While the Giantess spoke she dragged Jack into the castle. "Into this
wardrobe," said she; "and mind you don't make the smallest noise, or my
man will wring your neck. He takes a nap after dinner, and then you'll
have a chance to demonstrate that grease-eradicator you sold me last
week."
The wardrobe was as big as Jack's yacht, and the key-hole as big as a
barrel, so the boy could see everything that took place without.
Presently the castle was shaken as if by an earthquake, and a great
voice roared: "Wife! wife! I smell gasoline!"
Jack trembled, remembering that in tinkering around his car that morning
he had spilled gas on his clothes.
"Be quiet!" replied the Giantess. "It's only the lightning-cleaner which
that scamp of a peddler sold me the other day."
The Giant ate a couple of sheep; then, pushing his plate away, he called
for his talking harp. And while he smoked, the harp rattled off a long
string of stuff about the equal liability of all men to labor, the
abolition of the right of inheritance, and kindred things. Jack resolved
that when he got hold of the harp he would serve it at a formal
dinner, under a great silver cover. What a sensation it would cause
among his guests when it began to sing its little song about the
abolition of the right of inheritance!
In a short time the Giant fell asleep, for the harp, like many
reformers, became wearisome through exaggeration of statement. Jack
slipped from the wardrobe, seized the harp, and ran out of the castle.
"Master! Master!" cried the music-maker. "Wake up! We are betrayed!"
Glancing back, Jack saw the Giant striding after him, and gave himself
up for lost; but at that moment he heard his name called, and he saw the
Fairy, Polly Twinkletoes, beckoning to him from a taxicab. Jack sprang
into the machine and they reached the beanstalk a hundred yards ahead of
the giant. Down the stalk they slipped and dropped, the Giant lumbering
after. Once at the bottom, Jack ran to the garage and got out his
man-killer, and when the Giant reached ground he was knocked, as Jack
had promised, into the middle of the proximate month.
Our hero married the Fairy, much against his mother's wishes; she knew
her son all too well, and she felt certain that she should soon come to
know Polly as well, and as unfavorably. Things turned out no better than
she had expected. After a month of incompatibility, and worse, Polly
consented to a divorce in consideration of one hundred thousand dollars,
and they all lived happily ever afterward.