of Jupiter, a mount ouerwhelming his head and whole bodie. His bases
outlayde with armes and legges which the skirts of that mountain left
vncouered. Under this did hee characterise a man desirous to climbe
to the heauen of honour, kept vnder with the mountaine of his princes
command, and yet had hee armes and legges exempted from the suppression
of the mountaine. The word, _Tu mihi criminis author_ (alluding to his
Princes commaund) thou art the occasion of my imputed cowardise. His
horse was trapt in the earthie stringes of tree rootes, which though
their increase was stubbed downe to the grounde, yet were they not
vtterly deaded, but hop'd for an after resurrection. The worde, _Spe
alor_, I hope for a spring. Uppon his shield hee bare a ball striken
downe with a mans hand that it might mount The worde, _Ferior vt
efferar_, I suffer my selfe to bee contemned because I will climbe. The
eighth had all his armour throughout engrayled lyke a crabbed brierie
hawthorne bush, out of which notwithstanding sprung (as a good Childe
of an ill Father) fragraunt Blossomes of delightfull Maye Flowers, that
made (according to the nature of Maye) a most odoriferous smell. In
middest of this his snowie curled top, rounde wrapped together, on the
ascending of his creast sate a solitarie nightingale close encaged with
a thorne at her breast, hauing this mot in her mouth, _Luctus monumenta
manebunt_. At the foote of this bush represented on his bases, lay a
number of blacke swolne Toades gasping for winde, and Summer liu'de
grashoppers gaping after deaw, both which were choakt with excessiue
drouth, and for want of shade. The word, _Nan sine vulnere viresco_, I
spring not without impediments, alluding to the Toades and such lyke,
that earst laye sucking at his rootes, but nowe were turnd out, and
neere choakt with drought His horse was suited in blacke sandie earth
(as adiacent to this bush) which was here and there patched with short
burnt grasse, and as thicke inke dropped with toyling ants & emets
as euer it might crall, who in the full of the summer moone, (ruddie
garnished on his horses forehead) hoorded vp theyr prouision of grain
agaynst winter. The word _Victrix fortuno sapientia_, prouidence
preuents misfortune. On his shield he set forth the picture of death
doing almes deeds to a number of poore desolate children. The word,
_Nemo alius explicate_ No other man takes pittie vpon vs. What his
meaning was heerein I cannot imagine, except death had done him and his
brethren some greate good turne in ridding them of some vntoward parent
or kinsman that woulde haue beene their confusion, for else I cannot see
howe death shoulde haue beene sayde to doe almes deedes, except he
had depriued them sodainly of their liues, to deliuer them out of some
further miserie, which coulde not in anie wise bee because they were yet
liuing.
The ninth was the infant knight, who on his armour had ennameld a poore
young infant, put into a shippe without tackling, masts, furniture, or
any thing. This weather beaten and ill apparelled shippe was shaddowed
on his bases, and the slender compasse of his body set forth the right
picture of an infant The waues wherein the ship was tossed were fretted
on his steads trappings so mouingly, that euer as he offered to bounde
or stirre, they seemed to bounse, and tosse, and sparkle brine out of
theyr hoarie siluer billowes. Theyr mot, _Inopem me copia fecit_, as
much to saie, as the rich praye makes the theefe.
On his shielde hee expressed an olde Goate that made a young tree to
wither onely with biting it. The worde thereto _Primo extinguor in ouo_,
I am frostbitten ere I come out of the blade.
It were here too tedious to manifest all the discontented or amorous
deuises yt were vsed in that turnament. The shieldes onely of some few
I wil touch to make short worke. One bare for his impresse the eies of
yong swallowes comming againe after they were pluckt out, with this mot,
_Et addit et addimit_, your beautie both bereaues and restores my sight.
