Chapter ii. 1. Que toutes actions qui se font publiquement fassent
voir son sentiment respectueux à toute la compagnie.
All actions done before others should be with some sign of
respectful feeling to the entire company.
2d. When in Company, put not your Hands to any Part of the Body not
usually Discovered.
Chapter ii. 3. Gardez-vous bien de toucher de la main aucune partie
de vostre corps, de celles qui ne sont point en veuë, en la
presence d'aucune autre personne. Pour les mains, & le visage, cela
leur est ordinaire. Et afin de vous y accoustumer pratiquez ce
poinct de ciuilité mesme en vostre particulier.
In the presence of any one, never put your hand to any part of the
person not usually uncovered. As for the hands and face they are
usually visible. In order to form a habit in this point of decency,
practise it even when with your intimate friend.
3d. Shew Nothing to your Friend that may affright him.
Chapter ii. 4. Ne faites pas voir a vostre compagnon, ce qui luy
pourroit faire mal au coeur.
Show nothing to your companion that may grieve him.
4th. In the Presence of Others sing not to yourself with a humming
Noise, nor Drum, with your Fingers or Feet.
Chapter ii. 5. Ne vous amusez pas à chanter en vous mesme, si vous
ne vous rencontrez si fort à l'écart qu'aucun autre ne vous puisse
entendre, non plus qu'à contre-faire le son du tambour par
l'agitation des pieds ou des mains.
Do not seek amusement in singing to yourself, unless beyond the
hearing of others, nor drum with your hands or feet.
5th. If you Cough, Sneeze, Sigh, or Yawn, do it not Loud, but Privately;
and Speak not in your Yawning, but put your handkerchief or Hand before
your face and turn aside.
Chapter ii. 8. Quand vous toussez ou quand vous esternuez, si vous
pouuez estre le maistre de ces efforts de nature, n'éclatez pas si
hautement & si fort. Ne poussez soûpirs si aigres que les autres
les puissent entendre.
9. Ne soufflez pas si asprement, faisant des hurlements en
baaillant. Et s'il vous est possible, empeschez vous absolum[=e]t
de baailler; mais ayez en un bien plus soin, quand vous entretenez
avec quelqu'vn, ou dans quelque conuersation. Car c'est un signe
manifest d'un certain dégoust de ceux avec qui vous vivez. Si vous
ne pouvez pas empescher de baailler, du moins gardez vous bien de
parler en cet instant mesme, & d'ouurir extraordinairem[=e]t la
bouche; mais pressez la sagement, ou en détournant tant soi peu la
face de la cõpagnie.
[Sidenote: The later French book advises one, in sneezing, not to shake
the foundations of the house.]
Whenever you cough or sneeze, if you can control these efforts of
nature, do not let the sound be high or strong. Do not heave sighs
so piercing as to attract attention. Do not breathe heavily, or
make noises in yawning. If you can, abstain from yawning,
especially while with any one, or in conversation. For it is a
plain sign of a certain dislike of those with whom you dwell. If
you cannot keep from yawning, at least be careful not to speak
while doing so, and not to gape excessively; press your mouth
adroitly or n turning a little from the company.
6th. Sleep not when others Speak, Sit not when others stand, Speak not
when you should hold your Peace, walk not when others Stop
Chapter ii. 11. C'est vne inciuilité & vne impertinence de dormir,
pendant que la cõpagnie s'entretient de discours; de se tenir assis
lors que tout le monde est debout, de se promener lors que personne
ne branle, & de parler, quãd il est temps de se taire ou d'écouter.
Pour celuy toutesfois qui a l'authorité, il y a des temps & des
lieux où il luy est permis de se promener seul, comme à un
Precepteur qui est dans la classe.
It is an incivility and an impertinence to doze while the company
is conversing, to be seated while the rest stand, to walk on when
others pause, and to speak when you should be silent, or listen.
For those in authority, as a Master in school, there are times and
places when it is admissible to walk alone.
7th. Put not off your Cloths in the presence of Others, nor go out of
your Chamber half Drest.
Chapter ii. 12. Il n'est pas seant d'auoir son liet en mauuais
ordre dans sa chambre, non plus que de s'habiller en la presence
des autres, ou de s'y dépoüiller, ou de sortir de sa mesme chambre
à demy habillé, couuert de sa coiffe, ou bonnet-de-nuiet, de rester
debout en sa chãbre ou estre attaché à son pulpitre auec sa robe
ouverté. Et quoy que vous ne manquiez pas de serviteur qui prenne
le soin de faire vostre liet; toutesfois en sortant, prenez garde
de le laisser découvert.
It is not seemly to leave your bed disarranged, to dress or undress
before others, or to leave your chamber half-dressed, covered with
a hood, or night-cap, or to remain standing in your room or at your
desk with open gown. And although you have a servant to make your
bed, nevertheless, take care when you go out to leave it uncovered.
8th. At Play and at Fire its Good manners to give Place to the last
Commer, and affect not to Speak Louder than ordenary.
Chapter ii. 15. Il est mal-seant, dans le jeu, ou aupres du feu de
faire attendre trop long-temps ceux qui viennent à s'y presenter.
It is impolite at play, or at the fireside, to make the new-comers
wait for places too long.
_(In the second clause, "affect not" &c., the Washington MS.
follows Hawkins in misunderstanding a phrase of the next Maxim:
"Prenez garde de vous échauffer trop au jeu, & aux emportements qui
s'y eleu[~e]t,"--a warning against being overheated at play, and
"carried away by its excitements.")_
10th. When you Sit down, Keep your Feet firm and Even, without putting
one on the other or Crossing them
Chapter ii. 18. Pour l'ordre que l'on doit tenir étant assis, c'est
de placer bien ses pieds à terre en égale distance que les cuisses,
non pas de croiser vne cuisse ou vn pied sur l'autre.
When seated, the feet should be placed well on the ground, in even
distance with the legs, and neither a leg or a foot should be
crossed on the other.
11th. Shift not yourself in the Sight of others nor Gnaw your nails.
Chapter ii. 7. C'est vne inciuilité insupportable d'allonger son
corps en estendant les bras, ou de faire differents postures.
