Meant to go again this afternoon, but disappointed; had to take
charge of books which had come; great work, and unsatisfactory too.
Meant to have made long visits to New Camp this afternoon; "Alles
verijdeld" (everything fell through).
Visits 432, 482, 268 (old Mr. De V.), 494 (aunt of Miss Van Rooi,
who died in hospital), 458, 424, 499, and 503.
Went again with couple of eggs and milk to 432 and 424.
Poor little girl; so very sick, and on ground too.
Found 458 in total darkness; no lights, and little boy dying.
Foeitog! Borrowed half a candle from Mrs. Van As.
Ordered bricks to-day for my house--3,500, at 1s. a hundred. Hope to
see it standing "moet 'n boog" (for show) by next week.
Split in connection with church; old lot near old church-stand
dissatisfied; some folk hard to please; rather vexing; they want us
to keep up service at old place as well.
Mr. Becker referred matter to me; said I was quite agreeable if there
was possibility of drawing two congregations. Mr. Otto may be induced
to conduct one.
Well, certainly, we have enough people for a double service.
Concerned about Catechism class; there must be hundreds who ought to
be confirmed. Concerned also about Sunday school. How are we to
collect these thousands! If the sickness in camp would only decrease,
what great things we could attempt.
Found packet Sunlight soap in tent; my ration; large family Van As
gets two cakes; I, single, whole packet; not very complimentary!
Sent parcel books to hospital as library; decided to divide
miscellaneous books into four small circulating libraries.
Mr. Becker funerals; eight.
* * * * *
Friday, September 20.--Early bird; brought over all books from store
tent; also cask of Quaker oats[50]; very glad of latter; will serve
out like mad next week.
Tent now regular chaos; boxes; feel need of house all the more.
Four circulating libraries--Otto's, Dussel's, Van As's, and Lubbe's.
Reading, however, rather an impossibility here in camp; one has
always something to do. What a blessing that everyone has work in
plenty, because in one's work one can derive a measure of happiness
and satisfaction; it detracts one's thoughts from the seamy side of
life just now.
Immediately after breakfast visited two dying babies, 585, 695.
Great crowd of children assembled in front of church, several
hundreds (I hear a weeping and a wailing close by; evidently someone
just died); hurried thither; gathered children in circle; Psalm 146;
prayer; address (privilege, obedience, faithfulness); also exhorted
them to take good care of church and to be careful of lines, ropes,
pegs, etc.
Ordered 3,500 bricks at 1s. 1-1/2d. per hundred; saw Superintendent,
who promised to provide roofing; hope he won't disappoint. Busy whole
morning with books.
Called after dinner Mrs. Pelser; ill and concerned about soul; same
one I had long talks with before; afraid she is still ignorant of
primary step, reconciliation with God; spent long while in making way
of salvation clear; Doppers; tent full; "Haar Leuze" (her delight),
Psalm 62, verse 1, and when I read it aloud I was on the point of
remarking, "Nee, wach, ik het die regte vers ver jou--Gez 39, vers 3,
'Komt gij allen" ("No, wait, I have the right verse for you--Hymn 39,
verse 3, 'Come ye all, sinners come, what dare hold you back"); saved
from this calamity[51] by mere chance (grace); perhaps they are
Doppers! and so it was. Narrow shave; second time!
Had to hurry to funerals; eight; Martie and Annie Erasmus; "Leer ons
alzoo onze dagen tellen" (So teach us to number our days).
(Here go the bearers with another corpse.)
Met another brother of Tolllie's; regular reproduction; brought me
to several new sick people; Mrs. Venter very, very ill. Fear! Asked
if I should pray for her; "Ja, Minheer" ("Yes, sir"). "En wat zal ik
bid?" ("And what shall I pray?") "Ach, Minheer, dat die Heere mij
gouw moet kom haal" ("O sir, that the Lord come quick to fetch me").
Poor old dad! He has lost eight children and grandchildren in camp
already, and this is his last daughter.
