Vaudeville Jokes No. 1.
The coalman’s season may be the winter, and the summer the iceman’s
harvest, so that it’s possible the milkman finds his greatest profit in
the spring.
* * * * *
What is the difference between a grocer who uses false weights and a
highwayman?
The tradesman lies in weight, while the highwayman lies in wait.
* * * * *
I saw Romeo and Juliet in a restaurant last night. Juliet ordered some
soft-shelled crabs and Romeo ordered a cup of tea. Now, the question
arises, does Rome-o for what Juli-et?
* * * * *
You know my girl? Her name is Plaster. I go to court Plaster every
night. She is a poor girl, but there are lots of other girls as por-ous
Plaster. I took her out riding the other day, when the horse ran away
and threw her out and broke her leg in four places, and her arm in
three places. I got some sticking plaster and put on her leg and arm,
and then carried her home. Next morning she wouldn’t speak to me.
Why not?
She was too stuck up.
* * * * *
How old did you say your daughter was?
Twenty-two.
Gracious, but she’s young for her age.
* * * * *
George Washington was the bravest man in the world. He was never licked
in his life.
Oh, yes he was; he was licked on a postage stamp.
Then they had to do it behind his back.
* * * * *
It has been asked when rain falls, does it ever get up again?
Of course it does, in dew time.
* * * * *
I dared to go up on Broadway to-day and a team ran over me. Just as I
was getting up, the driver shouted: “Look out!”
And what did you say?