Yes, Peggy was very sick; but she would not acknowledge it. It was
nothing but a violent headache,--a sudden cold; she would be up and
doing in the morning. The doctor! No, indeed, she would have nothing to
do with doctors. She had never taken a dose of medicine in her life, and
never would, of her own freewill. Sage tea was worth all the pills and
nostrums in the world. On the faith of her repeated assertions, that she
felt a great deal better and would be quite well in the morning, we
slept, my mother and myself, leaving the lamp dimly burning by the
solemn hour-glass.
About midnight we were awakened by the wild ravings of delirious
agony,--those sounds so fearful in themselves, so awful in the silence
and darkness of night, so indescribably awful in the solitude of our
lonely dwelling.
Peggy had struggled with disease like "the strong man prepared to run a
race," but it had now seized her with giant grasp, and she lay helpless
and writhing, with the fiery fluid burning in her veins, sending dark,
red flashes to her cheeks and brow. Her eyes had a fierce, lurid glare,
and she tossed her head from side to side on the pillow with the wild
restlessness of an imprisoned animal.
"Good God!" cried my mother, looking as white as the sheets, and
trembling all over as in an ague-fit. "What shall we do? She will die
unless a doctor can see her. Oh, my child, what can we do? It is
dreadful to be alone in the woods, when sickness and death are in the
house."
"_I_ will go for the doctor, mother, if you are not afraid to stay alone
with Peggy," cried I, in hurried accents, wrapping a shawl round me as I
spoke.
My mother wrung her hands.
"Oh! this is terrible," she exclaimed. "How dim and dark it looks
abroad. I cannot let you go alone, at midnight. It cannot be less than a
mile to Dr. Harlowe's. No, no; I cannot let you go."
"And Peggy must die, then. _She_ must die who has served us so
faithfully, and lived alone for us! Oh, mother, let me go I will fly on
the wings of the wind. You will hardly miss me before I return. I am not
afraid of the darkness. I am not afraid of the lonely woods. I only fear
leaving you alone with her."
"Go," said my mother, in a faint voice. "God will protect you. I feel
that He will, my good, brave Gabriella."
I kissed her white cheek with passionate tenderness, cast a glance of
anguish on Peggy's fearfully altered face, then ran out into the chill,
dark midnight. At first I could scarcely discern the sandy path I had so
often trodden, for no moon lighted up the gloom of the hour, and even
the stars glimmered faintly through a grey and cloudy atmosphere. As I
hurried along, the wind came sighing through the trees with such
inexpressible sadness, it seemed whispering mournfully of the dark
secrets of nature. Then it deepened into a dull, roaring sound, like the
murmurs of the ocean tide; but even as I went on the melancholy wind
pursued me like an invisible spirit, winding around me its chill,
embracing arms.
I seemed the only living thing in the cold, illimitable night. A thick
horror brooded over me. The sky was a mighty pall, sweeping down with
heavy cloud-fringes, the earth a wide grave. I did not fear, that is, I
feared not man, or beast or ghost, but an unspeakable awe and dread was
upon me. I dreaded the great God, whose presence filled with
insupportable grandeur the lonely night. My heart was hard as granite.
_I_ could not have prayed, had I known that Peggy's life would be given
in answer to my prayer. I could not say, "Our Father, who art in
heaven," as I had so often done at my mother's knee, in the sweet,
childlike spirit of filial love and submission. My Father's face was
hidden, and behind the thick clouds of darkness I saw a stern,
vindictive Being, to whom the smoke of human suffering was more
acceptable than frankincense and myrrh.
I compared myself wandering alone in darkness and sorrow, on such an
awful errand, to the fair, smiling being cradled in wealth, then
doubtless sleeping in her bed of down, watched by attending menials. Oh!
rebel that I was, did I not need the chastening discipline, never
exerted but in wisdom and in love?
Before I knew it, I was at Dr. Harlowe's door. All was dark and still.
