WEDDINGS AND WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES

In discussing the important subject of etiquette as connected with

weddings and wedding anniversaries, it may be mentioned here that the

forms for invitations to all occasions of this sort, and acceptances

and regrets of the same, card-sending, etc., have been fully treated in

their respective departments. The observances immediately preceding,

during, and following the ceremony, are now to receive consideration.

Paying for the Cards.

The form, size and use of these important bits of pasteboard having

been before stated, it only remains for us to say here that all the

expenses relative to their purchase and distribution are to be borne

solely by the parents or other guardians of the bride. To have it

otherwise implies a lack of delicacy on the part of the bride, and lays

upon her a certain amount of obligation which every right-minded girl

would desire, above all things, to avoid. Hence when the parents are

financially unable to incur the expense, good taste demands that all

display be abandoned and the couple be quietly married in the presence

of the family only.

The bride should always remember that until the fateful words are

spoken that make the twain one flesh, she has no claim whatever on the

purse of her future husband, and conduct herself accordingly.

Hence it is that a very plain _trousseau_ is more commendable to the

self-respect of the wearer, than the elaborate outfittings, toward

the purchase of which the groom-expectant has largely contributed, and

which, in case of the oft-recurring “slip twixt the cup and the lip,”

must weigh heavily upon the maiden’s pride.

Even the “after cards” are usually ordered by the parents with the

others, and paid for at the same time. If, however, they are ordered

after marriage, they are paid for by the groom.

There is only one exception to the rule of the bride’s parents paying

for the wedding cards, and this occurs when the wedding ceremony is

performed quietly in church and the reception, for some reason, is

held at the home of the groom’s parents, in which case they, as the

entertainers, properly pay for, and issue, the cards of invitation.

The groom, in England, always pays for the carriage that conveys

himself and bride to the station after the ceremony and reception are

past, but in this country the fashionable father usually claims the

privilege of sending them on this first stage of their married life

in his own carriage. However, the groom buys the ring and a bouquet

for the bride, furnishes dainty presents for the bridemaids, remembers

the best man and the ushers, pays the clergyman’s fee, the size of

which is to be regulated only by his inclination, or the length of his

purse-strings, and furnishes the marriage license.

Naming the Day.

This privilege belongs by right to the lady herself, but, in reality,

the business engagements of the groom, and the time when he can best

leave for the bridal tour have much to do in settling the exact date

for which the invitations shall be issued. In very fashionable circles

it is the mother that names the day of her daughter’s marriage.

Time was when during the two weeks, or longer, elapsing between the

issuing of the invitations and the occurrence of the wedding, the

bride-expectant was not to be seen in public, nor by chance callers

at the house, a custom which still prevails to some extent, but is

superseded in the most fashionable circles by a series of especial

entertainments given during this interval.

It frequently happens that one, or each, of the bridemaids entertains

the bride and other bridemaids at a lunch or dinner, either informally

or on a large scale. Some married friend of the family may give a large

farewell dinner to Miss —— and her bridemaids; and the bride herself,

or her mother, may give a rehearsal dinner. Ordinary invitations,

however, are not to be accepted.

If the presents are not to be exhibited at the wedding reception, the

bride frequently gives an informal tea the day before to her lady

friends for the purpose of displaying them. She should also, for her

health’s sake, take a daily drive.

Announcing the Engagement.

An engagement is now frequently announced in rather a formal manner.

This, however, is not usually done until a short time previous to

the marriage itself. Sometimes it comes out in the society papers

immediately after it has been made known to the kinfolk and intimate

friends. Felicitations follow as a matter of course.

Sometimes a dinner-party is given by the parents of the bride-elect and

the announcement is made by the host just before leaving the table.

Congratulations follow. Sometimes notes are written by the young lady

or her mother in announcement.

If the families of the contracting parties have been strangers

heretofore it is expected that the gentleman’s family will make the

first call. Any friends that choose may give entertainments in honor of

the couple.

The lady does not make any ceremonious calls after this announcement

has been made, it being supposed that before this occurs she shall have

left cards upon all her friends. If no formal announcement is made the

bride-to-be must, before invitations are issued, leave cards with her

friends and acquaintances. In the city she need not enter to make a

personal call, in the country she will probably find it necessary so to

do.

