_Of the confirmation of his soul in the grace of God, and the
happy effects which it produced in him._
HE lived now as in another world. _Behold God is my salvation_, went
through the whole of his heart and conduct. His soul was delighted with
those good things reserved for, and enjoyed only by such as love God.
He so _tasted_ that the Lord is gracious, as left no room, at present,
for evil reasonings, and engrossed his whole body and soul for God. The
overflowings of his joy corresponding with his former sorrow, rendered
him happy beyond all description.
And this, as may be observed in the experience of the faithful,
is commonly the case; the peace and joy of justified souls, being
usually proportionate to their previous distress; God in this respect
likewise, comforting them according to the time wherein he had shewed
them trouble. The grand enquiry is “Am I really converted? Am I _now_
at peace, and in fellowship with God my Saviour?” If so, is not the
precise _how_ immaterial? Such persons then as have been led by slow,
and gradual steps; who have by a comparatively easy transition passed
_from darkness to light_, Let them give glory to their deliverer, and
not, on this account, perplex themselves with scruples for having been
so gently dealt with. Let them live only for Him, and they shall be
finally approved, in the presence of God and of his holy angels.
His happiness now received daily increase from the undoubted assurances
which he received of the genuine change.
He observes, “the more I compare my experience with the word of God,
and with the experience of his children, I am the more confirmed
that it is no delusion, no fancy; but a real work of God, a saving
change wrought in my soul by the Spirit of God, through faith in the
Lord Jesus Christ. I am persuaded however that the _natural man_,
(_1 Corinthians ii. 14._) cannot receive the things of the Spirit of
God. He has neither eyes to see, nor a heart to understand them. A
stranger doth not intermeddle with this joy. It is _the hidden manna_,
and the _white stone_, and the _new name_ (of adoption) written thereon,
(_Revelation ii. 17._) which no man knoweth save he that receiveth it.
Glory, glory be to God on high!
“Now did I find the yoke of Christ to be easy indeed, and his burden
light. His thoughts and commandments were sweet to my soul, sweeter
than honey to my tongue. It was my comfort all the day long to praise
my Lord, and to walk in the ways which he set before me. He created me
unto good works, and I chearfully walked in them.”
The Love of God being thus shed abroad in his heart enabled him rightly
to love his brother also. His soul was drawn out in good will and
tender affection to every creature: neighbours and strangers, friends
and enemies. “I could (says he) unfeignedly love them that hated me,
and pray for them that despitefully used and persecuted me!” Thus truly
evidencing himself, to be a child of his Father in heaven.
*But he did not stop here. His soul thirsted more and more for all the
_mind that was in Christ Jesus_. He followed after, and longed for, an
entire renovation; for nearer and stronger union and communion with the
Lord Jesus: nor could he be at all easy, otherwise than in a free and
near access to him, and a sweet enjoyment of his gracious presence. His
constant cry was, “Make me holy. Fulfil in me all the good pleasure of
thy goodness, and the work of faith with power.” For this he struggled,
and pleaded much with God.
This was early his mark, and the glorious prize at which he aimed
throughout the residue of his christian race.
His enjoyments were hitherto, with scarce the smallest alloy, having
had, not so much as a doubt concerning the _reality_ of what had passed
in his soul. The fury of the oppressor was so restrained, and the
light of divine truth so abode with him, that he continually set to
his seal that God _is love_, and taketh pleasure in the prosperity of
his children. All fear of death and hell was removed from him; neither
had sin any dominion over him. “God (says he) gave me the victory thro’
our Lord Jesus Christ, whose righteousness was imputed to me for the
remission of my sins!”
“Therefore did I know that I was a child of God, _under grace_, because
sin did not reign in my mortal body, that I should obey it in the
desires thereof. If so much as an evil thought was at any time injected,
or the remains of the _old man_ began to stir in me, I had immediate
power to resist and overcome them!
“Tempted indeed I was; but in every temptation there was a way made
for my escape. Whenever the enemy came in upon me as a flood, Jesus
appointed _salvation for walls and bulwarks_ around me. He lifted up a
standard against him, and frustrated all his counsels: for _greater is
he that was in_ me, _than he that is in the world_.
*“I may say in few words, that the kingdom of God was _within me_.
I fed upon marrow and fatness, and with comfort drew water out of
the wells of salvation. Sin, and temptation, and pain fled before the
Lord Jesus, who _dwelt in my heart by faith_. I _walked_ and talked
_with_ God all the day long. Whatsoever I believed to be his will, I
did to the uttermost of my power, with my whole heart. Prayer, reading,
fasting, watching, communicating, and Christian fellowship, were the
joy of my soul. The commandments of God, and his holy laws, were my
delight. I not only rejoiced ever more, but prayed without ceasing, and
in every thing gave thanks, whether I eat or drank, or whatever I did,
it was indeed _in the name of the_ Lord Jesus, _and to the glory of_
God!”