it. And that was eighteen or twenty years ago almost.
COUNT
Her wanting to join the Ursuline Sisters rather than marry that nice
young fellow, to whom she was as good as engaged already--and then up
and away from home all at once--you might call that morbid, don't you
think?
PRINCE
What has put you in mind of that ancient story to-day?
COUNT
Ancient, you say? I feel as if it happened last year only. It was at
the very time when my own affair with Lolo had just begun. Ah, harking
back like that...! And if anybody had foretold me at the time...! You
know, it really began like any ordinary adventure. In the same
reckless, crazy way. Yes, crazy--that's it. Not that I want to make
myself out worse than I am, but it was lucky for all of us that my poor
wife had already been dead a couple of years. Lolo seemed ... my fate.
Mistress and wife at the same time. Because she's such a wonderful
cook, you know. And the way she makes you comfortable. And always in
good humor--never a cross word.... Well, it's all over. Don't let us
talk of it.... (_Pause_) Tell me, won't you stay for lunch? And I must
call Mizzie.
PRINCE (_checking him_)
Wait--I have something to tell you. (_Casually, almost facetiously_) I
want you to be prepared.
COUNT
Why? For what?
PRINCE
There is a young man coming here to be introduced.
COUNT (_astonished_)
What? A young man?
PRINCE
If you have no objection.
COUNT
Why should I object? But who is he?
PRINCE
Dear Arpad--he's my son.
COUNT (_greatly surprised_)
What?
PRINCE
Yes, my son. You see, I didn't want--as I'm going away....
COUNT
Your son? You've got a son?
PRINCE
I have.
COUNT
Well, did you ever...! You have got a young man who is your son--or
rather, you have got a son who is a young man. How old?
PRINCE
Seventeen.
COUNT
Seventeen! And you haven't told me before! No, Egon ... Egon! And tell
me ... seventeen...? My dear chap, then your wife was still alive....
PRINCE
Yes, my wife was still alive at the time. You see, Arpad, one gets
mixed up in all sorts of strange affairs.
COUNT
'Pon my soul, so it seems!
PRINCE
And thus, one fine day, you find yourself having a son of seventeen
with whom you go traveling.
COUNT
So it's with him you are going away?
PRINCE
I am taking that liberty.
COUNT
No, I couldn't possibly tell you.... Why, he has got a son of
seventeen!... (_Suddenly he grasps the hand of the Prince, and then
puts his arms about him_) And if I may ask ... the mother of that young
gentleman, your son ... how it happens ... as you have started telling
me....
PRINCE
She's dead long ago. Died a couple of weeks after he was born. A mere
slip of a girl.
COUNT
Of the common people?
PRINCE
Oh, of course. But a charming creature. I may as well tell you
everything about it. That is, as far as I can recall it myself. The
whole story seems like a dream. And if it were not for the boy....
COUNT
And all that you tell me only now! To-day only--just before the boy is
coming here!
PRINCE
You never can tell how a thing like that may be received.
COUNT
Tut, tut! Received, you say...? Did you believe perhaps ... I'm
something of a philosopher myself, after all.... And you call yourself
a friend of mine!
PRINCE
Not a soul has known it--not a single soul in the whole world.
COUNT
But you might have told me. Really, I don't see how you could.... Come
now, it wasn't quite nice.
PRINCE
I wanted to wait and see how the boy developed. You never can tell....
COUNT
Of course, with a mixed pedigree like that.... But you seem reassured
now?
PRINCE
Oh, yes, he's a fine fellow.
COUNT (_embracing him again_)
And where has he been living until now?
PRINCE
His earliest years were spent a good way from Vienna--in the Tirol.
COUNT
With peasants?
PRINCE
No, with a small landowner. Then he went to school for some time at
Innsbruck. And during the last few years I have been sending him to the
preparatory school at Krems.[4]
[4] Innsbruck is the capital of the province of Tirol. Krems
is a small city on the Donau, not so very far from Vienna,
having a fine high school or "gymnasium." The idea is, of
course, that as the boy grew up, his father became more and
more interested and wanted to have him within easier reach.