Wedding Gifts.

There is much to be said for and against the custom of wedding

presents. And while the fact remains that they too often become

the vehicle for an expenditure so uncalled-for as to encroach upon

vulgarity in its excess, another fact still exists, that the simple

remembrances of friends are very grateful to the bride, who, perhaps,

is bound for a distant home where every loving token will recall a

well-known face.

Then remember your friends on their wedding day, wisely, and according

to their tastes and your own resources, for:

“Policy counselleth a gift,

Given wisely and in season,

And policy afterward approveth it,

For great is the power of gifts.”

By those so desiring, the words, “No presents,” or “No presents

received,” may be engraved in the left hand corner of the card. This is

often a relief to many of the guests, and, at the same time does not

prevent the very intimate friends, as well as members of the family,

from sending quietly such gifts as they may choose, which, of course,

are not exhibited.

Where presents are to be given they are frequently sent some time in

advance, and the bride often takes much pleasure in arranging them for

exhibition in some upstairs room. Each article is accompanied by the

card of the giver; these are removed or not, as may be desired before

exhibition.

The bride acknowledges the reception of each gift by a graceful little

note of thanks. Some of them doubtless will come from persons unknown

to her, friends of the groom, and to these she must be especially

prompt in returning her acknowledgments.

List of Invitations.

Making up the list of invitations should be attended to carefully. The

engaged couple should carefully prepare their respective lists and the

mother of the bride should attentively scan names, for from this is to

be made up the future visiting list of her daughter, and she cannot but

hesitate at burdening her at the outset of her new life with a host

of calling acquaintances, hence is forced to exclude every ineligible

name; a cutting painful but oftimes necessary.

Ushers.

The duties of the ushers in a church wedding are very important. At

large weddings as many as half a dozen, or more, ushers are sometimes

needed to manage the great number of guests. They usually appoint one

of their number as head usher, and to him falls the duty of deciding

on the space to be reserved for near relatives, which is to be divided

from the remainder of the church by white ribbons. He makes sure that

the organist is in place, indicates the approach of the bridal party

that the Wedding March may greet them, and instructs the other ushers

as to their respective duties.

Ushers must escort guests to their seats, and as relatives of the groom

are seated on the right of the main aisle, or center of the church, and

those of the bride on the left, it is proper for an usher to ask any

one with whom he may be unacquainted whether their relationship is to

the bride or groom.

In escorting guests to their seats an usher gives his right arm to a

lady. A gentleman who may be in her company should follow after.

The guests assembled, part of the ushers should leave the church at

once and drive to the bride’s residence in order to be there to receive

the bridal party upon their return.

“The Best Man.”

The “best man” is usually an intimate friend or relative of the groom.

He drives to the church with him, stands by his side at the altar-rails

while he awaits the approach of the bride, and, stepping back, it is

he that holds the groom’s hat during the ceremony and hands it to him

at its close. To him is confided the payment of the wedding fee, and

if there is a marriage register he signs as a witness. He then drives

by himself to the bride’s home, reaching there in time to receive the

bridal party and to assist the ushers in the presentation of guests to

the newly-married couple. He also makes the necessary arrangements

about their departure, secures the tickets, and, if their destination

is to be kept a secret, to him alone is it confided.

It occasionally happens that there are as many groomsmen as there are

bridemaids, but this is the exception and the “best man” takes their

place.

The ushers frequently form, two and two, and precede the bridal party

up the aisle.

Bridemaids.

The number of these is optional, from one to twelve being allowable.

Four, six or eight are usually chosen. Unmarried sisters of the bride

and groom are frequently selected. Custom emphatically declares that

they must be younger than the bride. For an elder sister thus to

officiate would be extremely inappropriate.

Indeed, the favored fashion of the present time is for little tots, all

the way from three or four to eight, clad in bewitchingly quaint and

picturesque costumes and crowned by the largest of Gainsboro’ hats, to

precede the bridal couple to the chancel. In addition to these, the

bride is followed by a chosen number of bridemaids as well, but often

the children are all. Frequently they carry baskets of flowers, and,

preceding the newly-made wife in her progress down the church aisle,

they scatter the blossoms in her pathway.

