Balls, to distinguish them from other evening gatherings where dancing
is one of the features of the evening, may be designated as parties
given for the express purpose of dancing.
Balls should begin at about nine o’clock in the evening, and terminate
at two or three in the morning. A private ball may be a very elaborate
affair, from fifty to seventy-five guests being necessary to make the
occasion enjoyable. Where the size of the ball-room will permit, many
more are frequently bidden. Over-crowding should be guarded against,
as ruinous to the toilets of the ladies, and the pleasure of all
concerned. The invitations to very elaborate affairs are sometimes sent
out from three weeks to one month in advance.
It is always proper for an invited guest to solicit an invitation for
a young lady visitor, or some stranger of distinction, or for a young
gentleman known to be a dancing man, and it is always permissible for
the hostess, if she wish, to refuse such solicitations on the ground
that her list is full, and no one should feel offended at such refusal.
Should the request, however, be for the admission of an eligible,
dancing man, it is rarely refused.
Never more than three from one family (the mother or chaperon excepted)
should accept an invitation to a ball, or party, unless in the case
of a ball, where two brothers, if they dance, may be accompanied by
two sisters from the same family. Those who do not dance should refuse
invitations to balls (chaperons excepted). The most brilliant man who
does not dance is usually out of place in an entertainment given for
that sole purpose.
The ball-room should be large; the floor well waxed, or covered with
drugget, and an abundance of palms and potted plants set about to make
cosy nooks just lighted by a shaded lamp. Cut flowers may be massed
upon the mantels with gorgeous effect. If the stairway be of sufficient
breadth, it should be bravely furnished forth with plants in bloom.
If it should be a first-floor room and open into the cool dusk of a
faintly lighted conservatory, then it is everything to be desired for
the occasion. Good ventilation is an absolute necessity.
Invite at least one quarter more guests than can be comfortably
accommodated, since about that number will fail, from different causes,
to accept. If it is impossible to entertain with comfort all those
to whom one is socially indebted, then it is better to divide the
entertainment into two or three smaller gatherings, always leaving
space for as many mothers of daughters, or other appointed chaperons,
as may choose to attend and who should always be included in the
invitations.
Sitting accommodations should be furnished for them, as well as for
those who may not be dancing. All other furniture should be removed
from the rooms.
Full-dress toilets are demanded for the occasion; flowers, jewels,
“The gloss of satin and the glimmer of pearls,”
should mingle in this festivity, the gayest of our social gatherings.
The ball-room should be brilliantly, and at the same time, softly
illuminated, the lights coming chiefly from the sides.
General Arrangements.
In a large city it is necessary to provide an awning to extend from
the carriage to the front entrance, thus screening guests from the
crowd that usually gathers on such an occasion. A carpet should also
cover the steps and walk to protect the ladies’ gowns. A manservant
in evening dress and white lisle gloves should be at the curbstone to
assist ladies, who may have come unattended, in alighting, (providing
they have no footman). He also provides each party with the number of
their carriage, giving the same to the driver, in order that he may be
ready when called. This same attendant also calls for the carriages
upon the departure of the guests.
Another manservant, or a white-capped maid, waits at the door, which
is opened without the bell being touched. This functionary receives
the cards of the guests, and directs them to their respective
dressing-rooms. These should be large and convenient as possible.
Assistants should be provided with thread, needles and pins to rectify
any accidents that may occur to the ladies’ toilets, and to render
every possible aid to them in making ready for the drawing-rooms.
Duplicate tickets should also be in readiness; one to attach to each
wrap and one to hand its owner. These precautions lessen the confusion
and add to the comfort of all concerned.
Combs, brushes, and hairpins should be in abundance, while a powder-box
and puff is not amiss. Cologne, camphor and ammonia should also be in
the rooms for use in cases of sudden faintness. A couch in the room
is also useful, and low chairs or ottomans, in case any of the ladies
should wish to change their shoes.
The gentlemens’ dressing-room should also be presided over by an
attendant supplied with the same duplicate system of tickets and ready
to render any called-for assistance.
Programs with the order of the dances and blanks for recording
engagements for each, should be distributed to the guests as they enter
the ball-room. To each card should be attached a small pencil.
Concerning the Music.
Good music is a prime necessity. An orchestra, even if it must be a
small one, is needful for a ball. Four pieces are enough: violin,
piano, violincello, or harp, and cornet. If more are desired, leave the
choice to the leader, with whom the selections will have been carefully
talked over beforehand, and who must be furnished with a copy of the
dancing program.
The musicians should be concealed back of a group of flowering shrubs
at the end of the hallway, or some other convenient nook or corner.
If there should be a balcony, a shady bower can be constructed for
them there, and by taking out the window frame they will be heard to
perfection.
Never, even at a “small and early,” depend, for the pianist, upon
volunteer service from among the guests. In the first place, it is a
tiresome and unwillingly performed service, and in the second, there
are few amateurs who play dance-music with sufficient correctness to
render dancing after their music a pleasure.
Refreshments.
