MADAME D’ETAMPES, when she heard how well my affairs were going,
redoubled her spite against me, saying in her own heart: “It is I who
rule the world to-day, and a little fellow like that snaps his fingers
at me! She put every iron into the fire which she could think of, in
order to stir up mischief against me. Now a certain man fell in her way,
who enjoyed great fame as a distiller; he supplied her with perfumed
waters, which were excellent for the complexion, and hitherto unknown in
France. This fellow she introduced to the King, who was much delighted
by the processes for distilling which he exhibited. While engaged in
these experiments, the man begged his Majesty to give him a tennis-court
I had in my castle, together with some little apartments which he said I
did not use. The good King, guessing who was at the bottom of the
business, made no answer; but Madame d’Etampes used those wiles with
which women know so well to work on men, and very easily succeeded in
her enterprise; for having taken the King at a moment of amorous
weakness, to which he was much subject, she wheedled him into conceding
what she wanted.
The distiller came, accompanied by Treasurer Grolier, a very great
nobleman of France, who spoke Italian excellently, and when he entered
my castle, began to jest with me in that language. [1] Watching his
opportunity, [2] he said: “In the King’s name I put this man here into
possession of that tennis-court, together with the lodgings that pertain
to it.” To this I answered: “The sacred King is lord of all things here:
so then you might have effected an entrance with more freedom: coming
thus with notaries and people of the court looks more like a fraud than
the mandate of a powerful monarch. I assure you that, before I carry my
complaints before the King, I shall defend my right in the way his
Majesty gave me orders two days since to do. I shall fling the man whom
you have put upon me out of windows if I do not see a warrant under the
King’s own hand and seal.” After this speech the treasurer went off
threatening and grumbling, and I remained doing the same, without,
however, beginning the attack at once. Then I went to the notaries who
had put the fellow in possession. I was well acquainted with them; and
they gave me to understand that this was a formal proceeding, done
indeed at the King’s orders, but which had not any great significance;
if I had offered some trifling opposition the fellow would not have
installed himself as he had done. The formalities were acts and customs
of the court, which did not concern obedience to the King; consequently,
if I succeeded in ousting him, I should have acted rightly, and should
not incur any risk.
This hint was enough for me, and next morning I had recourse to arms;
and though the job cost me some trouble, I enjoyed it. Each day that
followed, I made an attack with stones, pikes and arquebuses, firing,
however, without ball; nevertheless, I inspired such terror that no one
dared to help my antagonist. Accordingly, when I noticed one day that
his defence was feeble, I entered the house by force, and expelled the
fellow, turning all his goods and chattels into the street. Then I
betook me to the King, and told him that I had done precisely as his
Majesty had ordered, by defending myself against every one who sought to
hinder me in his service. The King laughed at the matter, and made me
out new letters-patent to secure me from further molestation. 3
Note 1. Jean Grolier, the famous French Mæcenas, collector of books,
antiquities, &c.