"The hypocrite had left his mass, and stood
In naked ugliness. He was a man
Who stole the livery of the court of heaven
To serve the devil in."
I was coming from New Orleans on board the steamer _E. H. Fairchilds_,
bound for Louisville. She was literally packed with people. After
supper, on Saturday evening, we started a game in the barber shop,
which was kept up until Sunday morning. Over $8,000 changed hands,
and I was a big winner. After eating my breakfast I went out on
the guards to take a smoke before going to bed. While I was enjoying
my cigar, a fine looking old gentleman about sixty years of age
came up to me and entered into conversation. Presently the Captain
joined us. The old gentleman said he was a minister from Louisville,
and would like to preach in the cabin. The Captain gave his consent.
The minister placed his arm in mine, and, before I was aware of
what we were doing, he had me half way down the ladies' cabin, and
then it was too late to back out or get away. He sat me down near
where he was standing. I was impressed with his discourse, for it
was full of practical sayings. He spoke of gambling in very plain
terms, and of the game that had been kept up all night in the barber
shop. He said: "It was a pity that such a fine looking gentleman
as the one who sat near him should play cards for money." To tell
the truth, his remarks on the subject of my business did make me
feel a little mean. He did not look directly at me, but I thought
he was getting close to home. The collection amounted to considerable,
and I chipped in my share liberally. After the morning services
were over I retired to my room to take a sleep, and it was not long
until I had forgotten that we had an old preacher on board.
I spent that Sunday evening reading until near midnight; most of
the passengers had retired. There was but one passenger in the
cabin, and he was sitting with his back to me, reading. I approached
him, and found it was the minister. I had changed my dress so that
he did not recognize me. I sat down near him, and he began talking
about the gambling game of the night before, and he handled the
gamblers without gloves. I sided with him in his views, and then
trumped up a story of how I had been roped into the game, and had
lost $1,000; but that my father was rich, and gave me all the money
I could spend, and that I did not mind the loss very much. He
became very much interested, and asked a great many questions. I
told him I had picked up some of the tickets that they played the
game with, and had them in my room, and if he would like to see
them I would go and get them. "Oh, I would like very much to see
the way it was played, and I will go to your room if you will show
me." We went to my room, and I showed him the old three-card monte
racket. I let him play with the cards until he thought he knew
all about them, and he said to me: "My dear sir, I can't see how
you could lose money on such a simple thing. I would not fail to
pick out the right ticket every time." I said to him, "I'll make
you a proposition; I will throw the tickets, and put up $100 with
you. If you gain the money, you are to donate it to your church;
and if I get it I will do the same, for I want to show you how I
lost playing them." The old fellow accepted my proposition, for
he wanted to give the money to his church (and so did I). Of course
I displayed a big roll, and told him I would just as soon make it
$200 as $100. He agreed, and we put up. He turned the ticket,
but he failed to pick the right one. It was such a simple thing
that he got excited, and put down $200 more, and again he failed
to pick out the right one. We kept on until the old sucker lost
an even $1,000, then I said to him, "I am really sorry, for I had
rather lost the amount myself. This money will do me no good, and
it would hardly benefit your church; we have had lots of fun, and
I want you to gain the money back. I will put up the $1,000 against
your watch and chain, and when you gain it back we can have a big
laugh over it." He put up his handsome watch and chain (that had
been presented to him by his congregation), and, as he was playing
in hard luck, I soon had the "ticker." He bade me good night, and
went to his room.
I went to see the Captain, and when I showed him the reverend
gentleman's watch, with the inscriptions on it, he could hardly
believe his own eyes. After having a good laugh with the Captain,
I went to the minister's room, and found him on his knees. When
he saw me he said, "I have just been praying for you." I replied,
"Brother, hadn't you do a little of that for yourself?" "Oh," says
he, "I have prayed mostly for myself this night." "Well," I said,
"since you have prayed for yourself, and me too, here is your watch,
chain, and $100. 'Go and sin no more.'" He said (with tears in
his eyes), "God bless you." I left the boat at Natchez, and did
not get to see the old gentleman again.
I caught a preacher once for all his money, his gold spectacles,
and his sermons. Then I had some of those queer feelings come over
me (and when they came upon me I could not resist their influence),
so I gave him his sermons and specks back. At one time there were
fifteen preachers on the Jackson Road, going to a conference at
Hazelhurst. I got in among them, and, just for fun, I opened up
monte, and I caught five out of the fifteen for every cent they
had. I tell you, my dear readers, preachers are but human, and
some of them will steal the livery of the court of heaven to serve
the devil (Devol) in.