"The proverb says, 'for a friend seven miles even are no distance,'"
said Nosdrieff as he entered the room and took off his hat. "I was just
passing the inn, saw a light in your room, thought to myself, I'll call
upon him, he is surely not in bed yet, and here I am. Ah, delightful!
you have yet your tea on the table; I shall have great pleasure to take
a cup with you. I have made a very indifferent dinner to-day, and feel
the consequences even now, just give orders to your servant to bring me
a pipe. Where is your pipe?"
"I don't smoke," said Tchichikoff, dryly.
"Nonsense! as if I did not know that you are an inveterate smoker.
Halloa! what's that fellow's name? Halloa, Vachramei, where are you?"
"His name is not Vachramei, but Petruschka."
"How is this? but you used to have a servant of the name of Vachramei
formerly."
"I never had a servant of that name in my life."
"Just so, my friend Derebischkin has a Vachramei. By the bye, imagine
only what a lucky fellow that Derebischkin is. An aunt of his, having
quarrelled with her own son for marrying the daughter of one of her
serfs, has disinherited him, and left the whole of her property to
my friend Derebischkin. When I heard of it, I could not help wishing
for a couple of such aunts. But what is the matter with you, my dear
fellow, why have you become a stranger, and are no more seen among
us? Of course I know that you are sometimes engaged on scientific
subjects, and like to play the original, and read and study, (why
Nosdrieff came to the conclusion that our hero was fond of reading, and
studying scientific subjects, is impossible for us to tell, and still
less for Tchichikoff himself). "Ah, my dear fellow Tchichikoff, if you
could but have witnessed it--it would have been excellent food for
your satirical wit, (why Tchichikoff was possessed of satirical wit,
it was also impossible to say.) Imagine only, my dear fellow, we were
gambling a little the other evening at Lichatcheff's house, we had such
a lark there! My friend Perependeiff, who was with me, said what a pity
that our Tchichikoff is not with us, he would have heartily enjoyed
the fun--(meanwhile it must be observed that Tchichikoff never in his
whole life knew a man of the name of Perependeiff.) However, I hope, my
dear fellow, you will agree with me, that you acted very ungentlemanly
to me on the last occasion, when we played that game of draughts, in
which I was the winner. Yes, my dear fellow, I cannot help saying, you
regularly did me out of it. However, the devil knows I cannot get angry
on any account. It is but recently, that I and the President...."
"Halloa! and by the bye, I must tell you, my dear fellow, that the
whole town is against you, they are under the impression that you
are a manufacturer of spurious bank notes, they pressed hard upon
me, but I defended you like a brother, I made them believe we were
school-fellows, and that I knew your father; you may depend upon it, my
dear fellow, I made them swallow a regular blue pill."
"What do you say, I am suspected of making false bank notes?" exclaimed
Tchichikoff in a fit of amazement, as he rose from his chair.
"But what pleasure could you also find in frightening them nearly out
of their senses?" continued Nosdrieff. "I can assure you, my dear
fellow, they are nearly all mad from fear; they believe you also to
be a highwayman, and an imperial spy. As for the Procurator, the poor
fellow died in consequence of your reputation, and is to be buried
to-morrow. Will you attend the funeral? To speak the truth, they are
horribly alarmed at the new Governor-General, who has been appointed
by the Emperor. However, my dear fellow, I cannot help making the
observation; but you play a hazardous game."
"What hazardous game do you mean?" Tchichikoff again asked, rather
alarmed.
"Well, I mean your projected elopement with the present
Governor-General's daughter. For my part, I must confess, I expected
as much of you, by heavens I thought you would do it! The first time
I saw you both together at the ball, I thought to myself, I'm sure
Tchichikoff is not the fellow to take so much trouble for nothing.
However, allow me to tell you, that I do not exactly approve of your
choice, I cannot find anything particularly attractive in that fair
girl. I would have liked her cousin, Anastasia Bikousova better, she is
a charming little thing!"
"But stop, stop, what nonsense are you talking there? What did you
say--I was going to elope with the Lord Lieutenant's daughter?"
Tchichikoff stammered, opening his eyes widely.
"Well, my dear fellow, now don't you presume to be so very mysterious
about the matter. I must confess, I came here with an intention. I am
ready to assist you in the speculation. Be it so: I am willing to hold
the nuptial crown over your head, I am ready to place my carriage and
the relay horses at your disposal, but you must lend me a sum of five
thousand roubles. I want them, I want them desperately, my dear fellow!"
During the whole time the prattling of Nosdrieff lasted, Tchichikoff
continued to rub his eyes, wishing to convince himself whether he
was under the impression of a dream, or whether he was listening to
something in reality. Manufacturer of false bank notes, the elopement
with the Governor-General's daughter, the death of the Imperial
Procurator, which he was given to understand was caused by him, the
appointment and speedy arrival of a new Lord-Lieutenant, all this was
calculated to alarm him considerably. If matters have come to this
point, he thought to himself, I have no reason to tarry any longer
here, and it is the highest time for me to leave town immediately.
He tried to rid himself as soon as possible of Nosdrieff's company,
in which he at last succeeded, but not without some considerable
difficulty. He then called in his servant Selifan, and gave him
instructions to be ready by the break of day, in order that they should
have no impediments in leaving Smolensk by six o'clock in the morning,
everything should be packed and ready, the britchka well greased, the
horses cleaned, &c., &c.
Selifan answered: "very well, Pavel Ivanovitch," but remained
nevertheless for a few moments immoveable at the door. Tchichikoff
ordered Petruschka to draw forward from under the bed his portmanteau,
which was covered with a thick layer of dust, he began to assist his
servant in the packing of all his property indiscriminately into
it, such as stockings, shirts, and other clean and unwashed linen,
boot-jacks, an almanack--all these effects were placed into the
portmanteau as they happened to come under their hands; he intended to
have everything absolutely ready in the evening, so that nothing should
prevent or delay his departure in the morning.
Selifan who had, as we before said, remained silently standing at the
door, when he saw the preparation for his master's departure carried on
so vigorously, at last left the room in a hurry.
Hurriedly, as hurriedly as it is possible to imagine it, he descended
the staircase, imprinting the marks of his wet footsteps on the stairs,
on arriving below he stopped short, and began to scratch the back of
his head for a considerable rime.
What this scratching of his head meant, or what it in general was meant
for, is difficult to say, but it is a characteristic trait of persons
in his condition. Was it the disappointment, that he would not be able
to go the next evening once more with his brother servant across the
street to the cellar like imperial dram-shop, or had it, perhaps,
happened that he had already succeeded during their protracted sojourn
in Smolensk, in forming a tender attachment of the heart with some
neighbour's kitchen-maid, and that he would have to bid farewell to his
fair girl, and that there would be an end to their tender conversation
before the gate, where with his balalaika in his hand he used to give
her an evening song.
Or, again was he simply sorry to leave a place to which he had just
begun to accustom himself, and feel cozy and comfortable near the
kitchen fire wrapped in his greasy sheep-skin, eating porridge and
sour cabbage soup with fat meat-pies; leave all these comforts for the
purpose of travelling again in rain and storm, and be tossed about on
his master's britchka?
Heaven alone knows what it meant, but it has many and innumerable
meanings with the Russian people, when they begin to scratch the back
of their head.