COUNT
And you have seen him frequently?
PRINCE
Of course.
COUNT
And what's _his_ idea of it anyhow?
PRINCE
Up to a few days ago he thought that he had lost both his parents--his
father as well--and that I was a friend of his dead father.
MIZZIE (_appearing on the balcony_)
Good morning, Prince Egon.
PRINCE
Good morning, Mizzie.
COUNT
Well, won't you come down a while?
MIZZIE
Oh, if I am not in the way.... (_She disappears_)
COUNT
And what are we going to say to Mizzie?
PRINCE
I prefer to leave that to you, of course. But as I am adopting the boy
anyhow, and as a special decree by His Majesty will probably enable him
to assume my name in a few days ...
COUNT (_surprised_)
What?
PRINCE
... I think it would be wiser to tell Mizzie the truth at once.
COUNT
Certainly, certainly--and why shouldn't we? Seeing that you are
adopting him.... It's really funny--but, you see, a daughter, even when
she gets to be an old maid, is nothing but a little girl to her father.
MIZZIE (_appears; she is thirty-seven, but still very attractive; wears
a Florentine straw hat and a white dress; she gives the Count a kiss
before holding out her hand to the Prince_) Well, how do you do, Prince
Egon? We don't see much of you these days.
PRINCE
Thank you.--Have you been very industrious?
MIZZIE
Painting a few flowers.
COUNT
Why so modest, Mizzie? (_To the Prince_) Professor Windhofer told her
recently that she could safely exhibit. Won't have to fear comparison
with Mrs. Wisinger-Florian herself.[5]
[5] "Neben der Wiesinger-Florian." The name is slightly
misspelt in the German text. It is that of Mrs. Olga
Wisinger-Florian, a well-known Viennese painter of floral
pieces, whose work is represented in many of the big galleries
in Europe. She was born in 1844, made her name in the early
eighties, and is still living.
MIZZIE
That's so, perhaps. But I have no ambition of that kind.
PRINCE
I'm rather against exhibiting, too. It puts you at the mercy of any
newspaper scribbler.
MIZZIE
Well, how about the members of the Upper House--at least when they make
speeches?
COUNT
And how about all of us? Is there anything into which they don't poke
their noses?
PRINCE
Yes, thanks to prevailing tendencies, there are people who would
blackguard your pictures merely because you happen to be a countess,
Mizzie.
COUNT
Yes, you're right indeed.
VALET (_entering_)
Your Grace is wanted on the telephone.
COUNT
Who is it? What is it about?
VALET
There is somebody who wishes to speak to Your Grace personally.
COUNT
You'll have to excuse me a moment. (_To the Prince, in a lowered
voice_) Tell her now--while I am away. I prefer it. (_He goes out
followed by the valet_)
MIZZIE
Somebody on the telephone--do you think papa can have fallen into new
bondage already? (_She seats herself_)
PRINCE
Into _new_ bondage, you say?
MIZZIE
Lolo used always to telephone about this time. But it's all over with
her now. You know it, don't you?
PRINCE
I just heard it.
MIZZIE
And what do you think of it, Prince Egon. I am rather sorry, to tell
the truth. If he tries anything new now, I'm sure he'll burn his
fingers. And I do fear there is something in the air. You see, he's
still too young for his years.
PRINCE
Yes, that's so.
MIZZIE (_turning so that she faces the Prince_)
And by the way, you haven't been here for ever so long.
PRINCE
You haven't missed me very much ... I fear.... Your art ... and heaven
knows what else....
MIZZIE (_without affectation_)
Nevertheless....
PRINCE
Awfully kind of you.... (_Pause_)
MIZZIE
What makes you speechless to-day? Tell me something. Isn't there
anything new in the world at all?
