"He can not e'en essay to walk sedate,
But in his very gait one sees a jest
That's ready to break out in spite of all
His seeming."
Some years ago Judge Smith was upon the bench of the Police Court
at New Orleans, and during the time Judge Wilson occupied the same
position at Cincinnati.
Judge Smith made a trip to the North one summer, and stopped at
Cincinnati for a few days on his way home.
While in the Queen City he formed the acquaintance of Judge Moses
F. Wilson, and as he was in the "thirty-fifty" business like himself,
he felt as though they were somewhat akin.
Judge Smith was very fond of a joke, and when he met Mose Wilson,
he met a good-humored man, who had a fondness for "gags," and was
ever joking.
These kindred spirits were soon well pleased with each other.
Wilson felt that the duty of entertaining a fellow Judge from a
sister city was incumbent upon him, and he just spread himself to
do it.
They had a right royal time together, but all things must come to
an end some time, and the time had come for Judge Smith to tear
himself away and return once more to the field of his labor. They
bid each other an affectionate good-bye, but not until after Mose
had promised Smith to visit him the next winter, and stay forevermore.
Judge Smith was at the depot. His baggage was on board, and he
was just stepping upon the platform, when two gentlemen stepped
up, and one of them said:
"We want you," at the same time displaying his police badge.
"What for?" inquired Smith.
"Suspicion," replied the officer.
"Gentlemen, you are mistaken; I am Judge of the Police Court of
New Orleans."
"Oh! you are? Well, we never arrest a fellow like you that he is
not a Judge, lawyer, doctor, or some big bug somewhere, to hear
him tell it; but you take a walk with us up to the chief's office,
and explain to him who and what you are."
Smith saw it was of no use trying to explain. The train was moving
off with his baggage on board, and he was left (in the hands of
the two officers). They marched him up to the chief's office, and
when they arrived everything seemed to be in readiness for an
immediate trial; for there was Judge Wilson, the prosecuting
attorney, and quite a number of witnesses.
Smith was found guilty of desertion. The judge fined him (a bottle),
and ordered that he be confined within the city limits for one day.
Smith paid the fine, but pleaded to be let off from the imprisonment.
Judge Wilson was firm (for once in his life), so poor Smith had to
serve out his time; but the Judge was kind enough to see that he
did not suffer for the want of anything, and when he was set at
liberty he was like some birds born and raised in a cage. They
like the confinement, and when the door is open they will not fly
away; but frighten the bird, and away it will go. It was so with
Smith; he had already stayed too long. He got frightened and flew
away to the sunny South.
The cold blasts of winter were sweeping over the North, when Judge
Wilson remembered his promise made to Judge Smith to visit him in
New Orleans, and he was soon on his way to make his promise good,
for he is a man of his word.
He telegraphed Smith that he would arrive on a certain train,
expecting, of course, that he would be received with a brass band,
etc.
The train on which Mose was being transported from the land of snow
to the land of flowers was about ten miles from New Orleans, when
it passed a northern-bound freight, and in a few moments two large
men, with brass buttons on their coats, came marching into the
Cincinnati sleeper. They came down the aisle, closely scanning
the faces of all the male passengers. They halted at the seat
occupied by Mose. They looked at him and then at a photograph they
had with them. Finally one of them put his hand on Mose's shoulder,
and said:
"We want you's."
The Judge took in the situation at once, for he had not forgotten
the time he played a similar joke; but he did not like the idea of
all the passengers (especially as there were a great many ladies
on board) thinking that he was under arrest in earnest. So he
smiled one of those sweet smiles of his, and said:
"Officers, this is all a joke. I am Judge of the Police Court of
Cincinnati, and I am well acquainted with the Judge of your Court.
I expected to be received in New Orleans with a brass band, in
place of brass buttons."
"Do yez hear that? He a Judge of the Police Court; expected to be
received wid a brass band. Why, he's got more brass than there is
in twenty brass bands. He's the biggest thafe in the whole country.
Didn't we see the chafe go right straight to the rogue's gallery
and get his picture; and didn't he tell Pat and meself to come out
here and arrest yez, and didn't we's ride on a freight train?"
Mose saw it was no use trying to make the officers or passengers
understand that it was a joke, so he said:
"All right, I will go with you."
"Of course yez will. Won't he, Pat?"
"You bet he will," says Pat.
The officers sat down facing him, so they could keep a watch on
him, for they were afraid he would try to jump out the window.
When the train arrived at New Orleans the officers got a carriage
(at Mose's request), and they were driven to the chief's office.
The chief pretended not to know the Honorable Judge, and told him
to send for his friends. He called for an officer to take Mose
down and lock him up, when in walked Judge Smith. Mose smiled and
said:
"Smith, I owe you one."
Judge Smith told the chief he would be responsible for Mose while
in the city, so he let him go. There was a carriage in waiting.
They got in and were driven to Leon's restaurant, where they found
a large number of Judge Smith's friends and a fine dinner awaiting
them.
After dinner, while we were drinking to Mose's health and smoking
cigars, Judge Smith requested me to show our honored guest the baby
ticket. I did, and downed him for a bottle, but it did not cost
him a cent, for his Queen City money was no good in the Crescent
City so long as he remained with the Judge, for they were kindred
spirits.