_First Voice._ I hear that you wish to give your evidence before this
Commission?
_Second Voice._ Certainly, that is my desire. I am here to speak in the
name of my fellow-labourers, and----
_First V._ Yes, thank you, that will do. You are in favour of Trade Unions?
_Second V._ I am. I feel that when rich and poor meet in mighty conflict,
there is only--
_First V._ Yes, thank you, that will do. And you believe that strikes are
beneficial?
_Second V._ I do consider them beneficial, most beneficial. I feel that
labour must have its rights, and that the white dove of liberty has only
to--
_First V._ Yes, thank you, that will do. And you are in favour of
arbitration?
_Second V._ No, I am not. For when DIVES meets the beggars, then the cry of
labour rises on the stilly night, and--
_First V._ Yes, thank you, that will do. And may I ask to what trade you
belong?
_Second V._ I belong to none. Every thinking and right-minded man should
care for his fellows as himself. Like an eagle on a snow-capped mountain,
he should--
_First V._ Yes, thank you, that will do. Then may we ask, if you belong to
no trade, what is your occupation?
_Second V._ My occupation is to talk to--
_First V._ Yes, thank you, that will do!
* * * * *
[Illustration: Paddy Rewski, the Pianist, makes his bow, and escapes to
America from an enthusiastic audience, who might have torn him into musical
pieces at St. James's Hall.]
* * * * *
NOTICE TO PROBABLE IRISH OBJECTORS ON BOTH SIDES.--The Novel that _Mr.
Punch_ so recently praised, entitled _Tim_, is neither Irish nor political.
Both sides can buy and enjoy it. A Parnellite author is thinking of
adapting DICKENS, and bringing out a new version of an old_ Christmas book,
to be entitled _Tiny Tim._
* * * * *
OLD TIMES REVIVED.--The New Lord Mayor. Gracious EVANS!! "And," asks a
middle-aged Correspondent, "during this Mayoralty will the Munching House
be known as EVANS'S?"
* * * * *
--> NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed
Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be
returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope,
Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.