_Some reflections very fit, and others very unfit, for an
assembly-room._
You speak in strange terms, replied Arabella, blushing, of a princess,
who if she was not the most reserved and severe person in the world,
was yet nevertheless, absolutely chaste.
I know there were people who represented her partiality for Ovid in
a very unfavourable light; but that ingenious poet, when he related
his history to the great Agrippa, told him in confidence all that had
passed between him and the princess Julia, than which nothing could
be more innocent, though a little indiscreet. For it is certain that
she permitted him to love her, and did not condemn him to any rigorous
punishment for daring to tell her so; yet, for all this, as I said
before, though she was not altogether so austere as she ought to have
been, yet she was nevertheless a most virtuous princess.
Mr. Selvin, not daring to contradict a lady whose extensive reading
had furnished her with anecdotes unknown almost to any body else, by
his silence confessed her superiority. But Mr. Glanville, who knew all
these anecdotes were drawn from romances, which he found contradicted
the known facts in history, and assigned the most ridiculous causes
for things of the greatest importance, could not help smiling at the
facility with which Mr. Selvin gave in to those idle absurdities. For
notwithstanding his affectation of great reading, his superficial
knowledge of history made it extremely easy to deceive him; and as it
was his custom to mark in his pocket-book all the scraps of history
he heard introduced into conversation, and retail them again in other
company, he did not doubt but he would make a figure with the curious
circumstances Arabella had furnished him with.
Arabella, observing Mr. Tinsel by his familiar bows, significant
smiles, and easy salutations, was acquainted with the greatest part
of the assembly, told him, that she did not doubt but he knew the
adventures of many persons whom they were viewing; and that he would do
her a pleasure, if he would relate some of them.
Mr. Tinsel was charmed with a request which afforded him an opportunity
of gratifying a favourite inclination, and seating himself near her
immediately, was beginning to obey her injunctions, when she gracefully
entreated him to stay a moment; and calling to Mr. Glanville, and his
sister, who were talking to Mr. Selvin, asked them if they chose to
partake of a more rational amusement than dancing, and listen to the
adventures of some illustrious persons, which Mr. Tinsel had promised
to relate.
I assure you, madam, said Mr. Glanville, smiling, you will find that a
less innocent amusement than dancing.
Why so, sir? replied Arabella; since it is not an indiscreet curiosity
which prompts me to a desire of hearing the histories Mr. Tinsel has
promised to entertain me with; but rather a hope of hearing something
which may at once improve and delight me; something which may excite my
admiration, engage my esteem, or influence my practice.
It was, doubtless, with such motives as these, that we find princesses
and ladies of the most illustrious rank, in Clelia and the Grand Cyrus,
listening to the adventures of persons in whom they were probably as
little interested as we are in these around us. Kings, princes, and
commanders of armies, thought it was no waste of their time, in the
midst of the hurry and clamour of a camp, to listen many hours to the
relation of one single history, and not filled with any extraordinary
events; but haply a simple recital of common occurrences. The great
Cyrus, while he was busy in reducing all Asia to his yoke, heard,
nevertheless, the histories of all the considerable persons in the
camp, besides those of strangers, and even his enemies. If there was
therefore any thing either criminal or mean in hearing the adventures
of others, do you imagine so many great and illustrious persons would
have given in to such an amusement?
After this Arabella turned gravely about to Mr. Tinsel, and told him,
he was at liberty to begin his recital.
The beau, a little disconcerted by the solemnity with which she
requested his information, knew not how to begin with the formality
that he saw was required of him; and therefore sat silent for a few
moments; which Arabella supposed was to recall to his memory all the
passages he proposed to relate.
His perplexity would probably have increased instead of lessening by
the profound silence which she observed, had not Miss Glanville seated
herself with a sprightly air on the other side of him, and directing
his eyes to a tall handsome woman that had just entered, asked him,
pleasantly, to tell her history if he knew it.
Mr. Tinsel, brought into his usual track by this question, answered,
smiling, that the history of that lady was yet a secret, or known but
to very few; but my intelligence, added he, is generally the earliest,
and may always be depended on.
Perhaps, said Arabella, the lady is one of your acquaintances, and
favoured you with the recital of her adventure from her own mouth.
No, really, madam, answered Mr. Tinsel, surprised at the great
simplicity of Arabella, for so he understood it: the lady, I believe,
is not so communicative: and to say the truth, I should not choose to
hear her adventures from herself, since she certainly would suppress
the most material circumstances.
In a word, said he, lowering his voice, that lady was for many
years the mistress of a young military nobleman, whom she was so
complaisant to follow in all his campaigns, marches, sieges, and every
inconveniency of war. He married her in Gibraltar, from whence he is
lately arrived, and introduced his new lady to his noble brother, by
whom she was not unfavourably received. It is worth remarking, that
this same haughty peer thought fit to resent with implacable obstinacy
the marriage of another of his brothers, with the widow of a brave
officer, of considerable rank in the army. It is true, she was several
years older than the young lord, and had no fortune; but the duke
assigned other reasons for his displeasure: he complained loudly, that
his brother had dishonoured the nobility of his birth by this alliance,
and continued his resentment till the death of the young hero, who
gave many remarkable proofs of his courage and fortitude upon several
occasions, and died gloriously before the walls of Carthagena; leaving
his disconsolate lady a widow a second time, with the acquisition of a
title indeed, but a very small addition to her fortune.