Chapter iii. 19. Il ne faut iamais rogner ses ongles dans le
public, & bien moins les prendre à beiles dents.
It is insufferably impolite to stretch the body, extend the arms,
or to assume different postures.
Do not pare your nails in public, much less gnaw them.
12th. Shake not the head, Feet, or Legs rowl not the Eys, lift not one
eyebrow higher than the other wry not the mouth, and bedew no mans face
with your Spittle, by appr[oaching too nea]r [when] you Speak.
Chapter ii. 21. Vous ne hocherez la teste, vous ne remuerez point
les jambes, ny ne roüillerez les yeux, ne froncerez point les
sourcils, ou tordrez la bouche. Vous vous garderez de laisser aller
auec vos paroles de la saliue, ou du crachat aux visages de ceux,
auec qui vous conversez. Pour obvier à cét accident, vous ne vous
en approcherez point si prés; mais vous les entretiendrez dans vne
distãce raisonnable.
Shake not the head, nor fidget the legs, nor roll the eyes, nor
frown, nor make mouths. Be careful not to let saliva escape with
your words, nor any spittle fly into the faces of those with whom
you converse. To avoid such accident do not approach them too near,
but keep at a reasonable distance.
13th Kill no Vermin as Fleas, lice ticks &c in the Sight of Others, if
you See any filth or thick Spittle put your foot Dexteriously upon it if
it be upon the Cloths of your Companions, Put it off privately, and if
it be upon your own Cloths return Thanks to him who puts it off
Chapter ii. 22. Gardez vous bié de vous arrester à tuër vne puce,
ou quelque sale bestiole de cette espece, en presence de qui que a
puisse estre. Que si quelque chose d'immòde vient à vous offenser
la veuë, en regardant à terre, comme quelque crachat infect, ou
quelque autre chose semblable, mettez le pied dessus. S'il en
attache quelque'vne aux habits de celuy à qui vous parlez, ou
voltige dessus, gardez vouz bien de la luy monstrer, ou à
quelqu'autre personne; mais trauaillez autant que vous pourrez à
l'oster adroitement. Et s'il arriue que quelqu'vn vous oblige tant
que de vous défaire de quelque chose de semblable, faites luy
paroistre vostre reconnoissance.
Do not stop to kill a flea, or other disgusting insect of the kind,
in the presence of any one. If anything disgusting offends the
sight on the ground, as phlegm, etc., put your foot on it. If it be
on any garment of one to whom you are talking, do not show it to
him or another, but do your best to remove it unobserved. If any
one oblige you in a thing of that kind make him your
acknowledgments.
14th. Turn not your Back to others especially in Speaking, Jog not the
Table or Desk on which Another reads or writes lean not upon any one.
Chapter ii. 24. En la rencontre que l'on fait des personnes, quand
on les entretient, c'est une chose malseante de leur tourner le dos
& les épaules. C'est vne action impertinente de heurter la table ou
d'ébranler le pupitre, dont vn autre se sert pour lire, ou pour
écrire. C'est vne inciuilité de s'appuyer sur quelqu'vn, de tirer
sa robbe, lors que l'on luy parle ou que l'on le peut entretenir.
When one meets people, it is very unbecoming in speaking to them to
turn one's back and shoulders to them. It is an impertinent action
to knock against the table, or to shake the desk, which another
person is using for reading or writing. It is uncivil to lean
against any one, or to pluck his dress when speaking to him, or
while entertaining him in conversation.
15th. Keep your Nails clean and Short, also your Hands and Teeth Clean,
yet without Shewing any great Concern for them
Chapter ii. 25. Gardez vous bien de vous arrester en toute sorte de
conuersation, à rajuster vostre rabat, ou à rehausser vos chausses
pour les faire ioindre & en paroitre plus galaud. Que vos ongles ne
soient point replis d'ordures, ny trop longs. Ayez grand soin de la
netteté de vos mains; mais n'y recherchez point la volupté.
[Sidenote: Hawkins: "without overmuch attendance thereon or curiosity."]
Take good care not to stop, in any sort of conversation, to adjust
your bands, or to pull up your stockings to make them join so as to
look more gallant. Do not let your nails be full of dirt or too
long. Have a great regard for the cleanliness of your hands, but do
not be finikin about it.
16th. Do not puff up the Cheeks, Loll not out the tongue rub the Hands,
or beard, thrust out the lips, or bite them or keep the lips too open or
too close.
Chapter ii. 26. C'est une vilainie de s'enfler les joües, de tirer
la langue, de se manier la barbe, se frotter les mains, d'estendre
ses levres ou les mordre, de les tenir trop serrées ou trop
entrouuertes.
It is very low to puff out the cheeks, to put out the tongue, to
pull one's beard, rub one's hands, poke out or bite the lips, or to
keep them too tightly closed or too open.
17th. Be no Flatterer, neither Play with any that delights not to be
Play'd Withal.
Chapter ii. 27. Ne flattez & n'amadoüez personne par belles
paroles, car celui qui pretend d'en gagner un autre par les
discours emmiellez, fait voir qu'il n'en a pas grande estime, &
qu'il le tient pour peu sensé & adroit, dés qu'il le prend pour vn
hõme que l'on peut ioüer en cette maniere: n'usez point de
gausseries auprés d'vne personne qui s'en offense.
Do not flatter or wheedle any one with fair words, for he who
aspires to gain another person by his honied words shows that he
does not hold him in high esteem and that he deems him far from
sensible or clever, in taking him for a man who may be tricked in
this manner: do not play practical jokes on those who do not like
it.
18th. Read no Letters, Books, or Papers in Company but when there is a
Necessity for the doing of it you must ask leave: come not near the
Books or Writings of Another so as to read them unless desired or give
your opinion of them unask'd also look not nigh when another is writing
a Letter
Chapter ii. 28. C'est vne action directement opposée à la
bien-séance, de lire quelque livre, quelques lettres ou autres
choses semblables dans vne conversation ordinaire, si ce n'est en
vne affaire pressante, ou pour quelque peu de moments; & mesme
encore en ce cas, est-il à propos d'en demander la permission, si
vous n'estes, possible, le Superieur de la compagnie. C'est encore
pis de manier les ouvrages des autres, leurs livres, & d'autres
choses de cette nature, de s'y attacher, d'en approcher la veuë de
plus prés, sans la permission de celuy à qui la chose appartient,
aussi bien que de leur donner des loüanges, ou les censurer, auant
que l'on vous en demande vostre sentiment; de s'approcher trop
prés, & d'incommoder celuy de qui ou est voisin, lors qu'il prend
la lecture de ses lettres ou de quelqu'-autre chose.
