WAYS AND MEANS.
When Lady Delacour repeated to Miss Portman the message about
“simplicity of mind and dignity of character,” she frankly said--
“Belinda, notwithstanding all this, observe, I’m determined to retain
Clarence Hervey among the number of my public worshippers during my
life--which you know cannot last long. After I am gone, my dear, he’ll
be all your own, and of that I give you joy. Posthumous fame is a silly
thing, but posthumous jealousy detestable.”
There was one part of the conversation between Mr. Hervey and her
ladyship which she, in her great discretion, did not immediately
repeat to Miss Portman--that part which related to the horses. In this
transaction Belinda had no farther share than having once, when her
ladyship had the handsome horses brought for her to look at, assented
to the opinion that they were the handsomest horses she ever beheld. Mr.
Hervey, however gallantly he replied to her ladyship, was secretly vexed
to find that Belinda had so little delicacy as to permit her name to
be employed in such a manner. He repented having used the improper
expression of _dignity of mind_, and he relapsed into his former opinion
of Mrs. Stanhope’s niece. A relapse is always more dangerous than the
first disease. He sent home the horses to Lady Delacour the next
day, and addressed Belinda, when he met her, with the air of a man of
gallantry, who thought that his peace had been cheaply made. But in
proportion as his manners became more familiar, hers grew more reserved.
Lady Delacour rallied her upon _her prudery_, but in vain. Clarence
Hervey seemed to think that her ladyship had not fulfilled her part of
the bargain.--“Is not _smiling_,” said he, “the epithet always applied
to peace? yet I have not been able to obtain one smile from Miss
Portman since I have been promised peace.” Embarrassed by Mr. Hervey’s
reproaches, and provoked to find that Belinda was proof against all her
raillery, Lady Delacour grew quite ill-humoured towards her. Belinda,
unconscious of having given any just cause of offence, was unmoved; and
her ladyship’s embarrassment increased. At last, resuming all her former
appearance of friendship and confidence, she suddenly exclaimed one
night after she had flattered Belinda into high spirits--
“Do you know, my dear, that I have been so ashamed of myself
for this week past, that I have hardly dared to look you in the face.
I am sensible I was downright rude and cross to you one day, and ever
since I have been penitent; and, as all penitents are, very stupid and
disagreeable, I am sure: but tell me you forgive my caprice, and Lady
Delacour will be herself again.”
It was not difficult to obtain Belinda’s forgiveness.
“Indeed,” continued Lady Delacour, “you are too good; but then in my
own justification I must say, that I have more things to make me
ill-humoured than most people have. Now, my dear, that most obstinate
of human beings, Lord Delacour, has reduced me to the most terrible
situation--I have made Clarence Hervey buy a pair of horses for me, and
I cannot make my Lord Delacour pay for them; but I forgot to tell you
that I took your name--not in vain indeed--in this business. I told
Clarence, that upon condition he would do this _job_ for me, you would
forgive him for all his sins, and--nay, my dear, why do you look as if
I had stabbed you to the heart?--after all, I only drew upon your
pretty mouth for a few smiles. Pray let me see whether it has actually
forgotten _how_ to smile.”
Belinda was too much vexed at this instant to understand raillery. She
was inspired by anger with unwonted courage, and, losing all fear of
Lady Delacour’s wit, she very seriously expostulated with her ladyship
upon having thus used her name without her consent or knowledge. Belinda
felt she was now in danger of being led into a situation which might
be fatal to her reputation and her happiness; and she was the more
surprised at her ladyship, when she recollected the history she had so
lately heard of Harriot Freke and Colonel Lawless.
“You cannot but be sensible, Lady Delacour,” said Belinda, “that after
the contempt I have heard Mr. Hervey express for match-making with Mrs.
Stanhope’s nieces, I should degrade myself by any attempts to attract
his attention. No wit, no eloquence, can change my opinion upon this
subject--I cannot endure contempt.”