PRINCE (_as if he had thought of it only that moment_)
Our son has just passed his examinations for the university.
MIZZIE (_slightly perturbed_)
I hope you have more interesting news to relate.
PRINCE
More interesting....
MIZZIE
Or news, at least, that concerns me more closely than the career of a
strange young man.
PRINCE
I have felt obliged, however, to keep you informed about the more
important stages in the career of this young man. When he was about to
be confirmed, I took the liberty to report the fact to you. But, of
course, we don't have to talk any more about it.
MIZZIE
He pulled through, I hope?
PRINCE
With honors.
MIZZIE
The stock seems to be improving.
PRINCE
Let us hope so.
MIZZIE
And now the great moment is approaching, I suppose.
PRINCE
What moment?
MIZZIE
Have you forgotten already? As soon as he had passed his examinations,
you meant to reveal yourself as his father.
PRINCE
So I have done already.
MIZZIE
You--have told him already?
PRINCE
I have.
MIZZIE (_after a pause, without looking at him_)
And his mother--is dead...?
PRINCE
She is--so far.
MIZZIE
And forever. (_Rising_)
PRINCE
As you please.
[_The Count enters, followed by the valet._
VALET
But it was Your Grace who said that Joseph could be free.
COUNT
Yes, yes, it's all right.
VALET (_goes out_)
MIZZIE
What's the matter, papa?
COUNT
Nothing, my girl, nothing. I wanted to get somewhere quick--and that
infernal Joseph.... If you don't mind, Mizzie, I want to have a few
words with Egon.... (_To the Prince_) Do you know, she has been trying
to get me before. I mean Lolo. But she couldn't get the number. And now
Laura telephones--oh, well, that's her maid, you know--that she has
just started on her way here.
PRINCE
Here? To see you?
COUNT
Yes.
PRINCE
But why?
COUNT
Oh, I think I can guess. You see, she has never put her foot in this
place, of course, and I have been promising her all the time that she
could come here once to have a look at the house and the park before
she married. Her standing grievance has always been that I couldn't
receive her here. On account of Mizzie, you know. Which she has
understood perfectly well. And to sneak her in here some time when
Mizzie was not at home--well, for that kind of thing I have never had
any taste. And so she sends me a telephone message, that the marriage
is set for the day after to-morrow, and that she is on her way here
now.
PRINCE
Well, what of it? She is not coming here as your mistress, and so I
can't see that you have any reason for embarrassment.
COUNT
But to-day of all days--and with your son due at any moment.
PRINCE
You can leave him to me.
COUNT
But I don't want it. I'm going to meet the carriage and see if I can
stop her. It makes me nervous. You'll have to ask your son to excuse me
for a little while. Good-by, Mizzie. I'll be back right away. (_He goes
out_)
PRINCE
Miss Lolo has sent word that she's coming to call, and your papa
doesn't like it.
MIZZIE
What's that? Has Lolo sent word? Is she coming here?
PRINCE
Your father has been promising her a chance to look over the place
before she was married. And now he has gone to meet the carriage in
order to steer her off.
MIZZIE
How childish! And how pathetic, when you come to think of it! I should
really like to make her acquaintance. Don't you think it's too silly?
There is my father, spending half his lifetime with a person who is
probably very attractive--and I don't get a chance--don't have the
right--to shake hands with her even. Why does he object to it anyhow?
He ought to understand that I know all about it.
PRINCE
Oh, heavens, that's the way he is made. And perhaps he might not have
minded so much, if he were not expecting another visit at this very
moment....
MIZZIE
Another visit, you say?
PRINCE
For which I took the liberty to prepare him.
MIZZIE
Who is it?
PRINCE
Our son.
MIZZIE
Are you ... bringing your son here?
PRINCE
He'll be here in half an hour at the most.
MIZZIE
I say, Prince ... this is not a joke you're trying to spring on me?