It is an act directly opposed to politeness to read a book, letters
or anything else during ordinary conversation, if it be not a
pressing matter, or only for a few moments, and even in that case
it is proper to ask leave unless you are, possibly, the highest in
rank of the company. It is even worse to handle other people's
work, their books or other things of that nature, to go close to
them, to look at them closely without the permission of the owner,
and also to praise or find fault with them before your opinion has
been asked; to come too close to any one near by, when he is
reading his letters or anything else.
19th let your Countenance be pleasant but in Serious Matters Somewhat
grave
Chapter ii. 29. Que le visage ne paroisse point fantastique,
changeant, égaré, rauy en admiration, couuert de tristesse, divers
& volage, & ne fasse paroître aucun signe d'vn esprit inquiet: Au
contraire, qu'il soil ouuert & tranquille, mais qu'il ne soit pas
trop épanoüy de joye dans les affaires serieuses, ny trop retiré
par vne grauité affectée dans la conversation ordinaire & familiere
de la vie humaine.
The face should not look fantastic, changeable, absent, rapt in
admiration, covered with sadness, various and volatile, and it
should not show any signs of an unquiet mind. On the contrary, it
should be open and tranquil, but not too expansive with joy in
serious affairs, nor too self-contained by an affected gravity in
the ordinary and familiar conversation of human life.
20th The Gestures of the Body must be Suited to the discourse you are
upon
Hawkins i. 30. Let the gestures of thy body, be agreeable to the
matter of thy discourse. For it hath been ever held a solaesime in
oratory, to poynt to the Earth, when thou talkest of Heaven.
_(The nearest Maxim to this is one directed against excessive and
awkward gesticulation in speaking, in which it is said: "Parmy les
discours regardez à mettre vostre corps en belle posture" (While
speaking be careful to assume an elegant posture)._ 21st. Reproach
none for the Infirmaties of Nature, nor Delight to Put them that
have in mind thereof.)
Chapter iv. 6. Ne reprochez les défauts à personne, non pas mesme
de la nature, & ne prenez plaisir à faire confusion à qui que ce
soit, par vos paroles.
[Sidenote: Hawkins adds: "which by no Art can be amended."]
Reproach none for their Infirmities--avoid it equally when they are
natural ones--and do not take pleasure in uttering words that cause
any one shame, whoever it may be.
22d. Shew not yourself glad at the Misfortune of another though he were
your enemy
Hawkins i. 32. When thou shalt heare the misfortunes of another,
shew not thy selfe gladed for it, though it happ to thy enemy, for
that will argue a mind mischievous, and will convict thee of a
desire to have executed it thy selfe, had either power or
opertunity seconded thy will.
_(Nothing corresponding to Rule 22 is found among the Maxims of the
Jesuit fathers; but the later French book has the following: "Shew
not your self joyful and pleased at the misfortunes that have
befallen another, though you hated him, it argues a mischievous
mind, and that you had a desire to have done it your self, if you
had had the power or opportunity to your will.")_ 23d. When you see
a Crime punished, you may be inwardly Pleased; but always shew
Pity to the Suffering Offender.
Hawkins i. 33. When thou seest justice executed on any, thou maist
inwardly take delight in his vigilancy, to punish offenders,
because it tends to publique quiet, yet shew pity to the offender,
and ever Constitute the defect of his morality, thy precaution.
[Sidenote: This Rule has been nearly destroyed by mice.]
[24th. Do not laugh too loud or] too much at any Publick [spectacle,
lest you cause yourself to be laughed at.]
Hawkins i. 34. Laugh not too much or too Loud, in any publique
spectacle least for thy so doing, thou present thy selfe, the only
thing worthy to be laughed at.
25th. Superfluous Complements and all Affectation of Ceremony are to be
avoided, yet where due they are not to be Neglected
Chapter iii. 1. Quoy qu'il soit bon de s'épargner vn trop grand
soing de pratiquer vne ciuilité affectée, il faut pourtant estre
exact à en obseruer ce qui est necessaire & auantageux pour faire
paroistre une belle éducation, & ce qui ne se peut obmettre sans
choquer ceux auec qui l'on converse.
Though it is right to avoid too great care in practising an
affected civility, yet one must be exact in observing what is
necessary and advantageous in order to show a good education, and
all that cannot be omitted without shocking those with whom one is
conversing.
26th. In pulling off your Hat to Persons of Distinction, as Noblemen,
Justices, Churchmen, &c make a Reverence, bowing more or less according
to the Custom of the Better Bred, and Quality of the Persons. Amongst
your equals expect not always that they Should begin with you first, but
to Pull off the Hat when there is no need is Affectation, in the Manner
of Saluting and resaluting in words keep to the most usual Custom.
Chapter iii. 2. Témoignez vos respects aux hommes illustres &
honorables, le chappeau en la main, comme aux Ecclesiastiques, ou
aux Magistrats, ou à quelques autres personnes qualifiées; en
tenant vers vous le dedans du chappeau que vous aurez osté: Faites
leur aussi la reverence par quelque inclination de corps, autant
que la dignité de chacun d'eux, & la belle coûtume des enfants bien
nourris, le semble exiger. Et comme c'est vne chose fort inciuile
de ne se pas découurir devant ceux à qui l'on doit ce respect, pour
les saluër, ou d'attendre que vostre égal vous rend le premier ce
deuoir; aussi de le faire, quand il n'est pas à propos, ressent sa
ciuilité affectée: mais c'est vne honteuse impertinence de prendre
garde si l'on vous rend vostre salutation. Au reste pour saluër
quelqu'vn de parole, ce compliment semble le plus propre, qui est
vsité par personnes le plus polies.
