Dear ROSE, in your way, you're as brimful of Art
As a picture by REYNOLDS, a statue by GIBSON;
And we'll never cut _you_, though we don't like your part,
Pretty ROSE, in _A Doll's House_, as written by IBSEN,
Yet we crowd on your track, as the hounds on the quarry's,
And, though carping at _Nora_, delight in our NORREYS.
* * * * *
[Illustration: TROUBLE IN TOM TIDDLER'S GROUND.
_British Tom Tiddler_. "IF THIS GOES ON, HOW ABOUT MY GOLD AND
SILVER?"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: A DAY IN THE LAW COURTS.
(_A page from the Posthumous Diary of the late Mr. Pepys._)]
[MR. PUNCH'S "TABLEAU." SOCIETY IN COURT.]
Up betimes and to the Court at the New Palace of Justice hard by the
Strand, and near the sign of the Griffin which has taken the place of
Temple Bar, upon which did stand long ago the heads of traitors. There
did I see a crowd high and low trying to get in. But the custodians
and the police mighty haughty, but withal courteous, and no one to
be admitted without a ticket signed by the Lord Chief Justice. And
I thought it was a good job my wife was not with me. She had a great
longing to see a sensation action (as the journals have it), and she
being of a fiery disposition and not complacent when refused, might
have made an uproar, which would have vexed me to the heart. But in
truth I found no trouble. It did seem to me that they did not see me
as I entered in. And plenty of room and no crowding, at which I was
greatly contented, as I love not crushing. Pretty to see the crowd of
fine folks! And there were those who had opera-glasses. And when the
Bench was occupied by the Lord Chief Justice--a stately gentleman--and
the other persons of quality, how they did gaze! And the dresses of
the ladies very fine, and did make the place--which was splendid,
and they tell me the largest in the building--like a piece at the
play-house! And the Counsel, how they did talk! Mighty droll to
hear them contradict! One would have it that Black was White; which
convinced me I had fallen into error, until another had it that he who
had spoken was wrong, and White was Black! Good lack! who shall decide
when Counsel differ? and I was mightily content that I was not on the
jury, although one of these good people did have the honour of
asking a question of His Royal Highness. And it was answered most
courteously, at which I was greatly pleased and contented. Then did I
hear the witnesses. In a mighty dread that I might be called myself!
For that which did seem plain enough when he who was in the box was
asked by his Counsel, did appear all wrong when another questioned
him. And the Jury, looking wise, and making notes. And it is droll to
see how civil everyone is to the Jury, who, methinks, are no cleverer
than any of us? The Lord Chief Justice himself smiling upon them,
and mighty courteous! And met my friend, A. Briefless, Junior, who it
seems, is always in the Courts, and yet doeth no business. And he did
say that it was the strongest Bar in England. And he did tell me how
Sir Charles was eloquent, and Sir Edward was clever at fence, and how
young Master Gill was most promising. And I noticed how one fair Lady,
who was seated on the Bench, did seem to arrange everything. And many
beauties there, who I did gaze upon with satisfaction. To see them in
such gay attire was a pretty sight, and did put my heart in a flutter.
And I was pleased when the Court adjourned for luncheon; and it did
divert me much to see what appetites they all had! Some had brought
sandwiches, and, how they did eat them! But the Lord Chief Justice
soon back again, and more witnesses examined until four of the clock,
when the day was over. So home, and described to my wife what I had
seen, except the damsels.
* * * * *