Sometimes this order is changed, and children rise in groups from

seats near the front, and, preceding the bridal _cortège_ to the door,

scatter flowers before them. Children selected for this purpose should

be under ten. Young boys, selected from among relatives, are sometimes

dressed as pages and accompany the bride as train-bearers.

Bridemaids usually consult the bride as to their toilets, and each

other as well, that there may be no unfortunate combinations of color

to mar the effect of the whole. They usually dress in colors, unless

the bride choose some faint tint for her costume; then it is customary

for them to wear pure white, and sometimes the whole group are clad in

spotless purity.

[Illustration: AN UNSEASONABLE CALL.]

[Illustration: A MOORISH BEAUTY]

The bridemaids’ gowns are walking length, as a rule, and they wear

large, picturesque hats, overshadowed with plumes or adorned with

flowers, and carry huge bunches, or baskets, of fragrant blossoms.

Wealthy brides, who have some special fancy to carry out, often provide

the gowns for their maids. Historic styles are frequently chosen,

making every gown after the exact mode of the epoch selected, but

adopting a different color for each.

Where there is but one bridemaid, if she be escorted at all, which is

not always done, it should be by some friend, not the “best man,” whose

duties in attendance on the groom are all-sufficient.

Bridemaids should not refuse the proffered honor, if possible for them

to accept. If, after acceptance, unforseen circumstances should occur

to prevent participation in the festivities, no time should be lost

in sending a regret and full explanation, so that her place may be

supplied in time to prevent disarrangement of the entire plan.

A Church Wedding.

A church wedding is more picturesque and solemn than any other form

of celebrating the marriage rite and the etiquette of all full-dress

affairs of this nature is essentially the same.

The groom drives first to the church, accompanied by his “best man” and

enters either vestry or church parlor. The relatives, the mother of the

bride and the bridemaids now drive to the church in carriages, closely

followed by the carriage of the bride and her father.

By this time it is supposed that the carpet and awning, if it is a

city church, are in place, the invited guests assembled, and the

bridal procession immediately forms, entering the church and passing

up the aisle to the strains of the wedding march. In England a lovely

innovation is made on this threadbare custom by having a chorus of

boy-voices sing an epithalamium, or wedding ode, during their progress.

This custom has found its way here in some ritualistic churches

where the vested choir march, two and two, at the head of the bridal

procession, singing as they march. Sometimes as high as forty, and even

seventy, in number swell the _cortège_.

The order of progression is as follows: first the ushers, (unless there

are choristers to take the lead) who march up the aisle by twos,

keeping step with the music, then, if there are child-bridemaids, they

follow in the same order. Some brides have two, some four or six of

these dainty dots of maids. The children are followed by the grown

bridemaids, also two by two. Sometimes children alone fill the place,

there being no grown maids. The maids, both children and grown folk,

are arranged according to their height and the harmony of color in

their gowns.

[Illustration: THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY.]

After them comes the bride leaning on the right arm of her father. It

sometimes happens that she walks up the aisle alone, and again that she

is accompanied by some male relative who is to take a father’s place

in giving her away. Occasionally young brothers, mere boys in age, are

permitted to assume this touching duty.

At the altar steps the ushers separate and pass to the right and left,

the bridemaids also separate in a similar manner, leaving space for the

bridal couple. The groom, having come from the vestry, accompanied by

the “best man,” should be standing in readiness to advance, take the

bride by her right hand and turn to the clergyman, who proceeds with

the marriage formula sanctioned by his faith.

At that point in the service where the question is asked, “Who giveth

this woman to be married to this man?” the father, or whoever takes

his place, should bow, and then in a moment leave the group and seat

himself beside the bride’s mother in the front pew at the left.

In a ritualistic church the bride and groom at once kneel before the

officiating clergyman, who will signify to them at what point of the

service to rise. Hassocks should be provided for the occasion.

The first bridemaid, or maid of honor, takes her stand close to,

and slightly back of, the bride, that she may be ready to take her

bouquet, if she has one, remove her glove, or, as is the better custom

in this day of many-buttoned gloves, to turn back the neatly-ripped

glove-finger that the ring may be adjusted, and to hold her bouquet or

prayer-book when necessary. In the meantime, it is the “best man” who

hands the ring to the clergyman in readiness for use.

