My old partner (Bush) and I had been up all night in New Orleans
playing faro, and we were several hundred dollars winners, and
thought we would walk down to the French market and get a cup of
coffee before we went to bed. We saw a catfish that would weigh
about 125 pounds; its mouth was so large that I could put my head
into it. We got stuck on the big cat, and while we were looking
at it an old man came up to me and said: "That is the largest
catfish I ever saw." Bush was a little way off from me just at
the time, and knowing I would have some fun (if not a bet) with
the old man, he kept out of the way. I said to the old gent: "You
are the worst judge of a fish I ever saw; that is not a cat, it is
a pike, and the largest one ever brought to this market." He looked
at me and then at the fish, and then said: "Look here, my boy,
where in the d---l were you raised?" I told him I was born and
raised in Indiana. "Well, I thought you were from some hoop-pole
State." We got to arguing about it; and I appeared to be mad, and
offered to bet him $100 that the fish was a pike. Says he, "Do
you mean it?" I pulled out a roll, threw down $100 and told him
to cover it. He lammed her up, and I said: "Who will we leave it
to?" We looked around and saw Bush, with a memorandum book in his
hand and a pen behind his ear, talking to a woman who sold vegetables,
and he was acting as if he was collector of the market. I said:
"May be that man with the book in his hand might know." The old
fellow called Bush, and said to him, "Do you belong about here?"
"Oh, yes; I have belonged about here for a good many years," says
Bush. "Well, sir, you are just the man we want to decide our bet,"
says the old gent. "Well, gentlemen, I am in somewhat of a hurry;
but if you don't detain me too long, I will be glad to serve you
to the best of my ability," said Bush. "We want you to tell us
what kind of a fish this is." "Well, gentlemen, that can be done
easily." "Out with it," said the old gent. Bush braced himself
up, and said: "I have been market-master here for twenty years,
and that is the largest _pike_ I ever saw in this market." "Well!
Well! Well!" says the old man; "I have lived on the Tombigbee
River for forty-five years, and I never saw two bigger fools than
you two." I invited the old man and the "market-master" to join
me in a cup of coffee. Bush accepted, but the old one from the
Tombigbee declined, saying "he did not drink with men that did not
know a catfish from a pike." We bid him good morning and went
home, and we were both sound asleep in a short time; for we felt
we had did an honest night's and morning's work.