religion, and of interest, some may say of love, which is observable in
the conduct of the native women, either residing under the protection of
Europeans, or coming under the ordinary description of _kusbeen_,
(_i.e._ prostitutes). Their rigid adherence to, or, at least, their
superficial observance of, whatever relates to the purification of their
persons, after contact, is admirable! It is not uncommon, among those
professing immense purity, both of body, and of soul, to get up several
times during the night, for the purpose of ablution. However ridiculous
such a practice may appear, yet we cannot refuse to bestow some
commendation on so strict an etiquette: lamenting, at the same time,
that so much perseverance should be thrown away. Must it not strike
every person, as being highly curious, that a woman should make no
scruple of cohabiting with a man, whose very touch, indeed, his entrance
within a certain area, or even treading on that carpet whereon she were
eating, should pollute the whole of the viands, and occasion their being
thrown to the dogs, or given to some _matranny_, or other equally
debased character? It really becomes a very serious question, I believe
hitherto overlooked, under what plea a woman can allow her child, born
under such a connection, to participate in her meals? But, reason is one
thing, and maternal affection another! Still, though it may require no
great sophistry for a woman to find an apology for such a decided
inconsistency, it seems unaccountable how she is suffered to escape that
vigilance, with which the priesthood, and others of her sect, watch her
every act. I can ascribe it only to a certain deference, which has
habitually sprung up in favor of all relating to Europeans, and
regarding their domestic concerns. This, doubtless, saves many from
those punishments, ordinarily attendant upon the most trifling
dereliction of religious or civil ordinances.
The following description of the private lives and customs of those
native women that are secluded from the public eye, was furnished to me
by a friend, whose extensive researches have rendered him conspicuous as
a Member of the Asiatic Society. I give it in his own words as a
faithful detail, which cannot fail to prove interesting.
‘The very confined knowledge which Europeans have of the domestic
manners and customs of the inhabitants of the Company’s territories, and
of their ally the Nabob Vizier, arising principally from the total want
of familiar intercourse with the natives, and a consequent ignorance of
the language, is a circumstance which, by the inquisitive European
traveller, would scarcely be credited. There are few countries in which
a year’s residence would not give a more intimate knowledge of the
language and manners of the inhabitants, than is generally to be
acquired during a whole life spent in India; particularly in Bengal and
the eastern provinces. Europeans have little connection with the
natives, of either religion; except what relates to business of a
public, or of a private, nature: and, though acquaintances, which
originate from such intercourse, may continue after the causes which
gave rise to them have ceased, yet seldom or never do they extend to
domestic communication. A native will attend rather in a ceremonious way
at a _nautch_[1], or other exhibition given by an European; but no
Hindu, and very few Mussulmans, would eat in an European’s house; at
least at his table. The native will, in his turn, invite his English
friend to a _nautch_, to an exhibition of wild beasts, and so forth; and
sometimes an entertainment may be given, (of which, however, the master
rarely partakes,) while his conduct and behaviour on such occasions can
afford but a slight insight into the domestic manners of the people when
free from that constraint, which the eye of a stranger, who is generally
treated, if not considered as a superior, throws upon all their actions.
-----
Footnote 1:
Or public dance, generally performed by hired women.
-----
‘With the native women, of any rank in society, the European has not the
most distant communication. It will be observed, therefore, how
impossible it is for an European to speak from his own personal
knowledge of the familiar manners of the native of Hindostan. The
following sketch is collected from the various accounts received from
sensible and respectable people of different ranks in society. It will
probably correct some prejudices respecting the fair sex in Eastern
countries, or at least afford some reasonable explanation of the manner
in which they are treated. Their confinement is in general solely
ascribed to the jealousy of the husband, and to the number of wives
allowed to one man, to which the voluptuousness of a warm climate is
supposed to conduce. But, in speaking themselves of the confinement of
their women, they offer the following reasons for the custom, viz. the
variety of tribes, and intermixture of strange people; the instability
of their government, and consequent confusion in the country, requiring
that their families should be placed in secure places; the tyranny of
their former rulers and their favorites, with whom it was no unusual
occurrence to seize by force the wives of others; and, lastly, because a
passage in the Koran[2] seems to recommend a reserved deportment in
women. It says, ‘You shall not shew your _zeenut_[3] to any one except
your husband, your own father, or your husband’s; (the present custom in
Bengal precludes him;) your own son, or your husband’s son; or your
brother, or his son, or your sister’s son; or your own female servants,
being of your own faith; or your male servants of the following
description: such as old men, eunuchs, debilitated men, or fools, who
think of nothing but eating, or little children, unto such are you
allowed to shew your _zeenut_[3].’ Such exceptions from so sacred an
authority, which leaves little but the fingers and toes for general
inspection, would seem to render the seclusion of a Mussulman lady a
matter of necessity, not choice.