After the Ceremony.

The service over, which may or may not have been accompanied by low,

slow music, the clergyman shakes hands with and congratulates the

newly-wedded couple (kissing being no longer permissible), the groom

draws the bride’s right hand within his left arm and conducts her

to the carriage, taking the center aisle if the church have one; if

not, taking the opposite from that by which they entered, the bride,

her veil over her face, neither recognizing nor paying the slightest

apparent heed to any one in the church. The organ peals forth, the

procession re-forms and follows to the door, first the bridemaids, next

the ushers. If there have been choristers, they lead the line, chanting

as before, until their voices die out of hearing in the vestibule.

Often, too, the child-bridemaids precede the couple as they leave the

church, scattering flowers before them, the whole forming a very pretty

pageant to the eye. The church may have been richly decorated with

flowers and potted plants.

Where there is but one bridemaid or maid of honor, as she is then

called, she attends to all the duties necessary, but the bridal

procession is shorn somewhat of its fair proportions.

The vestibule reached, certificate or church register signed, the bride

is cloaked, and, entering a carriage with her husband, is quickly

driven home, the guests remaining in their seats until the cessation of

the wedding march, when they, too, enter their carriages. Meanwhile the

“best man” takes the shortest route possible to the same destination

in order to assist the head usher, who with, perhaps, some of the

other ushers, is supposed to be already there, in receiving the bridal

party and guests as they reach the house. The remaining ushers busy

themselves in assisting the bridemaids to their carriages and speeding

them onward that they, if possible, may reach the house in time to

receive the bride and groom.

If the church wedding be in the evening the same order will be

observed, save that the gentlemen wear evening dress.

The Reception.

At the house the ushers introduce the guests to the newly-married

couple who, together with the bridemaids, form a group to receive the

good wishes of the company. The parents of the bride stand a little

apart from this party and receive the felicitations of their guests

in behalf of their daughter’s welfare. The parents of the groom, if

present, form part of this group.

If the company is very large it is well to divide the centers of

attractions by placing the young couple in one room and the parents in

another, thus compelling a freer circulation of the guests, who else

would crowd the bridal party to suffocation.

The house may be profusely decorated with flowers, and the rooms though

daylight reign without, may have been carefully darkened only to be

re-illuminated by the softer radiance of waxen candles or shaded gas

jets.

Refreshments.

The banquet may be as elaborate as desired, but is usually served in

the refreshment room from the _buffét_, guests repairing thither at any

time where they are served by attendants, ushers seeing that ladies

unattended by gentlemen are invited to partake and properly served.

Tea or coffee is not considered a necessity, though, in compliance with

tastes that do not yield easily to fashion’s decree, it is usually to

be had, but in winter bouillon, in cups, is usually offered. Wine,

of course, depends upon the scruples of the entertainers. Salads,

lobster, salmon, etc., birds and dainty rolled sandwiches, do duty

for meats. Fancy cakes, such as macaroons, kisses, etc., are always

offered, together with ices. The variety of other cakes is always at

the option of the hostess, save the regulation rich black fruit, or

groom’s cake, and the bride’s snowy loaf. These are necessities, and if

the bride so far conform to the old custom of “cutting the cake” as to

make one incision therein with a wonderful silver knife, “ye ancient

superstition” is satisfied, and the work of cutting it and packing

in dainty boxes to be carried home, if this be wished, is deputed to

attendants. These boxes are deposited in some convenient place within

reach of the departing guests.

When there are a number of elderly guests it is generally thought

best to set two or more small tables in the refreshment-room, or an

ante-room, where they may be comfortably accommodated with seats, and

one of the ushers should see that they are so seated and promptly

served.

Rehearsals.

In view of the complicated arrangements made necessary for the proper

carrying out of a fashionable church wedding, and in consideration of

the large number of people involved in the ceremony and the necessity

of each one being in the right place at the right moment, in order to

prevent confusion, it will be seen that some preparation is necessary

before all can act in concert.

The needed drill is usually given by an exact rehearsal of the entire

affair, to give which, the whole party meet at the church and rehearse,

so to speak, their respective parts; the forming into procession, the

parting right and left at the chancel and the re-forming to return to

the vestibule, being all gone through with to the sound of music, until

every part of the long procession moves like clockwork.