Show your respect for illustrious and honourable men,--such as
Ecclesiastics, Magistrates, or other persons of quality,--hat in
hand, holding the inside of the removed hat towards you; make your
reverence to them by inclining your body as much as the dignity of
each and the custom of well-bred youth seems to demand. And, as it
is very rude not to uncover the head before those to whom one owes
such respect, in order to salute them, or to wait till your equal
should perform this duty towards you first, so also, to do it when
it is not fitting savours of affected politeness: but it is
shameful impertinence to be anxious for the return of one's salute.
Finally, it seems most fitting to salute any one in words, a
compliment which the politest persons are in the habit of using.
27th. Tis ill manners to bid one more eminent than yourself be covered
as well as not to do it to whom it's due. Likewise he that makes too
much haste to Put on his hat does not well, yet he ought to Put it on at
the first, or at most the Second time of being ask'd; now what is herein
Spoken, of Qualification in behaviour in Saluting, ought also to be
observed in taking of Place, and Sitting down for ceremonies without
Bounds is troublesome.
Chapter iii. 3. C'est une grande inciuilité d'entreprendre de prier
vn superieur de se couurir, aussi bien que de n'en pas supplier
celuy à qui cela se peut faire. Et celuy qui se haste trop de se
couurir, particulierement en parlant à quelque personne qualifiée,
ou qui pressé par plusieurs fois de ce faire, le refuse, choque la
bienscéance; c'est pour cela qu'à la 1. ou 2. fois il est permis de
se couurir, si l'vsage ne se trouue contraire en quelque Prouince
ou Royaume. Et en effet entre les égaux, ou auec de plus âgez, soit
Religieux, ou domestiques, il est permis d'accorder cette requeste
à vn égal ou à vn plus ieune, dés la 1. fois. Toutefois ceux qui
sõt égaux, ou fort péu differents les vns des autres, ont coustume
de se faire cette priere, & de se couurir tout ensemble. Toutes les
remarques donc qui se sont faites icy de la bonne conduite, doiuent
estre aussi entenduës de l'ordre qu'il faut tenir à prendre place,
& à s'asseoir: car le plaisir que l'on prend aux ciuilitez & aux
complimens, est tout à fait importun.
It is very impolite to ask a superior to be covered, as it is not
to do so in the case of one with regard to whom it is proper. And
the man who is in haste to put his hat on, especially in talking to
a person of quality, or who, having been urged several times to do
so, refuses, shocks good manners; for this reason, after the first
or second request, it is allowable to put the hat on, unless in
some province or kingdom where the usage is otherwise. In fact,
amongst equals, or with those who are older, or who belong to
religious orders, or domestics, it is allowable to grant that
request to one's equal or to a younger man, at the very first time.
However, those of equal rank, or between whom there is little
difference of rank, usually make the request and put on their hats
at the same time. All the remarks here made on polite conduct, must
also be extended to the order to be observed in taking places, and
in sitting down; for the pleasure taken in ceremonies and
compliments is really irksome.
28th. If any one come to Speak to you while you are Sitting Stand up tho
he be your Inferiour, and when you Present Seats let it be to every one
according to his Degree.
Chapter iii. 5. Si vous estes assis, lors que quelq'vn vous vient
rendre visite, leuez-vous dés qu'il approche; si la dignité de la
personne demande cette deference, comme s'il a quelque aduantage
sur vous, s'il vous est égal, ou inferieur; mais non pas fort
familier. Si vous vous reposez chez vous, ayant quelque siege,
faites en soite de traiter chacun selon son merite.
If you are sitting down when any one pays you a call rise as soon
as he comes near; whether his position demands that deference, as
having precedence over you, or if he be your equal, or inferior;
but not if he is on very intimate terms with you. If you are in
your own house, having any seat to offer, manage to treat each
guest according to his station.
29th. When you meet with one of Greater Quality than yourself, Stop, and
retire especially if it be at a Door or any Straight place to give way
for him to Pass
Chapter iii. 6. Quand vous rencontrez des personnes à qui vous
deuez du respect, outre les devoirs d'vne salutation ordinaire,
vous estes obligé de vous arrester quelque peu de temps, ou de
rebrousser chemin jusqu'à l'entrée des portes, ou aux coins des
ruës, pour leur donner passage.
[Sidenote: Walker says, "If you meet a superior in a narrow way, stop,
and press to make him more room."]
In meeting those to whom you should shew respect beyond the
salutations which are their due, you should stop a little, or
retreat to a threshold, or to the corner of the street, so as to
make way for them.
30th. In walking the highest Place in most Countrys Seems to be on the
right hand therefore Place yourself on the left of him whom you desire
to Honour: but if three walk together the middle Place is the most
Honourable the wall is usually given to the most worthy if two walk
together.
Chapter iii. 7. S'il arriue que vous faciez la promenade auec eux,
vous leur laisserez tousiours la place honorable, qui est celle qui
sera marquée par l'vsage. A parler generalement, il semble que
plusieurs Nations ont passé en coustume que la droite soit tenuë
pour vne marque de reuerence, de telle soit, que quand quelq'vn
veut deferer à un autre, il le mette à sa droicte, en prenant sa
gauche. Lors que trois hommes se promenent ensemble, le plus
qualifié a tousiours le milieu: Celuy qui tient la droite, a le
second lieu, & l'autre qui reste à la gauche, n'a que le troisiéme.
Mais en France, quand l'on se promene au long d'vn mur; par ce que
ce lieu est presque toujours plus eleué & plus net à cause de sa
pente, la coûtume porte presque par tout qu'elle soit laissée au
plus qualifié, & particulierement quand deux personnes marchent
ensemble.
If you happen to take a walk with them, always give them the place
of honour, which is that pointed out by usage. To speak generally,
it appears that several nations have made it a custom that the
right should always be held as a mark of esteem, so that, when any
one wishes to honour another, he will put him on his right, himself
taking the left. When three are walking together, he of the highest
quality always has the middle: he who takes the right has the
second place, and the other who remains on the left has the third.
But in France, when walking by the side of a wall, that place being
almost always higher and cleaner because of the slope, the custom
almost always is that it be yielded to the man of the highest
quality, and particularly when two are walking together.