PRINCE
By no means. On a departed ... what an idea!
MIZZIE
Is it really true? He's coming here?
PRINCE
Yes.
MIZZIE
Apparently you still think that nothing but a whim keeps me from having
anything to do with the boy?
PRINCE
A whim...? No. Seeing how consistent you have been in this matter, it
would hardly be safe for me to call it that. And when I bear in mind
how you have had the strength all these years not even to ask any
questions about him....
MIZZIE
There has been nothing admirable about that. I have had the strength to
do what was worse ... when I had to let him be taken away ... a week
after he was born....
PRINCE
Yes, what else could you--could we have done at the time? The
arrangements made by me at the time, and approved by you in the end,
represented absolutely the most expedient thing we could do under the
circumstances.
MIZZIE
I have never questioned their expediency.
PRINCE
It was more than expedient, Mizzie. More than our own fate was at
stake. Others might have come to grief if the truth had been revealed
at the time. My wife, with her weak heart, had probably never survived.
MIZZIE
Oh, that weak heart....
PRINCE
And your father, Mizzie.... Think of your father!
MIZZIE
You may be sure he would have accepted the inevitable. That was the
very time when he began his affair with Lolo. Otherwise everything
might not have come off so smoothly. Otherwise he might have been more
concerned about me. I could never have stayed away several months if he
hadn't found it very convenient at that particular moment. And there
was only one danger connected with the whole story--that you might be
shot dead by Fedor Wangenheim, my dear Prince.
PRINCE
Why I by him? It might have taken another turn. You are not a believer
in judgment by ordeal, are you? And the outcome might have proved
questionable from such a point of view even. You see, we poor mortals
can never be sure how things of that kind are regarded up above.
MIZZIE
You would never talk like that in the Upper House--supposing you ever
opened your mouth during one of its sessions.
PRINCE
Possibly not. But the fundamental thing remains, that no amount of
honesty or daring could have availed in the least at the time. It would
have been nothing but useless cruelty toward those nearest to us. It's
doubtful whether a dispensation could have been obtained--and besides,
the Princess would never have agreed to a divorce--which you know as
well as I do.
MIZZIE
Just as if I had cared in the least for the ceremony...!
PRINCE
Oh....
MIZZIE
Not in the least. Is that new to you? Didn't I tell you so at the time?
Oh, you'll never guess what might ... (_her words emphasized by her
glance_) what I ... of what I might have been capable at that time. I
would have followed you anywhere--everywhere--even as your mistress. I
and the child. To Switzerland, to America. After all, we could have
lived wherever it happened to suit us. And perhaps, if you had gone
away, they might never even have noticed your absence in the Upper
House.
PRINCE
Yes, of course, we might have run away and settled down somewhere
abroad.... But do you still believe that a situation like that would
have proved agreeable in the long run, or even bearable?
MIZZIE
No, I don't nowadays. Because, you see, I know you now. But at that
time I was in love with you. And it is possible that I--might have gone
on loving you for a long time, had you not proved too _cowardly_ to
assume the responsibility for what had happened.... Yes, too much of a
coward, Prince Egon.
PRINCE
Whether that be the proper word....
MIZZIE
Well, I don't know of any other. There was no hesitation on my part. I
was ready to face everything--with joy and pride. I was ready to be a
mother, and to confess myself the mother of our child. And you knew it,
Egon. I told you so seventeen years ago, in that little house in the
woods where you kept me hidden. But half-measures have never appealed
to me. I wanted to be a mother in every respect or not at all. The day
I had to let the boy be taken away from me, I made up my mind never
more to trouble myself about him. And for that reason I find it
ridiculous of you to bring him here all of a sudden. If you'll allow me
to give you a piece of good advice, you'll go and meet him, as papa has
gone to meet Lolo--and take him back home again.
PRINCE
I wouldn't dream of doing so. After what I have just had to hear from
you again, it seems settled that his mother must remain dead. And that
means that I must take still better care of him. He is my son in the
eyes of the world too. I have adopted him.