“Very likely--no doubt”--interrupted Lady Delacour; “but if you would
only open your eyes, which heroines make it a principle never to do--or
else there would be an end of the novel--if you would only open your
eyes, you would see that this man is in love with you; and whilst you
are afraid of his contempt, he is a hundred times more afraid of yours;
and as long as you are each of you in such fear of you know not
what, you must excuse me if I indulge myself in a little wholesome
raillery.”--Belinda smiled.--“There now; one such smile as that for
Clarence Hervey, and I’m out of debt and danger,” said Lady Delacour.
“O Lady Delacour, why, why will you try your power over me in this
manner?” said Belinda. “You know that I ought not to be persuaded to do
what I am conscious is wrong. But a few days ago you told me yourself
that Mr. Hervey is--is not a marrying man; and a woman of your
penetration must see that--that he only means to flirt with me. I am
not a match for Mr. Hervey in any respect. He is a man of wit and
gallantry--I am unpractised in the ways of the world. I was not educated
by my aunt Stanhope--I have only been with her a few years--I wish I had
never been with her in my life.”
“I’ll take care Mr. Hervey shall know that,” said Lady Delacour; “but in
the mean time I do think any fair appraiser of delicate distresses would
decide that I am, all the circumstances considered, more to be pitied
at this present moment than you are: for the catastrophe of the business
evidently is, that I must pay two hundred guineas for the horses somehow
or other.”
“I can pay for them,” exclaimed Belinda, “and will with the greatest
pleasure. I will not go to the birthnight--my dress is not bespoke.
Will two hundred guineas pay for the horses? Oh, take the money--pay Mr.
Hervey, dear Lady Delacour, and it will all be right.”
“You are a charming girl,” said Lady Delacour, embracing her; “but how
can I answer for it to my conscience, or to your aunt Stanhope, if you
don’t appear on the birthnight? That cannot be, my dear; besides, you
know Mrs. Franks will send home your drawing-room dress to-day, and
it would be so foolish to be presented for nothing--not to go to the
birthnight afterwards. If you say _a_ you must say _b.”_
“Then,” said Belinda, “I will not go to the drawing-room.”--“Not go, my
dear! What! throw away fifty guineas for nothing! Really I never saw any
one so lavish of her money, and so economic of her smiles.”
“Surely,” said Miss Portman, “it is better for me to throw away fifty
guineas, poor as I am, than to hazard the happiness of my life. Your
ladyship knows that if I say _a_ to Mr. Hervey, I must say _b_. No, no,
my dear Lady Delacour; here is the draught for two hundred guineas: pay
Mr. Hervey, for Heaven’s sake, and there is an end of the business.”
“What a positive child it is! Well, then, it shall not be forced to say
the a, b, c, of Cupid’s alphabet, to that terrible pedagogue, Clarence
Hervey, till it pleases: but seriously, Miss Portman, I am concerned
that you will make me take this draught: it is absolutely robbing you.
But Lord Delacour’s the person you must blame--it is all his obstinacy:
having once said he would not pay for the horses, he would see them
and me and the whole human race expire before he would change his silly
mind.--Next month I shall have it in my power, my dear, to repay you
with a thousand thanks; and in a few months more we shall have another
birthday, and a new star shall appear in the firmament of fashion,
and it shall be called Belinda. In the mean time, my dear, upon second
thoughts, perhaps we can get Mrs. Franks to dispose of your drawing-room
dress to some person of taste, and you may keep your fifty guineas for
the next occasion. I’ll see what can be done.--Adieu! a thousand thanks,
silly child as you are.”
