boy. It shows how little credence we should lend a patient’s first
statements. Presently numerous similar episodes come to the forefront
and soon we learn that his greatest desire at one time was to procure
a pretty boy for himself and that boys roused him more than girls.
He seeks the company of women to forget all about his inclination
towards boys and hopes to overcome his homosexual tendencies through
excessive heterosexual experiences. His craving for women, his
obsessive thinking about them, serves only as a means to prevent his
mind from reverting to the other sex. Compulsory thoughts often serve
the purpose of preventing other thoughts from intruding. This is the
law of resistance which plays such a tremendous role in the mental life
of neurotics. In the course of treatment he transfers upon me all his
passion—as was to be expected. He has some dreams,—which he relates
with great difficulty,—during which he sees me naked and handles my
penis or even carries out _fellatio_. He now recalls passionately
watching his father, also how happy he was to go bathing with him,
and how he liked to hide in order to see his father’s phallus. The
dissolution of this transference and reference back to his father he
does not like at first, but it becomes more and more pronounced as we
proceed. He is now abstinent for a week at a stretch and no longer
chases after women although I gave him no particular advice on this
point. The consciously acknowledged homosexual leaning has no need for
this cover. As leaning comes to surface openly it is openly overcome.
He again experiences anxieties. His landlady tells that he is heard
tossing and groaning and even crying out in his sleep. He is now
sentimental and soft, becoming greatly changed in character, to his
advantage. Again he goes to the theatre and reads books,—things he had
not done for years. His letters to his father are more quiet in tone
and sympathetic. He becomes economical and spends less than his father
sends him.
Then something happens which promises to mark a new epoch in his life.
It is a typical experience of these men during treatment. As the
infantile ties are loosened in the course of the analysis they fall in
love.[17]
Our subject is in a state of highest preparedness towards love. His
homosexuality, which had been completely repressed—he no longer took
any interest in boys—was again manifest. He now played his trump card.
He fell in love with a girl who was to replace for him all other women
as well as all thought of man. This happened in so remarkable and
typical a manner that it is worth while to report fully the occurrence.
He was still in the habit of accosting girls on the street, even if
for no other object than sheer amusement. One evening he came across
a demure little girl who looked rather like a young boy, boldly spoke
to her and fell deeply in love with her on the spot. In three days he
declared himself her beau and six days later they became engaged. He
thought of nothing else but his sweetheart. As if bent on revenging
himself on me and on his father he spoke of nothing else but his love
and his new found happiness. The satyriasis was replaced by a psychic
intoxication even more powerful. He picked up a girl belonging to an
ordinary family to punish his parents. He chose that girl although she
was no longer _virgo intacta_ (because this did not interest him). He
told that to his parents and it was, he felt, the strongest revenge and
punishment he could bring upon them. They thought a great deal of their
social position; and now, their son was marrying the daughter of a
motorman, a girl without any education and who served as clerk in some
store. And he threatened his parents that he would take his life unless
he could marry the girl. He would marry her without their consent. His
love was so great,—such a love never had its equal in the world! The
very thought that his father might try to prevent the marriage made him
raving mad and he talked of violence and murder.
I advised the father to disarm the son by placing no opposition in his
path. He should make but one condition: the son must support himself
and his wife. Only a man capable of maintaining a wife has the right
to marry. I took the same attitude explaining to the young man that he
must make himself independent of his father through his own labor. He
perceived plainly that the idea of maintaining himself through his own
labor did not appeal to him. His greatest pleasure was the thought that
his father had to pay every time he went out with a woman and that he
was squandering his father’s money.
