the Virgin, and the saints about her, to permit that the enemy of our
faith should lead thee captive into Barbary.
_Filippo._ The pleasure was all on their side.
_Eugenius._ I have heard a great many stories both of males and
females who were taken by Tunisians and Algerines: and although there
is a sameness in certain parts of them, my especial benevolence toward
thee, worthy Filippo, would induce me to lend a vacant ear to thy
report. And now, good Filippo, I could sip a small glass of Muscatel
or Orvieto, and turn over a few bleached almonds, or essay a smart
dried apricot at intervals, and listen while thou relatest to me the
manners and customs of that country, and particularly as touching thy
own adversities. First, how wast thou taken?
_Filippo._ I was visiting at Pesaro my worshipful friend the canonico
Andrea Paccone, who delighted in the guitar, played it skilfully, and
was always fond of hearing it well accompanied by the voice. My own
instrument I had brought with me, together with many gay Florentine
songs, some of which were of such a turn and tendency, that the
canonico thought they would sound better on water, and rather far from
shore, than within the walls of the canonicate. He proposed then, one
evening when there was little wind stirring, to exercise three young
abbates[9] on their several parts, a little way out of hearing from
the water's edge.
_Eugenius._ I disapprove of exercising young abbates in that manner.
_Filippo._ Inadvertently, O Holy Father! I have made the affair seem
worse than it really was. In fact, there were only two genuine
abbates; the third was Donna Lisetta, the good canonico's pretty
niece, who looks so archly at your Holiness when you bend your knees
before her at bedtime.
_Eugenius._ How? Where?
_Filippo._ She is the angel on the right-hand side of the Holy Family,
with a tip of amethyst-coloured wing over a basket of figs and
pomegranates. I painted her from memory: she was then only fifteen,
and worthy to be the niece of an archbishop. Alas! she never will be:
she plays and sings among the infidels, and perhaps would eat a
landrail on a Friday as unreluctantly as she would a roach.
_Eugenius._ Poor soul! So this is the angel with the amethyst-coloured
wing? I thought she looked wanton: we must pray for her release ...
from the bondage of sin. What followed in your excursion?
_Filippo._ Singing, playing, fresh air, and plashing water, stimulated
our appetites. We had brought no eatable with us but fruit and thin
_marzopane_, of which the sugar and rose-water were inadequate to ward
off hunger; and the sight of a fishing-vessel between us and Ancona,
raised our host immoderately. 'Yonder smack,' said he, 'is sailing at
this moment just over the best sole-bank in the Adriatic. If she
continues her course and we run toward her, we may be supplied, I
trust in God, with the finest fish in Christendom. Methinks I see
already the bellies of those magnificent sole bestar the deck, and
emulate the glories of the orient sky.' He gave his orders with such a
majestic air, that he looked rather like an admiral than a priest.
_Eugenius._ How now, rogue! Why should not the churchman look
majestically and courageously? I myself have found occasion for it,
and exerted it.
_Filippo._ The world knows the prowess of your Holiness.
_Eugenius._ Not mine, not mine, Filippo! but His who gave me the sword
and the keys, and the will and the discretion to use them. I trust the
canonico did not misapply his station and power, by taking the fish at
any unreasonably low price; and that he gave his blessing to the
remainder, and to the poor fishermen and to their nets.
_Filippo._ He was angry at observing that the vessel, while he thought
it was within hail, stood out again to sea.
_Eugenius._ He ought to have borne more manfully so slight a vexation.