MIZZIE
Have you...?
PRINCE
To-morrow he will probably be able to assume my name. I shall introduce
him wherever it suits me. And of course, first of all to my old
friend--your father. If you should find the sight of him disagreeable,
there will be nothing left for you but to stay in your room while he is
here.
MIZZIE
If you believe that I think your tone very appropriate....
PRINCE
Oh, just as appropriate as your bad temper.
MIZZIE
My bad temper...? Do I look it? Really, if you please ... I have simply
permitted myself to find this fancy of yours in rather poor taste.
Otherwise my temper is just as good as ever.
PRINCE
I have no doubt of your good humor under ordinary circumstances.... I
am perfectly aware, for that matter, that you have managed to become
reconciled to your fate. I, too, have managed to submit to a fate
which, in its own way, has been no less painful than yours.
MIZZIE
In what way? To what fate have you had to submit...? Everybody can't
become a cabinet minister. Oh, I see ... that remark must refer to the
fact that His Highness did me the honor ten years ago, after the
blissful departure of his noble spouse, to apply for my hand.
PRINCE
And again seven years ago, if you'll be kind enough to remember.
MIZZIE
Oh, yes, I do remember. Nor have I ever given you any cause to question
my good memory.
PRINCE
And I hope you have never ascribed my proposals to anything like a
desire to expiate some kind of guilt. I asked you to become my wife
simply because of my conviction that true happiness was to be found
only by your side.
MIZZIE
True happiness!... Oh, what a mistake!
PRINCE
Yes, I do believe that it was a mistake at that moment. Ten years ago
it was probably still too early. And so it was, perhaps, seven years
ago. But not to-day.
MIZZIE
Yes, to-day too, my dear Prince. Your fate has been never to know me,
never to understand me at all--no more when I loved you than when I
hated you, and not even during the long time when I have been
completely indifferent toward you.
PRINCE
I have always known you, Mizzie. I know more about you than you seem
able to guess. Thus, for instance, I am not unfamiliar with the fact
that you have spent the last seventeen years in more profitable
pursuits than weeping over a man who, in all likelihood, was not worthy
of you at the time in question. I am even aware that you have chosen to
expose yourself to several disillusionments subsequent to the one
suffered at my hands.
MIZZIE
Disillusionments, you say? Well, for your consolation, my dear Prince,
I can assure you that some of them proved very enjoyable.
PRINCE
I know that, too. Otherwise I should hardly have dared to call myself
familiar with the history of your life.
MIZZIE
And do you think that I am not familiar with yours? Do you want me to
present you with a list of your mistresses? From the wife of the
Bulgarian attache in 1887 down to Mademoiselle Therese Gredun--if that
be her real name--who retained the honors of her office up to last
Spring at least. It seems likely that I know more than you even, for I
can give you a practically complete list of those with whom she has
deceived you.
PRINCE
Oh, don't, if you please. There is no real pleasure in knowledge of
that kind when you don't uncover it yourself.
[_A carriage is heard stopping in front of the house._
PRINCE
That's he. Do you want to disappear before he comes out here? I can
detain him that long.
MIZZIE
Don't trouble yourself, please. I prefer to stay. But don't imagine
that there is anything astir within me.... This is nothing but a young
man coming to call on my father. There he is now.... As to blood being
thicker than water--I think it's nothing but a fairy tale. I can't feel
anything at all, my dear Prince.
PHILIP (_comes quickly through the main entrance; he is seventeen,
slender, handsome, elegant, but not foppish; shows a charming, though
somewhat boyish, forwardness, not quite free from embarrassment_) Good
morning. (_He bows to Mizzie_)
PRINCE
Good morning, Philip.--Countess, will you permit me to introduce my
son? This is Countess Mizzie, daughter of the old friend of mine in
whose house you are now.