31st. If any one far Surpasses others, either in age Estate, or Merit
[yet, in any particular instance,] would give Place to a meaner than
himself [in his own house or elsewhere] the one ought not to except it,
So [the other, for fear of making him appear uncivil, ought not to
press] it above once or twice.
Chapter iii. 9. Si celuy qui se trouuera beaucoup plus avancé en
âge, ou auantagé en dignité, soit en sa maison ou en quelqu'autre
lieu, veut honorer son inferieur, comme il n'est pas à propos que
cet inferieur s'en estime digne, de mesme aussi ne faut-il pas que
celuy qui est superieur, l'en presse auec trop de soin, ou luy
témoigne sa deference plus d'vne ou deux fois, de crainte que
l'assiduité de sa supplication reïterée ne rabatte quelque chose de
la bonne opinion que celuy qui le refuse, avoit conceu de son
addresse & de sa courtoisie, ou qu'il luy fasse commettre enfin une
inciuilité.
If he who is much the older, or has the advantage of rank, wishes,
in his house or elsewhere, to honour his inferior, as it is not
fitting that such inferior should think himself worthy, so also the
superior must not press him too much or show such deference more
than once or twice, lest the assiduity of his reiterated requests
lower somewhat the good opinion which he who refuses, had conceived
of his tact and courtesy, or lest, at last, it cause him to be
guilty of some incivility.
32d. To one that is your equal, or not much inferior you are to give the
chief Place in your Lodging and he to who 'tis offered ought at the
first to refuse it but at the Second to accept though not without
acknowledging his own unworthiness
Chapter iii. 10. Mais entre les égaux, il est bien à propos en
receuant quelqu'vn dans sa maison, de luy donner la place la plus
honnorable. Et celuy à qui l'on fait un sì bon accueil, en doit
faire quelque refus d'abord, mais à la seconde instance de son amy,
il luy doit obeyr.
[Sidenote: Maxim iii. 8, which says that acceptance of a first place
should be accompanied by an acknowledgement of unworthiness, is
represented in the last words of Rule 32.]
But amongst equals, it is quite right, in receiving any one into
one's house, to give him the most honourable place; and the person
to whom one accords such a good reception ought at first rather to
refuse it, but, when his friend insists a second time, he ought to
obey him.
33d. They that are in Dignity or in office have in all places
Preceedency but whilst they are Young they ought to respect those that
are their equals in Birth or other Qualitys, though they have no Publick
charge.
Chapter iii. 12. A ceux qui out le cõmandement, & qui sont dans le
pouuoir, ou qui exercent les Charges de Judicature, l'on donne
tousiours les premieres places en toute sorte de compagnie. Mais
qu'ils sçachent eux-mesmes que s'ils sont jeunes, ils sont obligez
de respecter ceux qui sont d'aussi noble maison qu'eux, on qui les
deuancent de beaucoup en âge, & sont honorez du degré de Doctorat;
quoy qu'ils n'exercent aucune charge publique; Et bien plus, ils
leur doiuent d'abord remettre la premiere place qu'il leur auoient
deferé, & en suitte auec modestie, receuoir cest honneur comme une
grace.
[Sidenote: The second clause is not in the French Maxims.]
In every company the first place is always given to those in
command, or in power, or who exercise judicial charges. But these,
if young, should realise that they ought to respect those who
belong to houses as noble as their own, or who are much older, and
those honoured with the degree of Doctor, though not exercising any
public function; and moreover they ought, at first, to return an
offer of the highest place, and afterwards receive that honour
modestly, as a favour.
34th. It is good Manners to prefer them to whom we speak before
ourselves especially if they be above us with whom in no Sort we ought
to begin.
Chapter iii. 13. Il est de la derniere ciuilité de parler tousiours
mieux de ceux auec qui nous avons à conuerser, que de vous mesmes:
Et particulieremet quãd ce sont des personnes éleuées audessus de
nous, auec qui il ne faut iamais contester en aucune maniere.
[Sidenote: Compare the last clause of this Maxim with Rule 40.]
It is the height of politeness always to speak better of those with
whom we have to converse than of ourselves. And particularly when
they are persons of a superior rank to ourselves, with whom we
ought never to dispute in any fashion.
35th. Let your Discourse with Men of Business be Short and
Comprehensive.
Chapter iii. 15. Le temps & le lieu, l'âge & la difference des
personnes doivent regler tout cét vsage de compliments qui se fait
parmy les plus polis, & particulierement ceux qui consistent dans
les paroles. Mais l'on doit trancher court auec les personnes
affairées & ne leur presenter plus aux nez toutes ses agreables
fleurettes: il les faut épargner, & se faire entendre plustost par
mines, qu'auec des paroles.
Time and place, age and the difference between persons, ought to
regulate the whole custom of compliments as is done amongst the
most polite, especially compliments that consist in words. But one
should cut matters short with men of business, and not put one's
fine flowerets under their nose; one should spare them, and make
himself understood rather by looks than words.
36th. Artificers & Persons of low Degree ought not to use many
ceremonies to Lords, or Others of high Degree but Respect and highly
Honour them, and those of high Degree ought to treat them with
affibility & Courtesie, without Arrogancy
Chapter iii. 16. Comme le soin de la ciuilité la plus raffinée ne
doit pas beaucoup trauailler les esprits des Artisants & de la lie
du peuple enuers les Grands & les Magistrats; aussi est-il
raisonnable qu'ils ayent soin de leur rendre de l'honneur: de mesme
il est à propos que la Noblesse les traitte [_sic_] doucement & les
épargne, & qu'elle éuite toute sorte de superbe.
As the care for the most refined politeness ought not to trouble
much the minds of artizans and of the dregs of the people, as
regards Nobles and Magistrates, while it is reasonable that they
should take care to honour such, so it is also right that the
nobility should treat them gently, spare them, and avoid all manner
of arrogance.
37th. In Speaking to men of Quality do not lean nor Look them full in
the Face, nor approach too near them at lest Keep a full Pace from them.
Chapter iii. 18. En parlant aux personnes qualifiées, ne vous
appuyez point le corps; ne leuez point vos yeux iusques sur leur
visage; ne vous en approchez pas trop prés, & faites en sorte que
ce ne soit iamais qu'à vn grãd pas de distance.