Neglected hospital again; disgusted; those troublesome books!
Had hurried walk round; Mrs. Kruger dying; prayed, but quite
delirious.
Met weeping mother on coming out; "Minheer, zal minheer tog nie ver
mij help nie om vir mij man een telegram te stuur, hij is in
Doornbult Camp. Ik is alleen hier en twee van mij kinders is al
dood, and nou le die dochtertje ernstig ziek in die hospital?" ("Sir,
won't you be able to help me to send a telegram to my husband, he is
in Doornbult Camp. I am alone here; two of my children are already
dead, and now my daughter lies dangerously sick in hospital")[52].
That is the saddest part of all. Mothers here alone with sick
children, and fathers far off--some in other camps. And then, when
Death comes and takes a child, the loneliness of such mothers is too
hard a burden to bear. Many children here and many who have died,
never yet seen by fathers.
Led prayer meeting at young Otto's tent; six young fellows.
* * * * *
Saturday, September 21.--Longish day; called early to see 270 and
269; again in evening to 270; last stage of consumption; won't last
long. (Here go those terrible bearers again! When, O when, will the
Angel of Death sheathe his scythe and depart out of our midst!)
Made church straight for morrow; fine stout "doornhout" (mimosa)
pins--(more bearers, here they go again!)--and two strong wires
fastened to stones buried in ground (anchors). There are some 24
school forms, and these will seat about 400 people.
Quaky about tomorrow; sermon unprepared; meant to have had afternoon
to self, but quite impossible.
Another death, 128; croup; Smit; tent removed on doctor's orders
outside camp while child dying; cruel; entreaties of mother vain;
child carried in dying condition; expired little after; when I came,
found woman in greatest distress; things bundled outside; indignant;
poor defenceless, helpless women. May God help them!
Visits 386, 424, 432, 489, 519.
Called to Mrs. Steyn, 541 (three children gone already); daughter
suddenly sick; looks like fever; found Mr. Becker there; poor little
mother! She is so reconciled and patient in her tribulation.
Called to tent near shop; Mrs. Theron; great pain; three children,
sick; no help; dependent on charity of neighbours; no light; God
alone knows how many tents there are without lights to-night and with
very sick inmates.
Hospital; talk with Mr. V.d.M.; very sick; delirious somewhat; Psalm
27, prayer.
Girlie in ward 1 very sick.
In children's ward found mother and grandmother sitting by bedside
of dying boy five years; mother broken; after my prayer there was a
tear glistening in the boy's left eye; pathetic to see mother wipe it
away as the tears rolled down her cheeks.
In the upper ward lies a girl[53] of fourteen, with the softest,
sweetest face imaginable; two clear, languid, blue eyes; very
dangerously ill; wonder if!
Prayed at bedside; daughter of the mother who asked me to wire to her
husband yesterday. Spoke to Superintendent; quite unsympathetic;
fruitless.
May God spare that child's life!
Mr. Becker funerals; seven or eight, I believe.
Called in by Mr. Kruger; wife died in hospital this morning; son (16
years) buried Monday; another child some days ago; poor fellow; he
himself sick; subscribed 5s. to assist him to obtain coffin.
Now for to-morrow's sermon!
* * * * *
Sunday, September 22.--Grand day; ideal weather; longish.
Up six o'clock; sermon; sweat; veld; "Om te doen gedenken" (To bring
to remembrance).
Inauguration of church; huge crowd; packed; hundreds outside.
Impossible to use even the tiniest bit of notes; "broekscheur." Made
rather mull of first half; "Ik gedenk heden aan mijne zonden" (I do
remember my faults this day). Introduction and second point more
satisfactory; luckily (?) girl fainted; seized opportunity to give
out hymn; grasped notes to refresh memory; "Ik gedenk heden aan de
weldaden des Heeren--God's liefde" (I remember this day the mercies
of the Lord--God's love).
Feel the utter insignificance of my best efforts; sore point; no time
at all to prepare; I tremble when I think of what I venture in
coldbloodedness.