The grouping of the bridemaids, the appointed duties of maid of honor

and “best man,” even to the smallest details, are all made perfect,

until even the principal actors in the scene can retire without fear of

any disaster to come.

This rehearsal is frequently made the occasion of a rehearsal dinner,

given by the mother of the bride, at which the intimate participants of

the wedding-to-come entertain and refresh themselves.

The Wedding Breakfast.

Wedding breakfasts are an exclusively English fashion, but are

gradually creeping into favor here. The breakfast does not differ from

the ordinary reception, save that it is usually at an earlier hour and

is more frequently a “sit-down affair.”

The guests all go into the refreshment room at the same time, even

though it sometimes happens that the assembly is so large that no

one but the bridal party and immediate relatives are provided with

seats at small tables. In this case, the gentlemen help the ladies

and themselves from a long table in the center of the room, the whole

affair, under these circumstances, being simply a cold collation.

Gentlemen leave their hats in the hall; ladies retain bonnet and gloves.

After the usual greetings to the bridal pair and a few minutes general

conversation, the repast is announced and the guests proceed to the

appointed room in the usual fashion—bride and groom, bride’s father and

groom’s mother, groom’s father and bride’s mother, “best man” and maid

of honor, other bridemaids and gentlemen appointed, usually ushers, etc.

A “stand-up” breakfast has many things in its favor. It is more easily

served than one where all the guests are seated at a table that, in

everything but name, is a dinner table; it is less formal and therefore

pleasanter, and far more guests can be accommodated. The refreshments

are the same as for a reception.

Departure.

After mingling with the guests for a short time the bride quietly

withdraws to don her traveling garb, and soon descends the stairway.

She is met at the foot by her bridemaids, who part and form in line on

either hand, through which dainty pathway she passes to join the groom.

Quick good-byes are said, the carriage is entered and whirls rapidly

away, followed by showers of rice and cast-off slippers, and the pretty

scene is ended.

Home Weddings.

Home weddings are attended with much less trouble, fatigue and expense

than fashionable church weddings. The clergyman enters the room and

stands facing the people; the bridal couple follow and stand facing

him. Hassocks are provided for kneeling, if desired. The father, or

some near male relative, stands ready, in sight of the clergyman, to

give away the bride. He should simply bow his affirmation when the

question is asked.

There are many additions that may be made to this simple ceremony,

such as a troop of pretty children holding white ribbons each side to

mark the path the bridal pair must walk to reach the minister, while

the sweet strains of a hidden band of musicians may accompany their

footsteps.

Floral decorations, within limits, are beautiful and appropriate, but

where they are so lavishly displayed as to remind more of the florist’s

bill than the beauty of the blossoms, their effect is lost in a certain

vulgarity that attends all too-visible evidences of outlay.

One pretty idea is to carry out the fancy of having one kind of flower,

massed according to the chosen design, serve for the decorations, at

flower weddings; for example, rose weddings, lily weddings, daffodil

weddings, etc. The design itself is according to the taste of the

florist or the family, and is a subject changing so easily with the

season or the fashion as to merit no mention here.

The supper may be as elegant an affair as one chooses to make it. If

served by caterers, all care is removed from the hostess as to possible

accidents, and she is left free to entertain her guests.

At evening weddings the company remains late or not, according to the

hour of the bride’s departure. Sometimes dancing is arranged as one of

the evening’s amusements. If so, the bride may, if she choose, open the

first quadrille with the “best man.” Should she do this, the groom is

expected to dance with the first bridemaid.

The bride can slip away at any time, to reappear in traveling costume,

and bidding a quick farewell, disappear from the company, who, after

this, begin to disperse.

One most pleasant custom, English in its origin, should not be

forgotten; it is that of remembering all the servants with some little

gift as a souvenir of the occasion.

Invitations to Church Weddings.

There is a good deal of dispute in regard to the etiquette of

acknowledgment of a card for a church wedding. Some high authorities

assert that the invitation is so general and means so little particular

attention that no notice need be taken of it except in the regular line

of future visits to the bride and to the bride’s mother. But one of our

American social oracles declares that a card is obligatory at the hour

of the wedding, if one cannot attend, and that if the house address is

unknown, this card should be sent to the church. If this is necessary,

most people err woefully, for few non-attendants send the card.