At this time he confesses to me that he was about to get married once
before. It was in Berlin, shortly after the homosexual relations
with the young boy. He became acquainted with a girl who kept up
intercourse with him. This girl he wanted to marry and his father
went through the same trial with him. He could not think of a greater
revenge. Such subjects show this trait again and again. It is not the
only case of the kind that I have met. The occurrence is common and
every experienced nerve specialist is called in consultation over
similar problems several times in the course of a year. That girl
was the Frenchwoman who introduced him to all forms of paraphiliac
practices. The father, naturally indignant, threatened to disinherit
the son. That was precisely what our patient was looking for. He was
afraid only of a soft-hearted father and he managed always to rouse his
anger as a sort of protective screen between himself and his father.
The patient also felt that his father scorned him. During the Berlin
episode he clung to his Frenchwoman, did not rest until his father met
her, wanted always to keep in her company and was afraid of being alone
with his father.
At this point the subject’s journey to Thuringen with his father came
up through numerous associations. He accompanied on that journey not
his uncle, but his father, and he now recalls that during the trip he
frequently occupied one bed with his father, and that it made him happy
to think that his father took him along instead of his mother.
It will be recalled that previously he remembered only the incident of
slipping on a stone. That is really a “Deckerinnerung.” The fall covers
other incidents: It stands for a fall into sin. I must point out that
the subject also links the return of the trouble and its aggravation
to an alleged fall. The accident happened in a merry go round. He fell
unconscious but after a short time came fully to himself and returned
to the sport. The accident could hardly have been a serious one. At any
rate the riddle of a fall belonged to the fancies with which he had
beclouded his journey to Thuringen. The fiction established itself in
his mind through his occupying one bed with his father in the course of
that journey and his substituting the father for the mother. His dreamy
mind conceived the companion as a woman, as the mother, and added the
fiction of a fall into sin, symbolically represented by the trivial
incident of an actual fall.
He now finds himself in a new homosexual danger. I see him daily and he
tries by various tricks to induce me to give him a physical examination
and to show me his penis. He thinks he has again gonorrhea, perhaps he
has phthiriasis, I ought to examine him, it would be foolish for him to
go to another physician for that. I explain these symptoms and the man
confesses that he has indulged also openly in fancies in which I played
a role. And now he takes revenge by telling me about his bride and
dwelling on her tenderness for hours. He has no other theme for talk.
He must always have her near him to feel quiet. She must not leave
him for a moment. Day and night he wants to hold her hand ... thus he
insures himself against homosexuality.
Finally I tell him I shall give up the psychoanalysis if there is
nothing else to come up. Then, lo! his talk turns to other matters.
He knows now that his engagement is a defence measure against his
homosexuality and his filthy onanistic acts. But he also sees that in
his bride he has found a surrogate for his mother. He surrounds her
with tenderness like a man who truly loves, and presently his psychic
intoxication turns into a deep and true affection. He still has serious
quarrels with his bride. He still storms against his father and against
all authority. He is an anarchist at war with all authority and assumes
an obstinate attitude towards everybody. But his father, apprised by me
of the true situation, keeps his temper and thus disarms his son. Thus
the engagement no longer serves the object of worrying the parents.
His parents apparently let him have his own way, insisting only that
he should go to work. I doubt his ability to get to work and express
to him my sympathy. He wants to show me that he can work. At every
opportunity I sympathize with his bride, a quiet, brave little woman.
He will surely abandon her. He cannot keep true. Not so! he declares.
He is going to show me that he can be true.
In a few weeks he finds a position and does his work so carefully and
diligently that his condition is greatly improved. Then he marries and
in every sense of the word becomes a new man.
But there was a great deal more to do. His paranoiac notions of
grandeur, his feeling that he could do anything which others may not,
his obstinacy and his rebellion against all authority were gradually
replaced by social tendencies. He became modest and agreeable....
His complete recovery, he learned early, depended on his keeping away
from his parents. A short stay in the old home roused all the old
antagonisms and he resolved to stay away so as to keep on friendly
terms with his parents.
At first all his affection was centered on his bride and he did
not wait for the marriage ceremony.... He attained unbelievable
accomplishments.... But this did not continue for long and soon he
quieted down and had intercourse with his wife at regular intervals....