Another a siren smiling when the sea rageth and ships are ouerwhelmed,
including a cruell woman, that laughs, singes and scornes at her louers
tears, and the tempests of his despaire, the word _Cuncta pereunt_,
all my labor is ill imploid. A third being troubled with a curst, a
trecherous and wanton wanton wife, vsed this similitude. On his shild he
caused to be limmed _Pompeies_ ordinance for paracides, as namely a man
put into a sack with a cocke, a serpent and an ape, interpreting that
his wife was a cocke for her crowing, a serpent for her stinging, and an
ape for her vnconstant wantonnesse, with which ill qualities hee was
so beset, that thereby hee was throwen into a sea of grief. The worde
_Extremum malorum mulier_, The vtmost of euils is a woman. A fourth,
who being a person of suspected religion, was continually hanted with
intelligencers and spies that thought to praie vppon him for that hee
had, he could not deuise which waie to shape them off, but by making
away that he had. To obscure this, hee vsed no other fansie but a number
of blinde flies, whose eies the colde had closed, the word _Aurum reddit
acutissimum_, Gold is the onely phisicke for the eiesight A fifth, whose
mistres was fallen into a consumption, and yet would condiscend to no
treatie of loue, emblazond for his complaint, grapes that witherd for
want of pressing. The dittie to the mot, _Quid regna sine vsu_. I will
rehearse no more, but I haue an hundred other, let this be the vpshot
of these shewes, they were the admirablest that euer Florence yelded. To
particularize their maner of encounter, were to describe the whol art of
tilting. Some had like to haue falle ouer their horse neck and so breake
their neckes in breaking their staues. Others ranne at a buckle in stead
of a button, & peraduenture whetted their spears pointes, idlely gliding
on their enemies sides, but did no other harme. Others ranne a crosse at
theyr aduersaries left elbow, yea, and by your leaue sometimes let not
the lists scape scot-free they were so eager. Others because they
would be sure not to be vnsadled with the shocke, when they came to the
speares vtmost proofe, they threw it ouer the right shoulder, and so
tilted backward, for forwarde they durst not Another had a monstrous
spite at the pommell of his riuals saddle, and thought to haue thrust
his speare twixt his legges without rasing anie skinne, and carried
him cleane awaie on it as a coolestaffe. Another held his speare to
his nose, or his nose to his speare, as though he had ben discharging a
caliuer, and ranne at the right foote of his fellowes stead. Onely the
earle of Surry my master obserued y true measures of honor, and made all
his encounterers new scoure their armor in the dust. So great was his
glorie y daie, as _Geraldine_ was therby etemally glorifide. Neuersuch
a bountifull master came amongst the heralds (not that he did inrich the
with anie plentifull purse largesse) but that by his sterne assaultes
hee tithed them more rich offals of bases, of helmets, of armour, than
the rent of their offices came to in ten yeres before. What would you
haue more, the trumpets proclaimed him master of the field, the trumpets
proclaimed _Geraldine_ the exceptionlesse fayrest of women. Euerie one
striued to magnifie him more than other. The Duke of Florence, whose
name (as my memorie serueth me) was _Paschal de Medices_, offered him
such large proffers to staie with him as it were vncredible to report
He would not, his desire was as hee had done in Florence, so to proceede
throughout all the chiefe cities in Italy. If you aske why he began not
this at Venice first. It was because he would let Florence his mistres
natiue citie haue the maidenhead of his chiualrie. As hee came backe
againe hee thought to haue enacted something there worthie the Annals
of posteritie, but he was debard both of that and all his other
determinations, for continuing in feasting and banketting with the Duke
of Florence and the Princes of Italy there assembled, posthast letters
came to him from the king his master, to returne as speedily as he could
possible into England, wherby his fame was quite cut off by the shins,
and there was no repriue but _Bazelus manus_, hee must into England, and
I with my curtizan trauelled forward in Italy.
What aduentures happened him after we parted, I am ignorant, but
Florence we both forsooke, and I hauing a wonderful ardent inclination
to see Rome the Queen of the world, & metrapolitane mistres of all other
cities, made thether with my bag and baggage as fast as I could.
