good English and in a soft tone of voice.
As many girls fall into book ignorance after graduation she will be
taught that the aim of education is to give good habits of reading along
with book-knowledge--or else the school has failed to educate a colored
girl beautiful.
The colored girl beautiful will not aim for book education alone. She
will select a school which will fit her to grace her home from parlor to
kitchen, a school which has thoroughness for its motto.
She will be taught how to make her dresses and hats, to prepare for the
time when perhaps her allowance for clothes must be divided among
several. Dressmaking is a science as well as an art and enough can be
learned, by those not apt, to save many dollars--especially in the home
that fate favors with children.
She will be taught a trade, or some means of earning a livelihood, that
she may be prepared, if circumstances should force her into the
business arena.
The school of the colored girl beautiful will so educate her that
motherhood will be her highest ideal in life, the glory of colored
womanhood.
The Home of the Colored Girl Beautiful.
The Home of the Colored Girl Beautiful will reflect her. She will help
her parents to buy a home that it may give her family more standing in
the civic community. Taste and simplicity will rule, for the home will
harmonize with the girl. If her parents are not particular about the
trifles in the way of curtains, fences, and yards, then it must be her
special task to make the home represent the beautiful in her, the God,
for all that is beautiful and good comes from God.
Windows generally express the character of the occupants of a house. The
day has passed when soiled or ragged lace curtains are tolerated. The
cheaper simpler scrims and cheese cloths which are easily laundered are
now used by the best people.
The Colored Girl Beautiful, will study the possibilities of her home and
will attempt to secure the restful effects for the eye. Too much
furniture is bad taste. The less one has, the cleaner houses may be
kept.
The ornate heavy furniture and the upholstered parlor sets are passing
away because they are no longer considered good taste, besides they are
too heavy for cleanliness and are harmful to the health of women who do
their own work.
Furniture of less expensive model, with simple lines and of less weight
are being selected. These may be paid for cash instead of "on time," as
has been the custom of many people in smaller towns and in the country
districts.
The furniture sold by the payment houses always shows its source in its
heaviness and shininess.
The wall paper should be selected as one would select a color for
clothes, to harmonize with the color of the skin in all lights, and, for
service Color schemes in decoration are being followed and we have no
more stuffy parlors, often closed for days. Instead we have living
rooms, with cleanable furniture, strong but light, entirely suitable for
winter, and cool in summer. No one has a parlor now-a-days. The best
room is generally a living room for the whole family. No more do we see
enlarged pictures which good taste demands should be placed in bed rooms
and private sitting rooms. The ten cent stores have done a great deal of
good in educating the poor white and black alike. These stores have
every where sold small brown art prints of many of the great paintings,
to take the place of the gaudy dust ladened chromos and family pictures.
Pictures are hung low that they may be thoroughly dusted, as well as to
give a near view of the subject.
Expensive carpets are also things of the past. Painted and stained
floors with light weight rugs are more generally used. These may be
cleaned and handled without giving the backache to women. Many colored
girls boast of having painted their own floors and woodwork. Much of
this has been learned in the boarding school.
A tawdry home expresses its mistress as do her clothes.
Next to the kitchen a fully equipped bath room is now the most important
room in the house. Health and sanitation are the topics of the hour and
a colored girl should know how to put a washer on a faucet as well as
her father or brother.
A house without books is indeed an unfurnished home. Good books are the
fad now. They are everywhere in evidence in the up-to-date colored home.
They are exhibited almost as hand painted china was. In every inventory
or collection one finds a Bible, a dictionary, and an atlas.
The times are changing and the colored people are changing with the
times. Cleanliness and health are the watchwords, and "Order" is
Heaven's first law.
The Colored Working Girl Beautiful.
No one should ever scorn a colored working woman. She has been the bone
and sinew of the race. She has built the churches, helped the schools
and has made the race what it is. The pioneer colored woman in most
instances has helped to make the wealth that many colored families
enjoy, today.
In my travels, on entering Southern towns early in the morning, colored
women are the only women seen on the streets, and sometimes the only
persons. They hurry along often with insufficient clothing in cold and
rain.
One thinks of the little ones at home who dress themselves and perhaps,
younger children, all without a mother's care, until night when the
tired woman's return to her home to cook, to wash and to iron for her
family after a hard day's work, in service.
In the antebellum days some of the Negro working women may have been
lazy but their descendants of today are not lazy--only fifty years
after. Statistics prove how many homes have been bought through their
labor, how many children are sent to school. Working women pay the
family doctor bills, and support the churches and charities.
"Every person should work or else she will need a doctor." Habits affect
looks. If one is energetic and happy in doing her work, her face will
reflect the contentment. If one hates work, the face will reflect
discontent, the vital organs will grow flabby and affect the health, and
looks will suffer. Enthusiasm in work stimulates the vital organs,
causes circulation of the blood and makes the eye bright and the skin to
take on a more healthy hue.
