HOTCHKISS. It was I, Polly, your ever faithful.
MRS GEORGE [turning and seeing him] Let me catch you doing it
again: thats all. How do you come there? I sent you away. [With
great energy, becoming quite herself again] What the goodness
gracious has been happening?
HOTCHKISS. As far as I can make out, you have been having a very
charming and eloquent sort of fit.
MRS GEORGE [delighted] What! My second sight! [To the Bishop] Oh,
how I have prayed that it might come to me if ever I met you! And
now it has come. How stunning! You may believe every word I said:
I cant remember it now; but it was something that was just
bursting to be said; and so it laid hold of me and said itself.
Thats how it is, you see.
Edith and Cecil Sykes come in through the tower. She has her hat
on. Leo follows. They have evidently been out together. Sykes,
with an unnatural air, half foolish, half rakish, as if he had
lost all his self-respect and were determined not to let it prey
on his spirits, throws himself into a chair at the end of the
table near the hearth and thrusts his hands into his pockets,
like Hogarth's Rake, without waiting for Edith to sit down. She
sits in the railed chair. Leo takes the chair nearest the tower
on the long side of the table, brooding, with closed lips.
THE BISHOP. Have you been out, my dear?
EDITH. Yes.
THE BISHOP. With Cecil?
EDITH. Yes.
THE BISHOP. Have you come to an understanding?
No reply. Blank silence.
SYKES. You had better tell them, Edie.
EDITH. Tell them yourself.
The General comes in from the garden.
THE GENERAL [coming forward to the table] Can anybody oblige me
with some tobacco? Ive finished mine; and my nerves are still far
from settled.
THE BISHOP. Wait a moment, Boxer. Cecil has something important
to tell us.
SYKES. Weve done it. Thats all.
HOTCHKISS. Done what, Cecil?
SYKES. Well, what do you suppose?
EDITH. Got married, of course.
THE GENERAL. Married! Who gave you away?
SYKES [jerking his head towards the tower] This gentleman
did.[Seeing that they do not understand, he looks round and sees
that there is no one there]. Oh! I thought he came in with us.
Hes gone downstairs, I suppose. The Beadle.
THE GENERAL. The Beadle! What the devil did he do that for?
SYKES. Oh, I dont know: I didnt make any bargain with him. [To
Mrs George] How much ought I to give him, Mrs Collins?
MRS GEORGE. Five shillings. [To the Bishop] I want to rest for a
moment: there! in your study. I saw it here [she touches her
forehead].
THE BISHOP [opening the study door for her] By all means. Turn my
brother out if he disturbs you. Soames: bring the letters out
here.
SYKES. He wont be offended at my offering it, will he?
MRS GEORGE. Not he! He touches children with the mace to cure
them of ringworm for fourpence apiece. [She goes into the study.
Soames follows her].
THE GENERAL. Well, Edith, I'm a little disappointed, I must
say. However, I'm glad it was done by somebody in a public
uniform.
Mrs Bridgenorth and Lesbia come in through the tower. Mrs
Bridgenorth makes for the Bishop. He goes to her, and they meet
near the oak chest. Lesbia comes between Sykes and Edith.
THE BISHOP. Alice, my love, theyre married.
MRS BRIDGENORTH [placidly] Oh, well, thats all right. Better tell
Collins.
Soames comes back from the study with his writing materials. He
seats himself at the nearest end of the table and goes on with
his work. Hotchkiss sits down in the next chair round the table
corner, with his back to him.
LESBIA. You have both given in, have you?
EDITH. Not at all. We have provided for everything.
SOAMES. How?
EDITH. Before going to the church, we went to the office of that
insurance company--whats its name, Cecil?
SYKES. The British Family Insurance Corporation. It insures you
against poor relations and all sorts of family contingencies.
EDITH. It has consented to insure Cecil against libel actions
brought against him on my account. It will give us specially low
terms because I am a Bishop's daughter.
SYKES. And I have given Edie my solemn word that if I ever commit
a crime I'll knock her down before a witness and go off to
Brighton with another lady.
LESBIA. Thats what you call providing for everything! [She goes
to the middle of the table on the garden side and sits down].
LEO. Do make him see there are no worms before he knocks you
down, Edith. Wheres Rejjy?
REGINALD [coming in from the study] Here. Whats the matter?
LEO [springing up and flouncing round to him] Whats the matter!
You may well ask. While Edie and Cecil were at the insurance
office I took a taxy and went off to your lodgings; and a nice
mess I found everything in. Your clothes are in a disgraceful
state. Your liver pad has been made into a kettle-holder. Youre
no more fit to be left to yourself than a one-year old baby.
REGINALD. Oh, I cant be bothered looking after things like that.
I'm all right.
LEO. Youre not: youre a disgrace. You never consider that youre a
disgrace to me: you think only of yourself. You must come home
with me and be taken proper care of: my conscience will not allow
me to let you live like a pig. [She arranges his necktie]. You
must stay with me until I marry St John; and then we can adopt
you or something.
REGINALD [breaking loose from her and stumping off past Hotchkiss
towards the hearth] No, I'm dashed if I'll be adopted by St John.
You can adopt him if you like.
HOTCHKISS [rising] I suggest that that would really be the better
plan, Leo. Ive a confession to make to you. I'm not the man you
took me for. Your objection to Rejjy was that he had low tastes.
REGINALD [turning] Was it? by George!
LEO. I said slovenly habits. I never thought he had really low
tastes until I saw that woman in court. How he could have chosen
such a creature and let her write to him after--