-----
Footnote 2:
The Institutes of Mahomed, held in the same estimation as our Bible.
Footnote 3:
_Zeenut_, literally _ornamented_, means such parts as are usually
covered; such as the breast, from the knee to the ancle, from the
wrist upwards, the hand, shoulders, &c.
-----
‘Neither the husbands, nor the wives, will, by any means, allow jealousy
to be the cause; for they say, ‘Were a woman viciously inclined, even
encircled by walls of iron, she would, by some contrivance or other,
find means for accomplishing her purpose. It is not,’ say they, ‘against
such their precautions are aimed: it is, that the minds of those who are
really pure may not be contaminated through the force of bad example;
and, that women, being naturally weak, and easily led astray, as may be
inferred from the story of poor Eve, it becomes the duty of the husbands
to guard them from the flowery paths of temptation.’ Such, indeed, is
the force of education, that a lady of Hindostan, of decent parentage,
would rather suffer death than exposure to public view. In imprecating
the greatest evils on the head of an enemy, a female could not conceive
any term so severe as those which conveyed a wish that the veil of
concealment might be rent asunder. However, notwithstanding the
seclusion of the ladies is so much talked of, and deemed so harsh, it
will, probably, on investigation, be found, that the prohibition extends
only to such as could have but a slight intercourse with them, even if
the full influence of social communication obtained. Their rules
respecting _muhrem_ and _na muhrem_, words implying _forbidden_ and _not
forbidden_, are, in their principle, simple enough, viz. ‘That a woman
may be seen by any man whose relationship to her precludes marriage’;
though custom has established many deviations from this rule; all which
seem to have arisen, not from jealousy, but from a mistaken sense of
modesty.
‘In the upper provinces, all the brothers visit each other’s wives
without distinction; but, in Bengal, only those junior to the husband.
Indeed, in Bengal, the distinctions of _muhrem_, and _na muhrem_, are so
whimsical, and amount to such a mixture of Hindu superstition and
Mahomedan prejudice, as would render a detailed account of them
disgusting to the reader. I shall therefore comprize what I have to say
on the subject in as few words as possible.
‘A wife, even in Bengal, may enjoy the society of all her own male
relations. In this light are considered _chellas_, children brought up
in the family, and the relations of the nurse; the nurse being
considered as standing in the same relationship as the natural parents;
and often, among the great in the upper provinces, where two females are
solicitous to form an intimate connection, it is accomplished, as
completely as marriage could do it, by obtaining a female of one family
to suckle a child belonging to the other. Male friends, of the
respectable class, though never permitted to see each other’s wives,
make enquiries after the ladies’ healths, send and receive compliments,
and are sometimes permitted (with the precaution of the curtain) to free
and unrestrained conversation. It may be seen from the above, that the
circle of a lady’s male acquaintance may be much more extensive than
Europeans would in general suppose; for, taking advantage of the spirit
of the regulations, and waiving the more preposterous, half a dozen
sisters might enjoy the society of a number of men, little less limitted
than falls to the lot of most ladies of the middle ranks in colder
climates; and it must be remembered, that, what is said here generally
applies to the middle ranks, including the lesser _Ameers_.[4]
-----
Footnote 4:
_Ameers_ are persons high in office, or of illustrious families. This
title is also bestowed on military commanders.
-----
‘In the upper provinces, the ladies and gentlemen, at least among the
_Sheeaus_,[5] generally eat together; but in Bengal this is not the
case; there the wife does not even presume to eat in the husband’s
presence, and never partakes of any of his amusements. In the upper
provinces the social qualities are better understood; for when the
company consists of persons admissible into the _zenanah_, they all go
in; the men and women dine together, and, in general, sit on opposite
sides. The ladies, like ours, indulge in _tiffings_, (slight repasts,)
it being delicate to eat but little before company.
-----
Footnote 5:
A particular _cast_, or sect.
-----
‘When there is an assemblage of fair visitors, the husband seldom enters
the _zenanah_, that he may not disturb their amusements, which, when
unobserved by men, take a free range. The wife never mentions her
husband by name. This respect, as it is termed, is reciprocal. Indeed,
people in general avoid addressing each other by name, substituting some
title; as ‘your ladyship;’ or by the name of a favorite child, as
‘William’s mother;’ or by a periphrasis. It is so strictly observed by
some wives, that they would not mention an indifferent matter by the
same name as their husband is called by. Should, for instance, the
husband’s name be ‘_Year_,’ the wife would say, ‘I am sixteen
twelvemonths old,’ rather than sixteen ‘years.’ However, this excessive
nicety will only be found among villagers.