If a girl is obliged to work in a kitchen she should respect her work
and dignify her position. She may be a "Somebody" washing dishes or
scrubbing a floor, if she does not depreciate her work and if she will
give it status instead of half doing it and complaining about it.
Only a somebody "can" work well. We cannot get blood out of a turnip,
and neither can a nobody "do" things. A slip-shod, half-hearted working
woman is a curse to the race, because she gives it a bad reputation. She
should put the "somebody" stamp on every portion of daily work and do
the work as if she expected to get a diploma for it each night. She
should not work mechanically or it will be drudgery. She should put
pride and enthusiasm in her work, and let it reflect her inner self.
It is the duty of every working girl to make her employer adore her for
her personal value and her word. "Do so much better work than you are
paid to do that not only your employers, but their friends will take
note and soon you will be paid for more than you do."
Be ready for the opportunity or crisis which is bound to come in a
change for the better. Stick to a position like a leach. Make it a
bigger and better one than you found it and it will prepare you for
greater openings. Somebody is always watching good workers.
In her relationship with men the colored working girl beautiful will put
a higher appraisement on herself than may be necessary in the case of
the more fate-favored colored girl who stays under her parents' roof.
Because she works is no reason why she should be cheap, easily attained,
or easily pleased as far as men are concerned.
She will demand much instead of little from men, that they will offer
more for the privilege of her society. Unless she is engaged she will be
wise to permit no caresses and will try to conquer the tendency towards
accepting "petting."
She will bide her time for the recognition of her worth. Many a servant
girl has seen her posterity lead a town, socially.
To know how to wait is a great secret; to patiently bide the time when
one may step into the niche that right living and preparation has made
possible. She will try to be contented and will strive for power to
conquer her work, and herself to be ready for the day when opportunity
will open her door to a larger and more responsible life. The beautiful
part about this is that she will be ready to fit into this new condition
of life.
She should observe, listen and imitate the good when at work. Contact is
often worth more than money. Many valuable lessons have been learned
while "in service." While alone working one has opportunity to "think"
and Thought rules the world.
A colored working girl is a racial trust. Her race burden is a heavy
one. Her speech, actions and diligence constitute the measure by which
the whole race is judged.
One need not permit previous family conditions or disadvantages of birth
to hamper her progress in life. No matter what one's people have been or
are, one is not to blame providing she rises above all of it.
She must "get up" and pull her family up after her, if she can. If this
can not be done she can pull herself up--up--up and be the "somebody" in
the family. She may grow in character, influence and reputation, until
people will forget her ancestry and any objectionable relations as well
as all former environment.
The Colored Working Girl Beautiful should not fear or worry about what
people may think. She should save her money. A bank account is always
the most respected thing in the struggle of life.
Even if some single black deed threatens to blot out the whole of a good
life (in one's own case or in the estimate of the world) she should be
brave enough to live it down. One should put her personality into
everything she does and "do" things worth while. The world moves on so
fast that even the bad is forgotten soon. One may live anything down
nowadays if one tries.
If she may not go with good people socially, she should stay alone. In
time she will make herself and others believe that this is her
preference.
She should not push or try to climb; she should bide her time. In the
meantime she might improve herself; she might study the piano, elocution
or singing, and prepare for the day when opportunity will open the
long-closed social door.
The Colored Woman Beautiful.
In spite of everything to be said on the subject the womanly woman is
always the strongest magnet whether she is called beautiful or not.
If the colored girl has not been taught by her mother or guardian to
train herself for a beautiful maturity even after she has passed
girlhood, it is not too late to train herself.
Good begets good, so she will exert herself to make a wide circle of
friends altho she will be careful not to grow too intimate with any. She
may be a real friend without undue intimacy.
It is conceded that most women "must talk" to someone but too much
intimacy means too much freedom and this often destroys friendship.
One cannot argue, quarrel, or criticize and still expect real
friendship. One definition of a friend is, "One you know all about and
still like." One should not try to "make her friends over" and one never
says disagreeable things to her friends nor does she make unfavorable
comments about their personal attire or weaknesses. She lets her friends
learn all unpleasant things from others. "The links of the chain of
friendship are held by a very delicate thread." The tiniest word, doubt
or action may sever the links.
The colored woman beautiful will try to love that she may be loved. She
believes that "man is his brother's keeper" and she has ideals and
visions for the race. She has a moral obligation; she reaches out a
helping hand to others. She can mix without being mixed. We can not help
others unless we mix. There must be close contact--touch to lift up
others.
The colored woman beautiful believes that everyone who gets up must pull
up, or else she will be kept down by the weight of the racial burden.