At a ball elaborate refreshments are to be expected, and are usually
served all the evening from a long table loaded with silver and glass
and softly but brilliantly illuminated. No one is expected to sit down
at such a supper, but the guests as they come in, a few at a time, are
served by waiters in attendance.
Both hot and cold dishes are to be had; and substantial food, as well
as all manner of sweets, should be furnished for an amusement that
begets a most unromantic hunger. Small game birds may be served cold;
the larger fowl hot. Boned turkey (cold) is especially liked. Game
_patés_, oysters, cooked or raw, all manner of truffled dishes, and a
variety of salads are served, while fruits, ices, confections, cakes,
and so on, _ad infinitum_, do fitly furnish forth the feast.
If the German is to finish the evening, a separate, hot supper should
be served at its close, and the all-night supper confined more
exclusively to cold dishes, with the exception of hot drinks.
In case of a very spacious mansion, the hostess may, if she prefer,
keep the supper-room closed until half-past twelve, or one, when she
will give the word. Her husband should lead the way to supper with some
lady to be especially honored. The hostess should not go out herself
until she sees that every lady has been properly escorted, save in
cases where she is to accompany some very distinguished gentleman who
is present. In this case she delegates her authority either to a grown
son, some other relative, or to some gentleman especially appointed,
who takes her place in seeing that there are no forgotten wall-flowers
left to blush unseen.
No gentleman should presume to offer the hostess his escort to the
supper-room, this being an honor she confers at pleasure.
A small tea-room on an upper floor is very desirable at a large
gathering. Here guests, ladies especially, can, unattended, seek
the refreshment of a cup of tea, coffee, cocoa, or bouillon before
descending to the drawing-rooms. Gentlemen, too, may escort their
wearied partners to this haven for a moment’s light refection and rest
after dancing. Iced lemonade should also be served here, and the room
never left without an attendant.
Many who do not care for a heavy supper, are wont to resort to this
room, where tiny sandwiches, maccaroons, etc., should also be in
readiness.
A smoking-room is frequently provided at large entertainments where
the gentlemen may retire. Cigars, effervescent waters, and lemonade
are furnished here, and sometimes stronger drinks. This last, however,
is a question which every hostess must settle according to her own
convictions. If wines are furnished, champagne and claret punch are
the usual choice, and a trusted attendant should be at hand to serve
them. Those who patronize this room will, if they wish to lay any
claim to the name of “gentlemen,” carefully refrain from the slightest
over-indulgence in these cooling, but deceptive drinks.
If there should be no smoking-room set aside, gentlemen must never
smoke in their dressing-room. To do so is especially thoughtless and
impolite.
Host and Hostess.
In giving a ball the hostess, upon whom the greatest strain will fall,
must be sure of her own physical and mental strength. To stand for two
consecutive hours in one spot and receive each comer with the same
sweet courtesy is a severe strain upon both.
Daughters, young lady relatives or ladies invited to receive, are
usually at hand to support her. The host, if there be one, does not
stand beside his wife to receive, but is usually not far away and
should assist in making the occasion an agreeable one.
Sons of the house do not seek their own pleasure at such a time, but
quietly endeavor, aided by the daughters or receiving ladies, to
provide dancing and supper partners for all present. Sometimes two or
three young men are appointed beforehand to attend to this duty.
The hostess, while richly dressed, should never show any desire by the
elaborateness of her costume to outshine her guests.
Should an obtuse cabman, misled by some similarity of name or error
in number (as may occur in large cities), permit a perplexed guest,
perhaps a stranger, to drift across the wrong threshold, let it be a
hospitable one. The hostess, though she may not be able to unravel the
mystery, should be gracious and attentive.
Arrival and Departure.
The first move after leaving the dressing-rooms is for ladies to join
their escorts and proceed to the drawing-rooms.
In going up or down stairs the gentleman always precedes the lady by
several steps, unless they walk side by side. This rule holds good on
every occasion. A lady, if she wishes the gentleman’s assistance should
take his right arm, thus leaving her right hand free to carry her
train. Her bouquet or fan may be carried in the hand upon his arm.
Gentlemen and ladies never enter the room arm in arm, no matter what
their relationship may be. A lady enters somewhat in advance of a
gentleman accompanying her, but at the side of a maiden whom she
chaperons. A mother precedes her daughter.
Do not offer to shake hands with the hostess as you bow, unless she
makes the initiatory move, since where the number invited is large the
process becomes somewhat wearisome. Many hostesses prefer to sweep a
graceful courtesy as they receive their guests.
Do not remain chatting with the receiving party. A bow, and a simple
exchange of kindly inquiries, is sufficient, when you should pass on
immediately to leave room for others. A gentleman’s next duty is to
search out his host and exchange the courtesies of the evening with
him. Any who may arrive late should at once search out both host and
hostess to offer a belated greeting.
A stranger who has received an invitation through friends, should be
introduced to both host and hostess and to any daughters of the house.
If a gentleman, he should be sure to invite the ladies to dance.