After service went to 207; saw bedding outside, and knew the worst.
"Gister aand, minheer, is zij gestorven. Ach, minheer, zij kon tog
die minuut nie afwag nie, zoo haastig was zij om wegtegaan"
("Yestereen, sir, she died. O sir, she scarcely had patience to wait,
so eager she was to depart").
Great tribulation and bitterness on account of doctor, who insisted
on forcing hot coffee down her throat, and for whom Mrs. Venter was
desperately afraid; also on account of his violent conduct and
harshness in the presence of Death. She could not even die in peace.
Mrs. Steyn's girlie very bad; fever; so restless, and so much pain.
There again in evening; still so restless; no sleep last two nights;
advised Mrs. Steyn to send her to hospital; environment disastrous;
too much to remind her of her two brothers and sister, who died last
week.
Rounds in hospital; girlie No. 1 very bad.
In No. 4, girlie of Mrs. Van der Berg very low; did not know me
to-day; too beautiful a child, really; got mother permission to stay
with her to-night.
Mrs. Bonig's child still alive this afternoon; died towards evening.
Thank God!
Another little chap passed away quite suddenly in same tent this
morning.
Autoharp in convalescent tent.
Hurried to funerals; four; large crowd; several hundreds; Rev. 7,
chapter Mrs. Venter gave as comfort to her people, "Deze zijn het die
uit groote verdrukking komen" (These are they which come out of great
tribulation).
Hurried from there straight to church to lead girls' prayer meeting;
some sixty turned up; off the point, though, in their prayers.
And now for the cream of the day's work. Announced meeting for young
people, 7.15, in church; service of song; borrowed two lamps; scanty
light. Found immense crowd; many turned away; threw up side of tent;
numbers outside; some 500 young people and several old to watch.
Shall never forget how they sang Psalm 146. It was glorious! We sang
Psalms and gezangen and some "kinder harp liederen" (children's
hymns); and for the last, Gezangen 12, "op lieder wijs" (to new
tune). Beautiful! Short address on Zaccheus--"Moeilijkheden"
(difficulties). The heartiest and most refreshing meeting ever yet
attended; had to stand in middle all the while, with hardly room to
turn myself. So delighted that announced another meeting for Tuesday;
fine moon just now.
Great point is this--singing sounds lovely at distance, and can be
heard all through the camp and in hospital, and who knows how many
hearts are not refreshed as the strains come rolling by.
Mr. Becker afternoon service; great crowd also.
Now the day is over!
* * * * *
Tuesday, September 24.--Seedy all yesterday; no diary; straight to
bed; hot water from hospital; footbath.
Managed to get half a dozen sheets zinc from Superintendent for
roofing.
Distributed books to Elders yesterday afternoon.
Felt rather hopeless to-day; so much to do; quite at loss where to
begin; inclined just to sit still.
Visited southern corner of camp; Mrs. De Lint poorly; read letter
written by husband.
Gave out "briefies" for rice to some tents.
Astounded this evening by doctor, "Well, now, wasn't it fine that I
got you the right to grant briefies?" And this is the Donation Store,
quite independent of all Government Stores! A gentleman gave Mr.
Becker £50 for things; these goods arrived yesterday. Really, doctor
takes the cake--with baker and all! Told him a few gentle truths
about these goods.
Letters from home; hope those groceries of mine will come along all
right; and that order for £20 worth of stuff[54]. May I succeed in
getting the sole right of distribution when that arrives.
Champion[55] writes that at present he cannot fulfil order;
disappointing.
One does long so for something nice--some extras which here are quite
unobtainable[56]. Dry bread gets a bit monotonous after a while, and
the "vrekvlijs" becomes nauseous as the days roll by. It thrusts its
miserable, lean presence upon us day by day, and now it has become a
dreaded nightmare.
"Kerkeraads vergadering" in tent this afternoon; six Elders to
discuss Sunday services; the grumblers would not rest until they too
had their own big marquee tent on the old site.