Pregnancy and childbirth made it necessary for him to keep away from
her for a time and he did so easily enough, without being untrue to her.
I do not know how long this improvement will last. He has kept his
place for the past three years with dignity and honor, and is today
a quiet, brave man who shudders when he thinks of his past. His
parents have reconciled themselves to his marriage and the birth of two
grandchildren has ratified in their eyes the inevitable fact.
The character of satyriasis is richly illustrated by this case. We see
also why the Berlin air did not agree with the subject. There he was
in danger of becoming overtly homosexual. In one Berlin office where
he worked there was a homosexual who wanted to introduce him to his
circle. He took a sudden liking for his chief of whom he grew daily
more fond. The other men in the office made him jealous and he resorted
to quarreling, using vile talk. Finally he broke with his chief as a
defence against the pent-up feelings within himself.
It is interesting to note that during his relations with the young
boy he identified himself with his father. He carried out the act of
seduction which he vainly expected to be acted out by his father. His
identification with the father went so far that he felt himself aged,
tired, played out and he thought he might not live long. During his
coprophiliac acts he played the role of a suckling.
It is interesting to observe what role he assumes now while in love
with his wife. A few remarks on that point may not be out of place here:
During the first stage of his infatuation the subject identified
himself with his mother, while the young woman stood for a boy, mostly
himself. He acted out the love scenes between mother and son and he
was surprised to find himself capable of such motherly feelings. He
emphasized his strong femininity. He had, he thought, womanly hips,
scant beard growth, gynecomasty (full breasts). Organically he was of
that bisexual type which careful examination of the neurotic never
fails to disclose. He was also attentive, gallant, dainty and mannerly.
Sometimes the bride was the mother and he played the role of the child.
He snuggled up in her arms saying: “I should like to crawl in and lie
like a child in its mother’s bosom! That would be bliss.” During coitus
he preferred succubus and once there occurred a strange incident. A
fancy seemed to dawn on him that he was having intercourse with his
mother. This was not a phantasy that I had in any way suggested. I
let the subject relate everything that comes to his mind without
influencing him in one direction or another.
As he improved the identification with his mother disappeared. He made
up with his parents, exchanged friendly letters with his father, and
felt he was making satisfactory progress. For the first time in his
life he was himself.
He became aware of his own personality. Now he loved his wife as a
husband, and felt that he was a father who had a mother of his own.
That may seem self-evident and an irrelevant remark. But the whole
task which I aimed to achieve was to break up his identification with
his parents, destroy his projection upon the old home. Previously
the leading motive in all his conduct was the thought: _what will my
parents say?_ The knowledge that his father would be troubled made him
happy. He wanted to punish the man whom he held responsible for his
sufferings on account of his lack of proper responsiveness and to keep
the father always in trouble. Now he abandoned his infantilism. He was
a child no longer, he was a man. Overcoming all disguises and masks he
came to himself.
His homosexuality persisted as formerly. But he saw this clearly before
his eyes and recognized it openly in his relations with his superiors,
his friends and his psychoanalytic adviser. He could meet the issue and
overcome it. Perhaps he shifted a part of it over to his son. One thing
is certain: he is through with the homosexual longing and so completely
that it no longer troubles him. He is alert and active. Such result
would not be attained without the art of analysis and without the
physician’s educational skill. This man, in the absence of analysis,
would have probably ended his misery in suicide.
I must also point out that his genuine affection for his wife developed
out of an impulsive infatuation. He met the woman, spoke to her, and
fell in love with her at once. Yet the marriage is happier as time
passes. Trifling storms do occur—where do they not—but they blow
lightly over and his home life is one of quiet happiness. The dream
about his great historic mission is gone. He who had once the ambition
to become a Napoleon or a Herostratos, a Satan or a Don Juan, a
bomb-thrower, is now a reliable, efficient and satisfied bookkeeper;
he now sits at his desk in the office dutifully adding long columns of
figures, brings home little presents for his wife and children, and
if his old folks send him a sum of money he is pleasantly surprised
and puts it in the bank for his little daughter. This case illustrates
also the relations of homosexuality to the family and to the problem of
incest. More about that later....