Attained thether, I was lodged at the house of one _Iohannes de Imola_ a
Roman caualiero. Who being acquainted with my curtisans deceased doting
husband, for his sake vsd vs with all the familiaritie that might be. He
shewed vs all the monuments that were to be seene, which are as many
as ther haue beene Emperours, Consuls, Orators, Conquerours, famous
painters or plaiers in Rome. Till this daie not a Romane (if he be a
right Romane in deed) will kill a rat, but he will haue some registred
remembrance of it There was a poore fellowe during my remainder ther,
that for a new trick he had inuented of killing _Cymess_ & scorpions,
had his mountebank banner hung vp on a high piller, with an inscription
about it longer than the king of Spaines stile. I thought these
_Cymesses_ like the Cimbrians had bene some strange nation hee had
brought vnder, & they were no more but things like sheepelice, which
aliue haue the venomost sting that may be, and being dead do stinke out
of measure. Saint Austen compareth heretiques vnto them. The chiefest
thing that my eyes delighted in, was the church of the 7. Sibels, which
is a most miraculous thing. All their prophesies and oracles being there
enroulde, as also the beginning and ending of their whole catalogue of
the heathen Gods, with their manner of worship. There are a number of
other shrines and statues also dedicated to their Emperors, and withal
some statues of idolatrie reserued for detestation. I was at _Pontius
Pilates_ house and pist against it There is the prison yet packt vp
together (an old rotten thing) where the man that was condemned to
death, and could haue no bodie come to him and succour him but was
searcht, was kept aliue a long space by sucking his daughters breasts.
These are but the shop dust of the sights that I saw, and in truth I dyd
not beholde with anie care hereafter to report, but contented my eie for
the present, and so let them passe. Should I memorize halfe the myracles
which they there tolde me had beene done about martyres tombes, or the
operations of the earth of the sepulchre, and other reliques brought
from Jerusalem, I should bee counted the monstrous Her that euer came in
print.
The mines of _Pompeies_ theater, reputed one of the nine wonders of the
worlde, _Gregory_ the sixths Tombe, _Priscillas_ Grate, or the thousands
of Piliers arreared amongst the raced foundations of old _Rome_, it were
heere friuolous to specifie: since he that hath but once drunke with
a traueller talkes of them. Let mee bee a Historiographer of my owne
misfortunes, and not meddle with the continued Trophees of so olde a
triumphing Citie.
At my first comming to _Rome_, I being a youth of the English cut, ware
my haire long, went apparailed in light coulours, and imitated foure or
fiue sundrie Nations in my attyre at once: which no sooner was noated,
but I had all the boyes of the Citie in a swarme wondering about mee. I
had not gone a little farther, but certaine Officers crost the waie of
me, and demanded to see my rapier: which when they found (as also my
dagger) with his poynt vnblunted, they would haue hal'd me headlong to
the Strappado, but that with money I appeased them: and my fault was
more pardonable in that I was a stranger, altogether ignorant of their
customes.
Note by the waye, that it is the vse in _Rome_, for all men whatsoeuer
to weafe their haire short: which they doo not so much for conscience
sake, or anie religion they place in it, but because the extremitie of
the heate is such there, that if they should not doo so, they should not
haue a haire left on their heads to stand vpright, when they were scard
with sprights. And hee is counted no Gentleman amongst them that goes
not in black: they dresse their iesters and fooles onely in fresh
colours, and say variable garments doo argue vnstayednes and
vnconstancie of affections.
The reason of their straight ordinaunce of carrying weapons without
points is this. The _Bandettos_ which are certaine outlawes that lye
betwixt _Rome & Naples_, and besiege the passage that none can trauell
that way without robbing: Now and then hired for some few crownes, they
wil steale to Rome and doe a murther, and betake them to their heeles
againe. Disguised as they go, they are not knowen from strangers,
sometimes they will shroude themselues vnder the habite of graue
citizens. In this consideration neither citizen nor stranger, gentleman,
knight, marques, or any may weare anie weapon endamageable vppon paine
of the strappado. I bought it out, let others buy experience of me
better cheape.
