(_At the service of the Ch-nc-ll-r of the Exch-qu-r, if he purposes
writing a Prophetic Romance._)
MACAULAY'S New Zealander had arrived prematurely. London Bridge was
not reduced to its centre pier, and St. Paul's Cathedral was certainly
not in ruins. Still there was an uncanny look about town. On the
Embankment electric tram-cars were running, but they seemed to be
little patronised. Here and there he noticed a pedestrian leisurely
going his way, but the side-walks appeared, to all intents and
purposes, abandoned. At length he reached a garden-seat, upon which
was sprawling a Typical Working Man. The New Zealander gave this
interesting individual "Good morning," and made some common-place
remark about the weather.
"Fine day!" returned the T.W.M., rather surlily. "Well, what does it
matter to me? If it rains, I stay at home; if it don't, why I don't
either."
"I am a stranger seeking for information," explained the New
Zealander; "so I am sure you will excuse me if I ask you how much do
you pay for your house?"
"Pay for my house!" ejaculated the T.W.M. "Why, nothing of course! And
I pay nothing too for my sons at Oxford, and the girls at Cambridge.
And I get my clothes free, and my food comes in gratuitously. Why, you
must be a stranger if you don't know that! Why everything and anything
is paid by the Government--out of the Income Tax."
"And don't you ever work?"
"Work! bless you, no. I can't afford to work! If I did, I should have
to pay the Income Tax myself!" returned the T.W.M., with a grin.
"Then who does contribute to this evidently highly-important source of
revenue?
"Why, the professional men, under Schedule D!" cried the hardy son of
toil. "The authors with families, and the City clerks. All _that_ set,
you know. They pay the Income Tax, sure enough. It's as much as they
can do to keep bodies and souls together. But _somebody_ must pay--why
not they?--pay for themselves--and for me!"
* * * * *
THE DUMB SHOW.--It sounds odd that the serious pantomime, _L'Enfant
Prodigue_, the play without words, should be "the talk of London."
* * * * *