‘Some _ladies_ pride themselves much in the arts of needle-work and
cookery: excellence in the former being deemed a good criterion to form
a judgment of a lady’s education: a wife, therefore, who did not take
upon herself the whole internal management of the household, would be
held in great disrepute. They are, in general, allowed a certain sum
yearly for cloaths, and all expences of the house within doors, from
which, by good management, they often save considerable sums of money,
and, in times of distress, when the inconsiderate husband thinks his all
is gone, often does his wife relieve his distresses from her little
treasury.
‘In addition to the established allowance, there are other fixed sums
appropriated. In their holidays, which frequently occur, dinner is
always dressed within the _zenanah_, except upon occasions of great
feasts and entertainments, when, of course, the arrangement must be made
by men. When only a few friends are expected, the wife, being informed
of their number and rank, issues her orders accordingly, through her
female attendants, to the male servants of the house. The education of
the daughters, and sons also, whilst young, is entirely entrusted to the
mother. Should one of the former forget those lessons of chastity, and
of correctness of behaviour, which it is her mother’s constant
solicitude to impress on her mind; nay, should her conduct even be such
as to create suspicion; immediate death from the hand of the parent
would be the consequence. I am speaking here of rather the higher
orders; for people in the middle ranks of life are more restrained in
their conduct, more within the reach of the law, and, besides, the point
of honor which acts with such force in high-minded families, loses its
impetus with them.—Such is the influence the women possess in Hindostan,
that, whenever _Soonees_ and _Sheeaus_[6] intermarry, (a circumstance
not unusual,) the children are always instructed in the tenets of the
mother, and often their first prattle consists in a ridicule of their
father’s faith.
-----
Footnote 6:
Two different sects of the Mahomedan religion.
-----
‘At all marriages, (the ceremonies of which will be hereafter detailed,)
or on the occurrence of much-wished-for events, such as the return of a
son safely from the wars, the recovery of a lost child, &c., or when a
lady wishes to be enrolled among the _naik zuns_, or _pure matrons_, a
feast is given in honor of Fatima, the daughter of the Prophet, which is
termed _kundooree_, a word implying _off-falls_.—No woman can partake of
this feast, unless she be of the purest morals; and it is generally
imagined, that an impure person, even tasting the sacred food prepared
on that occasion, would surely die. The lady who gives the feast,
performs menial offices to the guests, such as washing their feet, &c.
The victuals served up, consists of such articles as Fatima is supposed
to have preferred, viz. rice, ghee, sugar, pulse, and vegetables. A
share is sent to the men; but not of that set apart for the offering; of
which the pure matrons may alone partake. To be considered as such, a
woman must have regularly kept all the annual feasts, and be married;
or, if a virgin, she must then at least disclaim all intentions of
changing her condition. No woman contracted in marriage only for a time,
such as the _moota_[7] of the _Sheeaus_, and the _nekaw_[7] of the
_Soonees_, can be admitted. The word _nekaw_, among the vulgar, implies,
but improperly, the secondary kind of marriage. No woman, who has
married a second time, though she may not have conversed with the first
husband, can partake of the _kundooree_.
-----
Footnote 7:
A loose state of irregular matrimony, sanctioned by the Mahomedan law.
-----
‘The females are seldom married before the age of fifteen. (I wish it to
be understood, when I speak indefinitely of the Mussulmans, that I
allude to those of the upper provinces; for the manners of the Bengal
Mussulman partake so much of the Hindu, as to leave but few traces of
their original character perceptible). An earlier period is frequently
fixed on, where purposes of interest and policy may be answered. Old
maids, at least among the great, are not at all uncommon; caused by a
kind of false pride, or I know not what to term it, of the parents, who
cannot bear that their daughters’ nakedness should be known to any one.
Nadir Shah, it is said, either from a prejudice of this nature, or more
probably from a jealousy of too highly honoring any of his subjects,
destroyed all his female children, which were extremely numerous,
immediately on their birth, except one; who was concealed from him till
she had attained her thirteenth year. It was then contrived that she
should be brought into his presence. She is said to have been all that
was beautiful in nature! She flew to his embrace, which he fondly
returned, ignorant that he clasped his own daughter. But, when this
devoted child addressed him as her father, the hardened monster seized
the innocent victim by the legs, and kept her head immersed in a
fountain till she expired! Such an account, even of the unfeeling Nadir
Shah, is scarcely to be credited; but the story may shew the name he has
left behind him in Hindostan.
‘The late vizier, Asoph ul Dowlah, left about thirty sisters unmarried;
not that I believe _his_ delicacy would have suffered from any such
fastidious notions as above alluded to; their celibacy was owing to the
difficulty of obtaining suitable matches for women of their rank; which,
in the present state of the country, must be almost impracticable.
‘Reading and writing are not usual accomplishments with the ladies of
Hindostan. Among the great, there are, however, some who read such books
as the Koran, &c. and some few who write; but of all delightful
intercourse by letter they are entirely debarred; it being deemed
indecent even for a wife directly to address her husband; therefore,
whether she employ an amanuensis to pen a letter, or be capable of
transcribing it herself, it must be written as from a third person; such
as a son, or near relation.