In speaking to persons of quality, do not lean your body on any
thing; do not raise your eyes to their face; do not go too near,
and manage to keep a full step from them.
38th. In visiting the Sick, do not Presently play the Physicion if you
be not Knowing therein.
Chapter iii. 19. Quãd vous visiterez quelque malade, ne faites pas
aussi-tost le Medicin, si vous n'estes point experimenté en cette
science.
When you go to see any sick person do not immediately act the
physician if you are not experienced in that science.
39th. In writing or Speaking, give to every Person his due Title
According to his Degree & the Custom of the Place.
Chapter iii. 20. Lors que vous addresserez des lettres à des
personnes qui seront dans l'estime publique; vous vous gouuernerez
aupres d'eux, selon la coustume du pays & le degré de leur dignité.
Quand vous aurez acheué vos lettres, relisez-les, pour en oster les
fautes; mettez de la poudre sur l'escriture, lors qu'il en sera
besoin & ne pliez iamais vostre papier que les characteres ne
soient bien desechez, de crainte qu'ils ne s'effacent.
In addressing letters to persons held in public esteem, you will be
regulated by the Customs of the country and the degree of their
dignity. When you have finished your letters, read them over again
so as to correct mistakes; sand the writing, when necessary, and
never fold your paper until the letters are quite dry, lest they be
effaced.
40th. Strive not with your Superiers in argument, but always Submit your
Judgment to others with Modesty
Hawkins ii. 20. Strive not with thy Superiours, in argument or
discourse, but alwayes submit thy opinion to their riper judgment,
with modesty; since the possibility of Erring, doth rather
accompany greene than gray hairs.
41st. Undertake not to teach your equal in the art himself Professes; it
flavours of arrogancy.
Hawkins ii. 21. Doe not undertake to teach thy equal, in the Art
himself professeth, for that will savour of Arrogancy, and serve
for little other than to brand thy judgment with Rashnesse.
_(Nothing has been found in the French Maxims resembling Rule 41.
Walker has the following: "Cautious also must be he who discourseth
even of that he understands amongst persons of that profession: an
affectation that more Scholars than wise men are guilty of; I mean
to discourse with every man in his own faculty; except it be by
asking questions and seeming to learn" (p. 266))._
[42d. Let your ceremonies in] curtesie be proper to the Dignity of his
place [with whom you converse; it is absurd to ac]t ye same with a Clown
and a Prince.
Hawkins ii. 22. Let thy Seremonyes in Courtesy be proper to the
dignity and place, of him with whom thou conversest. For it is
absurd to honour a Clown with words courtly and of magnificence.
43d. Do not express Joy before one sick or in pain for that contrary
Passion will aggravate his Misery
Hawkins ii. 23. Do not thou expresse joy before one sick, or in
paine; for that contrary passion, will aggravate his misery. But do
thou rather sympathize his infirmityes, for that will afford a
gratefull easement, by a seeming participation.
44th. When a man does all he can though it Succeeds not well blame not
him that did it.
Chapter iv. 3. Celui qui fait tout ce qui luy est possible, pour
auancer vostre affaire, quoy qu'il ne la meine pas, & n'en puisse
auoir le succez cõme vous l'esperez, ne doit point entendre de
reprimãde; puis qu'il est plus digne de loüange que de blâme.
The man who does all he can to advance your business, even though
he should not bring it about, and may not be able to obtain the
success you hoped for, ought not to hear reproaches, since he is
more worthy of praise than of blame.
[Sidenote: Hawkins has only 'sweetness,' Washington being here closer
to the French.]
45th. Being to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to
be in publick or in Private; presently, or at Some other time in what
terms to do it & in reproving Shew no signs of Cholar but do it with all
Sweetness and Mildness
Chapter iv. 4. Si vous auez à exhorter ou reprendre quelqu'vn,
prenez bien garde, s'il est plus à propos de le faire en
particulier ou en public, en ce temps ou en vn autre, bien plus,
quelles paroles vous y deuez employer: Et particulierement lors que
quelqu'vn ayãt esté desia reprimãdé d'autres fois, ne se corrige
point des fautes passées, & ne promet point d'amandement. Et soit
que vous donniez quelques auis, ou que vous fassiez quelque
reprimande, donnez-vous de garde de vous mettre en cholere, au
contraire pratiquez ces actions auec moderation & douceur.
If you have to exhort or to reproach any one, consider whether it
be better to do so in private or in public; at this time or another
and, above all, what words you should use: and particularly when
some one having been already reprimanded at other times does not
correct himself of his past faults, and does not promise any
amendment. And if you give any advice, or impart any reprimand,
carefully avoid anger; on the contrary, do such acts with
moderation and sweetness.
46th. Take all Admonitions thankfully in what Time or Place Soever given
but afterwards not being culpable take a Time or Place Convenient to let
him know it that gave them.
Chapter iv. 5. Aussi quiconque se donnera la peine de vous
remonstrer de quelque façõ, en quelque lieu, & en quelque temps
qu'il le fasse, qu'il soit écouté de vostre part auec beaucoup de
ressentiment de bienueillance & de reconnoissance. Et apres cela,
si vous vous sentez innocent, & qu'il vous semble à propos de vous
prouuer tel, il vous sera bien permis de le faire; mais auec ce
soin de predre bien vostre temps, & plustost pour luy en faire voir
la verité, & le tirer de peine, & plus si vous estes en sa charge,
ou si vous releuez de son pouuoir, que pour vous appuyer de quelque
excuse.
Also when any one takes the trouble to rebuke you, no matter how,
where, or when he does it, hear him for your part with much feeling
of goodwill and acknowledgment. And after that, if innocent, and it
seems right to prove yourself so, you will be quite at liberty to
do so; being careful, however, to choose a proper time, and rather
to make him see the truth, and relieve him from anxiety,--the more
if you are in his charge or depend on his authority--than to defend
yourself with some excuse.
[4]7th. Mock not nor Jest at anything of Importance break no Jest that
are Sharp Biting, and if you Deliver anything witty and Pleasent abtain
from Laughing thereat yourself.
Chapter iv. 7. Ne vous amusez point aux equiuoques ny en matiere
importante, ny en choses honteuses. Si vous trouuez bon de railler,
gardez vous bien de mordre, & bien plus de déchirer comme un chien.