The house was of brick, and it loomed up gloriously as I approached. It
seemed to frown repulsively with its beetling eaves, as I lifted the
knocker and let it fall with startling force. In a moment I heard
footsteps moving and saw a light glimmering through the blinds. He was
at home, then,--I had accomplished my mission. It was no matter if I
died, since Peggy might be saved. I really thought I was going to die, I
felt so dull and faint and breathless. I sunk down on the stone steps,
just as the door was opened by Dr. Harlowe himself, whom I had seen, but
never addressed before. Placing his left hand above his eyes, he looked
out, in search of the messenger who had roused him from his slumber. I
tried to rise, but was too much exhausted. I could scarcely make my
errand understood. I had run a mile without stopping, and now I _had_
stopped, my limbs seemed turned into lead and my head to ice.
"My poor child!" said the doctor, in the kindest manner imaginable. "You
should not have come yourself at this hour. It was hardly safe.
Why,--you have run yourself completely out of breath. Come in, while
they are putting my horse in the buggy. I must give _you_ some medicine
before we start."
He stooped down and almost lifted me from the step where I was seated,
and led me into what appeared to me quite a sumptuous apartment, being
handsomely carpeted and having long crimson curtains to the windows. He
made me sit down on a sofa, while he went to a closet, and pouring out a
generous glass of wine, insisted upon my drinking it. I obeyed him
mechanically, for life seemed glowing in the ruddy fluid. It was. It
came back in warmth to my chilled and sinking heart. I felt it stealing
like a gentle fire through my whole system,--burning gently, steadily on
my cheek, and kindling into light my heavy and tear-dimmed eyes. It was
the first glass I had ever tasted, and it ran like electricity through
my veins. Had the doctor been aware of my previous abstinence, he might
not have thought it safe to have offered me the brimming glass. Had I
reflected one moment I should have swallowed it less eagerly; but I
seemed sinking, sinking into annihilation, when its reviving warmth
restored me. I felt as if I had wings, and could fly over the dreary
space my weary feet had so lately overcome.
"You feel better, my dear," said the doctor, with a benevolent smile, as
he watched the effect of his prescription. "You must not make so
dangerous an experiment again as running such a distance at this time of
night. Peggy's life is very precious, I dare say, and so is yours. Are
you ready to ride? My buggy is not very large, but I think it will
accommodate us both. We will see."
Though it was the first time I had ever spoken with Dr. Harlowe, I felt
as much confidence in his kindness and benevolence as if I had known him
for years. There was something so frank and genial about him, he seemed,
like the wine I had been quaffing, warming to the heart. There was
barely room for me, slender as I was, for the carriage was constructed
for the accommodation of the doctor alone; but I did not feel
embarrassed, or as if I were intruding. He drove very rapidly,
conversing the whole time in a pleasant, cheering voice.
"Peggy must be a very valuable person," he said, "for you to venture out
so bravely in her cause. We must cure her, by all means."
I expatiated on her virtues with all the eloquence of gratitude.
Something must have emboldened my shy tongue,--something more than the
hope, born of the doctor's heart-reviving words.
"He is come--he is come," I exclaimed, springing from the buggy to the
threshold, with the quickness of lightning.
Oh! how dim and sickly and sad every thing appeared in that little
chamber! I turned and looked at the doctor, wondering if he had ever
entered one so sad before. Peggy lay in an uneasy slumber, her arms
thrown above her head, in a wild, uncomfortable attitude. My mother sat
leaning against the head of the bed, pale and statue-like, with her
hand, white as marble, partly hidden in her dark and loosely braided
hair. The doctor glanced at the bed, then at my mother, and his glance
riveted on her. Surprise warmed into admiration,--admiration stood
checked by reverence. He advanced a few steps into the room, and made
her as lowly a bow as if she were an empress. She rose without speaking
and motioned me to hand him a chair; but waiving the offered civility,
he went up to the side of the bed and laid his fingers quietly on the
pulse of his patient. He stood gravely counting the ticking of life's
great chronometer, while my mother leaned forward with pale, parted
lips, and I gazed upon him as if the issues of life and death were in
his hands.