PHILIP (_kisses the hand offered him by Mizzie; brief pause_)
MIZZIE
Won't you be seated, please?
PHILIP
Thank you. Countess. (_All remain standing_)
PRINCE
You came in the carriage? Might just as well send it back, as mine is
here already.
PHILIP
Won't you come back with me instead, papa? You see, I think Wasner does
a great deal better than your Franz with his team of ancients.
MIZZIE
So Wasner has been driving you?
PHILIP
Yes.
MIZZIE
The old man himself? Do you know that's a great honor? Wasner won't
take the box for everybody. Up to about two years ago he used to drive
my father.
PHILIP
Oh....
PRINCE
You're a little late, by the way, Philip.
PHILIP
Yes, I have to beg your pardon. Overslept, you know. (_To Mizzie_) I
was out with some of my colleagues last night. You may have heard that
I passed my examinations a couple of weeks ago, Countess. That's why we
rather made a night of it.[6]
[6] "... Ein bissel gedraht." The term is specifically
Viennese and implies not only "making a night of it," but also
making the contents of that night as varied as the resources
of the locality will permit.
MIZZIE
You seem to have caught on to our Viennese ways pretty quickly,
Mister....
PRINCE
Oh, dear Mizzie, call him Philip, please.
MIZZIE
But I think we must sit down first of all, Philip. (_With a glance at
the Prince_) Papa should be here any moment now. (_She and the Prince
sit down_)
PHILIP (_still standing_)
If you permit me to say so--I think the park is magnificent. It is much
finer than ours.
MIZZIE
You are familiar with the Ravenstein park?
PHILIP
Certainly, Countess. I have been living at Ravenstein House three days
already.
MIZZIE
Is that so?
PRINCE
Of course, gardens cannot do as well in the city as out here. Ours was
probably a great deal more beautiful a hundred years ago. But then our
place was still practically outside the city.
PHILIP
It's a pity that all sorts of people have been allowed to run up houses
around our place like that.
MIZZIE
We are better off in that respect. And we shall hardly live to see the
town overtake us.
PHILIP (_affably_)
But why not, Countess?
MIZZIE
A hundred years ago these grounds were still used for hunting. The
place adjoins the Tiergarten, you know. Look over that wall there,
Philip. And our villa was a hunting lodge once, belonging to the
Empress Maria Theresa. The stone figure over there goes back to that
period.
PHILIP
And how old is our place, papa?
PRINCE (_smiling_)
Our place, sonny, dates back to the seventeenth century. Didn't I show
you the room in which Emperor Leopold spent a night?
PHILIP
Emperor Leopold, 1648 to 1705.
MIZZIE (_laughs_)
PHILIP
Oh, that's an echo of the examinations. When I get old enough.... (_He
interrupts himself_) I beg your pardon! What I meant to say was
simply--all that stuff will be out of my head in a year. And, of
course, when I learned those dates, I didn't know Emperor Leopold had
been such a good friend of my own people.
MIZZIE
You seem to think your discovery enormously funny, Philip?
PHILIP
Discovery, you say.... Well, frankly speaking, it could hardly be
called that. (_He looks at the Prince_)
PRINCE
Go on, go on!
PHILIP
Well, you see, Countess, I have always had the feeling that I was no
Philip Radeiner by birth.
MIZZIE
Radeiner? (_To the Prince_) Oh, that was the name...?
PRINCE
Yes.
PHILIP
And, of course, it was very pleasant to find my suspicions
confirmed--but I have really known it all the time. I can put two and
two together. And some of the other boys had also figured out--that
I.... Really, Countess, that story about Prince Ravenstein coming to
Krems merely to see how the son of his late friend was getting
along--don't you think it smacked a little too much of story book ...
Home and Family Library, and that sort of thing? All the clever ones
felt pretty sure that I was of noble blood, and as I was one of the
cleverest....
MIZZIE
So it seems.... And what are your plans for the future, Philip?
PHILIP