* * * * *
Nymphomania shows the same homosexual basis as satyriasis. In the
study of Sexual Frigidity in Women[18] we shall have occasion to point
out types of women who are undoubtedly nymphomaniac in character,
Messalinas. These women are usually anesthetic, a condition in itself
of considerable significance and one which is often seen also in
ordinary prostitutes. They have a hunger for man similar to Don Juan’s
longing for woman. It is characteristic of them, too, that they never
find satisfaction. These persons in perpetual quest, Ahasuerus, the
Flying Dutchman, Faust and Don Juan, who are condemned to wander and
search and who never find rest, portray the libido which does not find
its proper sexual goal.[19]
There are also among women endless seekers continually dreaming of
man,—some man who shall completely and lastingly gratify them. The
conditions are even more complex in women than in men. For the present
I want to report briefly one case, pointing out merely what may serve
as an illustration of our present theme. We shall take up the whole
subject more fully in connection with our discussion of dyspareunia.
* * * * *
A woman, strikingly beautiful,—we shall call her Adele—comes to me
with a most unusual complaint. She is married to an excellent man
with whom she had fallen in love and she still loves him. She has no
inclination whatever to remain true to him. She lacks completely any
resistance to temptation. She is easily the victim of any man who
comes near her. She is a woman who does not know how to say “no.” Her
husband who has no inkling of her doings worships her. Sometimes she
is conscience stricken, as now, and wishes to find something that
would quiet her so that she would not have to think from morning till
night only of sexual matters. But, what I shall find unbelievable, she
adds, is that she remains cold during a man’s embrace and must always
follow it up with onanism. Only cunnilingus produces an adequate orgasm
in her. She thinks that if a man satisfied her regularly in that way
perhaps she could remain true to him.
From her life history I quote the following data. Already as a child
Adele had gathered certain experiences on the subject of sex. She was
about eight years of age when her brother began to carry out coitus
with her. She was very sensual even at that time and claims that she
experienced great pleasure in the act. The brother was two years
older. All the children in the apartment building where they lived
were introduced early to sexual acts. Often there took place regular
orgies. She was loaned by her brother to other boys when he received
their sisters in exchange. She remembers having been used once by four
boys in succession. These doings went on for over a year. Then another
girl’s mother discovered what was going on and matters came very near
being aired in court. There were scenes and investigations but all the
children lied themselves out of it.
From that time on she masturbated and to this day she cannot give
up the habit. Even as a “flapper” she had no other thought than to
attract men. She was very coquettish and easy going, improved for a
time, becoming very devout as well as retired in her disposition and
even thought of joining a nunnery and taking the vows of chastity.
But this pious attitude did not last long. Soon she flirted again and
turned to all kinds of erotic books, the reading of which so excited
her that she masturbated several times during the night. At 17 years of
age, a pupil of her father’s who was teacher of piano at the musical
high school, took advantage of her. She was alone with the young
man for a few minutes. He kissed her and she accepted this without
resistance. Then he dragged her on top of himself—there was no couch
in that study room—and she lost her virginity. She did not know how it
happened. It was over in a few minutes. She kept away from the young
man after that, although he pursued her, and for a few weeks lived in
terror, afraid that she might be pregnant. But fortunately that was
not the case. She soon noticed that all men were interested in her.
Young and old pursued her. The mother to whom, with tears in her eyes,
she related the incident with the young man and who kept it from the
father (fearing that he would murder the boy) kept careful watch over
her, never left her alone, always saying to her: “Child, you must marry
soon! Your blood is too hot.”
