in a plain band,
or one ringed with small diamonds, with a large central colored stone.
The only ones by general consent allowed to wear many rings on many
fingers are the dowagers who can (and do) recall their youth in Queen
Victoria’s days.
_Gold Jewels_
Gold jewelry, without colored stones, may be termed neutral; that is,
any such piece will harmonize with other jewels. A plain gold bracelet
or watch, for example, may be worn with a gold and pearl ensemble.
Similarly, a plain gold piece can be worn with a multicolored jewel—if
the gold in the two pieces is of the same shade. Gold jewels, however,
should not be worn with other metals, such as diamonds set in platinum.
Silver, gold, platinum, or palladium: the same metal should characterize
the ensemble.
_In the Spotlight_
There will be occasions, in many women’s lives, when they will officially
be the center of attention. The various observations just made apply all
the more strongly then.
One may be summoned for an appearance on television, or as the speaker
at a gathering or meeting. Or one may, indeed, be in a profession that
calls for frequent public performance, as on the concert stage. I do not
speak of acting, or of singing in opera, for in such situations the part
naturally determines the costume.
A violinist, obviously, should wear no earclips or ring or shoulder
piece. A hair jewel is appropriate, and perhaps a touch of jewelry at
the waist. A pianist likewise should wear no adornment on hand or arm—a
bracelet, moving and gleaming as the fingers flit along the keys, would
be most distracting. In this case a diamond earclip would be appropriate,
or perhaps a jeweled pin in the hair on the side toward the audience. The
essential, for such performers, is to avoid distracting jewels.
For a speaker at a meeting, or on television with the world watching,
the general principle of suiting the adornment to the personality holds.
Neither a singer nor a speaker, of course, should use pendants, which by
movement with the motion of the head would attract undue attention.
With a low-cut gown, the necklace should not be a choker (which might
seem to move as one speaks) but a loose band, following the line of the
dress. It might be safer, indeed, to avoid the necklace. Instead, with a
V-neck dress, one large clip or pin will sufficiently hold the eye. With
a square-neck dress, a pair of smaller clips, one at each corner, will be
unobtrusively attractive.
* * * * *
The cornerstone in the etiquette of jewels, whether one is the center of
all eyes or one of a party, remains erect on three values: good taste,
harmony, and beauty.