_Filippo._ On the contrary, he swore bitterly he would have the
master's ear between his thumb and forefinger in another half-hour,
and regretted that he had cut his nails in the morning lest they
should grate on his guitar. 'They may fish well,' cried he, 'but they
can neither sail nor row; and, when I am in the middle of that tub of
theirs, I will teach them more than they look for.' Sure enough he was
in the middle of it at the time he fixed: but it was by aid of a rope
about his arms and the end of another laid lustily on his back and
shoulders. 'Mount, lazy long-chined turnspit, as thou valuest thy
life,' cried Abdul the corsair, 'and away for Tunis.' If silence is
consent, he had it. The captain, in the Sicilian dialect, told us we
might talk freely, for he had taken his siesta. 'Whose guitars are
those?' said he. As the canonico raised his eyes to heaven and
answered nothing, I replied, 'Sir, one is mine: the other is my worthy
friend's there.' Next he asked the canonico to what market he was
taking those young slaves, pointing to the abbates. The canonico
sobbed and could not utter one word. I related the whole story; at
which he laughed. He then took up the music, and commanded my reverend
guest to sing an air peculiarly tender, invoking the compassion of a
nymph, and calling her cold as ice. Never did so many or such profound
sighs accompany it. When it ended, he sang one himself in his own
language, on a lady whose eyes were exactly like the scimitars of
Damascus, and whose eyebrows met in the middle like the cudgels of
prize-fighters. On the whole she resembled both sun and moon, with the
simple difference that she never allowed herself to be seen, lest all
the nations of the earth should go to war for her, and not a man to be
left to breathe out his soul before her. This poem had obtained the
prize at the University of Fez, had been translated into the Arabic,
the Persian, and the Turkish languages, and was the favourite lay of
the corsair. He invited me lastly to try my talent. I played the same
air on the guitar, and apologized for omitting the words, from my
utter ignorance of the Moorish. Abdul was much pleased, and took the
trouble to convince me that the poetry they conveyed, which he
translated literally, was incomparably better than ours. 'Cold as
ice!' he repeated, scoffing: 'anybody might say that who had seen
Atlas: but a genuine poet would rather say, "Cold as a lizard or a
lobster."' There is no controverting a critic who has twenty stout
rowers, and twenty well-knotted rope-ends. Added to which, he seemed
to know as much of the matter as the generality of those who talked
about it. He was gratified by my attention and edification, and thus
continued: 'I have remarked in the songs I have heard, that these wild
woodland creatures of the west, these nymphs, are a strange
fantastical race. But are your poets not ashamed to complain of their
inconstancy? whose fault is that? If ever it should be my fortune to
take one, I would try whether I could not bring her down to the level
of her sex; and if her inconstancy caused any complaints, by Allah!
they should be louder and shriller than ever rose from the throat of
Abdul.' I still thought it better to be a disciple than a commentator.
_Eugenius._ If we could convert this barbarian and detain him awhile
at Rome, he would learn that women and nymphs (and inconstancy also)
are one and the same. These cruel men have no lenity, no suavity. They
who do not as they would be done by, are done by very much as they do.
Women will glide away from them like water; they can better bear two
masters than half one; and a new metal must be discovered before any
bars are strong enough to confine them. But proceed with your
narrative.
_Filippo._ Night had now closed upon us. Abdul placed the younger of
the company apart, and after giving them some boiled rice, sent them
down into his own cabin. The sailors, observing the consideration and
distinction with which their master had treated me, were civil and
obliging. Permission was granted me, at my request, to sleep on deck.
_Eugenius._ What became of your canonico?
_Filippo._ The crew called him a conger, a priest, and a porpoise.
_Eugenius._ Foul-mouthed knaves! could not one of these terms content
them? On thy leaving Barbary was he left behind?
_Filippo._ Your Holiness consecrated him, the other day, Bishop of
Macerata.
_Eugenius._ True, true; I remember the name, Saccone. How did he
contrive to get off?
_Filippo._ He was worth little at any work; and such men are the
quickest both to get off and to get on. Abdul told me he had received
three thousand crowns for his ransom.
_Eugenius._ He was worth more to him than to me. I received but two
first-fruits, and such other things as of right belong to me by
inheritance. The bishopric is passably rich: he may serve thee.
_Filippo._ While he was a canonico he was a jolly fellow; not very
generous; for jolly fellows are seldom that; but he would give a
friend a dinner, a flask of wine or two in preference, and a piece of
advice as readily as either. I waited on monsignor at Macerata, soon
after his elevation.
_Eugenius._ He must have been heartily glad to embrace his companion
in captivity, and the more especially as he himself was the cause of
so grievous a misfortune.
_Filippo._ He sent me word he was so unwell he could not see me.
'What!' said I to his valet, 'is monsignor's complaint in his eyes?'
The fellow shrugged up his shoulders and walked away. Not believing
that the message was a refusal to admit me, I went straight upstairs,
and finding the door of an antechamber half open, and a chaplain
milling an egg-posset over the fire, I accosted him. The air of
familiarity and satisfaction he observed in me left no doubt in his
mind that I had been invited by his patron. 'Will the man never come?'
cried his lordship. 'Yes, monsignor!' exclaimed I, running in and
embracing him; 'behold him here!' He started back, and then I first
discovered the wide difference between an old friend and an
egg-posset.
_Eugenius._ Son Filippo! thou hast seen but little of the world, and
art but just come from Barbary. Go on.
_Filippo._ 'Fra Filippo!' said he gravely, 'I am glad to see you. I
did not expect you just at present: I am not very well: I had ordered
a medicine and was impatient to take it. If you will favour me with
the name of your inn, I will send for you when I am in a condition to
receive you; perhaps within a day or two.' 'Monsignor!' said I, 'a
change of residence often gives a man a cold, and oftener a change of
fortune. Whether you caught yours upon deck (where we last saw each
other), from being more exposed than usual, or whether the mitre holds
wind, is no question for me, and no concern of mine.'
_Eugenius._ A just reproof, if an archbishop had made it. On uttering
it, I hope thou kneeledst and kissedst his hand.
_Filippo._ I did not indeed.