Mrs. Franks at first declared that it would be an impossibility to
dispose of Miss Portman’s dress, though she would do any thing upon
earth to oblige Lady Delacour; however, ten guineas made every thing
possible. Belinda rejoiced at having, as she thought, extricated herself
at so cheap a rate; and well pleased with her own conduct, she wrote to
her aunt Stanhope, to inform her of as much of the transaction as she
could disclose, without betraying Lady Delacour. “Her ladyship,”
she said, “had immediate occasion for two hundred guineas, and to
accommodate her with this sum she had given up the idea of going to
court.”
The tenor of Miss Portman’s letter will be sufficiently apparent from
Mrs. Stanhope’s answer.
MRS. STANHOPE TO MISS PORTMAN.
“Bath, June 2nd.
“I cannot but feel some astonishment, Belinda, at your very
extraordinary conduct, and more extraordinary letter. What you can mean
by principles and delicacy I own I don’t pretend to understand, when
I see you not only forget the respect that is due to the opinions
and advice of the aunt to whom you owe every thing; but you take upon
yourself to lavish her money, without common honesty. I send you two
hundred guineas, and desire you to go to court--you lend my two hundred
guineas to Lady Delacour, and inform me that as you think yourself bound
in honour to her ladyship, you cannot explain all the particulars to
me, otherwise you are sure I should approve of the reasons which have
influenced you. Mighty satisfactory, truly! And then, to mend the
matter, you tell me that you do not think that in your situation in life
it is necessary that you should go to court. Your opinions and mine, you
add, differ in many points. Then I must say that you are as ungrateful
as you are presumptuous; for I am not such a novice in the affairs of
the world as to be ignorant that when a young lady professes to be of
a different opinion from her friends, it is only a prelude to something
worse. She begins by saying that she is determined to think for herself,
and she is determined to act for herself--and then it is all over with
her: and all the money, &c. that has been spent upon her education is so
much dead loss to her friends.
“Now I look upon it that a young girl who has been brought up, and
brought forward in the world as you have been by connexions, is bound to
be guided implicitly by them in all her conduct. What should you think
of a man who, after he had been brought into parliament by a friend,
would go and vote against that friend’s opinions? You do not want sense,
Belinda--you perfectly understand me; and consequently your errors I
must impute to the defect of your heart, and not of your judgment. I see
that, on account of the illness of the princess, the king’s birthday is
put off for a fortnight. If you manage properly, and if (unknown to Lady
----, who certainly has not used you well in this business, and to whom
therefore you owe no peculiar delicacy) you make Lord ---- sensible how
much your aunt Stanhope is disappointed and displeased (as I most truly
am) at your intention of missing this opportunity of appearing at court;
it is ten to one but his lordship--who has not made it a point to refuse
your request, I suppose--will pay you your two hundred guineas. You of
course will make proper acknowledgments; but at the same time entreat
that his lordship will not _commit_ you with his lady, as she might
be offended at your application to him. I understand from an intimate
acquaintance of his, that you are a great favourite of his lordship; and
though an obstinate, he is a good-natured man, and can have no fear of
being governed by you; consequently he will do just as you would have
him.
“Then you have an opportunity of representing the thing in the
prettiest manner imaginable to Lady ----, as an instance of her lord’s
consideration for her: so you will oblige all parties (a very desirable
thing) without costing yourself one penny, and go to the birthnight
after all: and this only by using a little address, without which
nothing is to be done in this world.
“Yours affectionately (if you follow my advice),
“SELINA STANHOPE.”
Belinda, though she could not, consistently with what she thought right,
follow the advice so artfully given to her in this epistle, was yet
extremely concerned to find that she had incurred the displeasure of an
aunt to whom she thought herself under obligations. She resolved to lay
by as much as she possibly could, from the interest of her fortune, and
to repay the two hundred guineas to Mrs. Stanhope. She was conscious
that she had no right to lend this money to Lady Delacour, if her aunt
had expressly desired that she should spend it only on her court-dress;
but this had not distinctly been expressed when Mrs. Stanhope sent her
niece the draft. That lady was in the habit of speaking and writing
ambiguously, so that even those who knew her best were frequently in
doubt how to interpret her words. Yet she was extremely displeased when
her hints and her half-expressed wishes were not understood. Beside
the concern she felt from the thoughts of having displeased her aunt,
Belinda was both vexed and mortified to perceive that in Clarence
Hervey’s manner towards her there was not the change which she had
expected that her conduct would naturally produce.