Suggested that we have only one morning service in new place and two
afternoon services--one for old people at old place and one for young
at new place; could take further steps later on for a double morning
service if necessary; Elders agreeable; disperse.
Funerals; four; Mr. Van der Merwe died last night; felt sick myself,
and made fool of myself at graveside; but really could not contain
myself as they lowered the remains of Mr. Van der Merwe into grave;
so big and fine a man; in flower of manhood; wife dead, child dead;
so gentle and patient in his suffering; felt so drawn to him because
of his huge helplessness. Hard lines! Hard lines! Poor Nurse Rouvier!
After all these weeks of devoted, patient, hopeful attendance. It
does make one feel rather low. Quite unable to make any sort of
address at grave; sorry did not ask Mr. Otto.
Went through hospital; Mr. V.d.B. and Mr. Norval both dangerously
ill; fear the worst; pneumonia; former hard character, but to-day
quite softened; long talk; not yet saved; prayer; great suffering.
Read Psalm 27 to latter and prayed; very thankful.
Girlie Van der Berg in new ward very low; so weak. May God in His
tender mercy hear our prayer and restore her!
Lenie Steyn; hysterical; delirious all day; last night great
consternation; got her into hospital this morning.
Girl opposite her dying; mother's only child.
In men's ward little boy (14) died too.
Splendid meeting this evening; packed within and without(!).
Service of song; crowd half an hour before time; singing can be heard
all through camp. May many a sad and weary heart have found in our
singing a balm for the aching, longing heart.
Now for bed--glorious bed!
* * * * *
Wednesday, September 25.--Deathbed; sorrowful topic to write upon,
and yet why shirk it? Let me attempt what I have never before done--a
description of a deathbed. It is but human to hasten over the tragic
scenes of life, but this evening I want to tarry.
Something prompted me to make early visit to the hospital, so went
before breakfast. In first ward went straight to little Mita
Duvenhagen's bed, and her I found very bad--struggling hard to
breathe; so young and yet so bitter a suffering!
From there called by Mrs. Van den Berg to new ward, to come quickly,
as Lenie was dying. I went, and when I entered saw that God was going
to take her away. Let me not attempt to describe her angelic little
face of marble white, her beautifully chiselled nose, and her sweet
little mouth! Silently we knelt around her bedside--mother, nurse,
and I. Of her beautiful blue eyes I have said nothing, for they were
closed--the lids gently drawn, and the lashes trying hard to kiss the
soft smooth cheeks. "O God, come and help us! O Saviour, come and
take Thy place beside her bed--hold her hand--take her in Thy tender
arms and press her to Thy bosom! Bear her, Saviour, where Thou wilt,
for with Thee she is safe. Comfort our hearts and give us to bend our
heads in humble resignation--Thy will be done. Amen!"
"Lenie, Lenie, Lenie, mij kind, jou mammie is hier bij jou, en Jezus
ook is hier om jou hand te hou--moenie bang wees nie, mij kind" ("My
child, your mother is here, near you, and Jesus too is here to hold
your hand--don't be afraid, child"). Under her weary eyelids she
looked at us, and a large tear gathered in her left eye. It glistened
like a diamond for a moment, and then became the possession of the
sorrow-stricken mother. Then we were silent and watched. Slowly and
gently the lids opened--now again we could look into those clear blue
orbs. Wider--wider--and still wider they grow--uplifted, right away
beyond the three forms of clay before her. See how the pupils
dilate--they seem to swamp the blue! And so for a few short moments
they remain. It was a gaze right beyond us to--- what! Will it be
old-fashioned to suggest "Angels," perhaps! Until I grow wiser I
shall hold fast to Angels. O, the mystery of the Unknown!
And slowly, gently those lids sink once more to rest--to rest
indeed--for her spirit has fled. Peace, perfect peace!
How passing strange, how majestic in its simplicity, how weird in its
tragic stillness--the passing of a Soul--the disunion of Body and
Spirit! Is this Death? Then may I never fear its shadow!
