Club life in all large cities is becoming so important a factor of
social life that no book on etiquette would be complete without some
notice of its varied features.
The membership of the smaller social clubs is chosen solely for the
purpose of social enjoyment, and they frequently blackball names that
are brought up for membership simply from the standpoint of some
member to whom the one proposed may not be personally agreeable. If
an applicant is blackballed once, his friends should not persist in
introducing his name again.
In the larger clubs, where the members are never all thrown together at
any one time, no one should blackball a name from a personal standpoint.
If any one, however, is aware of some blemish in the character of the
candidate for admission, he has good grounds for objection.
Observing the Rules.
A new member of a club should at once acquaint himself with the rules
and regulations that govern the organization and govern himself
accordingly. The courtesy that obtains in the home is to be observed in
the club-rooms.
Opinions of others should be respected, and exciting discussions, or
disturbing topics of conversation, are to be avoided there, as they
should be in the home circle. Remember that every one has the same
right to his preconceived opinions as you have to yours.
Treat all books, papers and other club property with due care. Never
take any article away from the club-house. Never monopolize any one
article to the exclusion of others.
When there are certain rooms appointed for smoking, confine yourself to
them when indulging in the weed. In the reading-room observe the same
respect for the readers that you would wish observed toward yourself,
only another rendering of the Golden Rule which is at the foundation of
all good manners. While there converse very little, and that in a low
tone of voice.
Do not look upon the servants of the club as your private property, and
never send them on personal errands without first obtaining the consent
of the manager. Never expect undue attention from the waiters. Do not
take dogs into club-rooms; they are liable to destroy furniture, and
everyone may not appreciate them as much as you do.
Morning dress is worn at the club. In the evening a dress suit may
be worn if desired, but morning costume is equally appropriate. Hats
should be removed at luncheon or dinner.
Gentlemen will refrain from much mentioning of the names of ladies
while in the club-rooms, or from indulging in scandal. Serious
ill-feeling is often aroused in this manner. Many men refuse to listen
to anything of the kind, and will retire if any such subject is brought
up.
Introduction of Friends.
Some clubs have cards for introducing visitors, as:
_VISITING CARD._
COLUMBIA CLUB, 420 Madison Square.
Admit Mr. ...............................
Introduced by Mr. ...................................
Club members are at liberty to introduce friends at their respective
clubs, but care should be exercised in this respect, since they
must vouch for their friends’ behavior, and in many cases are held
responsible for the debts they may contract. It is not at all necessary
that such a guest should be formally presented to any of the officials,
nor to many of the members, unless in the case of some guest whom the
club would delight to honor.
[Illustration: RECEPTION AT THE CLUB.]
The guest of a club is expected to conform to all rules of the
association while enjoying its hospitalities, but he may also avail
himself of all its privileges, with the exception that he is not
permitted to introduce another stranger. A gentleman about to leave
town, and who has been entertained at a club, leaves his card in a
sealed envelope for the gentleman who introduced him.
Ladies’ clubs are now coming to the front in such profusion as to
make it necessary to give them some notice. The same general rules of
etiquette apply to them as to a club of men. As a rule, women’s clubs
have some especial feature, some object to call them into being.
The most usual form that the club activities assume is that of literary
work of some kind, either as a gathering of literary women, or simply
a gathering of women for some particular form of literary study. They
usually give club banquets and club luncheons, but rarely attain to the
dignity of a café.
Barring Out Disputed Questions.
The temper of the meetings depends very largely on the kind of
organization that holds them, whether, for instance, as in the case
of Sorosis, it is a club of refined and educated women, of literary
and artistic pursuits and tastes, or whether it is one for reform, as
temperance, suffrage, social purity, or religious development and work.
The members of Sorosis, when in session, are well-bred, if not always
clearheaded and reasonable. Religious gatherings of women are seldom
other than of good temper, and quiet in their tone.
Political meetings and sectarian meetings are apt to be turbulent. This
fact has been recognized by some women’s clubs, Sorosis, for example,
and they will not permit the subjects to be discussed or introduced in
any way at meetings.
The various business womens and working girls’ clubs are instituted for
the sole purpose usually of furnishing good lunches at the noon hour at
reasonable rates, and combine this feature with pleasant reception and
lounging rooms, and often with various literary and business courses of
study.
There is one Ladies’ Suburban Club—the Alexandra—the most exclusive of
London’s women clubs. It is also the most successful. No individual
of the other sex above the age of twelve is admitted beyond the
doormat. Husbands, fathers, and brothers, are all ruthlessly excluded
from within its sacred precincts. It furnishes an admirable center
for shopping operations, and for lunches, teas, etc. It possesses
the advantages of bedrooms, let at the most reasonable rate, so that
girls and young married women can spend a night or two in town without
any trouble to chaperons or maids. Women friends, of course, may be
admitted into the club, and servants and tradespeople interviewed.
It is named for the Princess of Wales, and no one who has not been
presented to the Queen is eligible to membership.
There is also a Ladies’ Suburban Club in Chicago that partakes of the
same features, save that it is not founded upon quite so aristocratic
a basis, and the suburban woman heartily appreciates its benefits. No
more does she wander aimlessly up and down the streets while awaiting
a home-bound train. She has a resting place of her own within easy
reach of the shopping district, one where she can be made presentable
for matinée or theater. Here, on one floor, she finds hairdressers,
manicurists, a café, a woman ready to repair damaged garments; and
should she miss the last train, comfortable sleeping-rooms, where she
can spend the night quietly. There, the club-shopper is ready to attend
sales and do all manner of purchasing—from ordering funeral flowers
to selecting a good seat at the theater, while the club nursery is
responsible for all children left there. Their membership hails from
many states.
Presiding at a Woman’s Club.
The average woman is not so well qualified to preside over meetings
in which continual interruptions are occurring, through the members
rising to points of order, and other questions of privilege, because,
unlike the average man, she has not given much attention to the study
of parliamentary law.
The rules for conducting a meeting do not admit of any personal
feeling or individual taste on the part of the presiding officer. On
the contrary, there is a code of rules expressly laid down to guide and
regulate such matters.
The presiding officer is not supposed to control the opinions of
the members, but merely to direct them. She should be in entire
sympathy with the objects of the meeting, and have a full and complete
understanding of all its aims, objects and purposes. This latter is a
very important consideration. Members, and especially new ones, are
constantly asking for information, and unless the presiding officer
can furnish it briefly and at once, delays are sure to occur, and the
meeting be anything but pleasant or satisfactory to the other members
present.
Order of Business.
Having been chosen to preside, the first duty is to call the meeting
to order. If it is a first meeting, the objects for which it is called
should then be stated clearly, but in as few words as possible. If it
is not a first meeting, but a regular or constituted one, the presiding
officer should have the roll of members called by the secretary. The
minutes of the last meeting should then be read. Next, the presiding
officer should appoint her committees for the session; or, if it is a
regular meeting, the reports of the various committees appointed at the
previous session should be heard. Next, the regular business should be
taken up, and having been disposed of, the presiding officer should
allow the introduction of any new business that may properly come
before the meeting.
It is of the utmost importance that a presiding officer should be
possessed of good eyesight, so as to be able to perceive a member
as soon as she rises. There must be no hesitation or nervousness
about a presiding officer. She must be ever on the alert, with all
her faculties about her. She must be broad-minded, liberal, and
clear-visioned, with a readiness to instruct the members when any
mistakes are made, and always willing to grant the full liberty of
debate to all; for out of the widest differences will come the very
best conclusions after full and fair discussion.