For church weddings everything pertains to formality, and the

invitation as well as the ceremony is impressive in all details. The

names of the parents heading the invitation are now more often written

in full, thus insuring a good-looking line at the top of the note. The

line, “request the honor of your presence,” almost invariably appears

on a church invitation with “honor” spelled with a “u.”

The names of bride and groom are separated by the little word “to,”

although some consider “and” quite as proper.

The omission of the prefix “Miss” from the daughter’s name is customary

on an invitation but should never occur when the bride is a sister,

cousin or niece of the people issuing the invitations. If a widow is

re-marrying, she uses the prefix “Mrs.” with her Christian names and

the surname of her deceased husband. If the bride is an orphan, with no

one to issue the invitations for her, the heading reads, “The honor of

your presence is requested,” etc. When the bride has more names than

one it is customary to use all.

[Illustration: THE PRINCESS OF WALES.]

[Illustration: A SOCIETY BELLE—“CALL AGAIN.”]

The address of a well-known church is generally omitted, although it

is frequently a convenience for out-of-town friends to know it. Names

of churches ending with “s,” as Saint Thomas, are written with an

apostrophe “s”—thus, Saint Thomas’s.

Dress for the Occasion.

The Bride’s Dress may be as elegant as desired, or as simple, but it

is to be hoped that the custom of using pure white in the composition

of the toilet will not be superseded by any passing freak of Dame

Fashion’s for softly tinted bridal robes. This innovation should be

stoutly resisted by all brides-to-be. If the white robe is simple

in material, a simple style should be chosen for the making; richer

goods allow of more elaboration. The bride wears no jewels, and the

typical orange-blossoms and myrtle are supposed to crown her brow.

As a fact, however, other white flowers, such as roses, lilacs,

lilies-of-the-valley, are more frequently chosen.

Where the wedding decorations are of one flower exclusively, that

blossom alone figures in the bridal wreath and bouquet. Some High

Church brides carry an ivory or silver-bound prayer-book in preference

to flowers; thus associating it with the most sacred vows of their life

and hoping to preserve it as an heirloom in the family.

White shoes and gloves are to be worn with this toilet. The best taste

prescribes a high corsage for the bridal costume, and sleeves either to

the elbow or longer, in either case to be met by the long kid gloves.

This gives a certain modesty to the toilet that is in keeping with the

occasion. By many brides who expect to wear their bridal costume to

after evening entertainments, the wedding gown is frequently supplied

with two corsages; the high for the wedding day and the low for evening

wear.

The Veil is usually of thin, sheer tulle, as this is most becoming to

the face, but those brides who can display fine old point on this

occasion will be very apt so to do. If the bridal costume is to be worn

on any other occasion, it must be divested of orange-blossoms and worn

without the veil.

The above-described costume is appropriate for either a morning or

evening wedding. Brides, who are married in traveling costume, should

wear a bonnet rather than a hat.

The Groom’s Dress is decided by the hour at which the wedding takes

place. If it is in the evening, the conventional evening dress is

imperative. Black suit, dress coat, low-cut waistcoat, white tie, white

or pale pearl-colored gloves, thin patent leather shoes and possibly a

white flower in the button-hole, constitute proper costume.

Morning Costume.

At a morning wedding, that is, one taking place at any hour between

ten and seven (before which time a dress suit can by no possibility

appear) full morning costume is worn by the groom. This consists of a

dark frock coat, dark waistcoat and lighter trousers; a stiff hat, a

light scarf and gloves if desired. The gloves should be light but not

evening tints; pale tan or gray being suitable. The Groomsmen’s Dress

is decided by the hour and by the dress of the groom, of which it is a

faithful copy.

The Usher’s Dress follows the same law as that of the groomsmen, save

that if wedding favors are worn it is by the ushers only. The other

gentlemen present will find it well to copy the same styles, save that

those only who are immediately connected with the ceremony are expected

to wear white gloves.

The Bridemaid’s Dress has been already described.