Sunset and Evening Star!
* * * * *
Thursday, September 26.--Another day gone. What a day of sorrow and
tribulation!
Slept like a log.
Took round through camp late last night; heard distressing groans in
certain tent; made gentle enquiries; heard this remark after leaving,
"Nee, dit is een van die nach police wat hier rond loop" ("No, it is
one of the night police wandering about").
Foundations of house laid[57]; yesterday got use Scotch cart and
brought over some 1,000 bricks and stones for foundation; good
beginning to-day; now things will go swimmingly if weather remains
fine.
Unbearably hot to-day; tent untenable; thankful house in course of
erection.
Old story again; supply boards for coffins stopped, and now there is
the pitiful cry of those who seek wood to make coffins for departed
dear ones.
Yesterday old Mr. Duvenhagen came in distress to me; begged from
Superintendent, and got him two little boxes[58].
This morning had to tramp round to get hold of few boxes, for I
promised Lenie's mother I would provide wood. One does make very rash
promises sometimes--but anything to comfort stricken heart of
lonesome mother.
That Mrs. Van der Berg has now lost her three children; her husband
sits in Bloemfontein Refugee Camp. This to me so inexplicable, so
unreasonable, so cruel. Why cannot husband and wife be allowed to go
in same camp?
Well, I (next to) stole two nice planks in store tent, and what with
empty condensed milk box and my box which I used as chair, able to
give quite small fortune in wood for Lenie's coffin.
Buried her and Mita Duvenhagen (both 14) this afternoon; also two
small children; "Laat de kinderen tot mij komen en verhindert ze niet
want derzulken is het Koninkrijk Gods" (Suffer the little children to
come unto Me, and forbid them not, for such is the Kingdom of
Heaven).
Mita's grave away other end of cemetery (next her brother's), and so
I went and spoke few words at her grave too; sang "Voor eeuwig met
den Heere" (For ever with the Lord).
Just before funerals went to see Lena Steyn; very low; "Zien,
minheer, nou, hoe waar dit was wat zij geze het" (Do you see now,
sir, how true her words were?). She always persisted in saying that
she was going to die; shall write more of her on another occasion. We
prayed at bedside and committed her into God's keeping, Psalm 23; but
she was unconscious, I think, although her eyes wandered from mother
to me.
The procession had started already when I had still to hear wail of
old man of 76, "Ach, minheer, waar zal ik tog planke krij; mij vrouw
is dood, en ik kan nerens kiste krij nie" (O, sir, where can I get
boards; my wife is dead, and I can't get wood anywhere?).
Last night carried out some papers in my box I use as chair and burnt
them outside. Soon man stood next to me, "Minheer, zal ik dan nie
daardie kisje kan krij nie? Onze ou baby is dood, en ik kan nerens
vir haar een stukkie hout krij nie" (Sir, won't I be able to have
that little box? Our little baby is dead, and I can't get a scrap of
wood anywhere).
Early this afternoon another man came to me in great distress; also
no wood for coffin. It does seem so bitterly hard.
Visiting whole morning, mostly down New Camp way.
There is one man always at my back; times a day; came with most
wonderful request two days ago; wants me to get him a--guess? Baby!
Wife's died last week, and he is now loafing another.
This afternoon two prayer meetings; men and women; took men's down in
old church (big tent there now), "Heere zijt mij genadig" (Lord, be
merciful to me). The women's, I hear, was packed. I had over 100 men;
very good, seeing so few men here; nine prayers.
This evening children's service again; beautiful moon; glorious
singing; "Ik ga heen om u plaats te bereiden" (I go to prepare a
place for you); told about Lenie's deathbed; she is now in the
mansion prepared for her.
Went straight thence to see Lena Steyn; saw women standing in front
of tent; heard sobs, and knew the worst. Poor, poor Mrs. Steyn! "Ach,
Minheer, ik het daarom nie gedenk nie dat dit oor die helfte zou gaan
nie" (O, sir, I really never thought that it would go beyond the
half); had six children; four gone now; husband Ceylon, and she is
the dearest little mother in camp almost.