Que les bons-mots & les rencontres soient tirées du suiet, que les
vns & les autres ayent leur gentillesse & leur pointe, sans attirer
l'indignation de personne. Que les plaisanteries ne soient point
comme celles des bouffons, qui font rire par des representations
extrauagantes, & des actions deshonnestes: si vous rencontrez
ioliment, si vous donnez quelque bon-mot, en faisant rire les
autres, empeschez-vous-en, le plus qu'il vous sera possible.
Do not divert yourself with _equivoques_, either in important or in
mean matters. If you find good occasion for a joke, be careful not
to bite, still less to tear, like a dog. Witticisms and repartee
should be to the point, and should have elegance and
appropriateness without exciting the indignation of any. Do not let
your pleasantries degenerate into those of buffoons, who raise
laughter by extravagant representations and indecent action. If you
are clever in repartee, if you say a good thing, manage if
possible, in making others laugh, to abstain from it yourself.
48th. Wherein wherein you reprove Another be unblameable yourself; for
example is is more prevalent than Precepts
Hawkins iii. 8. Be sure thy conversation be in that poynt vertuous,
wherein thou art desirous to retaine another, least thy Actions
render thy advice unprofitable. Since the ratification of any
advice is the serious prosecution of that vertue. For example hath
ever been more prevalent than precept.
49th. Use no Reproachfull Language against any one neither Curse nor
Revile
Hawkins iii. 11. Use no reproachfull language against any man, nor
Curse, or Revile. For improperations and imprecations will rather
betray thy affections than in any manner, hurt him against whom
thou utters them.
[5]0th. Be not hasty to believe flying Reports to the Disparagement of
any
Hawkins iii. 10. Thou oughtest not too suddenly to believe a flying
Rumour of a friend, or any other. But let charity guid thy
judgment, untill more certainty: for by this meanes thou securest
his Reputation, and frees thy self of rashness.
51st. Wear not your Cloths, foul, unript or Dusty but See they be
Brush'd once every day at least and take heed that you approach not to
any Uncleanness
Chapter v. 4. Que vos habits ne demeurent point sales, déchirez,
couuerts de poussiere, ou pelez. Qu'ils soient tous les iours du
moins vne fois nettoyez auec les époussettes. Et prenez bien garde
aussi en quel lieu vous vous assoirez, où vous vous mettrez à
genoux, où vous vous accouderez, que le lieu ne soit point
malpropre, ny reply d'immondices. Ne portez point le manteau sur le
bras, à l'imitation des Fanfarons. Et mettant bas ou vostre robbe,
ou vôtre mãteau, pliez les bien proprement & adroitement, & prenez
bien garde où vous les posez.
Do not let your clothes be dirty, torn, covered with dust or
threadbare. Have them brushed at least once a day. And take care
also in what place you sit down, or kneel, or rest your elbows,
that it be not unfit or filthy. Do not carry your cloak over your
arm after the manner of swaggerers. And when you take off your coat
or cloak, fold them neatly and carefully, and take care where you
put them.
[Sidenote: 'Accomodate nature' is a phrase from a precept in Hawkins
concerning apparel.]
52nd. In your Apparel be Modest and endeavour to accomodate Nature,
rather than to procure Admiration keep to the Fashion of your equals
Such as are Civil and orderly with respect to Times and Places
Chapter v. 5. Choisissez tousiours des habits semblables à ceux de
vos compagnons qui passent pour les plus honnestes & moderez, en
considerant les lieux & les temps auec discretion: & outre cela,
faites qu'en ce poinct vous paroissiez souhaitter d'estre vestu le
plus simplement & modestement de tous vos égaux, bien plustost que
d'affecter les plus beaux vestements.
Always choose clothes like those of your companions who pass for
the most genteel and moderate, in discreet consideration of time
and place: and more, make it a point to be the most simply and
modestly dressed of all your equals, rather than to affect the
finest raiment.
53d. Run not in the Streets, neither go too slowly nor with Mouth open
go not Shaking y'r Arms [stamping, or shuffling; nor pull up your
stockings in the street. Walk] not upon the toes, nor in a Dancing [or
skipping manner, nor yet with measured steps. Strike not the heels
together, nor stoop when there is no occasion]
Chapter vi. 1. Faites en sorte quand vous marchez, de ne pas faire
des démarches precipitées, d'auoir la bouche ouuerte & comme
beante, & de ne vous trop demener le corps, ou le pancher, ou
laisser vos mains pendantes, ou remuer & secoüer les bras; sans
frapper trop rudement la terre, ou letter à vos pieds de part &
d'autre. Cette sorte d'action demande encore ces conditions, que
l'on ne s'arreste pas à retirer ses chausses en haut, dans le
chemin, que l'on ne marche sur les extremitez des pieds, ny en
sautillant ou s'eleuant, comme il se pratique en la dance, que l'on
ne courbe point le corps, que l'on ne baisse point la teste, qne
l'on n'auance point à pas cõptez, que l'on ne se choque point les
talons l'un contre l'autre en entrant dans l'Eglise, que l'on ne
reste point teste nuë a la sortie. Si la deuotion n'y oblige, comme
lors qu'il est question d'accompagner le Tres-sainct Sacrement.
In walking guard against hurried steps, or having your mouth open
and gaping; and do not move your body too much, or stoop, or let
your hands hang down, or move and shake your arms; walk without
striking the ground too hard or throwing your feet this way and
that. That sort of action also demands these conditions,--not to
stop to pull up one's stockings in the street, not to walk on the
toes, or in a skipping rising as in dancing; do not stoop, nor bend
the head; do not advance with measured steps; do not strike the
heels against each other on entering church, nor leave it
bareheaded, unless devotion requires it, as in accompanying the
Holy Sacrament.
54th. Play not the Peacock, looking everywhere about you, to See if you
be well Deck't, if your Shoes fit well if your Stockings Sit neatly, and
Cloths handsomely.