To tell you of the rare pleasures of their gardens, theyr baths, their
vineyards, their galleries, were to write a second part of the gorgeous
Gallerie of gallant deuices. Why, you should not come into anie mans
house of account, but hee had fishponds and litle orchards on the top of
his leads. If by rain or anie other meanes those ponds were so full they
need to bee fluste or let out, euen of their superfluities they made
melodious vse, for they had great winde instruments in stead of leaden
spoutes, that went duely in consort, onely with this waters rumbling
discent I saw a summer banketting house belonging to a marchant, that
was the meruaile of the worlde, & could not be matcht except God should
make another paradise. It was builte rounde of greene marble, like a
Theater without, within there was a heauen and earth comprehended both
vnder one roofe, the heauen was a cleere ouerhanging vault of christall,
wherein the Sunne and Moone, and each visible Starre had his true
similitude, shine, scituation, and motion, and by what enwrapped arte
I cannot conceiue, these spheares in their proper orbes obserued
their circular wheelings and turnings, making a certaine kinde of soft
angelical murmering musicke in their often windings & going about, which
musick the philosophers say in the true heauen by reason of the grosenes
of our senses we are not capable of. For the earth it was counterfeited
in that likenes that Adam lorded out it before his fall. A wide vast
spacious roome it was, such as we would conceit prince Arthurs hall to
be, where he feasted all his knightes of the round table together euerie
penticost The floore was painted with y beautifullest floures that euer
mans eie admired, which so lineally wer delineated, that he that viewd
them a farre off, and had not directly stood poaringly ouer them, would
haue sworne they had liued in deede. The wals round about were hedgde
with Oliues and palme trees, and all other odoriferous fruit-bearing
plants, which at anie solemne intertainment dropt mirrhe and
frankensence. Other trees y bare no fruit, were set in iust order one
against another, and diuided the roome into a number of shadie lanes,
leauing but one ouer-spreading pine tree arbour, where wee sate and
banketted. On the well clothed boughes of this conspiracie of pine
trees against the resembled Sunne beames, were pearcht as many sortes
of shrill breasted birdes, as the Summer hath allowed for singing men
in her siluane chappels. Who though there were bodies without soules,
& sweete resembled substances without sense, yet by the mathemeticall
experimentes of long siluer pipes secretly inrinded in the intrailes of
the boughs whereon they sate, and vndiscerneablie conuaid vnder their
bellies into their small throats sloaping, they whistled and freely
carold theyr naturall field note. Neyther went those siluer pipes
straight, but by many edged vnsundred writhings, & crankled wandrings
aside strayed from bough to bough into an hundred throates. But into
this siluer pipe so writhed and wandering aside, if anie demand how the
wind was breathed. Forsoth ye tail of the siluer pipe stretcht it
selfe into the mouth of a great paire of bellowes, where it was close
soldered, and bailde about with yron, it coulde not stirre or haue
anie vent betwixt. Those bellowes with the rising and falling of leaden
plummets wounde vp on a wheele, dyd beate vp and downe vncessantly, and
so gathered in wind, seruing with one blast all the snarled pipes to
and fro of one tree at once. But so closely were all those organizing
implements obscured in the corpulent trunks of the trees, that euerie
man there present renounst coniectures of art, and sayd it was done by
inchantment.
One tree for his fruit bare nothing but inchained chiriping birdes,
whose throates beeing conduit pipt with squared narrow shels, & charged
siring-wise with searching sweet water, driuen in by a little wheele for
the nonce, and fed it afarre of, made a spirting sound, such as chirping
is, in bubling vpwards through the rough crannies of their closed bils.