Knelt and prayed, and then mother said, "Kom, laat ons nog eenmal ver
haar gaan zien" (Come, let us go and see her once more); so went to
see Lena once more in morgue tent.
Rest after weariness; calm after storm; light after darkness; day
after dawn.
She passed away while the children were singing Gez. 11. While I
spoke to her (Mrs. Steyn) at tent she was laughing and sobbing
alternately; and then the thought flashed through her that there was
no wood for coffin, so I immediately took whole thing into my hands
and assured her I would provide and see that Lena gets coffin.
Another rash promise! The Lord only knows where the wood is to come
from! Late this evening, when I took her some cocoa, Mrs. Steyn told
me that Lena had said that I would provide coffin. So guess it will
come out well in end. The presentiments this child had of her death
and other things simply marvellous. Am going to write at greater
length about her when I see mother again.
And so these three girlies have gone to Jesus. Now, what has become
of all our prayers and supplications?
* * * * *
Friday, September 27.--Longish day.
Great question; where to get material for coffin for Lena? Remembered
that I saw that the school was supplied with bookcase, and that the
box in store tent (full of matches for distribution) could now be
otherwise used; removed all matches[59], and lo and behold! grand big
box empty and ready for carpenter; got matches distributed, each tent
got two boxes; Roos set to work, and with two more milk cases (loafed
at hospital), he was able to make quite respectable coffin. (A decent
and respectable coffin here made of scrap wood and small boxes fitted
together, and whole coated with preparation of boot blacking and oil.
A swell, extra fine coffin has a covering of cheap black material,
1s. 6d. yard.)
Several came again to-day seeking wood; some even wanted the
galvanized iron for my roof.
At graves this afternoon saw that they had made a shelf in a grave to
hold body and prevent ground falling directly upon it; made me think
of catacombs Rome.
Seven buried this afternoon; stood right in front of Lena's grave.
It was Mr. Becker's turn, but he was hindered from coming; rather
glad, for wanted to be there myself to-day; "En palmtakken waren in
hunne handen" (And palms were in their hands).
Mrs. Steyn found the lost kinderharp (hymn book) I had given Lena few
days ago; found under her pillow in morgue tent this afternoon. When
I gave it to her she said, "Maar, minheer, moet tog nie vergeet om
mij naam in te schrijve" (Sir, you must be sure to write my name in
it). So I must remember to do it still. Poor Mrs. Steyn, how
resignedly she bears her cross! Sang "Voor eeuwig met den Heere" at
grave.
Visits to-day on other side--269, 268, 487, 379, 178, 171, 262.
Called at 329, and found it was same tent where I heard such groans
last night; imbecile woman, 53 years; very sick; great suffering;
spoke to her, and she actually called me by my name; glad I found
tent again; old father of 86; always so keen and hearty at
wood-chopping.
Weeping woman came to me after funeral; "Minheer, zal minheer nie zoo
goed wees nie om vir Mrs. Engelbrecht in die hospitaal te vertel dat
haar kindje dood is, zij word nou begrave?" (Sir, will you be good
enough to tell Mrs. Engelbrecht in the hospital that her child has
died; she is to be buried now). So another painful task is in store
for me.
Received short note from Assistant Superintendent requesting me to
discontinue briefies for foodstuffs, "I have now three medical
officers who are well able to attend to the sick and needy." And this
man (Superintendent) himself requested and authorised me to issue
such notes but four days ago. Comment on whole matter superfluous. O
for a little more logic and consistency with some people! However, I
suppose I can interpret these things in my own way.
Held woman's prayer meeting this afternoon; good audience; "Viel aan
de voeten van Jezus en vertelde Him al de waarheid" (Fell at the
feet, of Jesus and told Him all the truth); six prayers; but O! such
long and wearying ones; thought men could drag it out, but let me be
silent about the women.
House 3 feet high; doorway up; grandish.
