[From the Cedar Rapids Gazette.]
Mrs. T. M. Dripps gave a dinner Friday in honor of Mrs. D. L. Leek of
South Dakota.
* * *
"Kind Captain, I've important information." Mr. Honkavaarra runs an
automobile livery in Palmer, Mich.
* * *
"The first child, Lord Blandford, was born in 1907; the second was born
in 1898."--Chicago American.
This so annoyed the Duke, that a reconciliation was never possible.
* * *
When your friend points with pride to a picture that, in your judgment,
leaves something to be desired, or when he exhibits the latest addition
to his family, you may be perplexed to voice an opinion that will
satisfy both him and your conscience. An artist friend of ours is never
at a loss. If it is a picture, he exclaims, "Extraordinary!" If it is an
infant, he remarks, "_There +is+ a baby!_"
He might add, with the English wit, "one more easily conceived than
described."
* * *
The advantages of a classical education are so obvious that the
present-day battle in its behalf seems a waste of energy. Frezzample,
without a classical education how could you appreciate the fact that Mr.
Odessey is now running a Noah's Ark candy kitchen in St. Peter, Wis.?
* * *
One may believe that the "gift of healing" is nothing more than the
application of imaginary balm to non-existent disease, but if one says
so he gets into a jolly row with people who consider an open mind
synonymous with credulity. Our own state of mind was accurately
described by Charles A. Dana: "I don't believe in ghosts," said he, "but
I've been afraid of them all my life."
* * *
The congregation will rise and sing:
Bill Bryan's heart is a-mouldering in the grave,
But his lungs go marching on.
* * *
The astronomer Hamilton "made an expedition to Dublin to substitute a
semi-colon for a colon"; but, reports J. E. R., "my wife's brother's
brother-in-law's doctor charged him $600 for removing only part of a
colon."
* * *
Few readers realize how much time is expended in making certain that
commas are properly distributed. Thomas Campbell walked six miles to a
printer's to have a comma in one of his poems changed to a semi-colon.
* * *
Following a bout with the gloves, a Seattle
clubman is reported "in a state of comma." A
doctor writes us that infection by the colon bacillus
can be excluded, but we should say that what
the patient needs is not a doctor but a proof
reader.
* * *
"She played Liszt's Rhapsodie No. 2 with remarkable speed," relates the
Indianapolis News. In disposing of Liszt's Rhapsodies it is all right to
step on the accelerator, as the sooner they are finished the better.
* * *
GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY CLIMATE, AND FORGIVE US OUR DROPS IN
TEMPERATURE!
[From the Pasadena Star-News.]
To put it in another form of expression, Mother Nature maintains poise
and evenness of temper in this state far better than in most regions on
this terrestrial ball. If you haven't thanked God to-day that you are
privileged to live in California it is not yet too late to do so. Make
it a daily habit. The blessing is worth this frequent expression of
gratitude to the All High.
* * *