"I wish I had been called sooner," said he, with a slight contraction of
the brows, "but we will do all we can to relieve her."
He called for a basin and linen bandage, and taking a lancet from his
pocket, held up the sharp, gleaming point to the light. I shuddered, I
had never seen any one bled, and it seemed to me an awful operation.
"You will hold the basin," said he, directing me with his calm,
benignant eye. "You are a brave girl,--you will not shrink, as some
foolish persons do, at the sight of blood. This side, if you please, my
dear."
Ashamed to forfeit the confidence he had in my bravery, or rather moral
courage, I grasped the basin with both hands, and held it firm, though
my lips quivered and my cheek blanched.
Peggy, awakened by the pressure of the bandage, began to rave and
struggle, and I feared it would be impossible to subdue her into
sufficient quietness; but delirious as she was, there was something in
the calm, authoritative tones of Dr. Harlowe's voice, that seemed
irresistible. She became still, and lay with her half-closed eyes fixed
magnetically on his face. As the dark-red blood spouted into the basin,
I started, and would have recoiled had not a strong controlling
influence been exerted over me. The gates of life were opened. How easy
for life itself to pass away in that deep crimson tide!
"This is the poetry of our profession," said the doctor, binding up the
wound with all a woman's gentleness.
Poor Peggy, who could ever associate the idea of poetry with her! I
could not help smiling as I looked at her sturdy arm, through whose
opaque surface the blue wandering of the veins was vainly sought.
"And now," said he, after giving her a comforting draught, "she will
sleep, and _you_ must sleep, madam," turning respectfully to my mother;
"you have not strength enough to resist fatigue,--your daughter will
have two to nurse instead of one, if you do not follow my advice."
"I cannot sleep," replied my mother.
"But you can rest, madam; it is your duty. What did I come here for, but
to relieve your cares? Go with your mother, my dear, and after a while
you may come back and help me."
"You are very kind, sir," she answered. With a graceful bend of the head
she passed from the room, while his eyes followed her with an expression
of intense interest.
It is no wonder. Even I, accustomed as I was to watch her every motion,
was struck by the exceeding grace of her manner. She did not ask the
doctor what he thought of Peggy, though I saw the words trembling on her
lips. She dared not do it.
From that night the seclusion of our cottage home was broken up. Disease
had entered and swept down the barriers of circumstance curiosity had so
long respected. We felt the drawings of that golden chain of sympathy
which binds together the great family of mankind.
Peggy's disease was a fever, of a peculiar and malignant character. It
was the first case which occurred; but it spread through the town, so
that scarcely a family was exempt from its ravages. Several died after a
few days' sickness, and it was said purplish spots appeared after death,
making ghostly contrast with its livid pallor. The alarm and terror of
the community rendered it difficult to obtain nurses for the sick; but,
thanks to the benevolent exertions of Dr. Harlowe, we were never left
alone.
Richard Clyde, too, came every day, and sometimes two or three times a
day to the spring, to know what he could do for us. No brother could be
kinder. Ah! how brightly, how vividly deeds of kindness stand out on the
dark background of sickness and sorrow! I never, never can forget that
era of my existence, when the destroying angel seemed winnowing the
valley with his terrible wings,--when human life was blown away as chaff
before a strong wind. Strange! the sky was as blue and benignant, the
air as soft and serene, as if health and joy were revelling in the
green-wood shade. The gentle rustling of the foliage, the sweet, glad
warbling of the birds, the silver sparkling of the streamlets, and the
calm, deep flowing of the distant river, all seemed in strange
discordance with the throes of agony, the wail of sorrow, and the knell
of death.
It was the first time I had ever been brought face to face with sickness
and pain. The constitutional fainting fits of my mother were indicative
of weakness, and caused momentary terror; but how different to this
mysterious, terrible malady, this direct visitation from the Almighty!
Here we could trace no second causes, no imprudence in diet, no exposure
to the night air, no predisposing influences. It came sudden and
powerful as the bolt of heaven. It came in sunshine and beauty, without
herald and warning, whispering in deep, thrilling accents: "Be still,
and know that I am God."