Under tuition of the shade of euerie tree that I haue signified to be in
this round hedge, on delightfull leauie cloysters, lay a wylde tyrannous
beast asleepe all prostrate: vnder some two together, as the Dogge
nusling his nose vnder the necks of the Deare, the Wolfe glad to let the
Lambe lye vpon hym to keepe him warme, the Lyon suffering the Asse to
cast hys legge ouer him: preferring one honest vnmannerly frend, before
a number of croutching picke-thankes. No poysonous beast there reposed,
(poyson was not before our parent _Adam_ transgressed). There were no
sweete-breathing Panthers, that would hyde their terrifying heads to
betraye: no men imitating _Hyonaes_. that chaunged their sexe to seeke
after bloud. Wolues as now when they are hungrie eate earth, so then
did they feede on earth onely, and abstained from innocent flesh. The
Unicorne did not put his home into the streame to chase away venome
before he drunke, for there was no such thing as venome extant in the
water or on the earth. Serpents were as harmlesse to mankinde, as
they are still one to another: the rose had no cankers, the leaues no
caterpillers, the sea no _Syrens_, the earth no vsurers. Goates then
bare wooll, as it is recorded in _Sicily_ they doo yet. The torride
Zone was habitable; onely Jayes loued to steale gold and siluer to build
their nests withall, and none cared for couetous clientrie, or running
to the Indies. As the Elephant vnderstands his countrey speach, so
euerie beast vnderstood what men spoke. The ant did not hoord vp against
winter, for there was no winter but a perpetuall spring, as _Ouid_
sayth. No frosts to make the greene almond tree counted rash and
improuident, in budding soonest of all other: or the mulberie tree a
strange polititian, in blooming late and ripening early. The peach tree
at the first planting was frutefull and wholesome, wheras now til it be
transplanted, it is poysonous and hatefull. Yong plants for their sap
had balme, for their yeolow gumme glistering amber. The euening deawd
not water on flowers, but honnie. Such a golden age, such a good age,
such an honest age was set foorth in this banquetting house.
O _Rome_, if thou hast in thee such soule-exalting obiects: what a
thing is heauen in comparison of thee, of which _Mercators_ globe is a
perfecter modell than thou art? Yet this I must say to the shame of vs
Protestants, if good workes may merit heauen, they doo them, we talke of
them. Whether superstition or no makes the vnprofitable seruants,
that let pulpets decide: but there, you shall haue the brauest Ladies in
gownes of beaten gold, washing pilgrimes and poore souldiours feete
and dooing nothing they and their wayting mayds all the yeare long, but
making shirts and bandes for them against they come by in distresse.
Their hospitalls are more like noblemens houses than otherwise: so
richly furnished, cleane kept, and hot perfumed, that a souldiour would
thinke it a sufficient recompence for his trauell and his wounds, to
haue such a heauenly retyring place. For the Pope and his pontificalibus
I will not deale with, onely I will dilate vnto you what hapned whiles I
was in _Rome_.
So it fell out, that it being a vehement hot summer when I was a
soiourner there, there entred such a hotspurd plague as hath not been
heard of: why it was but a word and a blow, Lord haue mercie vpon vs,
and he was gone. Within three quarters of a yere in that one citie there
dyed of it a hundred thousand: Looke in _Lanquets_ Chronicle and you
shall finde it. To smell of a nosegay, that was poysond: and turne your
nose to a house, that had the plague, it was all one. The clouds like
a number of cormorants, that keepe their corne till it stinke and is
mustie, kept in their stinking exhalations, till they had almost stifled
all _Romes_ inhabitants. Phisitions, greedines of golde made them
greedie of their destinie. They would come to visite those, with whose
infirmities their arte had no affinitie: and euen as a man with a fee
should bee hyred to hang himselfe, so would they quietly goe home and
dye presently after they had been with their patients. All day and all
night long carremen did nothing but goe vp and downe the streetes with
their carts and crye, Haue you anie dead to burie, haue you anie dead
to burie: and had manie times out of one house their whole loading: one
graue was the sepulcher of seuenscore, one bed was the altar whereon
whole families were offered.
The wals were hoard and furd with the moist scorching steam of their
desolation. Euen as before a gun is shot off, a stinking smoake funnels
out, and prepares the waie for him, so before anie gaue vp the ghost,
death araied in a stinking smoke stopt his nostrils, and cramd it selfe
full into his mouth, that closed vp his fellowes eyes, to giue him
warning to prepare for his funeral. Some dide sitting at their meate,
others as they were asking counsell of the phisition for their friendes.
I saw at the house where I was hosted, a maide bring her master warme
broth for to comfort him, and she sinke downe dead her self ere he had
halfe eate it vp.