‘Among the better order, about ten in a hundred can read the Koran; but
it must not be understood by reading, that they thence comprehend one
single word of it; that book being to them, what our Bible, in a Latin
version, must formerly have been to our common people. The mode of
passing their time, though apparently not affording all that variety
which an European lady enjoys, is not devoid of amusement. They
generally rise, or should do so, at daybreak; that they may have time to
purify themselves before the rising of the sun, at which time the first
prayer is repeated.—After prayers, the important business at the
toilette commences, in which, as is usual among ladies, two or three
hours, at least, are _profitably_ spent. The _missee_ is applied to the
feet and sweet-smelling oils, &c. to the body; while their flowing
ringlets (those nets which entangle unhappy lovers, and which their
poets are so fond of describing) are now nicely adjusted. In short, the
toilette is become with them a perfect art, and much of a young lady’s
time is engrossed in attending to instructions on this head. After the
toilette, comes the breakfast; which does not, like ours, consist of
fixed articles, but varies agreeably to the taste of the parties, and to
the management of the mistress. It will not appear unnecessary to
observe, that they never use knives or spoons; and, indeed, they seem to
think that we lose much of the relish of the food by the artificial aids
we employ on such occasions.
‘After breakfast, and having issued the necessary orders for dinner, the
lady of the house, attended by her daughters and slave-girls, sits down
to needle-work; an excellence on which, as well as all kinds of
embroidery, they greatly pride themselves. Among the middle ranks, such
as can write, often employ themselves in copying the Koran, which, when
compleated, is either sold for, or given to, some poor person, to be
converted into property more needful to him.
‘The sound of the _cherky_, or spinning wheel, is always considered
indicative of poverty, and is therefore seldom heard in the houses of
the great; but women of a middling class, often spin large quantities of
cotton-wool into fine thread, intended to be wove into mulmuls, &c. for
their own apparel. The coarser skeans being allotted to their
_baundees_, or female slaves.
‘Between twelve and one they generally dine, every person washing the
face and hands before the company sits down at table, or rather
table-_cloth_; which is spread on the ground, and around which all the
party arrange themselves: except it be among the Bengal Mussulmans, or
among such as have adopted the Hindu manners, by whom a wife is not
permitted to eat in the presence of her husband. This meal generally
consists of boiled rice, or of wheaten cakes, stewed or _curried_
vegetables. Curry is made of fowls, kid, and goats’ flesh. Beef is
seldom sought after, except in cities; and mutton is by most considered
as an inflating, unwholesome food. The head, heart, lights, feet, &c. of
animals, are rejected. The dinner is usually divided into as many shares
as the company consists of, and brought in that way from the cook-room;
except on great occasions, when the servant serves it out. They have no
change of plates until the sweetmeats are brought in. Tooth-picks, and
the wash-hand bason, are presented to each, except there should be a
large company; in that case, they perform the ablution apart.
‘They have not the custom of any particular person saying _grace_ before
or after meals; each repeating in a low voice the _name of God_. After
meals, thanks are returned by the male part, but not by the female: a
curious distinction! the reason for which, my Mussulman narrator
ungallantly alleges to spring from the nature of woman in general.
Immediately after dinner, the parties retire to take their
afternoon-nap; on arising from which the toilette again engages the
ladies’ attention. Disengaged from it, they walk round their gardens
(which are enclosed,) to enjoy the evening air. After sun-set, when the
evening prayers are over, the relations and friends visit each other;
and this is the hour in which the husband withdraws himself from general
intrusion, and retires to the _zenanah_. Here, surrounded by his wife
and children, he enjoys the pleasing converse of the one, and the
innocent diversions of the other. The young folks of both sexes play at
_blindman’s buff_, and such-like sports, which are generally succeeded
by the proposing of enigmas, the narration of enchanting tales,
unpremeditated rhymes, and other various, and not unuseful, exhibitions
of wit. In such disports, great part of the night glides away unnoticed,
as the female visitors do not return home till the next morning. Games
are not much encouraged among them. _Patchees_, a game in high vogue
among the ladies, is, I believe, the only one allowed. The word means
twenty-five. The game is played with _cowries_, which answer for dice.
‘It is a well-known circumstance, that no Mussulman, or Mussulmanee,
ever thinks of dancing for the pleasure of the thing. The _meerassen_,
(a set of women whose province it is,) are called in on particular
occasions: but, among people of high rank, it is usual to have a number
of slave-girls, termed _gaeen_,[8] taught music and dancing, who are
always ready to amuse the family.
-----
Footnote 8:
Probably from _gownah_, (_i.e._ to sing).
-----