_Eugenius._ Oh, there wert thou greatly in the wrong! Having, it is
reported, a good thousand crowns yearly of patrimony, and a canonicate
worth six hundred more, he might have attempted to relieve thee from
slavery, by assisting thy relatives in thy redemption.
_Filippo._ The three thousand crowns were the uttermost he could
raise, he declared to Abdul, and he asserted that a part of the money
was contributed by the inhabitants of Pesaro. 'Do they act out of pure
mercy?' said he. 'Ay, they must, for what else could move them in
behalf of such a lazy, unserviceable street-fed cur?' In the morning,
at sunrise, he was sent aboard. And now, the vessel being under weigh,
'I have a letter from my lord Abdul,' said the master, 'which, being
in thy language, two fellow slaves shall read unto thee publicly.'
They came forward and began the reading. 'Yesterday I purchased these
two slaves from a cruel, unrelenting master, under whose lash they
have laboured for nearly thirty years. I hereby give orders that five
ounces of my own gold be weighed out to them.' Here one of the slaves
fell on his face; the other lifted up his hands, praised God, and
blessed his benefactor.
_Eugenius._ The pirate? the unconverted pirate?
_Filippo._ Even so. 'Here is another slip of paper for thyself to read
immediately in my presence,' said the master. The words it contained
were, 'Do thou the same, or there enters thy lips neither food nor
water until thou landest in Italy. I permit thee to carry away more
than double the sum: I am no sutler: I do not contract for thy
sustenance.' The canonico asked of the master whether he knew the
contents of the letter; he replied no. 'Tell your master, lord Abdul,
that I shall take them into consideration.' 'My lord expected a much
plainer answer, and commanded me, in case of any such as thou hast
delivered, to break this seal.' He pressed it to his forehead and then
broke it. Having perused the characters reverentially, 'Christian!
dost thou consent?' The canonico fell on his knees, and overthrew the
two poor wretches who, saying their prayers, had remained in the same
posture before him quite unnoticed. 'Open thy trunk and take out thy
money-bag, or I will make room for it in thy bladder.' The canonico
was prompt in the execution of the command. The master drew out his
scales, and desired the canonico to weigh with his own hand five
ounces. He groaned and trembled: the balance was unsteady. 'Throw in
another piece: it will not vitiate the agreement,' cried the master.
It was done. Fear and grief are among the thirsty passions, but add
little to the appetite. It seemed, however, as if every sigh had left
a vacancy in the stomach of the canonico. At dinner the cook brought
him a salted bonito, half an ell in length; and in five minutes his
reverence was drawing his middle finger along the white backbone, out
of sheer idleness, until were placed before him some as fine dried
locusts as ever provisioned the tents of Africa, together with olives
the size of eggs and colour of bruises, shining in oil and brine. He
found them savoury and pulpy, and, as the last love supersedes the
foregoing, he gave them the preference, even over the delicate
locusts. When he had finished them, he modestly requested a can of
water. A sailor brought a large flask, and poured forth a plentiful
supply. The canonico engulfed the whole, and instantly threw himself
back in convulsive agony. 'How is this?' cried the sailor. The master
ran up and, smelling the water, began to buffet him, exclaiming, as he
turned round to all the crew, 'How came this flask here?' All were
innocent. It appeared, however, that it was a flask of mineral water,
strongly sulphureous, taken out of a Neapolitan vessel, laden with a
great abundance of it for some hospital in the Levant. It had taken
the captor by surprise in the same manner as the canonico. He himself
brought out instantly a capacious stone jar covered with dew, and
invited the sufferer into the cabin. Here he drew forth two richly-cut
wineglasses, and, on filling one of them, the outside of it turned
suddenly pale, with a myriad of indivisible drops, and the senses were
refreshed with the most delicious fragrance. He held up the glass
between himself and his guest, and looking at it attentively, said,
'Here is no appearance of wine; all I can see is water. Nothing is
wickeder than too much curiosity: we must take what Allah sends us,
and render thanks for it, although it fall far short of our
expectations. Besides, our Prophet would rather we should even drink
wine than poison.' The canonico had not tasted wine for two months: a
longer abstinence than ever canonico endured before. He drooped: but
the master looked still more disconsolate. 'I would give whatever I
possess on earth rather than die of thirst,' cried the canonico. 'Who
would not?' rejoined the captain, sighing and clasping his fingers.
'If it were not contrary to my commands, I could touch at some cove or
inlet.' 'Do, for the love of Christ!' exclaimed the canonico. 'Or even
sail back,' continued the captain. 'O Santa Vergine!' cried in anguish
the canonico. 'Despondency,' said the captain, with calm solemnity,
'has left many a man to be thrown overboard: it even renders the
plague, and many other disorders, more fatal. Thirst too has a
powerful effect in exasperating them. Overcome such weaknesses, or I
must do my duty. The health of the ship's company is placed under my
care; and our lord Abdul, if he suspected the pest, would throw a Jew,
or a Christian, or even a bale of silk, into the sea: such is the
disinterestedness and magnanimity of my lord Abdul.' 'He believes in
fate; does he not?' said the canonico. 'Doubtless: but he says it is
as much fated that he should throw into the sea a fellow who is
infected, as that the fellow should have ever been so.' 'Save me, oh,
save me!' cried the canonico, moist as if the spray had pelted him.