Each one's welfare is closely bound with that of the masses. The race
as a whole must progress and prosper, or else no unit may prosper. The
colored woman beautiful gives the best in her for race advancement. She
works, thinks, and reads to be ready for the need of the tomorrow and
its problems.
The colored woman beautiful will not carry "chips on her shoulder,"
looking for slights and insults. If she carries the thought too strongly
it becomes catching and someone will take up the idea. She will set into
motion lesser vibrations in the minds and bodies of others and the
things she imagines will happen.
She should resist thoughts of suspicion. She must not think about the
things she wishes to keep secret, for thoughts are contagious.
The colored woman beautiful does not call another woman "bad" just
because she does not measure up to her ethical code. She must be so
persistent in being good herself that everyone else seems to look and
act good. If God loves the lowest, she can afford to do likewise. She
follows the rule, "Judge not that ye be not judged." She does not make
the mistake of criticising those who have not her strong will power,
lest having stronger projection this unkindness may return swift and
sure to her. To permit the absent to be disparaged or depreciated in her
presence is almost as harmful to herself as if she had said things.
What is "good" in (another) woman? What is "bad" in (another) woman?
These are two difficult questions to answer and a woman must not judge
by her own standard for herself. Women are inclined to be too narrow in
their viewpoint in judging other women. While one may boast of her
virtue of virtues some women may have a bundle of lesser virtues of
which to boast. It takes more than one virtue to make a good woman.
Many women are unduly vain of their escape from the "sin of sins" and
some of these may have known no temptation.
When one notes how many good friends a so-called "bad" woman may have,
one wonders why it is. Those who understand the law of vibrations
recognize that the woman has projected something of herself which has
brought her a rich return in spite of her one weakness.
It is a terrible thing to be a bad example along any line to young
girls, so every colored woman should try to conquer herself and live
down any weakness or error. She should give out the best that is in her
that she may be a good example to younger women. She lets the light of
love and purity shine in her face and transform it, and it will reflect
in the faces of others and make her own soul the happier.
The Colored Wife Beautiful.
Married life is a co-partnership and the wife and husband pledge to
mutual help, when they enter into the marriage contract.
If in their girlhood wives had only studied men instead of giving up all
their time to so-called "loving and courting," there would not be so
much dissatisfaction, heart-ache and complaint after marriage. A girl
should try to select a man with control over himself, over his voice,
his emotions, even the angle of his hat, and then she should practice
control herself, until the two dispositions have become adjusted to each
other.
The ignorant girl who marries is full of trust and inexperienced
notions. The disillusionments of life seem to come too fast to suit the
majority. Many young wives immediately become discouraged or desperate
and fall out of the ranks by the wayside of the matrimonial highway,
without trying to live up to their end of the contract, or even
respecting their own vows at the altar.
"True loving is giving the best within us." When we have company we give
to them the best food, the best linen, the best china and silver-ware
that we own. Yet to those we are pledged to love and cherish we give
anything, and wonder why in return we have failed in receiving love and
all that goes with it.
A divorce is a terrible "something." It is a blight to children and
often means their ruin or the blasting of their future. If a woman has
children she should try to endure her lot until they are grown. In the
meantime she may prepare herself for a beautiful maturity and an
entrance into the commercial world or another field of activity.
Of course, if one's husband deserts her there is nothing else to do but
let him go, but if he clings to her and the home, she should use the
protection that his name gives to her until she is sure that she can
buffet the world alone.
In the larger field of public life a woman without the protection of a
husband's name has a hard lot if she has physical or other attractions.
Widows of both kinds are always under suspicion. If one is lighthearted
and enjoys even innocent pleasure, she may be called a "good timer," or
"fast," and this may injure her advancement in the arena of business
life.
The protection of the name of any kind of a man, bad, no account, or
cruel, is better than the suffering from cruel suspicions which often
blight the efforts of a sensitive woman, who perhaps in her loneliness
has turned for sympathy this way and that way, until she concludes that
if she suffers in name she may as well be "in the game," and chooses the
wrong way.
If a woman has money it is quite different. People fawn upon her and she
is less liable to snubbing if Dame Gossip should assail her.
The first duty of a wife is to keep healthy. Even if she is ailing she
must not complain unless through mental suggestion she desires to
increase her ailments, real or imaginary. She must earnestly endeavor to
discover the cause of the alleged ailment and remove it.
The colored wife beautiful of today must be a composite woman because
the colored man of today is many sided. They call woman a "creature of
moods" but most men may easily be called susceptible and changeable
creatures, when it comes to the attractions of the opposite sex.
Today it may be a pretty face which allures him; tomorrow a fine
conversationalist, or a musical person may attract. The next day a woman
with tremendous vitality may charm him. So he wanders, but he does not
intend to stray. One or several streaks in his make-up have been
satisfied, but his wife still stands upon her pedestal as the woman who
bears his name.