One day she was surprised at his reproaching her for caprice in having
given up her intentions of going to court. Lady Delacour’s embarrassment
whilst Mr. Hervey spoke, Belinda attributed to her ladyship’s desire
that Clarence should not know that she had been obliged to borrow the
money to pay him for the horses. Belinda thought that this was a
species of mean pride; but she made it a point to keep her ladyship’s
secret--she therefore slightly answered Mr. Hervey, “that she wondered
that a man who was so well acquainted with the female sex should be
surprised at any instance of caprice from a woman.” The conversation
then took another turn, and whilst they were talking of indifferent
subjects, in came Lord Delacour’s man, Champfort, with Mrs. Stanhope’s
draft for two hundred guineas, which the coachmaker’s man had just
brought back because Miss Portman had forgotten to endorse it. Belinda’s
astonishment was almost as great at this instant as Lady Delacour’s
confusion.
“Come this way, my dear, and we’ll find you a pen and ink. You need not
wait, Champfort; but tell the man to wait for the draft--Miss Portman
will endorse it immediately.”--And she took Belinda into another room.
“Good Heavens! Has not this money been paid to Mr. Hervey?” exclaimed
Belinda.
“No, my dear; but I will take all the blame upon myself, or, which
will do just as well for you, throw it all upon my better half. My Lord
Delacour would not pay for my new carriage. The coachmaker, insolent
animal, would not let it out of his yard without two hundred guineas in
ready money. Now you know I had the horses, and what could I do with the
horses without the carriage? Clarence Hervey, I knew, could wait for
his money better than a poor devil of a coachmaker; so I paid the
coachmaker, and a few months sooner or later can make no difference to
Clarence, who rolls in gold, my dear--if that will be any comfort to
you, as I hope it will.”
“Oh, what will he think of me!” said Belinda.
“Nay, what will he think of _me_, child!”
“Lady Delacour,” said Belinda, in a firmer tone than she had ever before
spoken, “I must insist upon this draft being given to Mr. Hervey.”
“Absolutely impossible, my dear.--I cannot take it from the coachmaker;
he has sent home the carriage: the thing’s done, and cannot be undone.
But come, since I know nothing else will make you easy, I will take
this mighty favour from Mr. Hervey entirely upon my own conscience: you
cannot object to that, for you are not the keeper of my conscience. I
will tell Clarence the whole business, and do you honour due, my dear:
so endorse the check, whilst I go and sound both the praises of your
dignity of mind, and simplicity of character, &c. &c. &c. &c.”
Her ladyship broke away from Belinda, returned to Clarence Hervey, and
told the whole affair with that peculiar grace with which she knew how
to make a good story of a bad one. Clarence was as favourable an auditor
at this time as she could possibly have found; for no human being could
value money less than he did, and all sense of her ladyship’s meanness
was lost in his joy at discovering that Belinda was worthy of his
esteem. Now he felt in its fullest extent all the power she had over
his heart, and he was upon the point of declaring his attachment to her,
when _malheureusement_ Sir Philip Baddely and Mr. Rochfort announced
themselves by the noise they made on the staircase. These were the young
men who had spoken in such a contemptuous manner at Lady Singleton’s of
the match-making Mrs. Stanhope and her nieces. Mr. Hervey was anxious
that they should not penetrate into the state of his heart, and he
concealed his emotion by instantly assuming that kind of rattling gaiety
which always delighted his companions, who were ever in want of some
one to set their stagnant ideas in motion. At last they insisted upon
carrying Clarence away with them to taste some wines for Sir Philip
Baddely.