You did?
Yes. I went to a colored funeral.
* * * * *
“What did de lady do when yer asked her for an old collar?”
“She gave me a turndown.”
* * * * *
The owner says if we don’t pay our rent he will make it hot for us.
Tell him to go ahead. That’s more than the janitor has ever done.
* * * * *
I went out to feed the horse this morning, and he had his bridle on and
couldn’t eat a bit.
* * * * *
“I never play whist except for fun.” “Neither do I; only somebody else
generally has the fun.”
* * * * *
“Billy, does your mother give you anything if you take your medicine
without crying?” “No; but she gives me something if I don’t.”
* * * * *
“What if I were one of those husbands, my dear, who get up cross in the
morning and bang things about because the coffee is cold?” _Wife_: “I
would make it hot for you.”
* * * * *
“So you asked old Crusty for his daughter, eh? How did you come out?”
“Through the window!”
* * * * *
“I wish you’d pay a little attention to what I say.” “I am, my dear--as
little as possible.”
* * * * *
_Emmy_--“I’ve got an invite to the Charity Ball, but not the least idea
what I am to go in. What would you wear if you had my complexion?”
_Fanny_--“A thick veil.”
* * * * *