Observe that gay, splendid lady, I beseech you, madam, pursued he,
turning to Arabella. How affectedly she looks and talks, and throws
her eyes around the room, with a haughty self-sufficiency in her
aspect, and insolent contempt for every thing but herself! Her habit,
her speech, her motions, are all French; nothing in England is able
to please her; the people so dull, so awkwardly polite; the manners
so gross; no delicacy, no elegance, no magnificence in their persons,
houses, or diversions; every thing is so distasteful, there is no
living in such a place. One may crawl about, indeed, she says, and make
a shift to breathe in the odious country, but one cannot be said to
live; and with all the requisites to render life delightful, here, one
can only suffer, not enjoy it.
Would one not imagine, pursued he, this fine lady was a person of very
exalted rank, who has the sanction of birth, riches, and grandeur for
her extraordinary pride? And yet she is no other than the daughter
of an inn-keeper at Spa, and had the exalted post assigned her of
attending new lodgers to their apartments, acquainting them with all
the conveniences of the place, answering an humble question or two
concerning what company was in the town, what scandal was stirring, and
the like.
One of our great sea commanders going thither for his health, happened
to lodge at this inn; and was so struck with her charms that he married
her in a few weeks, and soon after brought her to England.
Such was the origin of this fantastic lady, whose insupportable pride
and ridiculous affectation draws contempt and aversion wherever she
appears.
Did I not tell you, madam, interrupted Mr. Glanville, that the
amusement you had chosen was not so innocent as dancing? What a deal of
scandal has Mr. Tinsel uttered in the compass of a few minutes?
I assure you, replied Arabella, I know not what to make of the
histories he has been relating. I think they do not deserve that
name, and are rather detached pieces of satire on particular persons,
than a serious relation of facts. I confess my expectations from this
gentleman have not been answered.
I think, however, madam, said Mr. Glanville, we may allow that there
is a negative merit in the relations Mr. Tinsel has made; for, if he
has not shown us any thing to approve, he has at least shown us what to
condemn.
The ugliness of vice, replied Arabella, ought only to be represented
to the vicious; to whom satire, like a magnifying glass, may aggravate
every defect, in order to make its deformity appear more hideous;
but since its end is only to reprove and amend, it should never be
addressed to any but those who come within its correction, and may be
the better for it: a virtuous mind need not be shown the deformity of
vice, to make it be hated and avoided; the more pure and uncorrupted
our ideas are, the less shall we be influenced by example. A natural
propensity to virtue or vice often determines the choice: it is
sufficient therefore to show a good mind what it ought to pursue,
though a bad one must be told what to avoid. In a word, one ought to be
always incited, the other always restrained.
I vow, Lady Bella, said Miss Glanville, you'd make one think one came
here to hear a sermon; you are so very grave, and talk upon such
high-flown subjects. What harm was there in what Mr. Tinsel was telling
us? It would be hard indeed if one might not divert one's self with
other people's faults.
I am afraid, miss, said Arabella, those who can divert themselves with
the faults of others are not behind in affording diversion. And that
very inclination, added she, smilingly, to hear other people's faults,
may, by those very people, be condemned as one, and afford them the
same kind of ill-natured pleasure you are so desirous of.
Nay, madam, returned Miss Glanville, your ladyship was the first who
introduced the discourse you condemn so much. Did not you desire Mr.
Tinsel to tell you histories about the company; and asked my brother
and me to come and hear them?
It is true, replied Arabella, that I did desire you to partake with
me of a pleasing and rational amusement, for such I imagined Mr.
Tinsel's histories might afford. Far from a detail of vices, follies,
and irregularities, I expected to have heard the adventures of some
illustrious personages related; between whose actions, and those of the
heroes and heroines of antiquity, I might have found some resemblance.
For instance, I hoped to have heard imitated the sublime courage of
a Clelia; who, to save her honour from the attempts of the impious
Tarquin, leaped into the river Tyber, and swam to the other side; or
the noble resolution of the incomparable Candace, who, to escape out of
the hands of her ravisher, the pirate Zenadorus, set fire to his vessel
with her own hands, and committed herself to the mercy of the waves; or
the constancy and affection of a Mandana, who, for the sake of a Cyrus,
refused the richest crowns in the world, and braved the terrors of
death to preserve herself for him.
As for the men, I hoped to have heard of some who might have almost
equalled the great Oroondates, the invincible Artaban, the valiant
Juba, the renowned Alcamenes, and many thousand heroes of antiquity;
whose glorious exploits in war, and unshaken constancy in love, have
given them an immortal fame.
While Arabella was uttering this long speech, with great emotion, Miss
Glanville, with a sly look at the beau, gave him to understand, that
was her cousin's foible.
Mr. Tinsel, however, not able to comprehend the meaning of what she
said, listened to her with many signs of perplexity and wonder.
Mr. Selvin in secret repined at her prodigious knowledge of history;
and Mr. Glanville, with his eyes fixed on the ground, bit his lips
almost through with madness.
In the mean time, several among the company, desirous of hearing
what the strange lady was saying so loud, and with so much eagerness
and emotion, gathered round them; which Mr. Glanville observing, and
fearing Arabella would expose herself still farther, whispered his
sister to get her away, if possible.
Miss Glanville, though very unwilling, obeyed his injunctions; and
complaining of a sudden head-ache, Arabella immediately proposed
retiring, which was joyfully complied with by Mr. Glanville, who with
the other gentlemen attended them home.