Chapter vi. 2. Ne vous amusez pas à vous quarer comme vn Paon, &
regarder superbement autour de vous, si vous estes bien mis, & bien
chaussé, si vos hauts-dechausses & vos autres habits vous sont
bienfaits. Ne sortez point de vostre chãbre, portant vostre plume à
vostre bouche, ou sur vostre aureille. Ne vous amusez pas à mettre
des fleurs à vos aureilles, à vostre bonnet, ou à vostre chappeau.
Ne tenez point vostre mouchoir à la main, ou pendu à vostre bouche,
ny à vostre ceinture, ny sous vostre aiselle, ny sur vostre
espaule, ou caché sous vostre robbe. Mettez-le en lieu d'où il ne
puisse être veu, & il puisse estre toutesfois cõmodément tiré, dez
qu'il en sera besoin. Ne le presentez iamais à personne, s'il n'est
tout blanc, ou presque pas deployé.
Do not delight in strutting like a peacock, or look proudly around
to see if you are well decked, if your breeches and other clothes
fit well. Do not leave your room carrying your pen in your mouth or
behind your ear. Do not indulge yourself by putting flowers in your
ears, cap, or hat. Do not hold your pocket-handkerchief in your
hand, hanging from your mouth, at your girdle, under your armpit,
on your shoulder, or stuffed under your coat. Put it in some place
where it cannot be seen, but from whence you may easily draw it
when you want it. Never offer it to anybody unless it be quite
clean, or hardly unfolded.
55th. Eat not in the Streets, nor in ye House, out of Season.
Chapter vi. 3. Ne marchez jamais par les chemins, en mangeant, soil
seul ou en compagnie, & particulierement parmy la foule de la
ville. Ne vous mettez pas mesme à manger en la maison hors de temps
du repas, & du moins abstenez vous en, quand il s'y rencontrera
quelqu'vn.
Never walk on the roads eating, whether alone or in company,
especially amid the crowd in a town. Do not set to eating even in
the house out of meal-times; at least abstain from it in the
presence of others.
56th. Associate yourself with Men of good Quality if you Esteem your own
Reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad Company.
Chapter vi. 5. Et si, vous voulez passer pour honneste, accostez
vous tousiours des Gents-de-bien, si vous n'en trouuez pas la
commodité, ou par ce que vous n'en connoissez point, ou pour
quelqu'autre raison, il vaut tousiours mieux que vous alliez seul,
qu'en mauuaise compagnie.
If you wish to pass as genteel, always go with well-bred people; if
you cannot get the chance,--from not knowing any, or any other
reason,--it is always better to go alone than in bad company.
57th. In walking up and Down in a House, only with One in Company if he
be Greater than yourself, at the first give him the Right hand and Stop
not till he does and be not the first that turns, and when you do turn
let it be with your face towards him, it he be a Man of Great Quality,
walk not with him Cheek by Jowl but Somewhat behind him; but yet in such
a Manner that he may easily Speak to you.
[Sidenote: The repetition of the feminine "Elle" refers to 'vne
personne,' in the first line, although the masculine ('qu'il' and
's'il') has twice followed it. There is no allusion to the female sex in
the French Maxims.]
Chapter vi. 7. Si vous promenez auec vne personne seule dans la
maison, & qu'il soil d'vne conditiõ qui luy fasse meriter quelque
deference, dés le premier pas de la promenade, ne manquez pas de
luy donner la droite: Ne cessez point de marcher, s'il ne vient à
s'arrester: Ne changez pas le premier le diuertissement, & en vous
tournant, ne luy montrez iamais les épaules; mais tousiours le
visage. Si elle est dans vne charge releuée, gardez bien de marcher
d'vn pas tout à fait égal; mais suiuez tant soit pen derriere, auec
tant de iustesse pourtant & de moderatiõ, qu'elle vous puisse bien
parler sans s'incõmoder. Si elle vous est égale allez d'un mesme
pas tout le long de la promenade, & ne tournez pas tovsiours le
premier, à chaque bout de champ; ne faites pas si souuent des
pauses au milieu du chemin sans suiet. Car cette liberté ressent
sa grandeur & donne du mécontentement. Celuy qui tient le milieu
dans vne compagnie dont il est enuironné, si ceux qui la composent,
sont égaux, ou presque égaux, il se doit tourner vne fois à droit
dans la promenade, & s'ils se rencontrent notablement inegaux, il
se doit plus souuent tourner vers le plus qualifié. Enfin que ceux
qui l'enuironnent, viennent tousiours à se détourner de son costé &
en mesme temps que luy, non point deuant ny apres; puis qu'il est
comme le but de la promenade.
If you are walking about the house alone with a person whose rank
demands some deference, at the very first step be sure and give him
the right hand: Do not stop walking if he does not wish to stop: Be
not the first to change the diversion, and, in turning, never show
him your shoulder but always your face. If he has a high public
appointment take care not to walk quite side by side with him but a
very little behind him with so much exactness and moderation that
he may be able to speak to you without inconvenience. If he is your
equal in rank, keep step with him during the whole walk, and do not
always turn first at every end of the walk. Do not stop often
midway without reason, such liberty touches his dignity and gives
dissatisfaction. He who is the centre of the company by whom he is
surrounded ought, if those of whom it consists are equal or nearly
equal in rank, always to turn to the right once during the walk,
and if they are manifestly unequal, he should oftenest turn towards
the most distinguished. Lastly those who are about him should
always turn round towards his side and at the same time as he,
neither before nor after, as he is, so to say, the object of the
walk.
58th. let your conversation be without malice or envy, for 'tis a sign
of a tractable and commendable nature: & in all causes of passion admit
reason to govern
Hawkins v. 9. Let thy conversation be without malice or envye, for
that is a signe of a tractable and commendable nature. And in all
causes of passion, admit reason for thy governesse. So shall thy
Reputation be either altogether inviolable, or at the least not
stayned with common Tinctures.
59th. Never express anything unbecoming, nor Act against the Rules Moral
before your inferiours
[Sidenote: Walker: 'A man should not divertise himself with his
Inferiors, nor make his Servants privy to his infirmities and
failures.']
Hawkins v. 10. Never expresse any thing unbeseeming, nor act
against the Rules morall, before thy inferiours, For in these
things, thy own guilt will multiply Crimes by example, and as it
were, confirme Ill by authority.