The up-to-date wife realizes his susceptibility (as a man) and is
prepared. She bides her time when like the prodigal, he will surely
return, perhaps mentally and morally purified and a wiser, if a sadder
man.
If a woman loves her husband and desires to keep him for herself and
family, she must train herself for her many varied duties including
attractiveness, which is a real duty.
If she thinks that some other woman has her husband's affection, her
thoughts help her to make this so. If she voices the suspicion she
fertilizes the soil and aids the growth or she may crystallize and give
form to rumor.
Even if there is ground for such a suspicion the up-to-date wife would
not admit it to herself or voice the fact.
"Man's love is of man's life a part, 'tis woman's whole existence."
The inexperienced wives forget that they cannot satisfy every mood of a
man without study or effort, unless they are remarkably gifted. Many a
wife has neglected her mind, body and powers and when some woman with
developed powers enters her marriage orbit, she flies off at a tangent,
admits defeat and gets a divorce without putting forth an effort to win
back the husband who is often worth saving.
It is humiliating to admit, "I have lost my husband!" A wife should
never admit it, even in thought.
Many a man does not intend to stray and loves his wife but he has been
carried off his feet just for the moment.
There are Keeley cures to save men, why not husband cures to save homes,
especially those with children whose futures are at stake.
I know several colored women who have had good ground for doubting
their husband's fidelity who have never allowed the men to know that
they have doubted them.
One wife made a study of "the woman in the case" and threw her and her
husband together in her home until the man was satiated. In the meantime
she studied herself and the woman to see what it was that attracted her
husband. Then she went into training for the match--war--if it should
come to that--in attractiveness, and she won without telling her secret.
If a wife will give a man time and will play the attractive game as she
did before marriage, her husband will soon turn his face homeward, and
will wonder what the other charm was.
Many men are attracted by youth alone and after youth has flown they are
not interested. A wife should study the fancies of her husband if she
desires to hold him, and then begin work upon herself, to hold her
youthful looks.
Wives must prepare for the dangerous age which they say comes to a woman
between thirty-five and forty-five, and to a man from forty to fifty,
when both are accused of being attracted to younger faces, and when they
do foolish things. A wife must strengthen herself, lest she stray, and
cultivate her own attractive powers lest her husband should incline to
stray.
A man does not age as quickly as a woman. At fifty a woman is supposed
to be on her decline while a man is in his prime at fifty.
It is a woman's own fault if, at forty the lines in her face turn down
and if her hair and teeth are all gone. If she is a "nagger" the
reflection will appear in her face. If she has permitted household cares
to swamp her, and reflect themselves in her face and body, she has no
one to blame but herself.
Many a woman has attracted her husband through her singing,
conversation, or other accomplishments and after marriage has permitted
these to decline, and has not lived up to the ideal that she gave him
before marriage.
A wife should ask herself if she is living up to the ideal she suggested
before she married, or if she is a disappointment, before she questions
her husband's conduct.
Some wives think that their morality in wifehood is all sufficient. A
woman may boast of her "virtue" until doom's day, but "if her soul is
small and her heart stingy" her example is not worthy of imitation--for
she is only good to herself. She has no way of proving the ownership of
the "virtue of virtues." It takes many virtues to make one "good," in
the real sense of the word.
A colored wife should not be discontented without good cause nor should
she complain of monotony when she may choose so many helpful
diversions, and may help to make others happy.
Every colored wife who has not borne children, or a wife who has lost
children owes a duty to the children of others.
In fact, these owe a greater debt to posterity than the mother. Such
women should not live for themselves alone, lest they canker. Contact
with youth infuses youthful thoughts and enthusiasm, and keeps a woman's
heart young, and if her heart is young her face will reflect this mental
attitude.
There are thousands of children with living mothers who still need
"mothering." One may work out her own youth and beauty culture while
"mothering" a little one. It is worth a trial as a youth stimulant.
There are four great laws given to a wife:
"Brace up! Brush up! Clean up! Look up!"
The Colored Mother Beautiful.
When a woman enters into the marriage contract--into the partnership of
home making--it is understood that parenthood is to be the chief aim and
hope.
If a man is good enough to marry and to contribute his support, he is
good enough to be a father or else he should not have been selected.
A woman who marries and does not intend to have children is merely an
object of convenience who has sold herself.
To assume the position of colored motherhood is the greatest privilege
and responsibility that can come to any woman in this age.
The colored mother beautiful carries a heavy burden--the weight of
future generations of a handicapped, persecuted people. She may bless or
curse each succeeding generation; she may change race history; she may
make a more beautiful race with the beauty that comes from beauty of
character and right living.
What a privilege to carve the destiny of a race! How glorious to look
into the future and see lines of ancestry influenced and advanced by her
thought and example, to see her stamp of personality upon a posterity
which will point to her in pride and thankfulness!