Friends in Mourning are expected to lay aside their somber robings for

this hour. Even the widowed mother is bound to don either a pale gray,

or a deep purple, costume for the occasion, the presence of black at so

joyous a moment always casting a certain shadow over the party.

The Traveling Dress. This is occasionally worn by brides who do not

wish to incur the haste and annoyance of changing their costume

before leaving for the bridal tour. This is done at times even when

the ceremony is performed in church, but is almost always resorted to

where the wedding is quiet. Sometimes this dress is as elaborate as

is at all consistent with good taste for traveling, and when this is

the case it is usually exchanged for the regulation traveling gown at

the first stopping place in their journey. More frequently, and more

appropriately, the plain tailor-made suit, with gloves and hat in

harmony, is made to do duty. In any case where the bride chooses to

wear a traveling costume, even should the ceremony be performed in the

evening, the groom will wear a morning costume.

A Quiet Wedding.

To many people the idea of so much splendor and ceremony on the

occasion of their marriage has in it something distasteful, and

to others the physical weariness thereby incurred is almost an

impossibility. In this case the quietest of ceremonies may be chosen.

It may take place in church if the bride desire this further seal of

solemnity set upon the service, with parents and one or two friends for

witnesses; or at home with the family and clergyman only present, the

bridal couple being driven from thence directly to the depot if the

stereotyped wedding tour is to follow.

Re-marriage.

A widow, re-marrying, no matter how youthful she may be, is prohibited

from wearing the white gown, veil and orange-blossoms of the bride.

Neither may she surround herself with a bevy of bridemaids. Her

wedding, to be absolutely correct, should be quietly solemnized and her

garb a traveling dress.

Still, if she should wish, she may wear the most elegant of tinted

silks, the most elaborate in make-up, and have a large and elegant

assembly to witness her marriage and participate in its festivities,

but no bridemaids are allowable.

At a church wedding she should be attended by her father, brother,

other male relative, or some friend. She should always remove the first

wedding ring from her finger before the service and not again assume

it. Invitations to the marriage of a widow are engraved with her whole

name, maiden and married, thus: ELIZABETH STUART FIELDING.

If she have sons or unmarried daughters at the time of her second

marriage she should prefix their last name to her new one on all

ceremonious occasions in which they also are interested, thus: MRS.

STUART FIELDING GRANT and MISS FIELDING, At Home. 20 Grosvenor Square.

The Ring.

The fourth finger of the left hand, counting from the thumb, is the

finger upon which the engagement and wedding rings are worn. The

engagement ring varies in extravagance according to the means of the

groom, and has almost always a set of some description; the wedding

ring is always the same, a plain, round-edged band of gold. Initials

and dates may be engraved in both.

The engagement ring is usually worn afterward as a guard for the

wedding ring. As to its setting there is a wide latitude given wherein

all the pretty conceits and superstitions attached to precious stones

may be exercised at will. The German consider pearls unlucky for

brides, as significant of tears. Birth-month stones may be used, even

the fateful opal losing its power for harm when worn by an October

maiden. The turquoise is perhaps the favored of precious stones for

this purpose. The old Persian proverb says that “He that hath a

turquoise hath a friend.” Its known power of turning pale under certain

climatic influences has invested it in story with the power of not

only warding off evil influences, rendering its wearer constant and

assuring success in love, but still more of revealing by a certain

pallor of coloring, coming danger or the existence of inconstancy in

its wearer. It is also said that in case of a fall the turquoise takes

all injury upon itself; the stone being fractured and the owner being

uninjured. Add to this the item that the stone must be a gift, not a

purchase, to possess these marvelous powers, and it will be seen that

it is admirably suited to adorn an engagement ring. The diamond is

another very appropriate stone for this purpose, either _solitaire_ or

in cluster.

[Illustration: A TOKEN OF FRIENDSHIP.]

Reception Days.

It is necessary for the bride to include her new address with her

wedding invitations, unless, as is still more “chic,” cards for several

reception days are issued after her return. These dates being fixed, it

is then that first calls may be made upon her at her new residence with

the happy certainty of finding her at home.

At these quiet, informal receptions, she receives simply as a member of

society, wearing usually a rich, dark silk without any reminders of her

recent bridehood.