* * * * *
Sunday, September 29.--No diary yesterday; too tired and listless;
eager for bed.
What a grand thing to rest after work! Sleep, glorious, blessed
sleep; feel like writing an ode to extol its virtues. Yesterday
scorcher of a day.
Spent morning in old quarter; work most wearisome.
So many who call me in and pour out all their sorrows, and it is so
terribly hard always to be ready and willing to listen and
sympathise. One actually grows "dof" (dull) from sheer weakness. O
the monotony of sorrows and troubles!
Called in to see woman who had just received news that husband had
fallen in battle. Such sorrow is too great to realise; one can only
stand afar off to behold--and weep.
At 3 p.m. suddenly told that no one to take women's prayer meeting;
so had hurriedly to go without so much as minute's preparation; quite
large crowd.
Mr. Becker played me trick; he took funerals; four I believe, so I
had time to make short visit hospital.
Doctor stopped me two days ago, and said the man B---- in hospital
wished to be left alone; so left him alone; but this evening he has
gone to meet his God. Could never make him out. Was it ignorance or
obstinacy or indifference? May God have mercy on his soul.
Old Mr. Norval also died this afternoon; thank God; too terrible to
see him struggling with Death; unconscious the last three days; glad
read Psalm and prayed with him a few days ago.
And so our fellow-men around us are carried off by Death; and now
they are solving the great mystery of the Hereafter. Stupendous
thought!
These same men, women and children with whom I prayed, to whom I
spoke about eternal things--they know now what we are burning to
know. Is there Life after Death? Is there a Heaven? Is there a Hell?
What do the departed do just now? Is there perhaps a purgatory where
souls are purified? Is there a Throne above, around which a crowd
that cannot be numbered stand clothed in long white robes? What about
the palm branches? And a thousand more questions.
"The just shall live by his FAITH."
Last night children's service in lower church; great crowd; "En tot
zich zelven gekomen zijnde" (And when he came to himself).
This evening similar service in upper church; very bright and hearty;
Miss Dussel sang hymn and solo part of "Mannen breeders" (Hold the
Fort); nice change in programme; accompanied her on autoharp.
This morning went over to village and exchanged pulpits with Mr.
Becker; felt quite lost in big, empty church.
Old sermon had to "bite off spit"[60]; goodness knows where I would
have found time to prepare one.
Had nice chat with Macdonald's father.
Grand dinner; roast mutton and actually a dish full of gravy! Could
scarce believe my eyes; real gravy; how glorious; and rice too. Think
of it! Let me be silent about the dish of stewed peaches--I might
fill pages--a dish fit for the gods. Wonder what the look and smell
of a vegetable is? Have just faint recollection of such names as
potatoes, onions, beans, cauliflower, pumpkin, but I get a bit
blurred when try to discriminate; long absence has stunted my memory.
Believe there is a vegetable called beetroot too, and wonder if the
name cabbage is correct. By the way, what do we call that stuff one
sometimes puts on bread for breakfast and tea? I believe, too, having
heard and partaken of a preparation called jam in days gone by. And
what, now what, do they always put in tea and coffee in other places?
Fancy it has whitish colour; have an idea it can be drunk pure too.
Authority (Assistant Superintendent): "En wanneer eet julle Boere dan
breakfast?" (And when do you Boers eat your breakfast?)
"O, ik het laatste in Brandfort breakfast ge'eet; hier het ik schars
genoeg vir dinner" (O, I had breakfast last at Brandfort; here I get
scarce enough for dinner).
Had nice nap on sofa after dinner; what a noble thing a house is; how
spacious, how high, how cool! How unnecessarily large people do build
houses nowadays.
At 2.45 had to race back for afternoon service; young people; great
crowd (700 about); prepared sermon during the fifteen minutes' walk.
Record service; forty-five minutes.
Went through two wards hospital.
Mrs. De Wet dying; poor old mother! But she said all along she
wouldn't get well again; several very sick there.
Now for glorious bed.
