Pope says: “They move easiest who have learned to dance,” and while
the opinions of society are greatly divided on the subject of this
amusement, it cannot be denied that there is much truth in the
assurance that Locke gives us in his treatise on “Education:”
“Since nothing appears to me to give children so much becoming
confidence and behavior as dancing, I think they should be taught to
dance as soon as they are capable of learning it. For though this
consists only in outward gracefulness of motion, ... yet it gives
children manly thoughts and courage more than anything.”
For the many, however, to whom these early advantages have not been
given, while the dowry of a quick ear and natural grace has enabled
them to “pick up” this social accomplishment, a few hints may be of use.
Dancing is really an art, and one that the gentleman especially should
understand (since he takes the lead) before he ventures to ask a lady
out upon the floor.
The gentleman should be very careful in the manner of holding his
partner. He should give her proper support by putting his arm firmly
around her, but not drawing her too close. Her right hand should be
held in his left, the lady turning the right palm downward and almost
straightening her right arm. The gentleman should bend his left arm
slightly backward. The joined hands should be held steadily but kept
away from the gentleman’s body. To rest them upon his hip, is actual
vulgarity. The gentleman’s right shoulder and the lady’s left, should
be kept as far apart as the other shoulders, hence his right elbow
must not be too much bent. The upper part of the body should be kept
quiet, and the head held naturally, not turned one side, while the
eyes are neither thrown up nor cast down in an affected style. Their
steps should be in harmony and the gentleman must be very careful not
to permit a collision with other couples.
At every slightest pause in the dance the gentleman should instantly
drop his arm from the lady’s waist. In these intervals it is proper to
fan her if she desire it, and to enter into chatty conversation.
Gentlemen avoid all boisterous conduct in the dance, such as swinging
a partner too rapidly, or lifting her too much from the floor. She, on
her part, should dance lightly, never permitting her partner to carry
her around, but performing her share well, or not dance at all.
The Most Desirable Dances.
In making up a dancing program, quadrilles should always find a place,
since many can walk through its measures that will not undertake
the more active dances. It also gives opportunity for the graceful
curtsey which no lady should fail to learn, and can be enlivened with
conversation.
To the alluring round dances, polka, schottische, waltz, etc., there
are many who strongly object, but, danced in private homes and in most
cases under the eye of the young girl’s mother, there can be found
nothing dangerously objectionable in this favorite amusement. The
minuet is a stately, beautiful old dance that is sometimes introduced,
enabling both old and young to join in its slow and gracious measure.
New steps, new changes and new dances, with the technical features of
which it is not the province of this book to deal, are continually
coming into vogue with each season. A few words, however, with regard
to the general etiquette of that justly popular dance, the German,
will be in place here. The German, called the “Cotillion” in France
and in Germany, where it originated, is the most fascinating dance in
social use. Balls at which it is to appear, signifying that fact in
the invitations sent out are more elaborate in their arrangements, and
are held to a later hour, since the earlier portion of the night is
devoted to waltzing and other dances, and the German is not commenced
until after supper.
Many leave before it begins, especially those who expect to make the
tour of several balls and receptions during the night. A second and
hot supper is usually served at its close, to those who participate in
its measures. Be certain when the German is to be introduced that a
sufficient number of men are invited to make the affair a success.
The leader of the cotillion is chosen by the hostess, and should be
thoroughly familiar with all its figures, new and old; skilled to
command, and prompt to bring order out of confusion; at the same time
energetic and good tempered. As there will always be some in a German
who do not understand it, the leader must be ready to help them out.
Such parties should take their places near the end, and, in this way,
will become familiar with a figure before it is their turn to dance.
No Favorites to be Allowed.
The leader will also see that gentlemen do not neglect some ladies
for the pleasure of dancing frequently with more favored partners. In
this he should be assisted by the hostess, and gentlemen should never
disregard her quiet suggestion on this score. After all, “the ball-room
is a more fitting field for a display of the Christian graces than most
Evangelical people are willing to admit.”
All those dancing the German must consider themselves as introduced,
and each lady or gentleman is free to call “up” any participant for his
or her partner. In fact it is desirable that they should do so, since
by devoting themselves entirely to their acquaintance there is danger
of some being debarred from the amusement. For these reasons the German
is unsuited for a public ball, and fitted only for a private house
where the invitation is expected to certify the character of the guest.
Varied and beautiful are the figures that may be adopted, but the
scope of this book will not permit full instructions for its elaborate
changes. One suggestion, however, is in point; do not choose those
“romping” figures where the fun is liable to become too fast and
furious for ball-room decorum. The figures requiring “properties,” such
as ribbons, flags, Japanese lanterns, aprons, mirrors, etc., should
have all the necessary articles carefully provided beforehand.
During most of the figures, “favors” are distributed; flowers, amusing
trinkets, or sometimes pretty little souvenirs are given. Rosettes,
scarf pins, bangles, tiny flags, artificial butterflies, bon-bons in
embroidered satin bags, badges, painted silk sachets, etc., are all
appropriate. Tiny lanterns filled with perfume, and sometimes amusing
toys will add to the fun of the occasion. It is better taste to give
simple articles than to resort to the gifts of great value that some
hostesses have bestowed, since such giving always suggests ostentation.
Flowers alone are sometimes used and it is not necessary to make the
favors a source of undue expense.
Regrets must be sent one’s hostess if unable to attend a German, that
the place may be filled. If a gentleman invites a lady especially as
his partner for a German, he should send her a bouquet and if some
unforseen occurrence should prevent his attendance, he must at once
send her an explanatory regret to that effect.
Private Balls Given in Public.
Many hostesses, feeling the inadequacy of their parlors to accommodate
all the guests that they wish to invite at one time, without
disagreeable overcrowding, have adopted the custom of giving their
large entertainments at public assembly rooms. This custom, while it
frees the hostess from much care, must also be deplored as depriving
the gathering of that home atmosphere which is ever a safeguard.
The etiquette is the same as that of a private ball, and after calls
are demanded within the same length of time. The decorations and
arrangements resemble closely as possible those of a private house.
Public Balls.
Much of the etiquette given for Private Balls governs the conduct
of those attending public entertainments of the same nature.
Introductions, however, must be sought before any attentions are
offered a lady, and there is much more care exercised in granting them
than under a private roof. Gentlemen, too, use their own pleasure in
the choice of partners, not having the courtesy of their hostess to
regard in this respect.
[Illustration: THE MASQUERADE ASSEMBLY.]
Of course, Military, Charity and Civic Balls are under the charge of
trustees and committees, who not only take charge of the convenience of
the guests, but endeavor by all means within their power to regulate
the social standing of those obtaining _entrée_ to the assembly. In
many of the large cities a board of lady patronesses add prestige and a
certain home protection to the successful carrying out of a public ball
of the highest order. It seems to supply the protection of a hostess to
the _fête_.
A young girl, even if the omission be excused at a private ball, does
not attend a public affair of this nature without a chaperon. Late
hours are more especially objectionable at public balls than at a
private house. One, or half-past, should find the adieux made.
A young lady, in refusing to dance with a gentleman, is not obliged to
sit the dance out as she would be at the house of a mutual friend. She
may, however, if she wish, do it in deference to his feelings.