At 19 years of age she found her man, with whom she fell in love so
desperately that she became the laughing stock of the town. During the
very first days of courtship she fell into his arms and offered no
resistance when he tried to possess her completely. He was so excited
that he failed to observe that she was not a virgin. She enjoyed the
experience but little, although she was tremendously excited at the
time.
From the very beginning she was untrue to him. She carried on with a
friend of his, going even to that man’s house. She was unhappy and
wanted to do away with herself. But she soon got over that and again
began flirting.
After the marriage ceremony—three days later—she recalled having
heard that Dr. X., an attractive young single man, was a great Don
Juan. She decided to look him up at once and seduce him. She complained
to him of a red spot upon her privates, claiming it troubled her. Was
that not a sign of some illness? In short, she attained her purpose,
was his sweetheart for a time, and learned then of cunnilingus for the
first time. That she regarded as the highest achievement in the art
of love. Another man required of her the anal form of copulation. All
such things amused her, although she never experienced the orgasm as
satisfactorily as during masturbation.
Before long she felt painful remorse. She had the best of men for a
husband. She tortured herself with the most severe reproaches, daily
saying to herself: “This must be the last time; I must not do it
again.” But the very next day she felt impelled again to go into the
street or to telephone to one of the many men who were at her disposal.
It is interesting to note that on her list of lovers there were
physicians, lawyers, army officers, clerks, nobles and commoners. She
never took payment and never accepted presents. That would put her in a
class with the prostitutes. She also tried coachmen and chauffeurs, but
her disgust afterwards was so great that she gave this up, although she
always felt the temptation.
She acquired a gonorrheal infection and this compelled her to claim
“female trouble” as an excuse to keep her husband away from her for
a time. She was so provoked with the man who had infected her that
she wanted to revenge herself on all men and in her anger thought of
transferring the infection to every man in her circle. She did not
carry out this plan because the gynecologist who treated her forbade
all sexual congress. Nevertheless twice she could not control herself
and she infected two men....
She wanted me to hypnotize her. There was no other thought in her
mind than men and again men! Her mind revolved continually around
sexual scenes; she has even thought of going for a time to a house of
prostitution, and, like Agrippina, allow any number of men to use her
until she shall have had enough. Perhaps then she would quiet down! If
she meets a stranger that night she dreams of intercourse with him!
I ask her about the dreams; whether they lay stress on some special
form of intercourse or portray merely the normal act.
Hesitatingly she answers: “Always the normal. Only I am regularly on
top.... Why is that? I have often thought of it.”
“Did you have such a dream last night?”
“Let me see. Certainly; a foolish dream, though....”
“Please, let me hear it.”
“I am in bed with my brother-in-law. A man of whom I would not even
dream.”
“But you did dream of him.”
“I cannot understand it. I have never given him one minute’s thought.”
“And never anything happened between you?”
“No ... with him, never. Although he is attentive to me and I know he
likes me. I love my sister too dearly to treat her that way, although
my sister is not faithful either, and things like that don’t matter
with her. It seems to be in the family. Still, I would rather have
nothing to do with my brother-in-law. The dream is nonsense, I have
forgotten the most of it. It was much longer.”
Observing that she tries to avoid the dream I insist that she should
try and recall it as nearly as possible. “Well, then,” she continues
her narrative, “the dream was as follows:
”_I am in bed with my brother-in-law. It seems I am the man and he the
woman. He has no mustache and lies under me. Suddenly he changes and it
is my sister and I kiss her passionately. ‘You see,’ she says to me,
‘you should have done this long ago and you would be well.’_”
I inquire about her relations to the sister and learn that she has not
been in touch with her for the past few months and that during this
time she has grown more nervous and her craving for men also grew worse
than ever. “When I am with my sister I seem to forget men more easily.
She is a very spiritual person and extremely charming. If you should
ever meet her you would fall in love with her.”
When one hears such talk, and one hears it rather often, the diagnosis
is easy: the narrator is in love with that person and therefore thinks
it natural that everybody should fall in love with the person in
question.[20]