P.S.--Not yet; there came wail from hospital; so I went up; as I
surmised, Mrs. De Wet "gone home"; and shall I soon forget that
little band of women in black returning to their tents while the pale
sad moon cast its shadows of sympathy!
"Ach, minheer, het ik nie gezondigd dat ik nie wou zien en geloof dat
zij gaat sterve?" (O, sir, did I not sin, in that I would not see and
believe that she would die?)
"Neen. Dank God liever voor die Liefde in u die u verblind heeft.
Dank God dat gij hebt liefgehad" (No. Thank God rather for the Love
within which blinded your eyes. Thank God that you have loved).
Another solving the great problem of the Unknown!
* * * * *
Monday, September 30.--End of month; cannot help remembering that
this was our finest, loveliest month in the Boland (Western
Province); and here we have been grovelling in the dust.
Another frightful day of wind and dust; two evils; open the tent to
ventilate, and anon everything covered with layer fine dust; close
tent and one gets suffocated. And one's clothes! Let me rather change
topic.
After burdens of yesterday felt more inclined for good quiet rest,
but tent too unbearably hot; so decided to do the hospital; there
knew I would find things cool.
First to men's ward; then through three women's wards, and finally to
convalescent ward; nice and cool in wards, but grew horribly tired.
What with a word of cheer all round and a straight talk to boot, and
after a Psalm, short address, and finally (and hardest of all) a
prayer--great weariness becomes master, and one feels regularly
"pap."
Hospital grown so large lately; takes few hours to "do" it
thoroughly.
Best of all, one has assurance and conviction such visits are indeed
source of comfort and blessing; mindful now of that sick mother in
No. 3; so despondent, and how she thanked me after visit; "Ik voel
nou weer blij in mij hart" (I feel glad at heart again). Psalm 115;
"Vertrouw op den Heere; Hij is mijn hulp en mijn schild" (Trust in
the Lord; He is our help and our shield); "De Heere is onzer
gedachtig geweest" (The Lord has been mindful of us); beautiful.
To my utter surprise found Mrs. Fourie in hospital; ailing lately;
sure this is much best for her. (The Van As's and Mr. and Mrs. F.
form one family circle here.)
Anyhow, this afternoon simply "dead off"; lay on bed till 3 p.m.; and
yet one always feels uncomfortable to be idle one hour; it feels like
neglect of duty. What one longs for is possibility to have one day or
afternoon off regularly; something to look forward to; some time when
one can sit still.
Funerals four (Mr. N., Mr. B., Mrs. De W., and girlie); "Dood, waar
is uw prikkel?" (Death, where is thy sting?).
Felt unhappy and uneasy all through address, for B. had requested me
to leave him alone. Well, anyway my address was directly for the
living and not about the dead.
Girl at door this afternoon; "Minheer, het min nie vir mij een
Wonderboek?" (Sir, havn't you got a Wonderbook for me?) "Hoe'n soort
boek?" (What kind of book?) "Een Wonderboek" (A Wonderbook). "Een
Wonderboek!" (head scratchings) "Nee, dit het ik tog glad nie. Maar
hoe'n soort boek is dit?" (A Wonderbook! No, I havn't that at all;
but what kind of book is it?) "Minheer, daar is tekste in om te leer"
(Sir, there are verses in it to learn). "Maar is dit dan nie een
Bijbel wat jij wil he?" (But isn't it a Bible you want?) "Ja,
minheer, dit is een Bijbel wat ik wil he" (Yes, sir, it is a Bible).
New name for Bible--Wonderboek. Not bad!
After tea called to visit very sick old man; long talk; no assurance
of forgiveness of sins. Spoke earnestly on Reconciliation with God as
first step; am afraid old man disappointed in me; fear he wanted me
to recite beautiful Psalms and so forth.
Now for line re house; walls nearly done; two windows; to-morrow
roof; edifice stands "met 'n oprechte boog' '(with great show); talk
of day; Pastorie.
Just returned from hospital; fear Mrs. Engelbrecht won't last through
night.