'Willingly, if possible,' answered calmly the master. 'At present I
can discover no certain symptoms; for sweat, unless followed by
general prostration, both of muscular strength and animal spirits, may
be cured without a hook at the heel.' 'Giesu-Maria!' ejaculated the
canonico.
_Eugenius._ And the monster could withstand that appeal?
_Filippo._ It seems so. The renegade who related to me, on my return,
these events as they happened, was very circumstantial. He is a
Corsican, and had killed many men in battle, and more out; but is (he
gave me his word for it) on the whole an honest man.
_Eugenius._ How so? honest? and a renegade?
_Filippo._ He declared to me that, although the Mahomedan is the best
religion to live in, the Christian is the best to die in; and that,
when he has made his fortune, he will make his confession, and lie
snugly in the bosom of the Church.
_Eugenius._ See here the triumphs of our holy faith! The lost sheep
will be found again.
_Filippo._ Having played the butcher first.
_Eugenius._ Return we to that bad man, the master or captain, who
evinced no such dispositions.
_Filippo._ He added, 'The other captives, though older men, have
stouter hearts than mine.' 'Alas! they are longer used to hardships,'
answered he. 'Dost thou believe, in thy conscience,' said the captain,
'that the water we have aboard would be harmless to them? for we have
no other; and wine is costly; and our quantity might be insufficient
for those who can afford to pay for it.' 'I will answer for their
lives,' replied the canonico. 'With thy own?' interrogated sharply the
Tunisian. 'I must not tempt God,' said, in tears, the religious man.
'Let us be plain,' said the master. 'Thou knowest thy money is safe; I
myself counted it before thee when I brought it from the scrivener's;
thou hast sixty broad gold pieces; wilt thou be answerable, to the
whole amount of them, for the lives of thy two countrymen if they
drink this water?' 'O sir!' said the canonico, 'I will give it, if,
only for these few days of voyage, you vouchsafe me one bottle daily
of that restorative wine of Bordeaux. The other two are less liable to
the plague: they do not sorrow and sweat as I do. They are spare men.
There is enough of me to infect a fleet with it; and I cannot bear to
think of being in any wise the cause of evil to my fellow-creatures.'
'The wine is my patron's,' cried the Tunisian; 'he leaves everything
at my discretion: should I deceive him?' 'If he leaves everything at
your discretion,' observed the logician of Pesaro, 'there is no deceit
in disposing of it.' The master appeared to be satisfied with the
argument. 'Thou shalt not find me exacting,' said he; 'give me the
sixty pieces, and the wine shall be thine.' At a signal, when the
contract was agreed to, the two slaves entered, bringing a hamper of
jars. 'Read the contract before thou signest,' cried the master. He
read. 'How is this? how is this? _Sixty golden ducats to the brothers
Antonio and Bernabo Panini, for wine received from them?_' The aged
men tottered under the stroke of joy; and Bernabo, who would have
embraced his brother, fainted.
On the morrow there was a calm, and the weather was extremely sultry.
The canonico sat in his shirt on deck, and was surprised to see, I
forget which of the brothers, drink from a goblet a prodigious draught
of water. 'Hold!' cried he angrily; 'you may eat instead; but putrid
or sulphureous water, you have heard, may produce the plague, and
honest men be the sufferers by your folly and intemperance.' They
assured him the water was tasteless, and very excellent, and had been
kept cool in the same kind of earthern jars as the wine. He tasted it,
and lost his patience. It was better, he protested, than any wine in
the world. They begged his acceptance of the jar containing it. But
the master, who had witnessed at a distance the whole proceeding, now
advanced, and, placing his hand against it, said sternly, 'Let him
have his own.' Usually, when he had emptied the second bottle, a
desire of converting the Mohammedans came over him: and they showed
themselves much less obstinate and refractory than they are generally
thought. He selected those for edification who swore the oftenest and
the loudest by the Prophet; and he boasted in his heart of having
overcome, by precept and example, the stiffest tenet of their
abominable creed. Certainly they drank wine, and somewhat freely. The
canonico clapped his hands, and declared that even some of the
apostles had been more pertinacious recusants of the faith.
_Eugenius._ Did he so? Cappari! I would not have made him a bishop for
twice the money if I had known it earlier. Could not he have left them
alone? Suppose one or other of them did doubt and persecute, was he
the man to blab it out among the heathen?